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ou can do it when the 30 days have passed if you still want it then buy it but you can t buy anything besides essentials like groceries without putting it on the list for 30 days first many times our urges to buy something will pass during this waiting period declutter i find it pretty amazing to see all the crap i buy over a period of years when i go through my closets and other possessions and start getting rid of stuff i don t use or want anymore it s a gratifying process and at the same time it makes me realize how useless all our consumer shopping is i don t need any of the stuff when you do this you may be less likely to buy more stuff especially if you enjoy the decluttered look of your house as much as i do find other forms of entertainment there are other things to do besides watch tv or movies or read magazines or newspapers or the internet try playing sports or exercising or playing board games or creating art or writing or reading a book try doing fun things with your kids or visiting relatives and other loved ones try volunteering with a charity i m sure you could come up with 100 free or cheap things to do buy used when you get the urge to buy something and you re convinced that it s needed try finding it used instead of new look in thrift shops or garage sales or flea markets or similar places a true path to happiness so if you re able to escape materialism how can you find true happiness there are many ways and each of us is different but here are some things i suggest trying grateful list make a list of things about which you re grateful in your life give thanks for them daily think positive try eliminating negative thinking from your life and thinking positive instead small pleasures make a list of small things that give you great pleasure sprinkle them throughout your day notice other small pleasures as you go through your day kindness practice random acts of kindness and compassion do it anonymously help those in need volunteer make someone smile love make an intimate connection with your loved ones develop your friendships spend time with them converse understand them make them happy health exercise and eat healthy it sounds trite but it can bring great happiness to your life meaning it s often useful to find meaning either through a church or spiritual way or through those we love in life or through the things we re passionate about give yourself a purpose flow eliminate distractions and really pour yourself into whatever you re doing if it s writing an article like this one really put yourself into it until you forget the outside world know yourself become attuned to what brings you happiness study yourself learn about what you love and about your ability to love increase your capacity for compassion 40 712775 74 005973 share this share on pinterest opens in new window pinterest share on telegram opens in new window telegram share on whatsapp opens in new window whatsapp print opens in new window print more share on x opens in new window x share on linkedin opens in new window linkedin share on tumblr opens in new window tumblr email a link to a friend opens in new window email share on facebook opens in new window facebook share on reddit opens in new window reddit like loading featured posted on august 15 2018 categories how i stopped feeling trapped in a life i didn t want uncategorized tags inspiration bebloggerofficial facts life limitation materialistic truth 11 comments on how i stopped feeling trapped in a life i didn t want banish your guilt demons i feel like i don t deserve to be here because i let everyone down i just want to slink into a corner and keep my eyes on the floor or maybe just quit and go home i even feel guilty about feeling guilty for many of us guilt is like a certain kind of old friend someone whom we willingly let in the door and then can t kick out guilt shows up when we act in a way that doesn t sync with our goals and values whether procrastinating or breaking a promise or taking credit for someone else s work at its best guilt acts like a moral compass prompting us to reflect on what we re doing or not doing and then make constructive change but when guilt settles in for the long haul serving up daily helpings of blame and shame without adding anything constructive to the mix we find ourselves living with a parasite guilt shadows the good things in our lives it whittles down our energy and self worth that s when we begin cheating ourselves of our personal dreams and needs we make a habit of putting ourselves second feeding our guilt and starving our self esteem making it harder and harder to be our fullest brightest most creative selves there are three common forms of guilt that can rob us from living fully if we let it instead let s kick out the guilt rather than repeatedly kick ourselves here are some ways to start the guilty pleasure paradox guilt free is a phrase that gets tossed around a lot guilt free tv guilt free desserts guilt free shopping it seems that wherever there s pleasure involved there s guilt to be had we often don t allow ourselves to do what we want because we believe we haven t earned it and even when we do say yes that guilty little voice in our heads spoils the fun of a nightcap at the close of a hard day or that beach getaway with friends ironically research shows that guilt is a pretty ineffective way to control behavior in a 2013 study published in appetite psychologists found that people who linked chocolate cake with guilt rather than with celebration had more trouble losing and maintaining weight instead of acting as a positive motivating force guilt actually leads to feelings of helplessness and lack of control while it s healthy to have rules for responsible behavior a glass of wine with dinner is one thing a bottle of wine is another unrealistic expectations of never ever indulging set you up for failure and a dull life try these tips 1 let go of borrowed beliefs if you feel that something you want to do is undeserved ask yourself who said so does society say that it s wrong your mom your childhood baseball coach then ask yourself what you believe and respect your own judgment 2 calculate the consequences what s the fallout if you indulge and what can you do to mitigate it for example if the consequence of ordering dessert is falling off your diet wagon how can you counterbalance it a morning trip to the gym perhaps although you probably don t want to make this a habit the trap of a guilty conscience a guilty conscience can be your personal alcatraz rocky labyrinthine and impossible to escape but punishing yourself with thoughts of what a terrible person you are doesn t help you make amends for that terrible or perhaps not so terrible thing you did instead it makes you self absorbed and self protective you stop putting your best foot forward cheating not only yourself but other people in your life the thing is guilt without behavior change is a cop out if you did something wrong even if the victim is no one but yourself acknowledge it try to repair the damage and commit to not doing it again once you emancipate yourself from your guilty slammer your world will get brighter and fuller with possibility 3 forgive yourself okay so you did something you re not proud of that s part of being human but it doesn t define who you are forgiving yourself requires new perspectives talking through your guilt with someone else often lightens the burden when you speak your thoughts out loud it usually removes much of the sting though it may not happen in a single conversation you might also try talking to yourself as if you were another person what would you say to someone else who is in your position 4 break up with your guilt once you ve made honest efforts to make amends box up your guilt up and get rid of it try creating some kind of ritual that helps you divorce your guilt such as writing a positive affirmation or letter to yourself or burning or throwing away a physical artifact that represents your feelings of shame the guilt inducing myth of perfection the bogeyman of perfection plagues us throughout our lives and guilt perfection s enfant terrible rears its ugly head when we fall short of what we think we ought to be whether it s the woman who has it all or the straight a student obsessed with the highest score often this guilt is shaped by fear of disappointing others you re a rotten parent because you missed a school play you re a bad friend because you forgot a birthday you don t deserve to be happy because your traditional minded family says you make poor choices every time you fall short of the impossible you beat yourself up a little more to lessen the loathing try to shift your thinking to what s truly achievable the tips in last week s unstuck post the secret to work life balance can help and create tactical ways to juggle and prioritize life s many demands because when guilt leads you try to please everyone ironically you please no one particularly yourself 5 mute the peanut gallery when you feel lessened by guilt because you couldn t do everything perfectly replace the negative voice with a positive one for example instead of i served dinner 15 minutes late shift to i spent extra time getting the sauce perfect and i know my friends will really appreciate that 6 own your failures mistakes only diminish us when we don t learn from them use our failure analysis checklistto reflect on what went wrong and to surface important lessons that will help you prevent the situation from happening again the mistakes we make can make us wiser smarter and more compassionate but only when we stop palling around with guilt and embrace constructive change 40 712775 74 005973 share this share on pinterest opens in new window pinterest share on telegram opens in new window telegram share on whatsapp opens in new window whatsapp print opens in new window print more share on x opens in new window x share on linkedin opens in new window linkedin share on tumblr opens in new window tumblr email a link to a friend opens in new window email share on facebook opens in new window facebook share on reddit opens in new window reddit like loading featured posted on august 14 2018 categories banish your guilt demons uncategorized tags bebloggerofficial faith feelings guilt life thoughts truth 2 comments on banish your guilt demons sexuality spirituality and relationships sexual energy is a powerful force that when used consciously can be a great catalyst for spiritual growth and healing on many levels t o manifest your full sexual energy you have to surrender there s no way around it you must completely inhabit your body and be in the moment if not now when holding back fixating on performance or letting your mind drift is the end of passion don t go there i ll show you how to get out of your head and into your bliss what is true sexual energy i define it as proudly claiming your erotic self and mindfully channeling sexual energy you never use it to hurt manipulate make conquests or get addicted to the ego trip of sensual pleasure at the expense of others this is bad karma nor do you allow others to harm or disrespect you sexual energy is not just who you are in bed though that s an aspect of it you also make electric linkages to your body to spirit to a lover to the universe for me it s a turn on when sexual power is blended with spiritual power too many of us in this heady frantic world lack the rich experience of having a primal connection with someone sexual energy can offer us this a satisfaction you can never get from your intellect alone as you open to both sex and spirit whether you re single or part of a couple you ll be a vessel for erotic flow enjoying pleasure without insecurities or inhibitions os ho on sex and spirituality a misunderstood guru osho is erroneously referred to as a sex guru however the simple truth is that his views on sex were radically different from the view of others in a sex starved nation and he was misunderstood for that in reality he showed his followers the beautiful connect between sex and spirituality by emphasizing how beautiful sex could become if it received the right dose of spirituality peaks of silence holding the hand of your woman or man why not sit silently why not close your eyes and feel feel the presence of the other enter into the presence of the other let the other s presence enter into you vibrate together sway together if suddenly a great energy possesses you dance together and you will reach to such peaks of joy as you have never known before those peaks have nothing to do with sex in fact they have much to do with silence become meditative in love and if you can also manage to become meditative in your sex life if you can be silent while making love in a kind of dance you will be surprised you have a built in process to take you to the farthest shore 4 sex makes you intelligent so really it happens that the more sexual a person is the more inventive he can be the more sexual a person is the more intelligent with less sex energy less intelligence exists with more sexual energy more intelligence exists because sex is a deep search to uncover not only bodies not only the opposite sex body but everything that is hidden 5 from sex to spirituality to prayer when love expresses through you it first expresses as the body it becomes sex if it expresses through the mind which is higher deeper subtler then it is called love if it expresses through the spirit it becomes prayer 6 from sex to bliss if everything goes well and sex is natural and flowing it is a beautiful experience because you can have a glimpse of the second through it if sex goes really very deep so that you forget yourself completely in it you can even have a glimpse of the third through it and if sex becomes a total orgasmic experience there are rare moments when you can even have a glimpse of the fourth the turiya the beyond through it 7 hatred happens when sex fails but if sex fails then many perversions happen to the mind these perversions are expressed in hatred hatred is a failure of sex a failure of love energy violence lust for money the continuous conflicting attitudes of egos war politics these are all sex perversions 8 unnatural sex leads to hunger for power a man whose sex is not perverted cannot become a politician it is impossible all politicians as such need deep sexual therapy otherwise their whole energy will be moving to gain more and more power when sex is natural you feel power you are not seeking it sex is potentiality it is power you feel it showering on you you don t seek and search for it but when you miss it then a great urge arises to seek power politics is born then wars continuous violence are born hatred anger and a thousand and one types of perversions 9 from love to sex not from sex to love you can love a person because the person satisfies your sex this is not love just a bargain you can make sex with a 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