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description=People say I love you all the time, my dear--when they say, Take an umbrella, it s raining, or, Hurry back! or even, Watch out, you ll break your neck. [Maggie 30 USA She/her] On Ao3 at...;
keywords=maggie talks,maggie answers,heated rivalry,shane hollander,ilya rozanov;

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Text of the page (random words):
take an umbrella it s raining ℤ zeldathemes take an umbrella it s raining people say i love you all the time my dear when they say take an umbrella it s raining or hurry back or even watch out you ll break your neck maggie 30 usa she her on ao3 at users lavenderprose i ii iii iv my ao3 my fic archive shane s crush soda add or whatever is added to the catalogue of ads on a digital billboard somewhere outside toronto and basically overnight that portion of the 401 becomes extremely problematic one fender bender a day it goes on for about two weeks until one flustered woman whose toyota camry low lacks a rear bumper admits that she was just terribly distracted by shane hollander s twenty foot tall wet abs ilya who finds out about this through his usual methods google alert for shane s name is delighted because 1 nobody was seriously injured and 2 there is now an actual monetary number that can be placed on how much damage to the national psyche shane has done your abs have a body count hollander shut up do you think the insurance companies will count it as act of god rozanov because you are hockey god you get it okay and you are fuck hollander did you just bite me 186 notes 9 24 pm reblog heated rivalry shane hollander this is only very lightly based on that time someone hacked a digital billboard on i75 and played gay porn on a loop for about half an hour above great lakes crossings mall before anyone could stop it tumblr has twice in the last 48 hours forcefed me heated rivalry hate whatever that specifically called out the amount of onscreen sex tepid fucking take but whatever i ve addressed this before and when i click through to the blog to block i find out from the blog bio that the person who wrote that shit is thirteen insane fucking insane who let you watch this show 97 notes 7 36 pm reblog other hot takes from these posts included all of the fics are ai which is a nothingburger of an unprovable argument that i thought we d navigated away from ages ago and i hope sophie nelisse s character gets with ilya s hot friend which we can t be talking that way gay baby ahhhhg anyway who is letting the children watch this show and yes i am being a bitch maggie talks fuckin sucks that rachel reid decided that her queer unicorn team was going to be fucking ottawa shane and ilya could have been winning cups and causing earthquakes together in montreal it could have fucking happened we could have had it all 92 notes 1 22 pm reblog yes i have been watching tiktoks of the victoire celebrations and it s making me emotional maggie talks heated rivalry lavenderprose my most closely guarded and precious to me headcanon about heated rivalry in universe hollanov rpf is that the vast majority of the fics are top shane they characterize him as a strong and silent type who eventually melts into a sweet nervous service top when ilya s brating and chirping and spreading legs finally convince shane to let his guard down real shane and ilya are of course not remotely aware of this because i cannot tell you how niche rpf as a community is and how completely off the radar the cloisters of stan twitter would be to a couple of professional hockey players from the mid 2010s however the fandom war caused by the conflicting characterizations of shane in hollanov fic versus shayden fic does result in a middle school teacher in saskatoon getting doxxed op have you ever been in this fandom op do you perchance have trauma from the ____ fandom my dudes my guys my precious babies i cannot stress to you how much every fandom that has ever existed has been like this protect yourselves via source 1226 notes 9 38 am reblog maggie talks my most closely guarded and precious to me headcanon about heated rivalry in universe hollanov rpf is that the vast majority of the fics are top shane they characterize him as a strong and silent type who eventually melts into a sweet nervous service top when ilya s brating and chirping and spreading legs finally convince shane to let his guard down real shane and ilya are of course not remotely aware of this because i cannot tell you how niche rpf as a community is and how completely off the radar the cloisters of stan twitter would be to a couple of professional hockey players from the mid 2010s however the fandom war caused by the conflicting characterizations of shane in hollanov fic versus shayden fic does result in a middle school teacher in saskatoon getting doxxed 1226 notes 5 05 pm reblog heated rivalry i know this is going to make everyone who thinks that shane is immediately clockable as a bottom feel some type of way but this is my truth and i must live it in the sunshine knucklecurve every time someone makes a post that operates on the assumption that dom sub or s m dynamics exist in opposition to being nice being loving being sweet or taking care of each other they should have to venmo me and all of my friends 50 each via source 883 notes 1 15 pm reblog this also makes people utterly fucking blind to kink even when it s in their fucking faces like you know what i m talking about but oh those two characters are having kinky sex no way no way they love each other too much excuse there is a character giving orders and asking questions and saying things like do you want to hear a secret playing a fucking game and then there is a character whose only job is to say yes and yet somehow there is a disturbingly large portion of the fandom who genuinely believes that they are not kinky because the guy giving orders is in love with the guy he s giving the orders to like okay whatever huu huu smugrobotics smugrobotics smugrobotics smugrobotics smugrobotics i think the first threesome shane and ilya ever have is with the cup to clarify i do not mean that they have a threesome in the presence of the cup i mean the cup is their third now i know you re wondering about logistics i did too but i think the most likely answer is that they took the cup to paris right down to the champs du mars but shane is a strict bottom yes i know and believe me i m sure he was understandably upset he couldn t get railed by the physical manifestation of hockey superiority but one must play the cards they are dealt although what if the cup had a strap fuckrozanov via source 999 notes 8 40 am reblog railed in the ass by my husband and the physical manifeststion of hockey superioirity that we won together someone get chuck tingle on the fucking horn right now heated rivalry hello would you mind expanding on your shane thrives in grroups of large men tag bc i would like to hear more if you re willing anonymous okay so i m gonna try to put this into words but i also need you to bear with me because it s gonna sound a bit wild at first shane hollander is a pick me stop throwing tomatoes hear me out yes i know pick me is a loaded term i ve known a couple of pick mes and they were actually really lovely girls who had been so conditioned to behave only in the most male attention oriented ways that it literally broke them yes i know this is not the universal experience but honestly i think it s more common than anybody realizes we live in a society etc etc so enter shane hollander who grew up in locker rooms he has spent most of his life courting and thriving on male attention purely by necessity if you want to do well at sport you need to perform at a level that catches the attention of your male coaches and your male teammates and your male rivals on the opposing team as a gay man this almost definitely crossed some wires for him he wants every man in that room to want to be him he wants every man in that room to want him sickly and carnally and some of this is latent and internalized to hell while some of it he is painfully aware of most notably when he is jerking off and allows himself to think about kneeling in a room full of men who are all fighting over who gets to fuck him first i mean you get the point so yeah shane thrives in groups of men he s their guy he s their good hockey boy the inherent assumed heterosexuality of the spaces he orbits in allow him to flirt kind of wildly with some of these guys and nobody is any the wiser because these highly masculine spaces are also paradoxically highly homoerotic to the point where male bonding is valued highest above almost any other relationship one can have and shane who is actually gay and genuinely does want that attention even latently is very good at male bonding read flirting you ll look great in silver vaughny see you in october wink crucially shane doesn t really realize that he s doing any of this it s probably part of how ilya clocks his shit the way shane behaved around him at the ccm shoot is probably not all that different from how shane approached other men in his social sphere who he wanted to impress or to be impressed by him but ilya who is enlightened to those tactics by being actually queer sees it for what it is the other major key factor in shane s ability to thrive in rooms full of men is that he very early on becomes an object of envy for these guys he s hockey jesus he s a generational talent honestly some of these guys probably would like to fuck shane hollander if they had it in writing that it didn t make them gay no way doesn t count if it s shane hollander that s basically the same as putting your dick in hockey itself and yeah maybe that s also something that shane has fantasies about then again the pick me analogy isn t perfect because shane actually is in a position to be coveted by the people whose attention he craves just not in any way that is actually accessible to him and not in any way that he would actually admit to himself he wants again this is part of the reason why his relationship with ilya goes down the way it does part of shane knows that he is ilya rozanov s perfect little slut and that ilya does not know how to quit him at some point years down the line shane will actually be able to admit this to himself and it will make him a slightly worse version of himself but only in ways that make ilya that much more insane about him 895 notes 8 52 pm reblog maggie answers heated rivalry shane hollander i think it would be so gender affirming to shane that he and ilya are like show canon and are basically the same size he likes when they fuck in front of a mirror cause he can look at their bodies and how clearly they are two men fucking and it gets him so wet penis siz3 average autistichollander reading this made me go like this fr like literallyyyyyy yay yes yessssss 33333 he loooooooves seeing how close in size they are he loves knowing that they both are so fucking strong and that its his choice to be so pliant for ilya when theyre fucking and god yeah he fucking loves seeing them in a mirror he really truly does 3 he makes a fucking mess whenever hes really thinking about how they are men fucking he loves when ilya calls him strong and compliments every part of him that he admires on ilya too all of the things shane finds so sexy and manly about ilya physically ilya reminds shane he feels the same way and that makes shane float sooooo high up above the clouds he fucking loves knowing he is a man and that ilya really truly sees him that way and wants him so fucking badly like wow via source 569 notes 6 30 pm reblog god i really do think i need to write more of wild geese heated rivalry shane hollander my toxic trait is thinking that i understand shane hollander better than 80 of the people who be out here saying things yes i know it is a problem and no i will not stop someone once left a comment on one of my fics which read never have i read a shane hollander who was more like a race horse and that shit went straight to my head one must imagine me as a megalomaniacal king or perhaps a dragon atop my hoard of correct and based shane hollander headcanons 544 notes 5 50 pm reblog heated rivalry shane hollander he s a jock he s a sub bottom he s actively giving himself a stress ulcer he has a superiority complex he s a terminal mama s boy he doesn t know how to talk to men unless they are also jocks if you talk to him about cars or birds he will go reflexively deaf he is rude this is crucial he says all the right things but there is something just subtly off about how he says them if he doesn t like you he won t even try and he does not like most people he genuinely does thrive in large groups of men this is maybe the gayest thing about him but he s so jock brained that he s never even noticed and to be fair nobody else has either he runs in circles where the desire to hang out in a large group of extremely fit men is just par for the course he is an absolute magnet for bisexuals most of his close relationships are the product of this special superpower ilya rose max and leah hayden probably but don t tell him ilya considers getting shane a shirt that says emotional support kinsey 6 that last bit is a joke and we re being very serious i am very serious about how deeply i understand shane hollander but u get the point