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click here to read the third revision click here to read the fourth revision click here to read the synopsis the crucible of silver is a middle grade and up talking animal story completed at 70 000 words nobody cares if silver squirrel lives or dies but he s got a heart and a broken one at that he s lost his home and loved ones now he has to join the squirrel community and their chaotic dance of behavior if he wants to survive a hawk has her eye on him and some hungry ermine are on the hunt as well things would be terribly bleak if it wasn t for his friends the crows who make their own special kind of chaos and of course sandy brown a squirrel female he s taken a liking to sandy s mother is one of the squirrel leaders the very ones who burned down his home in a planned controlled burn so things are pretty complicated squirrel mating rituals can get a little hairy too silver finds that out when sandy dumps him in a fit of spring fever but silver won t give up he s determined to win sandy as his own and to save the community from predation and forgive the ones who hurt him so badly his plan is doomed to disaster but that s the way silver s life is the hawk plans on teaching her mate a lesson and silver is the pawn in the game posted by rick daley at 6 18 am 10 comments labels middle grade nov 14 2010 the end begins 7th revision click here to read the original query click here to read the first revision click here to read the second revision click here to read the third revision click here to read the fourth revision click here to read the fifth revision click here to read the sixth revision the magic academy of the nine was the promising stage for the next evolution of man for raiana okard an under appreciated academic she could feel the change when she surpassed everyone s expectations and became a spokeswoman for her community but her confidence in the world she knew was shattered when she discovers her people are being harvested for the power giving crystals in their bodies just before she succumbs to the same fate the price for her snooping she escapes to the united states targeted as a threat to her oppressors the coalition rai trades her services to a military union for protection whose might is a derivative of her own power melding human flesh to supercharged quartz on the turn of a dime shaky peace will become undeniable war and the union wants to shake the enemies grasp on stolen resources before that happens with no choice but to follow their orders rai plunges headlong into treacherous territory to take over and protect a fort of vital resources rai s will to survive is constantly tested as fatigue sets in she feels the eyes of her enemies everywhere but must remain vigilant in adapting to their offenses while the union gains momentum rai s loyalty waivers once she realizes her decisions could inadvertently bring about her community s destruction the end begins at 90 000 words is my first science fiction novel posted by rick daley at 12 08 pm 6 comments labels science fiction nov 8 2010 contest win a query critique attention slushpile followers would you like your query critiqued by a professional editor lynnette labelle is offering to do just that check out this post on her blog for details the deadline for submissions is friday november 12 for more information on lynette s editing services check out her website posted by rick daley at 7 00 pm 2 comments labels contest thank you nathan bransford for those of you trapped under rocks or otherwise cut off from the world s most pressing news nathan bransford announced last week that he will be leaving the world of agenting to take a position in social media for cnet i launched this blog on march 6 2009 according to google analytics there were 30 visits that day i was elated on thursday the 12th when the site had 56 visitors and the next day nathan bransford mentioned the public query slushpile on his blog the site had 473 visits that day that invaluable boost gave the slushpile the momentum it needed giving us all queries to read and attracting many talented people to share their feedback through the comments nathan has been kind to many of us offering encouragement advice and general sanity through his blog i ve even emailed him several one off questions and he answered every one usually the same day i emailed him i would almost expect nathan to save the world if he wasn t busy breaking the universe with a cosmic space ka pow good luck nathan thanks for all your support anyone seen 127 hours i bet even that guy knows posted by rick daley at 4 26 pm 4 comments labels nathan bransford nov 7 2010 query all because of you third revision click here to read the original query click here to read the first revision click here to read the second revision dear awesome future agent forced to kill for sport until the age of sixteen adelaide banvard has been kept at the side of christian wren one of the most powerful men in los angeles and the man she feels indebted to for saving her life for ten years she s been dedicated to his cause the schizophrenic monster in her head enjoying every moment of pain delivered and every drop of blood on her hands but adelaide finally has the chance to escape this existence of violence eager to live a life of her own her opportunity comes in the form of atf agent marcus grant a man whose assignment is to apprehend wren the suspected leader behind one of the largest gunrunning operations california has ever seen adelaide s loyalties are tested at every turn as she fights her way out of wren s organization and tries to conceal the attraction she feels for the atf agent who wants her for murder all because of you is an 85 000 word suspense i have a degree from utah valley university in the field of psychology owning accurate knowledge on the subject of schizophrenia and would be glad to send you my complete manuscript for your review thank you for your time and consideration and i look forward to hearing from you soon posted by rick daley at 10 37 am 4 comments labels suspense nov 4 2010 query the chloe chronicles and the rebirth dear agent if only chloe carmichael had known of her powers sooner she might have had time to mentally prepare for the chaos that would soon ensue chloe is a 16 year old student at whitney young high school she s popular she s attractive her parents are rich and she truly believes she s going insane the chloe chronicles and the rebirth is complete at 74 000 words and is young adult science fiction chloe s life begins to unravel as a series of unexplained occurrences take place her boyfriend dies a ghastly death which she saw prior to it occurring she begins to hear voices see people that don t exist and objects mysteriously begin to move when she is angry these things transpire as she attempts to cope with her deteriorating relationship with her mother which only proves to further confuse her christopher thomas a new student insists things aren t as they seem in her perfectly created world chloe is faced with an unfathomable choice join chris and his friends as super humans or remain in her sheltered monotonous life the only complication she may lose who she is to become who she always was i joined the military immediately after high school and because of this have no shortage of characters to choose from when i write i am a paralegal a wife and a mother to three beautiful children the entire novel or partial can be sent at your request thank you for your time and consideration posted by rick daley at 5 30 pm 6 comments labels science fiction young adult query the end begins sixth revision click here to read the original query click here to read the first revision click here to read the second revision click here to read the third revision click here to read the fourth revision click here to read the fifth revision raiana draco thought the nine was an academy created for the expressed purpose of training its students of the magically inclined she never would have thought that her father long gone from her life was responsible for merging human flesh with a synthetic crystal to produce their magnificent power on top of that then made a permanent trading agreement their people for protection from the outside world with the truth discovered she escapes to the united states hunted by the academy in a world nearly devoid of magic she survives by soliciting her services to a military alliance that wage a secret war against her people s oppressor the end begins is a 90 000 science fiction novel that follows rai s travels as fatigue persecution and traitorous minds pushes her limits as her people die from the crystal extraction process that only her father has the answers to stop posted by rick daley at 9 02 am 3 comments labels science fiction nov 3 2010 query cinder clouds click here to read the original query originally titled the chronicles of christmas a research team drilling ice cores at the north pole finds something amazing buried deep in the ice a book that tells the origins of santa claus jason didn t come to the north pole with his father to learn about global warming he just wants to see santa claus after weeks surrounded by nothing but a few stuffy scientists and a whole lot of cold jason loses faith but when an ice core comes back with a book embedded in it a book that proves the existence of santa they face a tough decision keep the book and get rich or find a way to return the book to its rightful owner the book tells the tale of kris kringle born human but abandoned as a baby kris is raised by the elfs of the woodland glen even though contact with humans goes against eons of elfin law kris is desperate to find his real family when a lead points him to the town of oldenton kris convinces the high council to allow him to search for his family by delivering a present to each child in oldenton on christmas day as long as no human sees him but there s a catch kris and any elf who helps him must leave the glen immediately the high council is convinced that humans are greedy destructive creatures and unless kris can bring back proof that human virtue exists neither he nor the elfs who join him will be allowed to return bound by a stringent set of rules kris and two dozen elfs set off for the legendary great northern glen to set up base camp for their operation when christmas day arrives kris known as the man in the cinder clouds after an accident involving a chimney learns his true family has been with him his entire life and he proves that human virtue does exist even in the most unexpected of human hearts cinder clouds is a 34 500 word middle grade novel written for anyone who has ever believed in santa claus this story within a story explains everything from the origins of santa s white hair and red suit to his ability to fit all those presents in one sack a note on style the book was written by an elf elfs always capitalize the e and never convert the f to a v that s a human thing thank you for your time and consideration posted by rick daley at 5 00 pm 9 comments labels middle grade washed ya paranormal dear agent eighteen year old luke tremaine isn t claiming he s an angel in fact he s far from it but he never thought he was really bad like going to the underworld forever kind of bad see according to karma a freaky supernatural entity luke s on his hundredth reincarnated life and it seems that his trademark couldn t care less attitude has been a constant in every one of those past lives bottom line he s got a lot of making up to do with the souls he s messed with over the years or what karma calls getting washed as far as luke s concerned the whole washed plan has epic fail written all over it seriously how s he going to find all his so called jobs since news flash he has no idea who they are and even if he does how s he supposed to fix up with them he s not exactly a giving kind of guy but when moveora karma s gnarly evil twin shows a vested interest in luke doing his job the whole game plan changes suddenly it s not just his neck on the line because moveora s got luke s best friend daria in her claws and if luke knows what s good for him he ll follow the washed plan to the tee otherwise daria will be the one paying for his mistakes washed is young adult paranormal complete at about 68 000 i can be reached at the address provided thank you for your time and consideration and i look forward to hearing from you thanks so much any comments will be appreciated d posted by rick daley at 11 37 am 8 comments labels paranormal young adult oct 28 2010 query dagger first revision click here to read the original query thirteen year old nathan dagger must transform himself from a chubby video gaming geek into a strong and fearless warrior opal the omni psychic assassin league believes nathan has a powerful remote viewing gift locking onto their ruthless enemy zafaar and challenging him to a psychic battle is the mission assigned to him the problem is there is no getting out of this fight to the death an elaborate plan of deception is set in place to test and train nathan he is tried physically and mentally for ten agonizing weeks using military drills and psychological tactics designed to push him to his breaking point and test his morals throughout his trials and radical metamorphosis from a weakling into a fierce soldier nathan must discover the awesome power and the terrible curse of his hidden gifts only then can he enter the mysterious world of opal where advanced technology is merged with psychic abilities to fight evil deep underground in opal s command center nathan is told the shocking news about zafaar he was an agent of opal but turned traitor when he got denied leadership of the mind control program now he commands a radical organization with a dark ideology his goal purify the earth of anyone weak or unwilling to serve him cloaking his mind from opal is the key to zafaar s success underestimating nathan as a lethal enemy is the biggest mistake he can make dagger is an 86 000 word paranormal young adult novel thank you for your consideration posted by rick daley at 7 06 am 3 comments labels paranormal young adult oct 26 2010 the end begins fifth revision click here to read the original query click here to read the first revision click here to read the second revision click here to read the third revision click here to read the fourth revision dear agent of my dreams out of a closed community of the magic academy of the nine the newest evolution of man proceeds but raiana draco one of their top students discovered its plot to use students as a means to power a warring nations fleet her punishment she s signed up to be made into a battery but thanks to the loving instructor she escaped into a fractured united states hunted by the academy and its ally the coalition of united territories in a world nearly devoid of magic she must survive a science driven society by soliciting her services to a military ...
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