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school and practice there seems to be a pervasive myth that my job is pretty and easy here i reveal the painful ugly truth about why it takes so long to build a building what it is exactly that we do and why that s not creamer you smell in my coffee friday march 10 2017 what had happened was part 3 in bullet form guy has lunch with sven from design associates and proposes that he gives it a shot at da for maybe 6 months to 2 years sven asks guy what about pixie she had a lot to say when she left guy replies that he s not me and he knows the downsides of working with da and has no illusions about howie and bosley guy takes the job at slightly less than he made at megaarch i continue working at megaarch but seem to spend more time working on smaller local projects with my past clients than with the larger national planning group an international project falls through another project gets delayed when i do work on a master planning project in a neighboring state i m relegated to a bit of a note taker role with a little planning guy starts at da on a big project with molly who promptly pisses guy off by attempting to treat him like her child or her lackey but not as a colleague with 18 years experience guy confronts her about it and she removes him from the project a really good architect gets laid off from megaarch three weeks before a major deadline on a government project the regional architecture director pulls me aside and says not to worry even though i m not that busy right now because i m part of a longer term strategy to rebuild megaarch s healthcare practice in the front range western region three members of da leadership corner guy in a conference room to talk to him about his assertive behavior and he threatens to quit they back down because da hates confrontation 2016 ends with neither of us getting raises i get no bonus guy gets a very small bonus i start 2017 with anticipating some more local work that i helped us get in an rfp interview process a project manager with that client gives my contact info to the new coo of a hospital who is looking for a really good planner to help with some master planning of some outpatient clinics guy starts 2017 working with howie who apparently sees some of himself in guy s somewhat brusque communication style guy finds howie micromanaging and tedious but at least howie thanks him for doing good work and for stepping in when necessary megaarch lays me off in early february the national group just doesn t have enough work for me i have to email my clients to let them know i ve been let go i go home and cry and pace and cry some more i email colleagues in all fields architecture engineering owner s reps furniture vendors to get the word out that i m available and looking i get a call from a contractor who was on vacation with someone i d emailed he eventually offers me a position with his company i m seriously thinking about it i called the coo at the hospital to let him know i m no longer with megaarch but would be glad to do his planning as a single person he calls me back i visit with him and his staff and tour the facility i send him an agreement and am waiting to hear back i go to the library and start figuring out if i should be an llc or an s corp three more firms contact me outright to do planning contract work and or to join them as a full time employee i tell one of the firms that they might want to talk to guy instead he s pretty done with the da bullshittery guy meets with them and accepts an offer pending a few logistics and paperwork if all goes well he can be in a new firm in the next month or two guy and i celebrate our 12th wedding anniversary in vegas we rock posted by mile high pixie at 1 03 pm 3 comments sunday june 19 2016 what had happened was part 2 okay so where were we oh i gave my notice at design associates and as usual the fallout was interesting i gave my notice to an associate partner who i felt had my back and understood the epic bullshittery around me and as disappointed as he was he really understood why i needed to leave i asked the associate partner to let the others know and that i d thought long and hard about this and had made my final decision there were to be no taking pixie to lunch or drinks to try to talk me out of it with more money or promotions or anything of the sort which they apparently took to mean that no partner should talk to me at all and none of them did for an entire week not even eye contact folks i was persona non grata after a week howie and sven had to talk to me because i was spending my four week notice helping my team finish cds for a major addition and renovation project on a small hospital in east colorado as well as working on a few small things for another client still though no social conversation just business and another week passed in which no partner or otherwise spoke to me or looked at me except for molly who can t fucking talk to anyone without putting her hands on them she came over and grabbed my shoulders like she was mock choking me after reading of my resignation if she puts a hand on me ever again i m going to rip it off and shove it up her ass just because i m a small woman who ranks lower than you at your firm that doesn t mean you can put your hands on me news of my departure spread colleagues were surprised though more often than not they high fived me apparently my departure came as quite a shock to those ranking above me but those who actually do the work were surprised it took me so long those last few weeks were excruciating i just wanted to run screaming from the building all day but i had to stay put and finish those specs and redline those drawing sheets because my team had been about 1 person down for the whole project since october and 2 people down for the past 4 months and i wasn t going to fuck over my project team because of the grand mal stupidity of the people that supposedly run this dumpster fire they call a firm and over and over and over again i witnessed and heard things that confirmed for me time and again leaving is the right thing to do you can t fix this place pixie the people in charge don t want it they say they want change and innovation but they don t mean it change means that they do more faster with fewer people innovation means free work out of already underpaid employees under the guise of empowerment the partners get six figure bonus checks every quarter but they have the audacity to argue with the head of admin about hiring a temp at 13 hr to scan some files for them so they could eliminate the off site storage needed for them they pay college interns less than i made fresh out of college 15 years ago while charging every single latte and snickers bar to a project s expenses then have the audacity to complain about the entitled millennials moments like this make me wish i was a man so all of those sanctimonius dipshits could line up and suck my dick i left with no fanfare howie asked to throw a going away happy hour for me a few weeks afterwards which of course i didn t want but knew if i didn t then i d be the asshole i arrived at the pub in question to find that howie hadn t made reservations for our rather sizable group and started acting all spazzed out that his overburdened admin assistant hadn t read his mind and made the reservation i looked at chloe my longtime friend and colleague from st ermahgerd and she just shook her head slowly not gonna miss this shit show are ya she asked while stifling a huge laugh as we watched howie act spastically amazed that magic didn t happen and our group of 16 didn t have a party room just because he started waving his hands around dude these aren t your employees they don t give a fuck if you didn t plan ahead their job doesn t actually rely on bending over backwards for you and bumping two other planned parties because you don t know how to operate a phone and an outlook calendar maybe you could use one of your big ass bonuses to pay someone to care oh never mind money never mind i took four months off four months off like ron livingston s character in office space i did nothing and it was everything i dreamed it would be guy and i went to south carolina and georgia for our birthday this year which happened to be my 40th we went to the golf course near myrtle beach where my uncle put two bullets in dad s head and one in his own and i spent a moment reveling in the peace and beauty of the patch of earth upon which my father last fell that now supported green lush grass and turf the sandy soil that drank blood spilled too wrong and too soon now cradled life small insects bumbling their ways over and under the brobdignagian blades of perfect green small birds bouncing over the tee looking for those same insects and the occasional worm and a squirrel hop hop hopping around a tree to search for pine cones with a few tasty seeds still left only to find one of those humans with a wet face staring into the middle distance unlike most humans on this grassy place this one looks distressed and makes noises like an abandoned squirrel kit humans are weird i also cleaned like a motherfucker which those of y all who know me know what perverse joy i get out of cleaning i cleaned out my closet and drawers and my portfolio from 6 years of architecture school and my bathroom and my art supplies and books seven boxes of books to the library people and everything guy also did some cleaning out of his clothes and some of the crap stored on the back balcony though it took him a little longer to really clean his crap up really it took both of us some time to clean our crap up as i was finally finding peace in my work life guy s was falling apart while i was about to start my almost perfect dream job at megaarch guy was miserable there hamstrung by the corporate processes and by his boss who didn t seem entirely comfortable being in charge and pushing back on said corporate process guy was underemployed and found himself being passed over for professional training and advancement opportunities and it got to him bad he began to doubt his own professional abilities and even his own general worthiness as a person i can name that tune in one note he agreed with his boss to cut his hours for three months to just what he needed to work to keep our healthcare and then we both really got to work we didn t just clean the house we cleaned our own houses emotionally we purged some bullshit and half truths and fears and arguments and it was good we went a long way towards fixing our shit it left me in a good place to start my new job in january of 2016 while i didn t immediately have anything billable to do i had time to settle in and learn how megaarch does stuff how their software works etc i overall found a grown up firm run by grown up people who hire other grown up people to be your coworkers what an utterly novel concept after a couple of months of working in the same office guy says while driving home look i really need to leave megaarch they want and value specialists like you not generalists like me i ve gone about as far as i can here and i m going crazy while i go nowhere fair enough i replied i have my awesome job now we need to get you an awesome job we drove through a few green lights silently then guy said what if i go back to design associates i promise part 3 will come sooner than six months later posted by mile high pixie at 10 09 am 6 comments sunday january 24 2016 what had happened was part 1 i ve been wrestling with the best way to describe what happened at design associates i m trying to find the place in between a brief overly professional and un informative paragraph and the three post long gory blow by blow truth hopefully the following achieves that y all recall that i made associate at da a few years ago well the joy of that lasted about 4 or 5 months until i realized what it really meant to be an associate with da you still have to maintain the project workload that you had before but now you have to lead and or run initiatives meet with various staff members on a quarterly basis to discuss job satisfaction and conditions and see how things were going and attend a crapload more meetings great i clawed my way to middle management for this shit but something darker dare i use that term began to reveal itself in the big meeting room with all the partners and associates aka middle management and senior leadership i was excited to finally join this group and help da on its new path of thoughtful leadership and management and evolution into an awesome 21st century firm i was finally going to help make a difference i was finally able to see how decisions are made i was finally able to watch the interactions and the dynamics between members of senior leadership the partners and between the senior leadership and the middle managers associates and some senior architects and i was appalled with his unwarranted and unprovoked explosions at colleagues not paying attention to whoever is speaking or even flat out leaving the meeting before it was over bosley was a bully howie was a jittering pushy micromanaging bully audrey whom i once thought was a great role model for women in leadership positions turned out to act like a passive aggressive hypocritical micromanaging flake molly an associate partner whose arrival had also given me hope for da was simply put a fucking nightmare for my colleagues and me a master manipulator with poor listening skills and even poorer senses of boundaries and propriety she was bosley s syncophant for as long as it helped her get ahead and avoid blame for any project gone wrong other partners popped in and out of meetings to deliver their own flavor of seagull management fly in make a lot of noise crap on everything and then leave i would sit in the meetings and watch the other partners bulldoze over sven one of my favorite partners and patty an associate partner i had long worked with and admired sven would sit back quietly in his chair and patty would sigh and look down with her head in her hands after being shot down by bosley and howie yet again after my experience with the st ermahgerd project i vowed that this truly would never happen again as a somewhat leader at this firm i needed to make it work if not for me then for the others who weren t able to be in this room to defend their interests i decided to study how to make projects work better so i could show the partners and help them improve the firm s employee satisfaction and maybe even its bottom line too so with the help of a colleague with a great deal of experience setting up research projects and surveys i complete the first round of an in depth research project and presented it at a national conference where it was received with great enthusiasm and almost delight after i presented i lost count of the number of times someone said something to the effect of your firm is so smart and brave for doing this sort of self study yes i though...
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