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logan and nerissa mcdowell logan and nerissa mcdowell taking life one small step at a time saturday february 25 2012 months later you know it s a little funny i m fairly sure my mom never once read this blog when logan and i were married however she stumbled upon it recently and said that the two posts on here were not at all my personality they were too sarcastic and cynical then i asked her if we had met my entire personality is practically based on cynicism and absolutely drenched with sarcasm oh well she also said that i sound bitter which i can say i certainly was when i wrote it not bitter so much as just stunned at how things had unfolded anyway i kept up a pretty good monologue on my blog so check it out if you feel so inclined theblogganator wordpress com posted by nerissa at 11 55 am 1 comment friday june 3 2011 it s a funny sort of thing divorce that is one day you re married and one day you re not well more appropriately one day you re married and 1 90 days later you re not and that s where logan and i are somewhere in that limbo between being married legally and both desperately wanting it to be done it s like having a pain in your foot or your arm and you just want to slice it off so that the pain will go away except that the pain is lodged firmly within your soul and heart and there s no way of knowing whether or not it will every go away but i understand that it gets better the more time that passes and i m hopeful that it will in respect of logan s and my privacy i won t go into the details and frankly i don t know all of the details myself but it is fair for me to say that to the best of my knowledge there was no infidelity abuse or any other interesting gossip to go along with this sad state of affairs i think it s easiest to say that we are two people who suddenly have different priorities goals and plans for life and apparently those goals and life plans do not include each other i can still be found on facebook and on my personal blog which is dripping with cynicism my uneducated opinion and vulgarity if you don t know how to find it email me and i ll be happy to link you to it thank you to everyone for all your love and support posted by nerissa at 1 16 pm no comments tuesday april 1 2008 newsweek article i read this article in newsweek last year and i thought i d share it in this venue i ve had it posted on my myspace page since i first read it but it seems relevant again since we moved logan and i have been happily married for 3 yes 3 years i get more and more people who feel compelled to ask me about my pregnancy situation i m not sure why everyone else is so concerned with it yes i have been bitten by the baby bug but the baby bug symptoms come and go anyway i really appreciated this article and hopefully it will give some less tactful individuals reason to keep their mouths shut we do plan on having kids but your nagging doesn t make me want to get going any more than when the nagging comes from someone who s opinion in that area my parents logan s parents our immediate familes that means our brothers and sisters with kids so really that s only craig and ann really matters to us i hate to sound rude and it s not like i don t care about your opinion i just don t care about your opinions about when i plan on starting my family thanks anyway anyway here s the article i am at a party chatting with a woman i know slightly as her young son squirms out of her embrace she slips her hand under my shirt she s not getting fresh with me she s touching my tummy with her cold hand and asking me in a concerned voice why aren t you pregnant yet i smile break free from her touch and head to the food table to fill said empty belly with her brat s birthday cake i love children and definitely plan on having them maternal instinct is oozing out of my pores i ve infantilized my dogs i ve gotten down on my hands and knees at the park with babies i barely know my marriage is wonderful and solid and we are both blessed with good health i ve been a nanny a teacher a youth group leader i ve taken childhood development courses solely for the purpose of someday raising happy balanced children i have always looked forward to becoming a mother so why don t i have kids or even the inkling right now it s because of you yes you the fanatical mothers of the world it may seem like ages ago now but you weren t always like this you too were sneering at the obnoxious parents who brought their infants to fancy adult nighttime restaurants or r rated movies and let them carry on ruining things for other patrons you ve been terrible advertising for the club that you so desperately need others to join if you want me to join your ranks and you ve made it clear with your cold clammy hands on my stomach that recruiting my uterus is of paramount importance to you i need to set some ground rules first please stop asking me when i m going to get pregnant for all you know i cannot have kids for all i know i cannot have kids as i have not yet tried but imagine how painful this line of interrogation would be if i had submitted to all kinds of procedures only to come up empty wombed it would be emotionally devastating yet ever since the day after my wedding two years ago i have fielded this question from the eye doctor the dental assistant my yoga teacher the bagger at the grocery store all of them feel entitled to ask don t it s none of your business next don t completely abandon your own life and passions you re setting a bad example for aspiring mothers to be like me i recently expressed my happiness over an achievement i had at work to a mother friend of mine she said dripping with condescension well you don t know happiness until you ve had a baby that s very possible but don t rain on my parade as i ve never said to you remind me when you went to that expensive college you majored in diaper rash prevention right i happen to love my job it fulfills me in ways no other person even a child could i learned through my own mother s example that the best lesson you can teach your kids is to pursue their passions it s not selfish to have your own life in fact it s selfish not to now let s talk a bit about manners as in please teach your children some the world has rules and kids should learn them and being well mannered does not infringe on their individuality and freedom i crouched to meet the eye line of an acquaintance s 4 year old to greet her and in response she punched me in the face so hard my mouth bled what was more baffling was the mother s reaction nothing to the child but to me she said very sternly you really shouldn t talk down to kids i also shouldn t be punched in the face by kids whose parents don t know how to set basic boundaries experiences like this don t exactly encourage me to hurry up and get pregnant finally don t make your kid an extension of your own narcissism no one could possibly love your kids as much as you do so stop inflicting them on others don t bring your kid to adult parties when you re not sure if it s kid friendly if they didn t invite your kid they don t want your kid there if you don t want to get a babysitter stay home my husband thinks some people particularly mothers behave in these ways because it helps them validate their own choices but he doesn t truly understand how infuriating it is and that s because nobody badgers men with questions about procreation becoming a parent was your decision and i am thrilled for you all i m asking is that you let me make that choice in my own time and keep your hands off my belly posted by nerissa at 11 43 am 3 comments home subscribe to posts atom blog archive 2012 1 february 1 months later 2011 1 june 1 2008 1 april 1 about me logan nerissa nerissa s guilty time wasters bits pieces speaking of jellyfish i ll pass on swimming 3 hours ago lolcats n funny pictures of cats i can has cheezburger couple rescues terrified kitten from neighboring building and she attaches herself to the woman 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