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ems he only has the boyz well grown men desperately trying to hang on to their youth snarky comments and margarita nights once a month to help him figure out if even the most meaningless relationships ironically have meaning after all jared s biggest fear is ending up alone his current relationship is not as stable as he once thought his love for his partner doesn t seem enough to him any longer he doesn t know if he has the courage and strength to walk away from a good relationship to maybe find a better relationship he just knows that love doesn t seem enough he just isn t sure what price he is willing to pay to hopefully find his happily ever after on any given friday night i can be found drinking margaritas and listening perhaps adding a tidbit or two to the gayvine as per the guidelines on your website i have included the first ten pages of my completed manuscript thank you for your time and consideration posted by rick daley at 9 34 am 8 comments labels commercial fiction gay lesbian sample pages a profusion of want click here to read the query i was sixteen years old the first time i met grey koniges at a high school chess tournament in a crappy gym on a dreary day the bleachers were less than a quarter full only the most tenacious of parents and contenders staying to watch the championship match they shifted constantly under the fluorescent lights searching for a comfortable position on the hard benches many stifled yawns and a few grandparents and small children were asleep one father s pockets bulged with cash he d gotten from selling the puzzles in his sudoku book to other parents for five dollars a piece but all of the puzzles had been solved hours before and now all there was to do was wait and watch the only sounds were the recurring sniffle of a child with a bad cold and the light patter of rain against the roof and high grimy windows down on the main floor folding card tables were arranged in a neat grid across the lines of the basketball court all except one were laden with finished games pawns discarded queens attacking kings fallen abandoned battlefields it had been a long day i wasn t particularly good at chess i had the potential to be since i was intelligent enough and had been told both by people who liked me and those who did not that i had an aggressive and cunning mind however i lacked the interest or the patience protracted battles weren t my thing the only reason i was there at all was to get a few points extra credit from my math teacher mrs mendez which would push my grade from a tenuous b to a solid b before the tournament mrs mendez had pulled me away from the chess team whose pimply super intelligent members were somewhat skeptical about my participation to reassure me that i wasn t expected to win and that i should just try to have a good time mrs mendez was new to the school she didn t know me well she didn t know that i didn t start things if i thought i would do poorly in them and i never ever lost it was the last round of the tournament and i was winning my opponent was a boy several years younger than me small for his age with thick glasses and thin limbs i d forgotten his name but he looked like a simon simon had obviously skipped a few grades as mrs mendez had told me in an excited whisper he d blown through all of his previous games more quickly than was strictly polite i on the other hand had won my previous five rounds through sheer determination and the occasional lucky guess simon s face was pinched as he examined our board contemplating his next move i had fewer pieces left than he did but while most of his were pawns most of mine weren t finally he reached forward setting one small hand on his queen the beginnings of a grin on his face that i did not like at all i could practically hear the audience take a collective deep breath i m going to win you know i said tapping one of my murdered pawns lightly against the edge of the table simon blinked and pulled his hand away the audience exhaled oh yeah he tilted his head and squinted at me suspiciously yeah i said leaning back in my squeaky chair and crossing my arms over my chest i ignored the ache in my back from sitting in one position too long you know why he twitched his eyes darting from my face to the board and back again why i smirked because i know exactly what you re going to do next you re predictable it ll be all too easy come on kid mess up i thought intently we ll see about that he blustered but now his forehead was furrowed and there was fear in his eyes he reached for the queen again his hand hovering over her he stayed like that for almost a minute before he let out a put upon sigh and moved his remaining bishop instead i smoothed a hand down my face to conceal my grin whatever simon had been about to do with that queen would have been bad for me i was sure even better now that i d made him flinch once i knew how to do it again a studied slouch to my posture a certain gleam in my eye at the right time and he was lost five moves later simon used his stubby pointer finger to tip over his king then slumped back in his chair staring at the board and wondering when exactly things had gone so wrong the moderator who d been struggling to stay awake while watching the progress of the game from a chair a few feet away didn t realize at first what had happened it was only when i stood to shake simon s hand that his eyes widened and he leapt to his feet he cleared his throat and announced shale peterson is the winner the audience burst into a smattering of applause most of the parents headed eagerly for the exits their disheartened children by their sides a few came across the gymnasium floor to offer their congratulations mrs mendez foremost among them she seemed to bounce with each step beaming with astonished pride i can t believe it she told me near tears i m so proud of you shale she seized me by the arm her hands like pincers and pulled me toward the mob of well wishers and enthusiasts they congratulated me and shook my hand and used a lot of chess terms i didn t know however did you think to set that trap for his knight one man asked i shrugged intuition they all laughed well i knew all along that she would go far mrs mendez kept saying arm around my shoulders one of my best students you know she winked and tapped my forehead with one long nailed finger mind like a steel trap i didn t much care for public attention that wasn t the reason i was so competitive and the approbation from my fans quickly became too much i tried to step back but found myself held in place by mrs mendez s iron grip she was conversing so enthusiastically with a young man holding a notepad a news reporter perhaps that she didn t seem to have noticed my attempt to move finally i smiled awkwardly and told the group excuse me i need to grab a drink of water with a twist of my body only possible because i was a tae kwon do student i slipped out from under mrs mendez s arm and made my escape the water fountain was in an alcove out of sight of the main floor and for a few minutes i just leaned against the sticky wall with my eyes closed feeling oddly tired i could hear the murmur of voices and the squeaks of tennis shoes against the laminated wooden floor after a moment i realized that i really was thirsty and held down the round metal button only to watch in annoyance as a dribble of water seeped half heartedly from the spout some might say that that was bad sportsmanship the voice came from behind me and was rich and deep and sounded like it should have had a british accent i jerked with surprise banging my hip painfully against the fountain as i spun around to face the man who had spoken he was very tall and handsome in a way too old for me kind of way with a firm jaw and a full head of thick black hair that had a hint of white at the edges his suit looked expensive not that i was any kind of judge a half smile played along his lips he had the most extraordinary grey eyes piercing and intelligent and unsettling suddenly chilled i rubbed my arms feeling goose bumps i don t know what you re talking about i said leaning away from him and setting my chin in that stubborn way my mother hated i never broke the rules i wasn t sure why he made me feel so uncomfortable we were in a public place if i raised my voice there was a crowd of people who would rush to my aid i never said you did he said nor am i chastising you that was well done oh that was unexpected and didn t make me any better thanks he seemed to be waiting for me to say something else and at last i blurted are you some kind of chess talent scout or something because i m not interested he laughed and shook his head i m a scout of sorts but not of chess he said his hands were empty but he gave his right hand a little flourish and suddenly he was holding a business card between his index and middle finger i fought the urge to roll my eyes i was a little too old to be impressed by magic tricks he held out the card and i took it tucking it into the pocket of my jeans without looking at it i m grey grey koniges he said keeping his hand out the name sent a strange little tingle down my spine it felt like a warning i hesitated in most situations i didn t go around giving my name to strangers of course that caution seemed silly given the way my name in bold capital letters was currently being pinned at the top of the tournament chart for all to see shale i said taking his hand which was pleasantly warm and making sure that my grip was as strong as his interesting name he said i nodded extracting my hand from his there was the briefest moment of resistance as if he didn t want to let me go isn t it though it was nice to meet you i shoved my hands in my pockets and began to walk away weren t you going to have a drink he called after me i turned back my eyes narrowed the fountain doesn t work oh he leaned over the water fountain pressed the button and took a long slow gulp as sparkling water arched from the spout posted by rick daley at 6 21 am 6 comments labels sample pages query south beach star revision 2 click here to read the original query click here to read the first revision jamie kidd a thirty something writer thinks life is sweet until he wakes to discover that his business partner and secret lover has left town after emptying the company bank account which leaves him heartbroken penniless and somewhat suicidal jamie opts for a new life and escapes to the infamous south beach where he finds fleeting success and celebrity as a nightlife columnist for south beach star where his star burns brightly but eventually falls from the sky without looking back jamie kidd leaves the small virginia town that he called home for the past six years heartbroken and drowning in despair jamie can barely face himself much less his family or friends who know nothing of his hidden relationship packing in the middle of the night for a new life jamie drives until he lands in miami feeling out of place in the tropical paradise known as south beach jamie discovers a town where beauty and wealth outclass talent and skill after a chance meeting with the gregarious editor of south beach star a trendy tabloid staffed with a motley crew of competitive social climbers jamie lands a job as editorial assistant as promised writing assignments never material jamie turns an invitation to a vip party into an opportunity his coverage of the celebrity party proves jamie s talent and secures him the position as the star s weekly nightlife columnist and toast of the town south beach opens its arms and doors to jamie who like an actor taking on a new role throws himself into his fabulous new lifestyle covering the infamous celebrity studded party scene where he nightly mingles with beautiful shallow fashionistas famous models and wealthy jet setters not accustomed to being fabulous or a party boy jamie transforms himself into the nightlife aficionado named kidd with bleached hair designer fashions celebrity friends and invitations to every party in town his coveted lifestyle in reality is an out of control roller coaster ride of late night parties and photo ops fueled by his gradual addiction to crystal meth like many before him jamie loses control and finds himself jobless lonely and in a situation far worse than the one he had left in virginia with the gutter looming ahead his former lover arrives unexpectedly offering jamie a job as a writer in new york but he eventually returns to south beach as a south beach nightlife columnist i covered the waterfront low tide and high from 1995 to 2006 i moved to miami from virginia where i was the editor of a statewide arts entertainment publication for over ten years i covered south beach nightlife for several publications including the weekly tabloids the wire and sunpost i ve also been a contributing writer for publications such as v magazine zed magazine miamigo ocean drive genre fashion times miami metro where magazine lrm where guestbook public magazine ego trip and the miami herald south beach star is approximately 65 000 words posted by rick daley at 6 15 am 2 comments labels guess the genre newer posts older posts home subscribe to posts atom submit queries here submit queries here query and writing resources agentquery com genre descriptions agentquery com how to write a query colleen lindsay word counts and novel length critiquing critiques editorial anonymous tips on your bio janet reid effective query class janet reid how to make sure your query is instantly rejected janet reid what to do when an agent says no jessica faust slushpile agent interview jessica faust publishing dictionary nathan bransford ten commandments for the happy writer nathan bransford the anatomy of a good query letter i nathan bransford the anatomy of a good query letter ii nathan bransford the basic query letter formula nathan bransford writing advice database query shark labels adult fantasy 1 adventure 9 agent advice 4 agent interview 2 agent request 1 award 1 book release 1 book review 1 chapter book 2 chick lit 3 children s 9 christian fiction 16 christmas 1 cinder clouds 1 comedy 1 coming of age 1 commercial fiction 20 contemporary 1 contemporary romance 1 contest 10 cozy mystery 1 crime 11 cyberpunk 1 dark fantasy 1 dystopian fiction 2 epic fantasy 18 erotic 1 experiment 1 family drama 2 family saga 1 fantasy 154 faq 26 fiction novel 1 first person shooter punk 1 fps punk 1 fun 1 gay lesbian 6 general advice 5 general fiction 1 guess the genre 39 historical fiction 19 historical fantasy 1 horror 13 humor 5 ladlit 3 links 2 literary fiction 27 medical 2 medieval 3 memoir 4 middle grade 42 multicultural 1 mystery 23 mythology 1 narrative 1 nathan bransford 2 new age 2 non fiction 5 novella 11 paranormal 69 picture book 11 psychological 2 query me this 11 quirky 1 romance 77 romantic suspense 1 sample pages 25 satire 1 science 1 science fiction 44 short story 3 show and no 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