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Text of the page (random words):
erived many economic and medical benefits from it major brett johnson s job is to convince the oceanians that those who voluntarily became part of the hive mind don t fully understand the peril to their humanity and that they must allow the nanotechnology and everything based on it to be destroyed rather than forcing the federalist worlds to fight a war against them he is also to learn as much as possible about oceanian technology to win a war if one is inevitable at first brett believes in his mission then he rashly seduces a beautiful woman knowing this may interfere with his task yet wanting to distract her from giving her soul to the hive mind with her help he learns more about oceania than his superiors could have hoped but begins to question what he s been told is the hive mind truly a malignant entity seeking to trick humans into building the tools it needs to absorb them or a collaborative tool enabling people to perform superhuman feats of intellect he can only find out by becoming part of the supermind if he was right all along and no individual can ever leave he will never know what he s lost and those who hear his report may not understand until it s too late if his doubts are correct it may well be too late to convince his superiors and the home world of the woman he loves may be wracked by a devastating and unnecessary war absorption is an 80 000 word science fiction novel i received my masters of library science from the state university of new york at albany grateful regards david weisman posted by rick daley at 8 48 am 8 comments labels science fiction feb 22 2010 query the brigid this is too long and not focused enough but i can t see how to fix it in this 80 000 word urban fantasy the brigid one man s lack of faith in his unseen heritage may be the weakness that destroys the entire world starting with those closest to him they are brothers twins they live in the white world but a piece of them belongs to their mother s people the nez perce caleb accepts that piece of himself but mika s doubts haunt him in spite of what his brother thinks it s intuition that sometimes guides mika not the spirit guide he courted in his adolescence into their lives comes brigid a beautiful woman with no memory and enemies and friends who stretch the brothers credulity creatures like the beautiful but terrifying tuatha de dannan and the wee man who smokes a dragonbone pipe and who just might be a leprechaun these creatures aren t even from their heritage but the twins spirit guides won t let turn their backs no matter how unbelievable all this is they can t because the magic that has been locked away in various pocket worlds for nearly two millennium is flooding back into the world through dangerously wide open portals created by those who want to reclaim this world but whose recklessness threatens to destroy everything in an explosive chain reaction and behind it all the dragons of brigid s world laugh at how easy humankind is to manipulate in order to save not just the world of the mysterious stranger who both brothers are starting to fall in love with but their own world as well mika must learn to believe and caleb must learn to see his own worth outside of his brother s shadow thanks to anyone who has any ideas posted by rick daley at 6 48 am 10 comments labels urban fantasy feb 21 2010 query avid heights revision 1 click here to read the original query dear agent just like every other girl in the city of avid heights sailor tulley has a crush on the local superhero corey cantrell it s too bad she s the sidekick of his nemesis the city villain when sailor ditches her sidekick disguise to get closer to corey she s surprised to see that he returns her feelings but when her boss mysteriously discovers her relationship with his rival the same day that corey begins giving her the cold shoulder she realizes it s no coincidence the connection between hero and villain runs deeper than she expected and corey may not be the hero that he says he is she must now decide which is more important salvaging a relationship with her ideal man or holding onto her irreplaceable career both hero and villain are lying about their identity and the only way for sailor to make a decision is to uncover who they really are avid heights is a work of commercial fiction complete at 60 000 words this book can stand alone but i also have a sequel planned thank you for your time and consideration sincerely notes from the author 1 thank you so much to those who helped me shorten this query and to rick for making this possible i welcome as many more critiques as it takes 2 i m trying this from a commercial fiction angle instead of chick lit does this work posted by rick daley at 9 01 am 18 comments labels commercial fiction feb 20 2010 query shards of glass shards of glass is women s fiction complete at 83 000 words april mitchell was seventeen years old when she helped her terminally ill father commit suicide six years later she s living the perfect life as a medical school student with a handsome boyfriend but can t quite put the past behind her as her father requested she lied to her mother saying that he died alone after her mother s emotional breakdown april realized no one was ever going to love her if she told them the truth she s been lying ever since borrowing other people s stories for her own pretending that her father is still alive even changing what she ate for lunch that day it seems like the only way to remake her world and herself into what it should be the truth starts to come out when april runs into ex lover nick who tells april s true story to his jealous girlfriend she exposes april s secret endangering april s seat at medical school and the family s life insurance money april must finally talk to her mother about the night her father died as her lies are all uncovered but telling the truth about her father s suicide and her chronic lying since might cost her dream of being a doctor her boyfriend and any possibility of ever reconciling with her mom i have been previously published in cicada and windhover i also run the writing blog this is not my day job http thisisnotmydayjob blogspot com i look forward to your response sincerely guinevere posted by rick daley at 4 41 pm 16 comments labels women s fiction feb 19 2010 query avid heights dear agent there s no doubt in sailor tulley s mind that her crush on corey cantrell is unrequited he s brawny and tan with flawless physical features and she s vertically challenged and overweight not to mention he s the superhero of the city of avid heights and she s the sidekick of his nemesis corey treats her like dirt because of her job position but sailor is convinced that if he knew her as a person and not an enemy he would return her feelings she ditches her sidekick disguise and approaches him in plain clothes and he s fooled into believing she s a different person despite their contrasting physiques he appears to be falling for her at first sailor manages to keep the taboo romance under wraps while simultaneously concealing her professional identity around corey but when her boss mysteriously discovers her relationship with his rival the same day that corey begins giving her the cold shoulder sailor realizes it s no coincidence the connection between hero and villain runs deeper than she expected she must now decide whose side she is really on her handsome lover who is now suddenly uninterested or his nemesis her concerned employer to whom she failed to remain loyal both men have been hiding behind lies but the only way for sailor to see them for who they really are is to start being honest with herself avid heights is a 60 000 word chick lit novel set in a futuristic city this book can stand alone but i also have a sequel planned thank you for your time and consideration sincerely notes from the author 1 i m aware that this is super long but i can t figure out how to trim it any advice would be great 2 novel word count is on the shorter side but i m hoping to get it up to 70k with more editing posted by rick daley at 12 59 pm 14 comments labels chick lit feb 17 2010 query 7 days revision 3 click here to read the original query click here to read the second revision all pastors claim to believe in god some even believe in demons too bad nathan hanlin isn t one of them tired of preaching about a god who supposedly loves mankind nathan figures life would be easier if he took destiny into his own hands and it is easier that is until a demon shows up but it s not just one demon that nathan encounters nor is he the only one having this problem it turns out that when nathan turned his back on god he created a crack in the spiritual shield protecting his town a shield that has stood in place for over 100 years all nathan wants is for life to get back to normal he d like his nightmares to end his friends to accept he s never going to preach again and for his older sister to stop insisting god is trying to get his attention enough already actually what nathan really wants is to step back in time to a place where he was happy fulfilled and there were no demons to deal with when nathan finally gets the courage to go through his dead wife s things he finds out the life he thought he had never really existed nathan must now choose to stop blaming god and accept his life or completely forsake everyone and let whatever comes have its way demons and all 7 days to redemption completed at 77 000 words is a supernatural suspense in which a pastor s faith in god is tested and his trust in his sister is betrayed posted by rick daley at 10 38 pm 6 comments labels supernatural suspense query shifting sand revision click here to read the original query dear agent sadie sloan is discovering that it s hell on a marriage to love another man sadie a thirty six year old art teacher on the brink of divorce is in self imposed exile on tybee a barrier island off the coast of georgia that is heavy on small town southern charm and social deviants one night after yet another bartender cuts her off sadie runs into kyle the man who left her shattered eighteen years ago seeing him releases a torrent of suppressed memories of that summer after high school when she fell in love with kyle her boyfriend s best friend and her best friend s boyfriend the shocking suicide of sadie s best friend drove them apart and sadie never quite recovered now it seems like they have another chance to discover the happiness that was denied them so many years ago sadie is too busy trying to pretend to be a teenager again to listen to friends and family who are all warning her to stay away from kyle sadie s husband is too busy trying to soothe his bruised ego to tell sadie that he loves her and desperately wants her to come back home before sadie throws her life away for kyle she must learn for herself that the past only exists in her memories and that as much as she may want to she can t go back again shifting sand a work of women s fiction is complete at 89 000 words please contact me if you are interested in seeing my novel thank you for your consideration posted by rick daley at 7 20 pm 7 comments labels women s fiction query mayhem inc dear agent the end of the world is coming in two weeks or so thaddeus sinclair would have you believe he is a member of a covert group of anarchists called mayhem inc sinclair has carefully devised a plot to convince the world an asteroid will collide with the earth he has bribed manipulated and murdered people to get all the pieces into their exact positions after years of meticulous planning the endgame is set society will soon collapse into a quagmire of mayhem and destruction there is only one problem with his plan archer quinn quinn a courier only eats food he can count organizes his clothes by color and polishes every bullet before loading his gun mayhem inc hires his courier service to deliver a package that includes the orders kill the messenger but they didn t plan on quinn s former special forces training he escapes with their encrypted data and scarce clues on why someone wants him dead his hunt for the truth leads him to junior reporter tamara bruce she is investigating a mysterious tip about a cover up of an asteroid strike and is at dead end until quinn shows up harrowed by strange men in gray suits and sinclair s minions who want the data back quinn and tamara untangle more of the plot and realize someone is manipulating everything including them with startling clarity archer quinn realizes the chaos surrounding him is not random chance but a set of orchestrated events quinn s obsessive compulsive mind rails against the idea of organized chaos and summarily shuts down as society teeters on the edge of bedlam tamara helps calm the order chaos storm raging in quinn s head but a new conundrum takes its place should he continue his efforts to stop sinclair and mayhem inc or should he be helping them they are after all the order behind the chaos posted by rick daley at 4 46 pm 8 comments labels guess the genre feb 15 2010 the five stages of querying one of the slushpile s followers lurkers commentors posted a nice article about the five stages of querying she also gives some advice regarding the hardest part of querying waiting for a response posted by rick daley at 7 00 pm 3 comments labels faq the nameless query revision 2 click here to read the original query dear agent eighteen year old erica ann dawson fell asleep in her bed in batesfield connecticut and awoke to find herself driving down a four lane highway plagued by inexplicable blackouts she begins losing hours even days with no memory of what transpired in the intervening time as the blackouts grow worse she starts to doubt her own sanity until she learns the truth erica is slowly being replaced being usurped from her own life by a creature known only as a changeling the changeling has bewitched erica s name and is using it to steal away her memories her life her very soul to save herself from being completely consumed erica is forced to make a terrible sacrifice she gives up her name and with it relinquishes all rights to her own identity now nameless and forgotten by her friends and family alike the girl is plunged into a world of magic where a sharpie and a book of matches could mean the difference between life and death she must learn to harness the power of names and sigils to fight back against the changelings and the dark force invading batesfield will she be strong enough to overcome the mysterious master of the changelings and reclaim what she has lost or will she remain nameless forever the nameless is a ya fantasy novel complete at 60 000 words the manuscript is available upon request thank you for your time and consideration sincerely emily xxxx address telephone email posted by rick daley at 4 30 pm 5 comments labels fantasy young adult beth query revised click here to read the original query note this is not the actual t...
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