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essed revised click here to read the original query hello again i am ready to submit the second draft of my query letter for possessed thanks for all your help dear agent so and so after fighting in the napoleonic wars for two years battle hungry gabriel is now stuck at home with a father forbids him to return to sea his anger evaporates when he hears voices in a dark room filled with locked cabinets the strong pull that gabriel feels from that room is interrupted when his family s estate is burned to the ground with his parents trapped inside gabriel flees to a nearby forest where he fights a seemingly invincible ghostlike pursuer just as strange the day suddenly darkens to a starless night gabriel thinks he s gone insane but he awakens in a bright room filled with people wearing long white coats they tell him that he volunteered at the white horizon research facility for a classified potential breakthrough study two weeks ago he has no recollection of signing up for the study and listens as the scientists tell him about his failures as gabriel s hazy memory returns he realizes that he is a murderer trying to escape from his past the angry voices of those he killed five years ago have been plaguing him since that fateful day to make matters worse the paranoid medical staff debate on whether or not to euthanize the study s volunteers while an armed maniac will not rest until she kills gabriel he ll have to find a way to stay alive without reverting to his murderous ways possessed is a supernatural thriller that contains a final word count of 56 000 words thank you for taking the time to review my work sincerely sara flower kjeldsen posted by rick daley at 5 00 pm 9 comments labels supernatural thriller query blood ruby obsession dear public query slushpile one would think that every princess is born with a ready made fairytale life complete with a happy ever after ending but clearly that isn t the case for why then does seventeen year old princess maia s life turn out to be so disagreeable with her own desires if a princess life were to be perfect then why did her father arrange for her to marry the prince of pelear without her consent and as though life couldn t possibly get any worse for princess maia her father is demanding for her immediate departure to pelear enraged confused and hurt princess maia is sure that her father s reason for sending her to pelear is to finalize her marriage to prince sealtiel pelear s prince however just before she leaves her kingdom her father reveals the true cause for her unplanned journey she needs prince sealtiel s protection he informs her that an unidentified adversary is attacking citrine and is after the blood ruby their most prized treasure as the keeper of the blood ruby it is princess maia s duty to keep it protected at all times or else citrine s entire civilization will cease to exist when princess maia successfully slips into the dangerous mystical forest of memron the only safe path to pelear she breathes a sigh of relief but she soon learns that letting her guard down inside the mystical forest of memron is a reckless move when she is faced with a perilous situation that almost ends her life lucky for her a renegade warrior from pelear named ralph who has been hiding inside the forest saves her just in time ralph becomes her protector though he seems to loathe his task but as they journey deeper into the forest ralph confesses that his loathing has turned to love princess maia is aware that a relationship with ralph is forbidden as she is engaged to his prince however she finds herself incapable of warding off his affections for she feels the same way about him princess maia s love for ralph and her duty to her citizens conflicts her knowing that to acknowledge one is an instant rejection of the other but as though fate wanted her life to be more complicated she learns about ralph s secret which makes her question the sincerity of his love her mistrust for ralph makes her act carelessly her tactless action lands her straight into the arms of the mysterious enemy she has been trying to elude princess maia is captured and taken to scapia where she encounters malvar the man responsible for attacking her kingdom though a skilled warrior herself princess maia is powerless against malvar whose obsession for the blood ruby has driven him mad her only chance of escape is dependent upon the man she had doubted will ralph become her avenging knight and save her once more or had her mistrust for him robbed her life of a happy ever after ending the blood ruby obsession is my first novel this ya fantasy is complete at 108 000 words i would be glad to send you my full manuscript upon request thank you for your time sincerely freeverse posted by rick daley at 12 00 pm 5 comments labels fantasy young adult query squirt dear agent dogs and cats were never meant to be friends but that didn t stop squirt and aubie they didn t know nor did they care squirt is a coal black wild haired puppy and aubie is an orange and white c a t they are best friends and out to enjoy their world in this volume squirt and aubie join together with taylor their twelve year old caretaker who just happens to be a ballerina for the twirl of a lifetime with matching tutus they spin round and round twirling and leaping just like professional ballerinas as the music is ending they nail their last pose and the audience is up applauding for more in rhymed couplets squirt is complete at 409 words targeting an audience of 2 through 9 year olds although this is my first picture book manuscript i am a member of scbwi my inspiration comes straight out of the texture of my life as a kindergarten teacher owner of my own business and mother of a ballerina this and three other squirt stories are fully finished while the fifth is nearing completion per your instructions i am including whatever they ask this is a simultaneous submission thank you for your time and consideration sincerely this is my manuscript i didn t double space due to length here but i will when i submit thank you in advance for all your help squirt my name is squirt i m as black as night with long wavy hair that shoots left and right my eyes are brown and my tongue is pink with a small black dot that s kinda cute i think my best friend is aubie he isn t like me orange and white striped and spelled c a t he s very bouncy even sneaky at times with eyes that are green a pretty green almost lime we are a very odd couple everyone agrees but we re exactly the same size and love macaroni and cheese aubie and i we love to play we play outside almost everyday we run and jump roll and twirl we hop and skip tumble and whirl in the afternoon when taylor s work is done she walks us around the block oh what fun taylor is my mommy she ll be twelve soon she feeds me loves me and reads me cartoons her favorite is ballet i love it too what do you think of our matching tutus all dressed up we perform a show round and round like ballerinas on their toes our bodies very straight toes pointed to the side our arms out in front and remember now glide we move left and right across the stage we go we try to look graceful all together in a row twirling and leaping on our feet and then our toes and as the music slows down we do our last pose the shows over now we bow and then smile the audience is standing up applauding in the aisles our family brings us flowers isn t that sweet a treat for us being so light on our feet now what to do any thoughts in mind what games do you like what s your favorite kind we love to play dolls to skate and ride bikes playing with trucks reading books and going on hikes there s so much to do the days are so short i guess we ll have to wait no time to build a fort it s getting dark outside and night time is coming all of a sudden my tummy is rumbling supper time is here we love to eat we clean our plate so we can get a treat after we ve eaten its time to go to bed but all of today s fun is swimming in my head i can t wait till tomorrow what will we do will we play chase and swim or maybe go to the zoo posted by rick daley at 8 00 am 1 comment labels picture book newer posts older posts home subscribe to posts atom submit queries here submit queries here query and writing resources agentquery com genre descriptions agentquery com how to write a query colleen lindsay word counts and novel length critiquing critiques editorial anonymous tips on your bio janet reid effective query class janet reid how to make sure your query is instantly rejected janet reid what to do when an agent says no jessica faust slushpile agent interview jessica faust publishing dictionary nathan bransford ten commandments for the happy writer nathan bransford the anatomy of a good query letter i nathan bransford the anatomy of a good query letter ii nathan bransford the basic query letter formula nathan bransford writing advice database query shark labels adult fantasy 1 adventure 9 agent advice 4 agent interview 2 agent request 1 award 1 book release 1 book review 1 chapter book 2 chick lit 3 children s 9 christian fiction 16 christmas 1 cinder clouds 1 comedy 1 coming of age 1 commercial fiction 20 contemporary 1 contemporary romance 1 contest 10 cozy mystery 1 crime 11 cyberpunk 1 dark fantasy 1 dystopian fiction 2 epic fantasy 18 erotic 1 experiment 1 family drama 2 family saga 1 fantasy 154 faq 26 fiction novel 1 first person shooter punk 1 fps punk 1 fun 1 gay lesbian 6 general advice 5 general fiction 1 guess the genre 39 historical fiction 19 historical fantasy 1 horror 13 humor 5 ladlit 3 links 2 literary fiction 27 medical 2 medieval 3 memoir 4 middle grade 42 multicultural 1 mystery 23 mythology 1 narrative 1 nathan bransford 2 new age 2 non fiction 5 novella 11 paranormal 69 picture book 11 psychological 2 query me this 11 quirky 1 romance 77 romantic suspense 1 sample pages 25 satire 1 science 1 science fiction 44 short story 3 show and no tell 6 slipstream fiction 3 spiritual 1 steampunk 5 submission guidelines 9 successful query 8 supernatural 12 suspense 23 synopsis 5 the literary lab 3 thriller 55 upmarket fiction 1 urban fantasy 51 western 2 women s fiction 45 writing contest 5 writing tips 2 young adult 197 blog archive 2015 1 december 1 dec 06 1 2013 4 may 1 may 29 1 march 3 mar 30 1 mar 18 2 2012 22 december 1 dec 14 1 november 2 nov 15 1 nov 12 1 august 2 aug 10 1 aug 07 1 july 1 jul 31 1 june 1 jun 10 1 may 4 may 22 1 may 11 1 may 10 1 may 01 1 april 1 apr 27 1 march 1 mar 30 1 february 3 feb 27 1 feb 26 1 feb 10 1 january 6 jan 31 2 jan 17 1 jan 10 1 jan 08 1 jan 01 1 2011 106 december 4 dec 31 1 dec 15 1 dec 14 1 dec 06 1 october 4 oct 25 2 oct 11 1 oct 03 1 september 6 sep 30 1 sep 28 1 sep 27 1 sep 25 1 sep 12 1 sep 05 1 august 5 aug 17 1 aug 09 1 aug 07 1 aug 04 1 aug 01 1 july 13 jul 27 1 jul 26 1 jul 25 1 jul 24 1 jul 22 1 jul 20 1 jul 19 1 jul 18 4 jul 14 1 jul 13 1 june 9 jun 27 1 jun 25 1 jun 20 1 jun 16 1 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