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ons designed to make people feel comfortable and good forget about what it takes in time and energy to pull this off what emotions are raised by people pleasing do you feel happy and gratified by people s responses to your efforts or do you feel angry exhausted and drained because of the constant pressure to continue this behavior do you worry that people will be disappointed in you if you quit this behavior and stop doing for others are you afraid that people won t appreciate you unless you continue pleasing them or worse that they ll have no use for you if you change your behavior there s a big difference between doing good and people pleasing there s nothing wrong with doing good deeds for others it s part of being human and it s part of what we do for the people we care about and those who need us giving our time energy and sometimes money is how we contribute to society how we often give back to our community losing perspective about how much and how often one gives of themselves may take you into the territory where the balance of what is healthy giving and what is giving for the wrong reasons is shifted when you need to people please much of the time even with people you barely know you ve gone too far here are some things to consider in order to get back on track so that giving to others feels healthy balanced and satisfactory take care of yourself and your own needs giving beyond your capacity may exhaust you leaving you to feel pressured drained and overwhelmed perhaps you neglect what s most important to you because you feel pleasing others is a priority behavior when you put others needs ahead of your own you re signaling to yourself that your needs are not as important as theirs that your needs can wait that taking the time for yourself feels indulgent and selfish and by the way very importantly what are your needs can you identify them or have you lost touch with who you are and what is important to you assess your priorities too often with people pleasing you automatically jump in and say yes before thinking if you really want to do something for someone else you may feel obligated to say yes because that response becomes the right thing to do but for all the wrong reasons next time a situation arises consciously stop to think about it before you commit to doing it thinking consciously takes work and practice choose the people that you really want to please on an ongoing basis this might be a very small group spouse significant other children immediate family dear friends get clear about this in your own mind giving to people you really care about will hopefully please them casual acquaintances needy people hangers on and wannabe friends as nice as they may be should not become top priority the exception of course is when specific situations arise in life where people may really need your help please yourself first this may be a new behavior for you imagine what it would be like to do what makes you feel good what pleases you without worrying about taking care of others fulfilling others demands worrying what others think of you or feeling guilty because you re not doing enough for those around you imagine what it would be like to say no instead of the automatic obligatory yes so that you have the time and the energy to do for yourself when you truly value yourself you will know how to help others in a way that honors and respects both of you 40 712775 74 005973 share this share on pinterest opens in new window pinterest share on telegram opens in new window telegram share on whatsapp opens in new window whatsapp print opens in new window print more share on x opens in new window x share on linkedin opens in new window linkedin share on tumblr opens in new window tumblr email a link to a friend opens in new window email share on facebook opens in new window facebook share on reddit opens in new window reddit like loading featured posted on august 10 2018 august 11 2018 categories are you a people pleaser uncategorized tags letting go life pleaser 11 comments on are you a people pleaser a daydreaming mind you can spend your time daydreaming or make use of it in other ways i was trying to daydream but my mind kept wandering they say there s no harm in daydreaming but there is if you don t daydream your life is a nightmare it was always about what will i become how good i will perform how will i make my parents proud how will i look cool in my peer group until a series of accidental happenings took place to awaken me to the truth don t think to avoid life but just live to experience it the only problem with most of us is that generally we don t tend to learn until we suffer learning from other s experiences is not considered so cool i guess as making mistakes and then making corrections is not thinking here doesn t mean not planning your day or events you need to be organized to have a fruitful day because it is an action that should make the major part of a day which depends on our prior planning this though observes digression in the form of overthinking about the results and what all might or might not happen in future by planning you do yourself a favor of staying organized and taking time out for everything in a day but by overthinking and fearing thoughts you only kill the chances of living a happy life there are things to do and then things to observe there are things to say and then things to listen too there are things to direct and then there are things to obey too experiencing life can be the only way to do it efficiently a daydreaming mind when most people are caught daydreaming and asked what re you thinking about they normally answer with the standard nothing 99 of the time that s actually not true in fact it s incredibly difficult to clear your mind of all thoughts entirely in actuality when people say they are thinking about nothing they re actually thinking about the more mundane aspects of life the bills they have to pay the meals they have to cook or the dates they have to remember but what if you could occupy your daydreaming mind with something a little more interesting positive and negative effects of daydreaming many people use daydreaming as a way to escape their daily life or even the moment that they are in at the time while daydreaming can provide a quick method to get away from reality it can also be a healthy method for dealing with certain situations and ideas daydreaming normally has a negative connotation but it can be useful when you need to induce creativity or a few minutes of relaxation depending on the way you use your daydreaming time it can be either a positive or a negative way to spend some of your free time the negative aspects of daydreaming one way in which daydreaming can be harmful to your way of life is if you do it too much there is a time where daydreaming can be useful and productive but at other times it can cause you to lose focus and forget important information if you are at work or trying to complete an important task daydreaming can interfere with your productivity and cause you to either slow down or stop completely for a matter of minutes if your job consists of operating heavy machinery daydreaming can even be harmful to your health if you allow it to reduce your concentration daydreaming can also be harmful to your mental health if you are constantly having negative thoughts while most people daydream about fantasies and other desirable events others might be daydreaming about doing something harmful to themselves or others there have been many cases of suicidal people driving along the road and daydreaming about crashing into a tree sometimes these types of daydreaming fantasies can be rather involved with a great deal of detail it is almost like a plan rather than a fantasy when it involves something that could cause harm daydreaming is likely to be a detrimental quality positive aspects of daydreaming on the other hand you can use daydreaming to your advantage one way you can do this is to set aside time each day for daydreaming even though this is often a spontaneous action you can still set a certain time when you sit in a quiet spot and begin daydreaming many people find this to be an ideal stress reliever after a long day of work this can also be a stress relieving technique after a major argument with a friend loved one or even after a traumatic life event daydreaming allows your mind to wander and forget about reality for a short time this attribute alone can help you keep your sanity when you are going through some rough times by allowing yourself to escape from a stressful situation you can return to the situation with a new attitude and possibly even a solution to the problem that may be causing the stress daydreaming helps your mind relax in addition to relieving stress daydreaming is also a way that many people choose to relax daydreaming allows your mind to take a break for the duration of the entire time you allow your mind to wander since it lets your mind take a break you can often return from a session daydreaming with a refreshed and renewed mind oftentimes this might be all you need to return to a task and complete it oftentimes working on the same thing for a long period can cause your mind to get bored and stop focusing on it daydreaming can relieve your mind from the issue for a few minutes and as a result return refreshed and ready to complete it daydreaming helps you manage conflict others might choose to use daydreaming as a means to manage conflict this is often referred to as organized daydreaming and it involves a visualization of different ways to deal with existing conflicts or ones that may arise using this method of daydreaming helps review specific situations in your head so you can be prepared for a variety of occurrences for instance you might often daydream about what you would do if somebody tried to mug you on the street by using organized daydreaming you can visualize several different possible scenarios so you can be better prepared in case it happens daydreaming helps you maintain relationships another positive effect of daydreaming is that it can help you maintain your relationships when couples or friends are apart daydreaming about spending time with them can often help you feel like you are still together you can either daydream about the times that you have spent together in the past or you can daydream about what you would do with your friends or significant others in certain situations for instance if you have moved far away from your circle of friends you can daydream about how it might be if you were with them when you got a new and exciting job while daydreaming is not the same as being with those special people in your life it can help you remember them fondly and keep you thinking about them rather than letting them slip out of your mind daydreaming helps boost productivity daydreaming can also be used as an efficient method for boosting productivity if you allow a few minutes in the middle of the day to daydream about a problem you are having at work or in other situations your mind may think of a variety of ways to solve that problem daydreaming can also help elevate your mood that will make you feel better overall the better you feel the more likely you are to be productive as a result you are more motivated to complete a job or a task and move on to the next challenge daydreaming helps you achieve your goals since daydreaming helps you get motivated and boost your productivity it can help you achieve your goals as well if you can daydream of being successful at a certain task or even in a certain position in life you are more likely to reach your goals visualization is often an important key to striving towards a destination it is a common method utilized by performers athletes and other professionals whom society would consider successful therefore it can also work for you daydreaming can help you focus if your goal is to write for comedy television but you are a comedian you can visualize yourself working through the ranks until you become a writer for a television show this is true for any industry following this example daydreaming can help you concentrate and focus on a higher goal for yourself the more you think about your ultimate goal and focus on the steps to achieving that goal the more likely you will be to reach it you might even reach your goal faster if you are using your daydreaming times and efforts efficiently although daydreaming is generally used as a negative characteristic you can use this technique to your advantage daydreaming not only boosts your creativity and problem solving skills but it also helps you concentrate and focus on a specific task it helps your mind wander to thoughts and areas that it might not wonder if you had not set aside time for daydreaming if used efficiently and effectively daydreaming can be one of the most important techniques that you can use to achieve your ultimate goals 40 712775 74 005973 share this share on pinterest opens in new window pinterest share on telegram opens in new window telegram share on whatsapp opens in new window whatsapp print opens in new window print more share on x opens in new window x share on linkedin opens in new window linkedin share on tumblr opens in new window tumblr email a link to a friend opens in new window email share on facebook opens in new window facebook share on reddit opens in new window reddit like loading featured posted on august 6 2018 august 9 2018 categories a daydreaming mind don t think to avoid life but just live to experience it why life meets failure tags biggerpicture inspiration bebloggerofficial daydream life 1 comment on a daydreaming mind depression and the brain i don t fear death so much as i fear its prologues loneliness decrepitude pain debilitation depression senility after a few years of those i imagine death presents as a holiday at the beach the onset of depression brings about questions and doubts about myself things like am i doing the right thing in my life are my relationships all they can be am i really a valuable person depression can answer these questions in some pretty sad and discouraging ways you re on the wrong track for life change course now or forever be a failure you re dragging down the people you love best to leave them behind no you can t possibly be valuable not with all your problems anyone who has ever experienced depression knows thoughts like these thoughts of worthlessness of utter despair at the thought of oneself maybe even disgust or repulsion depression can really make the mirror a difficult sight to see every status you have is called into question are you a good enough parent friend sibling child partner all of these aspects of life are fair game for depression to leak into and try to poison and it can be easy to let it fighting depression is a monumental task many don t realize the difficulty of it s especially hard when it makes you...
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