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description= Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing. Benjamin Franklin;
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ourselves from needless worry defensiveness and conflict 3 look for the good another way to say what i mentioned above about getting what we expect from other people is that we almost always find what we look for if you want to find some things about me that you don t like consider obnoxious or get on your nerves just look for them i m sure you ll come up with some on the flip side if you want to find some of my best qualities and things you appreciate about me just look for those they are there too as werner erhard said in every human being there is both garbage and gold it s up to us to choose what we pay attention to looking for the good in others as well as in life and in ourselves is one of the best ways to find things to appreciate and be grateful for and we remember that not everything is about us all the time 4 seek first to understand often when we re frustrated annoyed or in a conflict with another person or group of people we don t feel seen heard or understood as challenging and painful as this can be one of the best things we can do is to shift our attention from trying to get other people to understand us or being irritated that it seems like they don t is to seek to understand the other person or people involved in an authentic way this can be difficult especially when the situation or conflict is very personal and emotional to us however it is one of the best ways for us to liberate ourselves from the grip of criticism and judgment and often helps shift the dynamic of the entire thing being curious understanding and even empathetic of another person and their perspective or feelings doesn t mean being in agreement with them it simply allows us to get into their world and see where they re coming from which is essential to letting go of judgment connecting with them and ultimately resolving the conflict 5 be gentle with others and especially with yourself being gentle is the opposite of being critical when we re gentle we re compassionate kind and loving we may not like agree with or totally understand what someone has done or why but we can be gentle in how we approach it talk about it and engage with them being gentle isn t about condoning or appeasing anyone or anything it s about having a true sense of empathy and perspective and the most important place for us to bring a sense of gentleness is to ourselves many of us have a tendency to be super judgmental of ourselves sadly some of the harshest criticism we dole out in life is aimed right at us another great saying i love is we don t see people as they are we see them as we are as we alter how we relate to ourselves how we relate to everyone else and to the world around us is altered in a fundamental way as the dalai lama so brilliantly says if you want others to be happy practice compassion if you want to be happy practice compassion everyone around us our friends co workers significant other family members children service people clients and even the people we don t know or care for is doing the best they can given the resources they have when we remember this and come from a truly compassionate perspective with others and with ourselves we re able to tap into a deeper level of peace appreciation and fulfillment 40 712775 74 005973 share this share on pinterest opens in new window pinterest share on telegram opens in new window telegram share on whatsapp opens in new window whatsapp print opens in new window print more share on x opens in new window x share on linkedin opens in new window linkedin share on tumblr opens in new window tumblr email a link to a friend opens in new window email share on facebook opens in new window facebook share on reddit opens in new window reddit like loading featured posted on august 16 2018 august 19 2018 categories rising storm everyone s doing the best that they can uncategorized tags passion bebloggerofficial life meaning risingstorm how i stopped feeling trapped in a life i didn t want happiness is never found in materialistic things it exists in things that cannot be physically possessed therefore happiness is priceless it can never be purchased money can t buy you love it can t buy you happiness either today s materialistic world often urges us to buy the coolest gadgets the trendiest clothes bigger and better things but research shows that possessions and purchases don t buy us happiness so while we are being pushed towards materialism it s for monetary gain by corporations not for our own happiness unfortunately it s hard to escape the trap of materialism and find happiness in other ways than buying stuff online or finding joy in the mall but it s possible here s a guide to finding a materialism free life and discovering true happiness escaping materialism all around us there are messages telling us to buy stuff on the internet blogs included we see continuous advertising trying to get us to purchase a product or service it s the main reason for television and movies are continually made with products placed throughout so that we aren t always sure what is advertising and what was put in there by the director flip on the radio or open up a newspaper or magazine and you re bombarded my more advertising go to a shopping center mall and the urge to buy comes from every direction this message to continually buy buy buy and that it will somehow make us happpier is drilled into our heads from the days of happy meals and cartoons until the day we die it s inescapable well almost you could go and live in a cabin in the woods and that actually sounds nice or you could still live in our modern society but find ways to escape materialism here are some suggestions limit television do you really enjoy watching tv for hours think about which shows you really really love and only watch during that time when the commercials come on go do something else or use tivo to watch tv you can even give up cable tv entirely if you re brave i have and it s one of the best things i ve ever done eschew the news journalists will never tell you this but if they re completely honest they ll confess that the most important part of any news company from tv or radio news to internet or print new is the advertising division it s the division that pays the paychecks of the rest of the company the news is important in driving traffic to the advertising so when you re watching or reading news you re really being sucked in to advertising try this instead boycott the news for a week i ve done it for about two years and it hasn t hurt me a bit in fact it s helped me a lot limit internet reading i m not saying you should cancel your cable internet subscription or anything i love reading blogs but find just those that you truly love reading that give you the most value and limit your reading to those and just do it once a day for 30 minutes or so if you can do that you ve gone a long way towards tearing yourself away from advertising give up magazines for books magazines are also designed with advertising in mind and they rarely give you much value try reading an ad free book instead it s a much better use of your time don t go to the mall or walmart the only purpose of these places is for you to spend money if you just want a place to spend your saturday afternoon find a place where you don t need to spend money to have fun a park or a beach for example if you need to buy something go to a single store not the mall and go in and get what you need don t browse and walk around looking at stuff you ll get sucked in monitor your urges when you re online or watching tv or at a store keep track of the number of times you want to buy something keep a little notebook or index card and just put tally marks once you become more aware of your urges to buy things you can start to control them if you could control them limiting your consumption of media see above tips isn t really necessary although i would argue that it still gives you a better quality of life use a 30 day list if you still really want to buy something put it on a list and write down the date you added the item to the list now tell yourself you cannot buy that item for 30 days it might be difficult but you can do it when the 30 days have passed if you still want it then buy it but you can t buy anything besides essentials like groceries without putting it on the list for 30 days first many times our urges to buy something will pass during this waiting period declutter i find it pretty amazing to see all the crap i buy over a period of years when i go through my closets and other possessions and start getting rid of stuff i don t use or want anymore it s a gratifying process and at the same time it makes me realize how useless all our consumer shopping is i don t need any of the stuff when you do this you may be less likely to buy more stuff especially if you enjoy the decluttered look of your house as much as i do find other forms of entertainment there are other things to do besides watch tv or movies or read magazines or newspapers or the internet try playing sports or exercising or playing board games or creating art or writing or reading a book try doing fun things with your kids or visiting relatives and other loved ones try volunteering with a charity i m sure you could come up with 100 free or cheap things to do buy used when you get the urge to buy something and you re convinced that it s needed try finding it used instead of new look in thrift shops or garage sales or flea markets or similar places a true path to happiness so if you re able to escape materialism how can you find true happiness there are many ways and each of us is different but here are some things i suggest trying grateful list make a list of things about which you re grateful in your life give thanks for them daily think positive try eliminating negative thinking from your life and thinking positive instead small pleasures make a list of small things that give you great pleasure sprinkle them throughout your day notice other small pleasures as you go through your day kindness practice random acts of kindness and compassion do it anonymously help those in need volunteer make someone smile love make an intimate connection with your loved ones develop your friendships spend time with them converse understand them make them happy health exercise and eat healthy it sounds trite but it can bring great happiness to your life meaning it s often useful to find meaning either through a church or spiritual way or through those we love in life or through the things we re passionate about give yourself a purpose flow eliminate distractions and really pour yourself into whatever you re doing if it s writing an article like this one really put yourself into it until you forget the outside world know yourself become attuned to what brings you happiness study yourself learn about what you love and about your ability to love increase your capacity for compassion 40 712775 74 005973 share this share on pinterest opens in new window pinterest share on telegram opens in new window telegram share on whatsapp opens in new window whatsapp print opens in new window print more share on x opens in new window x share on linkedin opens in new window linkedin share on tumblr opens in new window tumblr email a link to a friend opens in new window email share on facebook opens in new window facebook share on reddit opens in new window reddit like loading featured posted on august 15 2018 categories how i stopped feeling trapped in a life i didn t want uncategorized tags inspiration bebloggerofficial facts life limitation materialistic truth 11 comments on how i stopped feeling trapped in a life i didn t want banish your guilt demons i feel like i don t deserve to be here because i let everyone down i just want to slink into a corner and keep my eyes on the floor or maybe just quit and go home i even feel guilty about feeling guilty for many of us guilt is like a certain kind of old friend someone whom we willingly let in the door and then can t kick out guilt shows up when we act in a way that doesn t sync with our goals and values whether procrastinating or breaking a promise or taking credit for someone else s work at its best guilt acts like a moral compass prompting us to reflect on what we re doing or not doing and then make constructive change but when guilt settles in for the long haul serving up daily helpings of blame and shame without adding anything constructive to the mix we find ourselves living with a parasite guilt shadows the good things in our lives it whittles down our energy and self worth that s when we begin cheating ourselves of our personal dreams and needs we make a habit of putting ourselves second feeding our guilt and starving our self esteem making it harder and harder to be our fullest brightest most creative selves there are three common forms of guilt that can rob us from living fully if we let it instead let s kick out the guilt rather than repeatedly kick ourselves here are some ways to start the guilty pleasure paradox guilt free is a phrase that gets tossed around a lot guilt free tv guilt free desserts guilt free shopping it seems that wherever there s pleasure involved there s guilt to be had we often don t allow ourselves to do what we want because we believe we haven t earned it and even when we do say yes that guilty little voice in our heads spoils the fun of a nightcap at the close of a hard day or that beach getaway with friends ironically research shows that guilt is a pretty ineffective way to control behavior in a 2013 study published in appetite psychologists found that people who linked chocolate cake with guilt rather than with celebration had more trouble losing and maintaining weight instead of acting as a positive motivating force guilt actually leads to feelings of helplessness and lack of control while it s healthy to have rules for responsible behavior a glass of wine with dinner is one thing a bottle of wine is another unrealistic expectations of never ever indulging set you up for failure and a dull life try these tips 1 let go of borrowed beliefs if you feel that something you want to do is undeserved ask yourself who said so does society say that it s wrong your mom your childhood baseball coach then ask yourself what you believe and respect your own judgment 2 calculate the consequences what s the fallout if you indulge and what can you do to mitigate it for example if the consequence of ordering dessert is falling off your diet wagon how can you counterbalance it a morning trip to the gym perhaps although you probably don t want to make this a habit the trap of a guilty conscience a guilty conscience can be your personal alcatraz rocky labyrinthine and impossible to escape but punishing yourself with thoughts of what a terrible person you are doesn t help you make amends for that terrible or perhaps not so terrible thing you did instead it makes you self absorbed and self protect...
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