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description=People say I love you all the time, my dear--when they say, Take an umbrella, it s raining, or, Hurry back! or even, Watch out, you ll break your neck. [Maggie 31 USA She/her] On Ao3 at...;
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take an umbrella it s raining ℤ zeldathemes take an umbrella it s raining people say i love you all the time my dear when they say take an umbrella it s raining or hurry back or even watch out you ll break your neck maggie 31 usa she her on ao3 at users lavenderprose i ii iii iv my ao3 my fic archive hello would you mind expanding on your shane thrives in grroups of large men tag bc i would like to hear more if you re willing anonymous okay so i m gonna try to put this into words but i also need you to bear with me because it s gonna sound a bit wild at first shane hollander is a pick me stop throwing tomatoes hear me out yes i know pick me is a loaded term i ve known a couple of pick mes and they were actually really lovely girls who had been so conditioned to behave only in the most male attention oriented ways that it literally broke them yes i know this is not the universal experience but honestly i think it s more common than anybody realizes we live in a society etc etc so enter shane hollander who grew up in locker rooms he has spent most of his life courting and thriving on male attention purely by necessity if you want to do well at sport you need to perform at a level that catches the attention of your male coaches and your male teammates and your male rivals on the opposing team as a gay man this almost definitely crossed some wires for him he wants every man in that room to want to be him he wants every man in that room to want him sickly and carnally and some of this is latent and internalized to hell while some of it he is painfully aware of most notably when he is jerking off and allows himself to think about kneeling in a room full of men who are all fighting over who gets to fuck him first i mean you get the point so yeah shane thrives in groups of men he s their guy he s their good hockey boy the inherent assumed heterosexuality of the spaces he orbits in allow him to flirt kind of wildly with some of these guys and nobody is any the wiser because these highly masculine spaces are also paradoxically highly homoerotic to the point where male bonding is valued highest above almost any other relationship one can have and shane who is actually gay and genuinely does want that attention even latently is very good at male bonding read flirting you ll look great in silver vaughny see you in october wink crucially shane doesn t really realize that he s doing any of this it s probably part of how ilya clocks his shit the way shane behaved around him at the ccm shoot is probably not all that different from how shane approached other men in his social sphere who he wanted to impress or to be impressed by him but ilya who is enlightened to those tactics by being actually queer sees it for what it is the other major key factor in shane s ability to thrive in rooms full of men is that he very early on becomes an object of envy for these guys he s hockey jesus he s a generational talent honestly some of these guys probably would like to fuck shane hollander if they had it in writing that it didn t make them gay no way doesn t count if it s shane hollander that s basically the same as putting your dick in hockey itself and yeah maybe that s also something that shane has fantasies about then again the pick me analogy isn t perfect because shane actually is in a position to be coveted by the people whose attention he craves just not in any way that is actually accessible to him and not in any way that he would actually admit to himself he wants again this is part of the reason why his relationship with ilya goes down the way it does part of shane knows that he is ilya rozanov s perfect little slut and that ilya does not know how to quit him at some point years down the line shane will actually be able to admit this to himself and it will make him a slightly worse version of himself but only in ways that make ilya that much more insane about him 1905 notes 8 52 pm reblog maggie answers heated rivalry shane hollander i actually think that ilya is a great defensive driver his cars are expensive and they are his babies of course he s gonna keep them safe yeah maybe he s flooring it a bit on the country back roads on the way to the cottage on the first day of summer but those roads are flat and straight and lightly trafficked even shane gets a little grin on his face when ilya taps the gas just a touch too fast and puts a hand on shane s knee and puts the other at twelve on the wheel shane s my manism is never so thoroughly indulged 626 notes 8 58 pm reblog shane is also a very good driver but he gets a bit scary in city traffic the first time he had to execute a michigan left turn ilya genuinely thought they were going to get divorced what do you mean i have to turn right and cross four lanes of traffic to turn left fuck shane i don t know i didn t design the fucking thing heated rivalry shane hollander ilya rozanov hollanov prayer circle for shane hollander to drop some sort of heinous diss on the detroit team in season 2 and cast his little interdimensional magical spell like the one he did on buffalo 59 notes 6 42 pm reblog heated rivalry he is literally the patron saint of oh yeah well take this fixielixie ilya likes sucking shane s dick bc he likes being in control of shane s pleasure shane likes sucking ilya s dick bc ilya can use him for his own pleasure via source 427 notes 5 46 pm reblog precisely me and the throat goat ilya truthers can coexist slaps a coexist bumper sticker on my blog only the t is a dick heated rivalry grmh via source 547 notes 5 45 pm reblog lmao after the fucking restroom at monk s i know this is in character for ilya let s pee together rozanov shane wishes that ilya had cruised him at the urinal so that he could watch who said that cw piss for my nony who asked sorry for party rocking okay i actually do think i m going to start blocking people for the sin of bothering me i m done being bothered 52 notes 5 42 pm reblog i ve spent a lot of time trying not to be this way but i ve just realized that i don t know why also please know that you are not bothering me if you are being nice or asking a question about a wip or something like that unless the question is when will there be more when is it being published because i do reserve the right to be bothered by those i may not always respond to asks but that s because i have a job and chronically low on energy not because i m bothered maggie talks another wife conversation in case you care me oh good the gas company is digging holes again zoe well it s fun you ever tried digging a hole me ugh yeah i wish i was digging a hole right now hey did you know the deepest hole in the world zoe that s your guy right me what zoe yeah shane he s the deepest hole in the me stop 100 notes 4 38 pm reblog maggie talks someone tell her that this is serious and she needs to stop being clever i would like the people in the comments of that post telling me that the slaps were so so gentle and shane didn t even have a concussion anymore to tell me exactly how many nice gentle sex slaps they would let someone give them after a grade 3 concussion and i would like for them to tell me how the thesis of shane trusts ilya so much that he lets him open palm hit him on the face is in any way invalidated by the fact that he d exited concussion protocol like do the poor like it when you piss on them 91 notes 9 19 pm reblog maggie talks i mean they can t tell me because i blocked them lmao for what it s worth shane s concussion was at least a stage 3 given his loss of consciousness symptoms of a grade 3 concussion can persist for months and he said the headaches were better not gone i know it s semantics but still still he s literally talking about the concussion when ilya hits him i don t know what else to say thought 1 i hope those two men hurt each other during sex thought 2 ooh i just remembered the ice machine at work has crushed ice now this is going to add new levels to my emotional support ice water thought 3 what s my wife doing right now thought 4 vivid snippet of a sex scene i have been trying to write for three days thought 5 i m scared of the oil change man thought 6 and i love vermont but it s the season of the sticks 84 notes 7 53 pm reblog maggie talks all of these thoughts within seconds of each other btw so am i late to the party or have we all noticed that ilya is slapping shane around during phone call blow job literally as shane is talking about the concussion he s still recovering from literally just letting him do what ever he wants oh my god the level of trust the level of intimacy it takes to let someone play with your body that way shane said no and ilya said actually i think you want it and then he did exactly what he ilya wanted with shane s body and shane let him because shane wants what ilya wants the control the exchange of power shane says yeah the headaches are better and his boyfriend slaps him in the face on the same side he got the concussion and he comes five seconds later ️ 953 notes 7 12 pm reblog heated rivalry shane hollander ilya rozanov hollanov the absolute submission of letting someone else do what they want with your body the high of surrendering all worries about your own livelihood and placing it in someone else s hands and knowing that they will find each of your limits and press on them so nicely and they re rivals ilya could destroy him and the only thing keeping him from doing so because he s seen shane s soft underbelly in a way that literally nobody else has is the tremendous amount of love and respect that they have built between them by doing shit like this in secret for yearsssss literally it is no wonder that people are insane about them and a lot of people don t even comprehend that they have this level of sauce they just like the enemies to lovers i stand by the reading that they re not enemies to lovers especially in the show but that s not what this post is about i actually cannot deal with seeing new photos every day of my life every day i get off work and i open this webbed site and i see them i am trying so hard to be regular i swear it s just that they re making more and i haven t been in a fandom where they are actively making more of it since i was sixteen so i ve never had to feel these emotions and simultaneously be an adult i m normal 111 notes 3 11 pm reblog maggie talks heated rivalry
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