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pens in new window linkedin share on pinterest opens in new window pinterest share on reddit opens in new window reddit like loading leave a comment family it truly does take a village we can t escape that and shouldn t posted on july 12 2014 by nora l pratt under journal entry journey of the month family there are many families those we are born with and those we pick up along the way i ve managed to have a wonderful family both immediate and extended i just got back from seeing my cousins in rapid city sd to many of my friends they ask why south dakota well it is wonderful country if you want to know the truth and my family happens to be some of the best people anyone could be related to i m proud to be part of them all of them with my trips to that wonderful country and those fabulous people comes my thoughts of what if what if my father had never left the area what if as a family we had stayed and we kids were raised right along side my cousins each time i return i m left with a bit of emptiness in my heart now don t get me wrong i love each of my siblings my niece and nephew and yes i know that the grass can always appear greener but they are so warm and loving very welcoming so much so that it makes me covet them i long to be a sibling is it even possible to covet people there is so much history to be learned each time i go back our family is everywhere in the history books we came over in 1634 it s quite fascinating and my cousin ann is engrossed in the genealogy and slowly pulling me in with her it does make me wonder about this wonderful history of ours and all of us who were born from it it s amazing when you consider what is genetic personality for instance i ve noticed that there is a certain personality traits on one side of our family that is much more gregarious than the other side it s not like one person has this personality trait most of them if not all of them have it it would be more of an abnormality to not be gregarious or charismatic incredible i m a bit of an oddity as i m not sure i carry this gene i mean when i am asked to play a role i can do it in gangbusters but for some reason i m unable to show that genetic side of myself one on one in a crowd or at a party did i lose out on these genes when my father decided that california was the place to live and raise his family i don t know my north hollywood cousins seem to have the genes and they seem to have the life in spades they know everyone they know the whose who went to school with all the whose who on the list so what does that make us the pomona macgregors what are we the misfits is this really a matter of circumstance or is it simply choice families are funny i spent most of my life wanting no wishing for that mother the mother that was my aunt she spoke to me like i was an adult she was always interested in what it was that i was doing with my life i was never too dumb too stupid too ugly no matter what i was doing i was magnificent to understand my love for this woman you would have to understand the trials of the girl me no matter what i did no matte how fabulous i sang in choir or in a musical no matter how well i succeeded in the arts it was never good enough that little girl known as ann would never be good enough to gain the approval of her mother but when the family went to north hollywood she would always always gain the approval of her aunt for it was her aunt who would make sure that there was a place at her breakfast table to sip coca cola and talk and to tell her all about her accomplishments family they come in so many shapes and sizes today i have many friends that are there none that i could say were there like my aunt louise but they are there as close as possible they still build me up and they believe in me even when i can t belive in myself these were people that pulled me out of what i refer to as my five year coma i have a couple of friends kat and den who literally pulled me out of my grief and torment i was surviving what kat referred to as a war i lost everything i lost my sister i lost my bother to alcoholism and i lost everything i owned to a fire i was literally surviving i was surviving a tragedy i never thought of it that way yet she s right i just saw the doctor for some abrasions that i had on my back the pain was severe i felt like i had the flu and i just could not get it together my diagnosis shingles of all things i was on my way out of town to my favorite town to see my favorite people and i have shingles my doctor indicated that this virus only comes out under a great deal of stress have you been under stress to which i replied me no psha only for the past decade she smirked and proceeded to lecture me that this was my body s way of telling me that it was now the time to listen to it i now had this virus and nothing no nothing was going to keep it from me the only way to keep myself from this was to keep myself stress free in a way i laughed i thought to myself does she know who she is talking with i am the caretaker of this family i am the one that the family depends on to care for our siblings and by all bets our brother is the next to die he has chosen alcoholism and is currently in what one might call wet brain it s only a matter of time you see this is what i was talking about early on we all come from a branch of the family and we come from the james david s branch and i can t help but feel ashamed my sister elizabeth has really made a wonderful name for herself she is someone who daddy will is should be proud but i look at david and myself and i wonder what went wrong david was a prodigy he was brilliant he had everything going for him and i just don t understand what it was or why it is that he has chosen to lose his life in alcohol such a gift so many gifts he could ve taught at the university for crying out loud he had a way with young people and he had a way of explaining the impossible of mathematics in terms that anyone could understand i can understand his not wanting to pursue concert piano but there were so many other gifts i e writing film making composing so many talents so my question continues what if would life have been different had we stayed or gone back to rapid city sd i look at my brother and at first i blamed him for not being stronger i now look at his life and admire him for all the struggles that he battled through he was nine years old when our father died and all of the worlds problems all of our mother s problems were placed on his shoulders he was never allowed to be a boy we talk so much these days about how it takes a village to raise a child it truly does for you never know that child might have lost a parent due to divorce or desertion or death at any rate they lost in the long run they lost not just one parent they lost both regardless of the loss the remaining parent is left dealing with not just the loss and picking up the pieces of their own heart their left filling in for that amputated limb that constituted the co head of the family so why can t we as a community be a family why is it so difficult that we can t show compassion for those boys and girls and give them something to keep them busy after school even if it s in our own yards family it comes in many forms i think that through the years it has evolved gone are the days where we have simply a mom and dad with children who go to church on sunday and possibly mid week dinner service each week family has now evolved to each and every one of us i used to feel so sorry for myself because i was not given the blessing of having a child of my own but then i realized that i can give those same blessings that i would ve given to my own children onto those in the community who need it it takes a village it truly does family comes in all shapes and sizes i m so very proud of my family i m a bit perplexed at the path that some have taken and can only pray that they find their way back but i can move forward and continue on helping those that want and need it our family is made up of not just those who are born to us it is of those wonderful souls who enrich our lives each and every day and who we if we are so blessed enrich their lives as well family is life and lifts us up it truly does take a village and this is a theory none should try to escape or ignore share this share on facebook opens in new window facebook email a link to a friend opens in new window email share on tumblr opens in new window tumblr share on x opens in new window x print opens in new window print share on linkedin opens in new window linkedin share on pinterest opens in new window pinterest share on reddit opens in new window reddit like loading 2 comments the one does this mean one is all we get posted on june 30 2014 by nora l pratt under journal entry journey of the month love some say we only get one true love in a lifetime then there are others that say it is open to all so long as we open our hearts and minds i ve been reminded of a lost love these last few weeks which must have prompted my subconscious mind to spark dreams of him which birthed thoughts of what if poisonous if taken in large doses especially to those of us already riddled with regret no i know what you re thinking the dreams were clean just him and me in different life scenarios actually they were dreams of our life present day as if we were together some were with him as he s aged and some were with him as he was back in high school either way they were pleasant as if we were us again two peas in a pod and we were you know two peas in a pod there were many who thought of us as an unusual couple especially for high school students there was so much love it was as if we were one when at a party i could be out back visiting with guests while he was in the house and anyone who didn t know us would know no feel our feelings for one another i had the opportunity to marry him twice and twice i turned him down only after accepting his proposal i don t know why necessarily i think that i wanted to be sure i was able to stand on my own two feet also i came from a family where education was very important my mother was educated her mother was educated and so on i on the other hand dropped out of college and didn t finish until i was thirty eight thirty nine but most importantly no woman in my family married at eighteen nobody i found a job as an underwriter in what is known as a wholesale house in the insurance industry and was doing really well craig and i were dating again and were very happy craig was working as a waiter in a restaurant and we would see each other as often as we could well with him now two counties over we had grown up and i was pregnant yes pregnant i just didn t know what to do so i waited saw a doctor and it was confirmed i paced and worked and did just about anything to get my mind off of it but i knew somehow i had to deal with this and figure out what i we were going to do finally about a couple of weeks or so passed craig had been busy i tried to call and our conversations were short ending with him saying he d have to call me back but i wasn t able to see much of him so i felt it was time to drop in and spring the news he loved me this i knew would he love the idea of a baby well this not so sure but i had to do this sooner or later so after work i made the drive and dropped in craig was living with his mother and she had a special liking to me thank goodness i asked if he was in she said no no he isn t but won t you come in and visit for a bit so we chatted as laughed i did like her a great deal and she told me something that made me feel oh so uncomfortable she said you know you are just glowing you really must be enjoying your life i was bursting to tell her but couldn t after about an hour or so i left for home later that same night i got a call from craig asking that we meet in our park at the usual place young people so dramatic with the meeting places and the counting the stars talking making out so i got in my car and drove over and met him he apologized for not calling me in a while i told him that i understood and that i had something to tell him he had something to tell me as well so being me i let him go first he had to break things off with me it was as if a bullet went off inside me tearing every organ apart my heart felt as if it was tearing in two as he continued i ve been seeing a woman i met at work we were actually in the back of the house when you were by the other day and she gave me an ultimatum to break it off with you or she will break it off with me my eyes were welling up with tears as he continued i will always love you but i have to see where this leads she has been so wonderful to me i could hear his words but nothing was really sinking in i was pregnant over the past several years it was i who was the center of his love and affection i who gave my virtue to him as he gave himself to me and it was beautiful he was always there for me always there to snuggle with to wipe my tears away to laugh with to talk with i imagined that we would eventually get married when i imagined having children they were his children now what how will life look for me now without him in it we talked and cried well into the night i did tell him about my pregnancy and told him that i was going to raise this child on my own i never expected anything from him we both cried buckets of tears i can remember that night like it was last week and he just didn t seem like a man who wanted nothing to do with me but he made up his mind and we said good bye there was nothing more i could do then again maybe i should have fought for him more wouldn t it be great if we could go back in time just to see and then again it s a great thing we can t there are no do overs there s no going back and what s worse we can never know the infamous what would have been i don t quite understand why i m being plagued with dreams now of all times perhaps it s because i m on the dating scene which sucks by the way and i m feeling a bit lonely i had a great marriage with doug truly aside from the drinking he was is a wonderful man but craig was the one i ve never felt that way about anybody before or since so do we get a second chance at love is there more than one soul mate for us out there or are soul mates just a made up term by the self help gurus to sell more books is there love after fifty what about sex does that exist or is it extinct obviously i ve since come to some resolution with craig in fact we are still friends wonderful friends best friends platonic friends and i do think the dreams are my sub consciences way of reminding me what i m missing no not craig a life partner i m not sure i want to get married again maybe but i do know that i m a woman who prefers to have a male partner someone who is kind loves me for me and makes me laugh laughter is a must i m not sure but the question plagues me by being young and stupid why did i throw all that away wha...
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