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res treating women as numbers we forget the bond we can create with this woman and that she too has the potential to originate feminist insights and participate genuinely in the movement it s alienating both for the recruiter and recruitee women don t need to be taught but to find the means to wake up to our own reality we can t bash or brainwash the truth into a women s head liberation can t be imposed on we want to recruit because we are desperate we are isolated as radical lesbian feminists and we can t stand the constant backlash against feminism or how dire the situation is but the irony is that recruitment and putting ourselves above or outside women reinforces isolation anger and desperation more than anything else it puts in a perpetual state of frustration dissatisfaction and disappointment because we re always waiting for and expecting something that doesn t yet exist and isn t happening now it fuels resentment on both sides because it s based on unrealistic expectations of what women can accomplish given their current situation so when women aren t capable of meeting these expectations for instance that all women call themselves lesbians in solidarity of lesbians or that they all leave their boyfriends now etc this causes feelings of guilt and shame of being a failure in the othered women and causes feelings of being betrayed and let down in the aboved women but being impatient about women not freeing themselves fast enough is like asking women to run when their feet are still chained and to leap when their minds are still bound it s a mindfuck it s like requesting someone to swim now when they ve never learnt how to swim we should see things the other way round it s up to us swimming experts to spend time with women and show them how to swim and help them overcome their fear of water and once they are ready we ll dive in together as naturally as fish if we want our sisters to join us we have to come to them reach out to them help create emotional and material conditions for all of us in which they can free their minds from the male mindbindings and once such conditions are met the mindbindings will unpeel naturally one after the other the magic will unfold there will be no great effort to produce as the magic of consciousness raising is that change happens viscerally as women lucky enough to understand the workings of patriarchy the onus is on us to do the work of consciousness raising it makes complete sense to me feminism is about bonding with women i know i know this is being repeated again and again and sometimes in so many vacuous contexts but i just uncovered a new meaning to it creating divides between women and treating women as other divides us it s not feminist i realise how strongly feminism is dependent on the inter individual connections we create with women since the only alternative to patriarchy is the world we create between ourselves and for our world to be truly alternative it has to be based on relationships that are sustaining safe nourishing and feminist this can happen online irl etc but i don t see any other way otherwise we automatically fall back into dissociation denial fragmentation division anger against women etc i find it important to interact with women from as many backgrounds as possible talk to them listen to their stories feminism just can t happen or flourish in conditions where we put ourselves above other women or castigate them for not being feminist enough are frustrated when they don t meet our expectations of what a good radfem should be or distrust women s potential for change and leaps it doesn t mean that we never make any mistakes that there are never any tensions conflicts and obstacles but if we can understand that there s always room for adjustment and cooperation according to our needs and circumstances feminism can only spread by creating genuine horizontal relationships with women and genuine bonds in which we trust each other s capacity or potential to participate in radical feminism and freedom of all women when we take each other into consideration it s easier to respect our pace and rhythm to be aware of what we re capable of doing right now of the level of danger we face and reward each other for the small yet big steps we ve made one day all our bonds will form a web so tight that i hope nothing will be able to break it again as a radfem lesbian feminist creating a trusting relationship with a woman is in itself a concrete material condition which makes leaps possible feminist centred woman bonding has to be experienced directly in order for it to be conceived as an alternative in order to be able to live this alternative it can t be explained if the woman has never experienced it this is another reason why woman bonding is the driving force of feminism sparking can only happen in a situation of true equality and horizontal exchange it really doesn t mean we should accept misogyny and violence from part of women and i never will but the response to it isn t by going against such women t he only way to share feminism is within a context discussion group gathering defined by radical feminist principles by really taking women into consideration rather than trying to distance ourselves from them by one means or another once we stop viewing women as an other camp once we re in empathy with how they re being trapped by embedded misogyny or men and trust in women s capacity to free themselves once we trust women s potential it really takes the tension and desperation away relieves us from the feeling that we have to control the interaction and from the perceived burden of having to free all women we no longer see the world as resting on our shoulders and just let things flow non hierarchy is truly the most amazing thing to experience that is when you come to the point where you can rely on your feminist peers follow the flow and everything you create is intimately intertwined with the creations and input of other women where you trust that everything they will say will be mindblowing witty and bring a new light and dimension to what we are discussing or what we are co creating where ideas that aren t as good are naturally discarded for the better ones i now much better understand the profound meaning of women being naturally anarchic we really are and when it happens it s just magical when we let ourselves be carried by the flow it feels like witnessing bursts of life the very movement of life and participating in it too anyway i don t know if any of this makes sense additional notes on heterosexuality and privilege published june 19 2014 heterocage radical lesbian critique series various forms of antifeminism closed just to make things clear my series is not in any way a defence or excuse of anti lesbianism from part of heterosexual women anti lesbianism is part of men s arsenal to crush women and prevent us from resisting compulsory heterosexuality and bonding with other women just as with anti feminism racism classism and general maiming of women men use the women they own as vessels of anti lesbian repression i have repeatedly stated in many of my posts that any form of misogyny from part of women whoever the woman is and whatever the form it takes is a result of being oppressed and colonised by men and that it can be unsafe to be around such women although i never blame any woman for being oppressed or colonised by male ideas i do hold her responsible for ceasing to harm other women i also maintain that just as with any aspect of male oppression anti lesbianism is driven and organised by men not women focusing on the snide remarks exclusion and snobbery of women compared to the institutional crushing of lesbians by men is like looking at the pebble instead of the mountain it is not women who set up the asylums to lobotomise and electrocute lesbians who commit corrective rapes of lesbians who write the laws to outlaw lesbianism who control the medical and psychiatric institutions which pathologise lesbians and force us to mutilate ourselves so to assimilate physically to men nor do women secretly control the male gay movement which turned lesbianism into phallic worshipping bdsm practices own the porn industry which transformed the entire lesbian movement into an lgbtq male porn fantasy or control the male trans lobby which erases lesbians to the extent of replacing us by men in dress etc etc my series is also not a judgement of lesbianism of lesbian communities lesbian commitment or of the rightful anger against the oppression and erasure of lesbians and actually my post has not much to do with lesbianism at all sorry i m criticising the misogynist and male centred views on heterosexuality of a very specific small group of women which has emerged in the 80s and call themselves radical lesbians radical lesbianism is a small fringe within the lesbian and lesbian feminist movement and doesn t represent all of radical lesbian feminism at all it s a hybrid lesbian separatist movement with some twisted input of pseudo feminism intersectional and gay queer ideology on heteronormativity for some reason some radical lesbians also call themselves radical feminists or radical lesbian feminists and i don t know whether or not they re aware of the difference in meaning but it s important we don t confuse them and name radical lesbian ideology accordingly in fact radical lesbian views on heterosexuality works very much like intersectionality in that it s displaced anger against women based on a myth and reversal of female privilege and especially based on pervasive hatred and disgust of what men have reduced women to be under eons of debasement and sexual subordination the disgust of women who are penetrated by men while the anti lesbianism of such women is real and truly felt by lesbians the fact these women are beneficiary agents of this erasure and deserving of contempt for being owned by men is totally wrong as i said colonisation of women by definition works against all women the colonised as much as the recipient of their misogyny take a look at my posts on intersectionality and colonisation for further information as i m not going to repeat myself in the same way as intersectionality radical lesbian views on heterosexuality are an outgrowth of lefty male anti feminist tactics which renders men s responsibility invisible undoes feminist analyses of men s sexual violence intimidates and silences those women who denounce it and targets women instead of men the reason i insist in writing this and on criticising radical lesbian views on heterosexuality is that it specifically attacks the foundation of feminist understanding of our oppression the inherent oppressive nature of intercourse and heterosexuality intercourse and hetero captivity being the central building block of men s oppression it comes to no surprise that men do everything to erase our awareness of it it s also perfectly normal in a context of continued backlash against feminists that the reversals and denials have deeply infiltrated women s groups whether lesbian or not however such misogynist views have no place in radical feminism and my point is to demonstrate that having contempt for the vast majority of women trapped by men s heterocaptive system is well extremely misogynist anyhow i don t understand why hardly anyone openly protests against the enormity of the reversal that hetero captivity and intercourse are a source of privilege and freedom of choice for women this belief fails such basic understanding of patriarchal violence and is such a direct product of common male propaganda that i can t understand how it s been tolerated for so long in the radical feminist movement not to mention that it is primarily lesbians who produced most of radical feminist criticism of intercourse and compulsory heterosexuality and saying that it s anti lesbian to name the inherent violence of piv and heterosexuality is just laughable i m also sick of the crass misogyny of statements such as heterosexual women are privileged dick lovers who should own up to it and go eat more dick paraphrasing here and that radical feminists who criticise piv and heterosexuality are just ex hets frustrated about having had bad sex with men and want to whine about it or get sympathy from lesbians the you just need to be fucked right is the typical kind of rape threat men throw at women who refuse to submit to them sexually these views are unacceptable and a reproduction of the most vile and base woman hatred what it also amounts to is accusing women of being whores who are too stupid to admit they are one well why not say that to prostitution survivors say that to incest rape survivors say that to abuse survivors no because this is what we all are as women prostitution piv rape and incest are the heterosexual institution ask a man if it s gay to penetrate his daughter his wife the prostituted woman the essence of heterosexuality is sexual violation and no woman has escaped this violation when in close and prolonged contact with men we are all survivors of male abuse at different degrees for sure but male abuse it is some basic facts on heterosexuality heterosexuality is compulsory that is we are psychologically conditioned through propaganda and physically forced into it through sexual harassment rape marriage and pimping this is one of the very basic tenets of radical feminism compulsory means the opposite of choice by definition women never choose to be owned by a man and the only free choice we can make is to resist hetero captivity by becoming separatist lesbian or celibate heterosexuality is the system which guarantees each man sexual access to a woman and exclusive ownership over her so he can rape impregnate and use her as his personal breeder and domestic slave it s the foundational institution of patriarchal oppression on which all patriarchal institutions economic state medical religious military etc are built on most if not all patriarchal societies have divided the heterosexual system into two sub systems one is marriage in which individual men acquire individual women exclusively for intercourse reproduction and domestic slavery the other is prostitution in which some men pimps own and rent women exclusively for being raped by any passing man as a form of public service by and for men in the old days and still very much today marriage used to be the only political structure that guaranteed men s right to acquire a woman permanently for intercourse and breeding the term heterosexuality is fairly recent in history and appeared in the 19 th century at the same time as the pathologisation and psychologisation of lesbians and gays when women started to free themselves from the institution of marriage men progressively replaced marriage with compulsory intercourse to all men and this was sold as sexual liberation to women however this was nothing other than the liberation of lefty men so they could fuck all the w...
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