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Text of the page (random words):
hen i d go next door to my own apartment i was really happy in those days i think and if you ll excuse me now i m going to go check in on the crush posted by gwinne at 9 32 am 2 comments labels gwinne has a crush friday may 9 2025 the crush and the sad part three or how do you make friends as an adult or in lieu of going to therapy i am wrestling with two oppositional needs on the one hand i am highly introverted sensitive and easily overwhelmed by engagement even with folks i care about my nervous system doesn t seem to recognize the difference between an antagonistic department meeting and a dinner party with good friends for example it takes me hours to unwind after being out and i ve realized my cutoff for human contact is about 8 30 pm or i don t sleep well if at all on the other i m really longing for more connection with kindred spirits i just was at a dinner party at a neighbor s house lively conversation great food i met someone new who i will probably never see again but it was good spending time in her company and also being with folks i already knew and care about but even this safe space felt good only for the first hour and change and then i was tapped and couldn t sit still anymore i was glad to have the built in need to leave to get home to tiny boy and bed routine so despite what is a very clear need for more connection the idea of meeting new people in the context of dating say is pretty abhorrent actually even as i recognize the practical value i m not sure how to meet people in contexts that feel reasonably good and digging into this question is something i need to do more systematically where are my people i am already doing the things where i might meet them dance class and writing workshops among them beyond that i m really not sure posted by gwinne at 7 29 am no comments labels gwinne has a crush sunday april 20 2025 hello friends rboc apparently i need to come out of the woodwork every few months or so i adore my students but this semester needs to be done i m teaching a senior capstone thing and there is way too much ya fiction about dragons vampires shape shifting bacteria and none of this is remotely interesting to me as a poet nonfiction writer sometimes i literally can t process the sentences they write but i really do like my students and the dynamic between them is nothing short of miraculous it reminds me daily of why i do what i do single parenting a 13 y o with adhd is challenging in ways i have never experienced single parenting it is soul sucking and i am cycling through sad and seeing a therapist i am belatedly looking up summer programs for said 13 y o and realizing the thing they wanted to do only goes up to age 12 and wtf am i going to do this summer as tb really really really needs structured activity and i have multiple books to write speaking of i m doing a couple book related events one online one at a local bookstore over the next week and change online is related to infertility stuff in person is a mishmash that will include published stuff and new stuff how s that for vague i m doing it with a friend who has a new book out but if you know me and want details reach out via email i hope you all are doing well in these times excuse me while i go cry posted by gwinne at 7 10 pm 7 comments labels rboc thursday january 2 2025 happy new year hello friends it s been eons well almost a full year since i ve posted here but as i m processing 2024 and planning for 2025 this blog feels like a space to revisit i just meticulously copied over some questions from shu s year end post and decided most of those questions don t actually speak to me the categories were helpful though so what is new in my world work i m in year 2 of an admin gig which is going moderately well i m good at it and i like most parts of it the parts i don t like i am getting better at outsourcing minimizing or coming up with better systems for unlike my previous admin gig i can detach emotionally from most of it i had a teaching release this past fall and now gearing up for spring class along with a new committee assignment so teaching service will take up a larger percentage of my available work time as is my way i have three active book projects and one making the rounds in hopes of securing a publisher that s a weird hybrid genre book but i really like it and the last rejection hit pretty hard need to regroup and resend mostly at my age 52 and stage of career tenured full professor i am trying hard not to overwork kids tiny boy is 13 lg is almost 21 wtf they are both doing well in their own ways lg is thriving in nursing school third year and working two jobs as emt tb is in 7th grade interested in children s theater soccer and d d but 13 so a lot of rage in my general direction and parenting solo is particularly hard in this respect health well late march i messed up my shoulder arm pretty badly it looked like i was going to need surgery through july and then turned a corner magical cortisone injection into the shoulder joint made it possible for me to make significant progress in physical therapy my range of motion is finally within normal limits in all directions though still limited compared to my non injured arm and there are things i will never be able to do again now i m doing baby strength training quite meticulously given involvement in multiple tendons in the shoulder arm t he process has been emotionally and cognitively challenging in ways i never imagined my physical therapist is an actual former olympian among her many other talents and credentials and i am grateful beyond words for her care favorite media i rewatched a good chunk of the west wing as a way to calm myself before the election really liked the diplomat i don t do many movies at all but the kids and i saw wicked on my birthday and quite enjoyed it though it was definitely 30 minutes too long we also saw the wizard of oz in the actual theater which was a treat i guess there s a theme here other miscellany i have been taking dance classes again ballet mostly which has been challenging with the aforementioned arm injury but really helpful in terms of getting out of my head also experimenting with visual art paper crafts mostly though recent turn toward wire work given my actual job reading is just not relaxing in a way that using my hands body other senses can be anyway i hope you re all well drop me a line in the comments if you actually read this posted by gwinne at 10 33 am 17 comments thursday february 1 2024 rboc where have i been well it s been a while i think this blog is likely coming to the end of its natural life though i d rather not do something as dramatic as announcing i m done i think i did that once and started a blog under my actual name and that didn t go anywhere some of the goings on this week has been unusually expansive in terms of evening hours tiny boy is involved in children s theater and there s a show this week which means tb is at the community center basically from 530 930ish every night tonight start time is 5 00 the downsides lost routines and sleep and not really engaging with each other in a meaningful way the upside i have been taking advantage of evening hours to go to the gym see friends and putter around i continue to think about how to enjoy such hours as they happen more frequently and i don t want to fill them with work although i did a frantic email session for one of those hours tuesday night with french fries this sort of makes up for the fact that for the bulk of january tiny boy couldn t manage to get to school on time and i was calling it a win if they got to school before 10 am ugh i am teaching our senior capstone class for the second time and loving it yesterday i did speed dating writing workshops we did 5 rounds in 75 minutes i d planned to do 6 but my class has a way of talking and talking and derailing my plans which is not a bad thing what else my extracurricular reading right now is clustered around self helpy material on rest and poetry and nonfiction related to jewish history and israel not so interested in novels though dara horn s eternal life which was a winter break read was awesome i don t know if there are any writer types here who are going to kansas city next week but if you are drop me a line in my email or the comments my real alter ego is doing a panel and a couple book signings i hope you re all doing well posted by gwinne at 8 39 am 4 comments saturday november 18 2023 update because apparently i haven t posted since july hello so much as happened since july i can t even adequately account for it i didn t deliberately not post just living life off the screen some goings on since july i took care of lg after a major surgery lg is fine and currently living their best life tiny boy and i took a vacation without lg who didn t want to join us but preferred an apartment with two roommates and two cats i really don t know why haha tiny boy started middle school i started a new admin gig which is going pretty well it s what i like about admin mostly minus the stuff i don t like about admin i had a book come out which has been taking up a lot of time and headspace to support i ve traveled a lot because of the above my actual bff who is another single mother had unexpected surgery which involved some unexpected care work it was cool actually seeing the way her village came together to get things done in a crisis we had a major bathroom remodel finally which took two months and given that was our only full bathroom 5 weeks of that time involved showering at the gym or friend s houses the upshot is that it s november and i have nothing resembling a routine i went to the gym a lot see above i started taking dance classes again ballet at the community center and nia at the gym tiny boy turned 12 last week wtf what is time anymore lg got a new job in the actual town where they live and go to school which means less lg at home but i m hoping that also means when lg comes home they will actually be home and not just using their bedroom to crash before night shifts i bought tiny boy a gizmo watch for the birthday which has shut down the calls for a smart phone which was never going to happen until 13 they can t have phones at school anyway i m sure there was a lot more but these are some significant highlights hope you are doing well now i m getting back to admin work posted by gwinne at 11 36 am 3 comments monday july 10 2023 the hours between 3 and 9 i have had a taste of kid free post kid life this past month first i was out of town for 5 days for a professional conference workshop which was divine but also not in any way indicative of normal life as i was in another city doing highly structured activities from 9 am to 9 pm essentially then i left tiny boy with my mother for what amounted to 72 hours which is both no time at all and also enough of a taste of what life could possibly be like post kid as lg was either at work or at their apartment in college town for the bulk of these hours i managed to fill those hours in productive and enjoyable ways including some intensive work on my current writing project long walks dinners with two friends a third was planned but got rained out and rescheduled a whole movie per night i m slowly working my way through kathryn hahn s oeuvre hobby time weaving a tai chi class and more it was expansive and lovely now certainly it matters that it is summer and i am not on campus i m only on contract and paid for the academic year not the calendar year but still the experience made me realize there are many hours in my evenings that i can sort of reroute now that tiny boy is 11 i haven t fully figured this out yet but it s certainly reasonable for me to take a walk with a friend while tiny boy is in front of the tv which is what he likes to do after camp or take a class at the gym while tiny boy plays basketball or use tiny boy s own scheduled outings for my own grown up plans to be sure we spend plenty of time together watching movies playing games and on various projects around the house part of the difficulty is it s not always clear to me on a given night if tiny boy wants to do his own thing or not which makes it somewhat difficult to schedule right now we are home together as lg has the car i am typing this and tiny boy is playing with lincoln logs and monologuing the entire experience haha anyway i am still sorting this out it s very easy for me to schedule time with friends it s harder to remember i can pick up my weaving while there is nothing else going on observations and ideas welcome as always posted by gwinne at 6 56 pm 4 comments labels parenting a big kid older posts home subscribe to posts atom about me gwinne i m a single mother by choice who happens to be a college professor and writer add the antics of a few years of infertility treatment and recurrent pregnancy loss rants about academe and going up for tenure and you have something remarkable now presenting life on the other side join me and children lg and tiny boy on our adventures as a family of three view my complete profile in which i blog about sleep sleep study random list of blogs i read grumpy rumblings of the formerly untenured 11 hours ago stirrup queens 2 days ago a half baked life 1 week ago not of general interest 4 weeks ago xykademiqz 2 months ago wandering scientist 2 years ago anabegins 4 years ago stressful times for psyc girl 6 years ago the shu box 7 years ago femomhist 7 years ago re imagined 7 years ago susan jett 8 years ago everything comes with pancakes 8 years ago misconceptions about conception 8 years ago glumbunny 9 years ago chasing rainbows 9 years ago claudia cummins 9 years ago lost and found lfca 10 years ago life and love in the petri dish 10 years ago inbetween 10 years ago misfit mrs 10 years ago all in one basket 11 years ago reassigned time 2 0 11 years ago a little pregnant 11 years ago roccie road 11 years ago bionic mamas 12 years ago my preconceived notion 12 years ago single mom 2b 12 years ago future expectations 12 years ago sprogblogger 12 years ago the parents via egg donation organization 12 years ago so much for simple and easy 13 years ago singular desire 13 years ago maddy through the looking glass insert metaphor show 10 show all blog archive 2026 1 april 1 well it s been a year 2025 3 may 1 april 1 january 1 2024 1 february 1 2023 10 november 1 july 1 june 2 may 1 march 2 february 1 january 2 2022 16 november 2 october 1 september 1 august 2 july 1 june 1 april 2 march 1 february 2 january 3 2021 31 november 3 october 1 september 5 august 3 july 4 june 3 may 2 april 1 march 3 february 3 january 3 2020 81 december 1 november 4 october 4 september 4 august 11 july 10 june 9 may 10 april 15 march 8 february 1 january 4 2019 51 december 4 november 2 october 9 september 4 august 3 july 4 june 3 may 2 april 2 march 3 february 5 january 10 2018 64 december 6 november 5 october 2 september 5 august 7 july 8 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