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his is natural and you shouldn t rush around doing anything either way but you need to live aware of the fact that life is a lot short than you think before you know it you re going to turn around and be 30 and when this happens you re going to wonder where all the time you wasted went create a bucket list make plans and get out there and do all those things you ve always wanted to do as you grow older you ll find the only things you regret are the things you didn t do zachary scott looking for happily ever after since we were little tykes through t v movies books and stories of all kinds we ve been fed the idea of happily ever after that is when you can gain the perfect conditions for happiness and an overall great life such as your special someone your ideal house a nice job and the like then the rest of your life you ll remain blissfully happy this idea is never more present than when we re in our 20 s setting out in the world for the first time searching for ourselves and striving for our goals but happily ever after isn t at all true nothing will magically make you happy for the rest of your life but this isn t a bad thing and it doesn t mean we can t find happiness on the contrary you don t have to wait 3 5 or 10 years to find happiness the conditions for an amazing life all exist right now within you you don t need to find the one you don t need to make more money and you don t need to get rid of your problems you can be happy right now in this very moment by fully accepting yourself embracing your struggles and realizing that it s through these very things that you can see the beauty in life stop waiting for the perfect conditions to start really living realize you can be truly happy right now by embracing life fully with open arms 40 712775 74 005973 share this share on pinterest opens in new window pinterest share on telegram opens in new window telegram share on whatsapp opens in new window whatsapp print opens in new window print more share on x opens in new window x share on linkedin opens in new window linkedin share on tumblr opens in new window tumblr email a link to a friend opens in new window email share on facebook opens in new window facebook share on reddit opens in new window reddit like loading featured posted on october 7 2018 categories stop waiting for the perfect conditions to start really living uncategorized tags bebloggerofficial conditions living life really living 20 comments on stop waiting for the perfect conditions to start really living how to increase your willpower the willpower response is a reaction to an internal conflict you want to do one thing such as smoke a cigarette or supersize your lunch but know you shouldn t or you know you should do something like file your taxes or go to the gym but you d rather do nothing okay we know that we only have so much willpower and as we go about our day stress and normal self control deplete our resource let s see what options we have for increasing the pool of willpower we have to draw from increase your capacity for pressure learn how to manage stress to start with we need to manage our stress levels being under high levels of stress means that our body s energy is used up in acting instinctively and making decisions based on short term outcomes our prefrontal cortex loses out in the battle for our energy when high stress is involved it is said that stopping to take a few deep breaths when we feel overwhelmed or tempted can be a great start in managing our stress levels and improving our willpower encourage yourself to stick to your plan to make it even easier it appears that self affirmation can even help you to have more self control when you re running out according to a study published in the journal of personality and social psychology a good example of this is the difference between telling yourself i can t and i don t taking back control of the situation using the phrase i don t has been shown to be more effective at helping you to stick to your plan and break bad habits so try telling yourself that you don t do that bad habit rather than punishing yourself by saying i can t get more sleep to help your brain manage energy better getting enough sleep makes a big difference in how efficiently our prefrontal cortex works luckily it also cites studies that have shown we can make this work in our favor by ensuring we get enough sleep and if you re wondering how much sleep is enough here s a rough guide one of the most acclaimed sleep researchers daniel kripke found in a recent study that people who sleep between 6 5 hours and 7 5 hours a night live the longest are happier and most productive meditate for as little as 8 weeks meditation has also been linked to increasing the reserve of willpower we have available as well as improving attention focus stress management and self awareness this can even give fast results better exercise and nutrition the most ignored route to higher willpower another great way to train the brain that is often easily ignored or undervalued yet can make you a lot more resilient to stress and thus boost willpower is regular physical exercise both relaxing mindful exercise like yoga and intense physical training can provide these benefits though points out that we re not sure why this works yet as i mentioned earlier what you feed your body affects how much energy the prefrontal cortex has to work with this is why nutrition is so important not only will exercise and good nutrition improve your willpower but they ll make you feel better as well exercise in particular is known for making us happy by releasing endorphins postpone things for later to gain focus on what s important now postponing something you really shouldn t have can be effective if you re trying to break a bad habit in willpower rediscovering the greatest human strength roy f baumeister explains that people who tell themselves not now but later are generally less tormented by the temptation of something they are trying to avoid his example is eating chocolate cake 40 712775 74 005973 share this share on pinterest opens in new window pinterest share on telegram opens in new window telegram share on whatsapp opens in new window whatsapp print opens in new window print more share on x opens in new window x share on linkedin opens in new window linkedin share on tumblr opens in new window tumblr email a link to a friend opens in new window email share on facebook opens in new window facebook share on reddit opens in new window reddit like loading featured posted on october 5 2018 categories how to increase your willpower uncategorized tags inspiration bebloggerofficial believing life strength truth willpower 11 comments on how to increase your willpower love attachment or sexual desire the world is little people are little human life is little there is only one big thing desire from time to time our romantic relationships can be difficult to understand part of this confusion stems from the fact that our relationships are influenced by three powerful yet separate emotional systems often these three emotional systems work together to create satisfying outcomes but that s not always the case sometimes these three emotional systems compete with each other leading to mixed feelings and confusion love the first emotional system entails love and love in and of itself is composed of a complex set of feelings love often entails feelings of closeness genuine appreciation and concern but the experience of love is not the same for everyone for some people love is delusional and needy or based on emotional game playing or experienced as the desire to take care of another person attachment the second emotional system involves attachment attachment is the feeling of security and comfort we get from being close to someone else attachment provides a sense of stability certainty and safety the feeling that someone will always be there for you in a time of need and as with love there are individual differences in the experience of attachment sexual desire the last emotional system is sexual desire sexual desire involves the lustful sexually passionate feelings people have for each other sexual desire is a very intense and powerful emotion it can cloud one s judgment and prompt risk taking sexual desire is often based on physical appearance novelty and the chemistry between two people and while sexual desire motivates a lot of our behaviors early on in a relationship intense levels of sexual desire are difficult to maintain with the same person over the course of time again these three emotional systems can work together to produce a healthy and satisfying relationship sexual desire can turn into feelings of love resulting in a lasting attachment however these basic emotional systems do not necessarily work in sync over time long term it can be difficult to find one person who consistently satisfies all three needs in many cases these three emotional systems work against each other creating competing desires and interests for instance it s possible to be attached to one romantic partner be in love with someone else and have sexual desire for yet another person being aware of these competing emotions and that not everyone experiences love and attachment in the same way often helps us to make sense of the problems that arise in our romantic relationships 40 712775 74 005973 share this share on pinterest opens in new window pinterest share on telegram opens in new window telegram share on whatsapp opens in new window whatsapp print opens in new window print more share on x opens in new window x share on linkedin opens in new window linkedin share on tumblr opens in new window tumblr email a link to a friend opens in new window email share on facebook opens in new window facebook share on reddit opens in new window reddit like loading featured posted on september 30 2018 categories love attachment or sexual desire uncategorized tags attachment bebloggerofficial life love sexual desire truth 9 comments on love attachment or sexual desire how to release emotions stuck in your body and let go of the pain whenever something bad happens keep calm take a few deep breaths and shift the focus to something positive someone crushed my heart pretty badly it was one of those breakups you don t see coming the kind of heartbreak you never thought could happen to you but it happened to me and i lost myself for a while i was in so much pain i wanted nothing more than to get rid of it so i did but the only way to heal emotional pain quickly is by running away from it and i knew that wasn t something i could do one of the main messages in my breathwork teaching is to feel everything even when it s excruciating but i was so tired of feeling the pain i just wanted it to disappear we re wired to run from pain we want to get as far away from it as possible whether that means pushing it away or finding a way to go numb the problem with those approaches is that they create bigger problems in the form of disease anxiety and emotional stagnation if you re someone who wants to live a deeply fulfilling life you have to learn to face your pain i know it doesn t sound appealing but ignoring your pain will only make it worse over time only by staring it right in the face and really dealing with it can you find the richness beauty and joy that comes with true freedom which do you want for your life why do emotions get stuck in the body any emotional energy that we don t fully experience and process can get trapped in the body when we talk ourselves out of feeling how we really do how many times have you told yourself it is ridiculous to get upset over this or not worth upsetting dad to bring up those types of situations cause you to be at risk for trapping emotions emotions want a voice and if they are not acknowledged they won t go away when we are isolated at the time of the event when we are isolated while dealing with a stressful event we are at risk for trapped emotions i believe this is because it is human nature to find comfort in the sharing of our emotions positive and negative when we can t reach out we may be less likely to really feel them and experience them it often feels safer to let go emotionally with someone else when we have never experienced something similar before not having any coping skills for the specific event that s bringing up negative emotions can really leave us stuck if it s the first time you are experience something a death of a loved one for instance you are more likely to freeze emotionally than you would be if you had coping skills for the situation you would be more likely to have coping skills if you learned them during an earlier similar life event the top most commonly stuck emotions the top emotions on my list are the ones i see most often in most people now remember these are just the ones that i commonly find to be lodged in the body certain events or years of your life can create different types of emotions and even multiples of the same ones these are just a general list of what comes up most during my sessions with clients and for myself also keep in mind they don t all have to get stuck negative emotions aren t bad they can only harm if you don t let them go 1 anxiety while this is a commonly described emotion my experience is that there is other suppressed emotion under it creating a feeling of anxiousness it s best to find what is making you feel anxious instead of using the catch all of anxiety to describe what you re experiencing 2 disgusted a feeling of loathing when good taste or moral sense is offended a strong aversion disgust is a feeling that is low enough on the radar to not say anything about it s not like anger where you can lose your temper and it comes bellowing out disgust is more of an internal ruminating that one often keeps to themselves and festers over 3 grief stricken intense emotional suffering caused by loss disaster misfortune etc an acute sorrow and deep sadness a universal reaction to bereavement also can be feeling harassed vexed or exasperated grief is something that we don t often have time for there are so many things humans have the tendency to grieve over we often need to grieve over the loss of something we never attain a job for example our expectations the actions of a friend who doesn t meet them and many many other things it s easily overlooked because we don t see things as important enough to take the time to say we re really feeling that loss unless it s something we think is big enough like the death of a loved one 4 criticized criticized includes being criticized by others and also negative self talk e g iʼm such an idiot blaming the self etc illnesses can be forms of self abuse e g i don t deserve to be healed we are masters at this this one becomes easily stuck because we do it so often to ourselves and we are usually the last people we will give a break to many people are willing to forgive others more e...
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