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a fragrant and distinct flavour of rice called coconut rice the society enjoy the coconut rice any time of day from breakfast until dinner and it is usually accompanied by chicken or meat egg and fried shallots now you can taste the true indonesia coconut rice at coco rice we made our rice using traditional recipe which has been passed on for generations the rice is made fresh everyday to ensue the perfect taste just for you menu coco rice melbourne at first glance after reading the above i thought wtf but as i sat with my lunch in front of me at coco rice i realised the joys of the internet and the ability it has to provide instant translations services which i believe is how the above piece of advertising copy had come about had it been written by a copywriter under my supervision i would probably have sent them to work in despatch and provided some part time literacy training until such a time as they had mastered the local patois i had happened upon coco rice at lunchtime enroute to my favourite melbourne cbd precinct emanating from flinders lane into manchester lane degraves street and centre place in this buzzing hub i once had an office where journal canteen now is and some very dear friends live next door in bible house this intersection of laneways has been cultivating some very talented individuals and their businesses over the last ten years it is a mecca for the non franchised anti establishment kind of commercial enterprise in these lanes are tiny little businesses like a pocket full of scuffed brightly coloured old miniature toys they sit cheek by jowl nestled in impossible spaces making use of the lanes and discarded furniture for seating the miniscule eateries hug shops full of eclectic and eccentric attire arty acquisitions not to mention a frumpy shop stuffed to the gills with everything you could ever need for baking on the walls of one lane is spectacular stencil art and grafitti in another pocket is a regularly changing exhibition of backlit works of art this is my world this is how i refresh my mind in town this is where barry humphreys launched his retrospective exhibition with a fleet of dame edna look alikes waving gladioli this slice of melbourne s underbelly is what characterises my hometown for me it is what sets our city apart from other state capitals it reflects a strong force in the community who have the wherewithal to optimistically make something from nothing and to make it in a creative and quirky way that stimulates the passing trade however if there wasn t a slice of melbourne society with an artistic bent who seek to rail against the beigeness of keeping up with the jones in the antisocial and sprawling mc mansion suburbia it would never have survived to now be enjoyed by tourists whether foreign domestic or local this is also what once drew me to acland street st kilda as a teenager sadly the personality that comes with this kind of enterprise has now been driven out by cashed up franchised businesses the spirit of that precinct has been cannibalised by the kind of shops that service the masses businesses that have deluded themselves that the cachet of the area will rub off on them on moving in heaven forbid that this should ever happen to my downtown paradise but back on the subject of food this area is like striking a vein of gold in an old mine melbourne has great fine dining casual dining and even grazing venues but here you will find the quick and the cheap eats in abundance there is great coffee pastry snacks and breakfast to be had and there is the quick lunch coco rice is set up for the quick meal in a small narrow space in manchester lane it is one of the new shops in a spot alongside a space that once housed an x rated cinema but now sits mercurially alongside a jazz club jewellers and merchants of street wear i love a single minded idea and the concept behind this business is simple they combine indonesian curry and rice with the japanese notion of the bento box selection of rice and small savoury dishes served with a miniscule finisher of something sweet often fruit the food here is presented in a plastic bento container that can be topped with a lid for a takeaway or tucked into a purpose made wooden tray for in house munching the space is modern clean and efficient the galley kitchen sits on an upper level at the back i was their first customer of the day a diminutive asian girl was playing solitaire on the screen where orders are taken at their open frontage the tables alongside her looked like old trolleys their spindly legs are supported by small castors which run along a track inset in the blonde wood flooring their glass tops are underlaid with copies of the menu and a light box also show cases the offerings outside the menu consists of eight packages and one daily special the first three items are simple non spicy chicken beef fish options accompanied by a mound of coconut rice piled with shredded omelette then in other sections of the container sit a little sambal pickle or cucumber and their homemade chips which appear to be spicy crisps the remaining five items offer a range of asian dining favourites they do not come with omelette and crisps but are far more interesting on the whole you have the option to have steamed rice or coconut there is a sino indo fusion a jap indo fusion a javanese combo and an indo beef curry i went with the beef rendang which was a perfect dry style curry common to malaysia and indonesia my nostrils flared when greeted with the scent of coconut galangal and lemongrass chilli can be dialled up or down to order and as someone who loves spice i found the medium version quite fiery enough to have me reaching for a kleenex to mop my runny nose the coconut rice was piled high and unlike many others offered around town was not excessively gluey but perfectly cooked and subtly flavoured with it came some pickles cucumber and fruit priced at 9 50 the menu may have read like asian flier but it wasn t as cheap as sitting on a plastic stool by a hawker s cart somewhere in south east asia it was tasty and good value for melbourne though as i made my way across to flinders lane i felt light with pleasure my lips stinging from the chilli coco rice 10 manchester lane melbourne victoria ph 9654 0090 mon sat 11am 8pm 5 comments labels branding city food malaysian food melbourne dining melbourne food and wine melbourne restaurants opinion reviews snacks 30 december 2007 pet dining peeves urban dictionary com 8 annoying doing something or experiencing something at such a level that it becomes annoying like listening to too much ska or radiohead dear sir madam please desist said action because it s unbeleivably irritating if this request is not met within an adequate amount of time i will kill you with a rusty shovel i m forty one and grumpy mr stickyfingers is older and grumpier so it s inevitable that this blog is a place to vent i love to dine out and when it comes together well i am elated for days even weeks but when it goes wrong i can be jaded for months i ve worked in hospitality doing grunt work at the back of house and leg work at the pointy end each person has their role to fulfill and mostly it s straight forward compared to my life in the corporate world but why is it that in restaurants so often it doesn t come together well here are my dining gripes for 2007 feel free to chime in pet hates in dining menus gone global listing everything from pasta to nachos and oriental themed dishes none of it executed well too cheap to hire a chef they fast tracked the apprentice and the short order guy menus that are too wordy and list every thing every technique i don t need to know it all i ll taste it menus that read well but don t deliver in the execution you got someone else to write it for you spun some ideas to a consultant who doesn t actually cook there and your chef doesn t have the skill to match it bad spelling on menus you need the consultant to proof read your menu restaurant websites or pr that declares that there is a coeliac or vegetarian menu but they don t actually deliver on that promise ever seen a table for ten walk out without ordering restaurant websites that are not updated with current information get with the program people it s cheaper for most to surf online than buy food guides restaurants that don t confirm reservations or return calls we have no recollection of your booking wtf excessively elaborate combinations of flavours that overpower the produce too cheap to hire a chef they fast tracked the apprentice and the short order guy fusion cuisine where neither the occidental nor oriental has been mastered before splicing together ingredients from the opposite culture too cheap to hire a chef they fast tracked the apprentice and the short order guy poor culinary technical skills you want to be a celeb chef but couldn t be bothered getting the basic training so faked your resume celebrity chefs who are rarely in their own venues el segundo syndrome it may as well be your second s restaurant not yours paying for bread it s a basic thing clearing the bread before entrée arrives or even before the main bread is not a course and i may want some more to mop up that excellent sauce frozen butter in foil please explain tasteless olive oil for dipping thanks i ll dunk it in my wine instead having to ask for table water it s a basic thing paying for still water it s a basic thing poor service it s fundamental to your view of a venue rude service do you want to keep your clientele or do you think we re masochists argumentative service you re an equal opportunity employer who hires bi polars and people with advanced ms arrogant waitstaff no tip for you not writing down orders we know you re human odds on you ll mix up the order waitstaff asking who ordered which dish didn t anyone teach you about cover numbers dirty cutlery and lipstick stained glasses thanks but did i hear you say that bacteria was today s special dirty toilets my stomach turns at the thought torn and dirty staff uniforms if the front of house looks crap what s going on behind the scenes waitstaff leaning over you to reach something approach from the side i have no desire to smell your armpit waitstaff lacking relevant knowledge to their vocation and the menu they re serving is chef too inexperienced to brief front of house and hire trained people clearing plates before everyone has finished the course in a hurry to go on a break are we being told that we have to leave a restaurant by a certain time you ve cut it fine on turning the tables and now you expect me to tip you extortionate winelists are you trying to get me to drink spirits not having my wineglass topped up or having it over filled too cheap to hire a sommelier or train the troops loud music what did you say oh you ve lost your voice from shouting interiors that amplify sound what did you say oh you ve lost your voice from shouting too many seats for the size of the venue no pg i didn t order a side of butt cheek in my face either intimate lighting that requires the aid of the light on my phone to read the menu i ll just have the steak bumface and pomfriteroles bad timing of courses no order or discipline at the pass produce inferior to that which i can source myself feel cheated and may as well stay home commercial processed ingredients are you kidding you can t hide it by having good pr on your side the innate flavour of the produce killed by seasoning ok so you have to be more intelligent to cook simply but why smother a good thing anyway paper napkins in expensive establishments hire a laundry service you can claim it expensive wine served in cheap clunky stemware what a waste low banquettes that leave me resting my chin on the table i feel like a kid again seats so hard you get pins and needles in your posterior if i wanted to eat like the homeless i d sit outside on the pavement arctic airconditioning if i wanted to eat like the homeless i d sit outside on the pavement candle smoke from cheap candles it blocks my nose and gives me asthma overpriced grill restaurants serving cheap tasteless produce some cheap greeks ripped me off again pretentious venues that skimp on the portions often the case of style over substance for a skeletal clientele portions so large that it takes three diners to consume one meal next time we ll order one dish and share giant pepper mills the chaser said it all flaked salt in mini bowls with no utensil provided it s a hygiene thing waiters who ask is everything is ok when you have a gob full splutter spit hmm shake nod head food that has sat under the heat lamps or salamander too long and wilted or developed an unintentional skin or crust if i wanted more skin i d be dressed in mink return to sender hot serving plate cold ingredients equalling unintentionally wilted melted or scorched results wrong wrong wrong steak not cooked to order it s a basic thing well done meat tuna or salmon i beg you stop the massacre poor quality coffee and no decent barista i ll have the peppermint tea sugar sachets in expensive venues god is in the details guests who feel compelled to broadcast their lives to all others in the venue put a sock in it and go eat at one of those noisy places mobile phone yellers take it outside better still get that stupid thing surgically attached wanker passionate kissers what are you doing here take it outside better still get a room i m going to gag space invaders who feel the need to encroach on your seat or table are you trying to bust a move or are you just oblivious to everyone else eating outdoors surrounded by smokers you may have no palate but don t inflict it on me knives held like scalpels and not overhand as they should be mr sticky you included call ms manners i m a stickler for traditional dining etiquette parents who let their children roam unattended in venues teach them the joys of dining and involve them in the theatre of the venue people who need condiments gravy or tomato sauce on everything c mon maaaate people who eat the bread as though it were a course troglodytes diners who salt and pepper their food before tasting it the chef does have taste buds diners who complain that the meal served is too salty after doing the above go figure illegible bills in this day and age there s no excuse not to have an itemised docket diners who split hairs over the bill when dining as part of a group puh lease too rude i m sure i ve left half of them out what s your beef 6 comments labels dining pet peeves melbourne dining melbourne restaurants restaurant reviews reviews 08 november 2007 maggie beer s kitchen things that make my kitchen special by maggie beer my red gum chopping boards my rolling pin with ball bearings in the end my long marble bench my very old refrigerator 2 door stainless steel that was made obsolete from the pathology department at the university my coffee machine and coffee grinder my iron pot hanger my oscar food processor...
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