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knees as cursed as we are we didn t need bowie 2 0 lurking in the shadows however firing nate mcmillan ended up being the best decision all day as we all know nate mcmillan sucks you think you like mcmillan because he s been around for so many years but all he does is lose he can win with losers but he can t win with winners the most important thing to note from all this our city s only professional franchise is looking towards the future the po zers have multiple picks in a draft full of talent rising stars and two marquee players heading into next season they are currently courting top notch gms to bring about this change still it s such a disappointment to see a team purposely tank their season hopefully tank gods will notice our sacrifice and lift the curse for a couple of years 84 tv shows set in portland published 10 05 love 13 comments tags leverage or pdx portland portlandia sucks television tv shows when i first heard that a tnt show called leverage was filming in portland i was super duper excited it s always sunny in philadelphia grey s anatomy and the wire all do a great job of capturing and depicting the pulse of the city they are filmed in after watching the first episode of season two i was a little disappointed to find our city is actually supposed to be a representation of boston the opening scene of season 2 shows a car racing through boston s downtown area until it flips and lights on fire in front of mary s club mary s grand opening over the course of the next couple of seasons the show would continue to highlight more of boston s metro area spots like gilt club north park blocks and big pink this made me wonder what other shows are set in portland the garbage began to stack up portlandia set and filmed in portland if you think this show is a perfect depiction of portland you might be right if you think this show is one of the funniest shows on tv you would definitely be wrong portlandia is a pile of diarrhea i understand that fred and carrie are trying to poke fun at portland through a series of sketches but can you remember any that are actually funny for those of you who say put a bird on it was hilarious i ask you to think of how it ends now go back and watch it yeah not very funny free agents set in portland two funny people acting in two unfunny character roles the pr business is boring dull and life sucking like aloha if it hasn t been cancelled yet it should be like aloha under suscpision set and filmed in portland cancelled after one season life unexpected set in portland cancelled nowhere man set in portland cancelled after one season grimm set and filmed in portland feels like nbc s attempt to get into the sci fi biz ala x files fringe and eureka their pilot episode is about a college student who is mysteriously attacked ha pilot the only successful show i see coming from this city is a fictional african american comedy about two rookies drafted by the blazers in the early 00 s may or may not be on cw one is from a small town in texas where he was born with values and a god fearing sense of decency the other is from some ghetto on the east coast who loooves marijuana they get an apartment together its the odd couple meets weeds comedy insanity ratings what would the name of that show be 83 the tiger published 03 15 love 2 comments tags david wu or pdx portland sucks tiger willamette week ap the tiger is the u s representative for oregon s 1st congressional district as a beast and congressman the tiger has been a part of some landmark moments that have shaped our country the tiger was born in the 1950 s when kellogg s frosted flakes was in need of a mascot to appear on packaging and advertising campaigns they settled with a chinese immigrant from taiwan and the tiger became a huge success with children everywhere over the generations he became one of the greatest cartoon icons in the realm of goofy sonic and the tasmanian devil in his final year at yale law school the tiger was contacted by american rock band survivor to pen the theme for rocky iii the movie was a story about an epic battle with man mr t vs man mr b in one of the greatest collaborations in the history of mankind rocky iii would debut eye of the tiger to moviegoers and radio enthusiasts everywhere in his first attempt the tiger found success at 2 and was nominated for an academy award his second musical collaboration united a group of rappers that went on to some success in the hip hop community in 1998 he teamed up with the democrat party and successfully won a seat as united state s newest congressman although his reign would last twelve years it also introduced a dark longing to return to the jungle on october 30th 2010 blackberry emails texts and images surfaced showing the tiger under the influence of jungle fever he would proceed to embarrass his staff and oregonians over the next couple of months until the tiger was put down by wweek com currently his blood is being sold on the black market fueling other crazy outbursts and behavioral changes in humans 82 snowpocalypse published 11 23 travel 11 comments tags or pdx portland snowpocalypse its that time of year when everyone in portland gets on their cold weather periods the peacoats hipster scarves and rain boots come out in full force coffee shops experience a jolt in morning sales our town becomes a super sad depressing wet blanket the amount of darkness and rain only prelude to the inevitable climax of what everyone outside of the willamette valley already knows exist snow snow frozen crystalized rain you can manipulate these tiny crystals into a bunch of balls representing fat people apocalypse the end of the world complete desperation and loss of hope the walking dead left 4 dead cw s 90210 this sudden bombardment of freaky cold temperatures causes such a stupid panic that coloradans only laugh at the mild winter portland residents call snowpocalypse for those of you lucky enough to not know the definition snowpocalypse is the cataclysmic event of snow touching the valley floor the degree of snow doesn t really matter in fact it could snow one inch and that will cause more accidents than 1 10th an inch of rain if you were to ask an eastern oregonian ie real oregon why portlanders easily scare of snow its because they don t know how to drive tapts has already covered this issue and it is fact unfortunately the introduction of winter weather is a scary event for the city of portland businesses are forced to close because beaverton residents can t make it into downtown for work people abandoned their cars rather than wait through hours of traffic and chaos if you dare leave the house you will be faced with soft powdery locusts waiting to bite at your rosey cheeks snowpocalypse is really the end of days until it bumps back up to 47 degrees and rains all week for those of you stranded at home during the work week i recommend these things 1 call your mother and tell her you love her 2 cuddle with your significant other 2a if you don t have a loved one then play video games til your thumbs are red 3 catch up on all the shit that is nsfw cracked com funnyordie com thesuperficial com thedirty com etc leave some recommendations on how you plan to beat the sleet 81 leaf blowers published 10 06 travel 4 comments tags leaf blowers noise pollution or pdx portland sucks every year just after labor day autumn descends on god s country it is a time when one can finally switch out summer sweaters for winter sweaters the air becomes crisp and misty and at least a dozen local hipsters must be rescued from the sauvie island corn maize oh yeah and motherf kers start busting out their leaf blowers up and down the streets of portland walk lazy bastards with the equivalent of a backwards vacuum strapped to their backs blowing their leaf refuse into the streets nothing ruins a perfectly nice fall morning afternoon night midnight than a leaf blower revved up and spitting gasoline into your face as you walk by but you may argue people all across this great nation use leaf blowers why is this something that sucks about portland because portlanders should know better late 2009 citizens within the city limits of portland tried to gets these noise air pollutants banned instead our city government came up with mandatory decibel levels for leaf blowers you could now receive a 300 3000 fine for blowing too loud in portland the max level is set to about the sound of a noisy restaurant or vacuum cleaner outside your window but holy hell it sounds much louder and more annoying than henrys at happy hour okay so maybe not as annoying as this conversation overheard at henry s tavern guy i work in the m financial building as a banker girl oh that s neat i ve been a stylist for about three years guy so what made you want to jump on match com besides the obvious arguments against leaf blowers loud noxious ineffective there is also the fact that when you choose to live in a liveable city you sign up for certain amount of self awareness for the good of the neighborhood one such inconvenience is to get off your lazy ass and rake your yard unfortunately for the people living downtown you don t have a say in the ungodly hours that leaf blowers are contracted to operate so instead of working on a way to ban them let s keep doing what every average portlander does best bitch about it on the internet 80 the cheerful tortoise published 09 29 travel 5 comments tags cheerful tortoise college bar or pdx portland sucks located in the heart of suck university cheerful tortoise has been the watering hole for thousands of college students waiting to wet their whistles as the only bar remaining from rezoning the area it has become the sw marathon taverna attracting crazies by day and fake id s by night to blame the clientele for tortoise s suckery isn t fair to the food atmosphere and bathrooms let s take this one step at a time shall we before this blog was created a group of friends visited the cheerful for cheap recovery food a friend ordered the pancakes and he is a no pro when it comes to culinary experiences after waiting 45 minutes he was eventually served well done black pancakes this north american flapjack was so burnt we tossed them across the table to test it s sturdiness recently i came here around 8 pm on a sunday night for a simple club sandwich and fries at 7 am on monday morning i called in sick for work gross to be honest it isn t fair to expect an excellent meal when you step inside either of the two entrances to this dive bar the floor is generations old the grand ole fire pit appears to be days away from consuming the entire neighborhood in hellfire the walls bar table stools chairs etc are covered in stains and that sticky black residue scientifically known as gunk but it must be noted that you cannot expect cheerful tortoise to care when they have 20 high definition tvs to pull your attention away on a sunday morning during football season the only person who cares about the shit holesque atmosphere are the pearl girlfriends drug dragged here because on deck didn t have the game in high def there are four tier s of female when it comes to these alcohol establishments mothers hate sport dive bars vinny s mom women tolerate them because they enjoy the company of friendship that usually surrounds dive bars sammi sweatheart girls like going here because guys will buy them drinks just for showing up j woww chicks absolutely f ing love these places because they can get hammered at any point of the day snooki i m pretty sure mothers and women would leave after they see the bathrooms at cheerful tortoise girls would complain but after a couple of drinks a girl has got to pee chicks well chicks don t care where they piss it could be the girls bathroom guys bush just as long as they can drop a thong it won t matter now like every dive bar in the world there are some big draws to the general community the daily drink specials thursday s 1 beer night karaoke from wednesday to saturday nfl sunday ticket and super cheap breakfast specials keep people from coming back two out of those four reason are why i go back to the cheerful tortoise why in the hell would you take our poll 79 ghost bikes published 08 06 love 8 comments tags bike cyclist ghost or pdx portland sucks you see them all the time as a fellow human it saddens me that someone lost their life busy streets 4 way stop signs and sharp turns are marked with this memorial for motorists to slow down and be aware of the danger they can cause for those of you who don t know what a ghost bike is let me explain ghost bikes are these bicycles that are painted white and locked near an intersection where a cyclist died they re supposed to serve as a reminder to cars to slow down and look for bikes however it s pretty ineffective seeing as 101 of bikers don t actually brake for intersections actually people who don t ride bikes ride their bikes through intersections without breaking some purist have even disabled their braking system in order to achieve a more manageable gear ratio nooow serious cyclists don t use helmets because it makes them look dorky instead they ll use these little cycling caps that offer twice as much protection while looking only three times dorkier than a traditional helmet have you ever picked up a chick on your bike ladies do you ever think people pay attention to what helmet you are wearing whilst leaning on your cruiser if i ever die on my bike please promise to complete a thorough investigation to determine whether or not the accident was my fault and if it was my fault please don t lock my bike to a stop sign because if you find i cruised through an intersection without a helmet i don t want dudes in short pants little hats having a circle jerk on account of my own foolishness but then again i ll be dead don t be stupid wear protection http www bicyclinginfo org bikemore safely cfm next page twitter updates tweets by tapts top posts 85 tanking 84 tv shows set in portland 83 the tiger 82 snowpocalypse 81 leaf blowers 80 the cheerful tortoise 79 ghost bikes 78 ru dy 77 police bureau 76 nate mcmillan links and blogs another portland blog barfly pdx lost oregon matt davis opens his mouth pdx mug shots portland gentrification the dirty portland things i eat travel portland what s weird about portland recent comments oregon is getting ga on 37 big pink us bancorp statisticshomeworkne on 66 being unhappy stepha on 2 tracy barry kgw news nicky on 66 being unhappy indoor playground on 52 beaver fans this work is licensed under a creative commons attribution noncommercial no derivative works 3 0 license create a free website or blog at wordpress com rss entries and rss comments things about portland that suck blog at wordpress com subscribe subscribed things about portland that suck sign me up have a wordpress com account log in now privacy things about portland that suck view site in reader manage subscriptions 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