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Text of the page (random words):
t and for giving me a community when i felt like i didn t have one as an assistant and then associate professor without you all and this isn t an exaggeration i wouldn t have kept at blogging for this long so until we meet again only next time it will be as me and not as the super hero alter ego that is dr crazy oh and a postscript whatever happens in the new iteration of my blogging life it will include updates on the kitties because the internet exists for kitties posted in uncategorized 28 comments that s professor crazy thankyouverymuch december 9 2014 by dr crazy so while it is the case that i could punch a student or have a scandal that goes viral or some other horrible event between now and march barring those unfortunate scenarios i have passed through every level of evaluation for promotion to professor with flying flying colors rboc of earning full promotion i totally deserve this shit i have worked hard and really accomplished a lot since i started on the tenure track in 2003 i am excited about what comes next i ve got a course release next semester so i can actually finish my motherfucking book manuscript and i have some new projects in the hopper research wise and i feel like i finally have the ability truly to say no to things that aren t worth my time i am already strategizing about the things i m going to force my chair to let me do for i will outrank my chair ah that feels good note apparently what i want to do is to force us to face issues with recruitment and retention head on i m still a fucking masochist even if i will have full rank if tenure means never having to say you re sorry i feel like full promotion means you don t have to allow people to bloviate and waste your time i feel like maybe i can finally say um can we please get back to the agenda in a department meeting and i feel like if people don t i can walk out i am drunk with power i am one of the first women to be promoted to full in my department in over 15 years the full professors who recommended me were all men and none of them mentored me in putting together my application it s time for a change yo so that s all i am going to go and bask now posted in uncategorized 23 comments a step in the right direction and other news november 13 2014 by dr crazy my application for promotion to full professor has officially advanced to the office of the provost at all levels to this point my promotion has been recommended i was not surprised by the positive evaluation of my materials in the early department level stages but i am apparently and irrationally somewhat stunned that my dean supports my application obviously my promotion is not yet a done deal the provost needs to approve and the board of regents needs to approve but barring some unforeseeable glitch the likelihood that i actually will be promoted is much higher today than it was yesterday and i m a little confused by that this is the thing i have been i now realize bracing myself for a denial this isn t false modesty on my part first of all i had really wanted my second book to be at least under review when i went up for full the manuscript isn t even complete second of all administrative turnover and a complete lack of mentorship toward full meant that i really had no idea what the expectations were when i put together my application i mean i did my best but i was definitely going into this process blind so i guess i had figured that i d submit the application and that the feedback i got would tell me what was missing and then i d resubmit my application next year or the year after while i really want full promotion and of course that motivated me to put the application together that s not the reason i applied this year i applied because i figured that it made sense to do it given the other people who were applying from my department i applied because it was a way to showcase the work that i do to new administrators who don t know me i applied because there are changes coming to our processes for promotion and tenure and i figured that i might as well try to do it under the current admittedly less rigorous system i applied because there was nothing to lose in doing so but i realize now that i did not apply because i thought i would actually maybe get promoted and now it looks like there is a good chance of that happening and that feels frankly weirder than i thought that it would i mean there is no next promotion after this there is no next hoop to jump through i mean i can create goals for myself and i can create hoops for myself but at the end of the day this is it that is so crazy i can t even talk about it i mean who is at the end of the line when she is just 40 years old that is insane and so i feel a bit lost because of that possibility frankly but you will all laugh at this so i got my letter and i was shaking i was so anxious as i opened the envelope i couldn t even really read it i just raced through to look for the verdict but then i was like omg it s happening and i wanted to tell my department best friend cc she was just about to start class down the hall and because i m an impulsive weirdo i barged into her class and was like i have to show you something and she who has been almost as impatient about things as i ve been figured out what i was talking about and was all is it good and i was all totally now a lot of her students in that class know me and they were all sitting in there and they were like what s going on and as i was making my exit i said it s a secret and the moment i walked out i heard them enthusiastically questioning cc she didn t reveal my secret intel and then later i ran into one of those students in the elevator and she told me that cc wouldn t tell and she tried to get it out of me and i said you will know but not yet nothing is certain my student then said to me well even though i don t know what it is congratulations i love my students love them so this leads to the other news of the title i have a former student who has made it to the interview process for teach for america which is awesome i also have a student applying to be a rhodes scholar and students applying for internships study abroad law school and grad school all of them are freaking amazing i heard from a non trad student whom i had thought dropped out who in fact just needed to stop out in order to get the money to finish and she wants to come in for advising i had a student burst into tears in class yesterday not good except which led to the student coming in for a meeting today and figuring out stuff with her research paper good all but one of my modernism students actually showed up for library instruction and they all seemed to be stoked about how much they learned and i even learned some new things which i admit is part of the reason i do library instruction so i can find out the latest features that will make my life easier critical theory in the intro to the major class i so love introducing what theory is when i don t actually assign them theory to read it makes everything so much better when i actually do teach them theory and then in non student other news footloose is wonderful deals perfectly with my high strung ness because he is like the most low strung person in the way that he interacts with the world though he is totally high strung in his own way but he just internalizes it rather than externalizing it and he totally doesn t react when i freak out which yes is kind of annoying because dude use your words but which also yes is exactly what i need in a person that s enough for now more soon posted in uncategorized 12 comments the pleasures of being mid career ish october 30 2014 by dr crazy i know i never write anymore i feel guilt about that i do and i don t think the drought in posts will last forever but it s happening now because i m in a transition phase and i might actually depending on how things go come out and blog under my actual name in some fashion at a time in the near future though maybe not we ll see but another reason i haven t really written is mostly that i ve been super busy and when i ve had time to blog i ve been too tired to blog whatever i ve got something to write about today i ve worked at my current institution in a tenure track role for 11 years now and i am now experiencing something that is one of the most delightful things i ve experienced as an academic i love the fact that i am now in a position where i have former students with whom to connect to current students or recent grads for mentoring i strongly believe that it is a problem for me to be the one true mentor to my students i want them to follow a path that is true to them and i know that if i am the only voice they hear that it can be difficult for them to find their own way in the past month i ve been able to connect up some current recent students with former students who graduated about 5 years ago who actually have done or are doing the things that my current recent students want to do why is this so meaningful to me a few reasons i love that i maintain relationships with my former students to the extent that they are willing to mentor students i have right now i feel like that should be the norm rather than the exception but it isn t i care about what my former students are doing and have done and i care about keeping in touch with them and it turns out that the benefit of this is that i can call on those relationships to help the students with whom i am currently working even though that isn t why i maintained those relationships in the first place i might have good advice to give but i don t know all the things and i know that i don t know all the things it is so nice to be able to defer to people who know more than i know have more experience than i have and to indicate to my students that i am not the authority i feel like connecting up these people models the fact that it takes a village to find success in one s life you can t depend on one person to make your life happen you need lots of support so i m overwhelmed and i m tired and i m really freaking busy but i m really happy that the work that i do allows me to connect students that i ve taught across the years that is really and truly satisfying posted in teaching 3 comments so so tired october 7 2014 by dr crazy never in my time at my institution do i recall being busier or more ready for fall break though of course i could have repressed previous traumas i m going to visit my high school bff and to meet her new baby it will be a welcome respite from what has been one of the most obnoxiously busy fall semesters of my career today was a 12 hour day filled with grading teaching two classes meetings with three students a college assessment meeting and then a talk at a local library so i don t have much to say but i want to say some things anyway since i m such a crappy blogger these past few months everything s simply great with footloose though given both of our crazy schedules his crazier than mine if you can believe it we just don t have that much time together but maybe that is why we like each other so much ha anyway we both like each other we both like being together so now it s just a matter of carving out some more time for each other which is happening slowly but surely at least so far the promotion application wends its way through the levels of evaluation and it is at the halfway point in the process unanimous recommendation to promote from the full profs in my department and a positive recommendation from my chair as well all of this sounds like smooth sailing yes well not necessarily the unanimous recommendation from the full profs was perfunctory i compared letters with cf who is also going up and there were identical lame sentences and a lack of specificity in both in other words while they unanimously recommended me and her they didn t really make a case for either of us and remember two others were going up i suspect in spite of the differences in our records they got similarly bland unanimous support as well i do not believe those men read any part of my application beyond my cover letter and cv my chair s recommendation was better specific engaged and she did clearly explain why i should get the promotion this may make it seem like i have it in the bag but the next two levels are our new dean and our new provost and it is entirely unclear what they think the criteria are for full promotion also since this is their first time at the rodeo at our institution they may want to send a message with their decisions this go around at any rate so far so good but i m not counting my chickens before they hatch you know what sucks committee work you know what doesn t suck my students who are really so great this semester that i can t even stand it they are so engaged and so into everything we re doing they energize me for all of the irritating work i do outside of the classroom it occurs to me that i should probably check on that journal article that submitted august 1 hmmm maybe i ll give it another month and that s all i ve got folks i m too tired to have ideas or to write about them posted in uncategorized 3 comments the freaks come out at night september 21 2014 by dr crazy in the past 10 days or so i have heard from approximately 6 different guys whom i have dated some more seriously some less from out of the blue it is a truth universally acknowledged that a woman in possession of a steady suitor whom she apparently likes a great deal must be in want of the attention of tragic exes also as medusa noted there is a bit of a nip in the air so they may just be feeling frisky like zoo animals posted in uncategorized 3 comments so i ve submitted promotion materials september 15 2014 by dr crazy as of today it is out of my hands first things first this is totally a different feeling from applying for tenure and my first promotion after that i went into a bit of a tailspin which led me to reading stephenie meyer s twilight saga i know clearly i was in a deep dark place this feels much less horrifying i mean sure i might get denied but i won t lose my job there are no real consequences to failure here while there would be consequences to not applying i e if you don t apply you can t get promoted also i do feel confident not certain but confident look i ll be the first person to tell you that there are weak spots in my application there are i had a couple of semesters where my course evaluations weren t fantastic did i ultimately address the things that caused those problems i did but how much weight will be given to those no idea and since we don t do peer evaluations of our teaching and we are never observed by our chair yeah that might mean something though one might argue that perhaps if we took teaching seriously enough to evaluate one another as professionals that i might have solved those problems more quickly and is my research as strong as i would in the platonic ideal of what a full professor s res...
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