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ysical abuse just to stay with them abusive relationships have many underlying issues in common men and women who drink and use too many drugs or men and women who have anger issues that are related to past experiences that they haven t been able to heal from when addiction enters the scene it is never a good thing these people are often not themselves when they re under the influence whether it s alcohol or drug abuse they often have major emotional issues that can t be solved by being romantically involved with a new boyfriend or girlfriend it requires them to step outside their own comfort zone and reflect on themselves i ve seen people get out of that scene and i ve seen people who were never able to we live in a time where women have equal opportunities to work and save up their own money they no longer need to be financially dependent on men many of these abusive relationships have a lot of problems with co dependency especially financially and emotional dependency and they have unhealthy sexual lifestyles regardless if it is consensual or not but of course consensual is preferred however when addiction is in the mix it can lead to a dysfunctional sex life and this can cause many problems in a relationship or marriage when you don t have social or financial independence in these relationships it can cause issues drug and alcohol abuse is so common in abusive relationships you can practically predict who is going to experience it and who s not going to these people often struggle a great deal with underlying emotional issues that require the individual to realize and understand they have issues but most importantly they have to make that decision for themselves to get help and work on staying sober learning how to deal with their issues without turning to booze and drugs it s normal for couples to argue but domestic violence is never okay no matter what gender we tend to hold men in a higher standard because we re physically stronger but women can also cause a lot of damage women are more likely to use weapons and blunt objects or knives than men when there are drug and alcohol abuse and there is a weapon in the household the chances of murder or manslaughter increases 500 40 712775 74 005973 like loading featured posted on july 18 2019 categories no one deserves abuse uncategorized tags abuselife bebloggerofficial 3 comments on no one deserves abuse for the moment of happiness don t cry because it s over smile because it happened dr seuss what do you need to be happy all too often we list the things we want a bigger house a cooler car a trip around the world money for retirement a new friend or lover while striving for more is one of the things that makes us great it s never wise to make your happiness dependent on it all too often it s hard to bring the things we want into our lives but one thing you do have the power to do is let go of things you don t want or need whether out of habit or because of peer pressure or family pressure we often cling to poisonous thoughts feelings and individuals our unrealistic expectations set us up for failure and our addiction to toxic people and activities brings us down and then we wonder why it s so hard to be happy well this year is going fine and i can say it did i made myself happier and along the way i learned a lot about how to be happier here are those lessons 1 don t start with profundities when i began my happiness project i realized pretty quickly that rather than jumping in with lengthy daily meditation or answering deep questions of self identity i should start with the basics like going to sleep at a decent hour and not letting myself get too hungry science backs this up these two factors have a big impact on happiness 2 do let the sun go down on anger i had always scrupulously aired every irritation as soon as possible to make sure i vented all bad feelings before bedtime studies show however that the notion of anger catharsis is poppycock expressing anger related to minor fleeting annoyances just amplifies bad feelings while not expressing anger often allows it to dissipate 3 fake it till you feel it feelings follow actions if i m feeling low i deliberately act cheery and i find myself actually feeling happier if i m feeling angry at someone i do something thoughtful for her and my feelings toward her soften this strategy is uncannily effective 4 realize that anything worth doing is worth doing badly challenge and novelty are key elements of happiness the brain is stimulated by surprise and successfully dealing with an unexpected situation gives a powerful sense of satisfaction people who do new things learn a game travel to unfamiliar places are happier than people who stick to familiar activities that they already do well i often remind myself to enjoy the fun of failure and tackle some daunting goal 5 don t treat the blues with a treat often the things i choose as treats aren t good for me the pleasure lasts a minute but then feelings of guilt and loss of control and other negative consequences deepen the lousiness of the day while it s easy to think i ll feel good after i have a few glasses of wine a pint of ice cream a cigarette a new pair of jeans it s worth pausing to ask whether this will truly make things better 6 buy some happiness our basic psychological needs include feeling loved secure and good at what we do you also want to have a sense of control money doesn t automatically fill these requirements but it sure can help i ve learned to look for ways to spend money to stay in closer contact with my family and friends to promote my health to work more efficiently to eliminate sources of irritation and marital conflict to support important causes and to have enlarging experiences for example when my sister got married i splurged on a better digital camera it was expensive but it gave me a lot of happiness 7 don t insist on the best there are two types of decision makers satisficers yes satisficers make a decision once their criteria are met when they find the hotel or the pasta sauce that has the qualities they want they re satisfied maximizers want to make the best possible decision even if they see a bicycle or a backpack that meets their requirements they can t make a decision until they ve examined every option satisficers tend to be happier than maximizers maximizers expend more time and energy reaching decisions and they re often anxious about their choices sometimes good enough is good enough 8 exercise to boost energy i knew intellectually that this worked but how often have i told myself i m just too tired to go to the gym exercise is one of the most dependable mood boosters even a 10 minute walk can brighten my outlook 9 stop nagging i knew my nagging wasn t working particularly well but i figured that if i stopped my husband would never do a thing around the house wrong if anything more work got done plus i got a surprisingly big happiness boost from quitting nagging i hadn t realized how shrewish and angry i had felt as a result of speaking like that i replaced nagging with the following persuasive tools wordless hints for example leaving a new lightbulb on the counter using just one word saying milk instead of talking on and on not insisting that something be done on my schedule and most effective of all doing a task myself why did i get to set the assignments 10 take action some people assume happiness is mostly a matter of inborn temperament you re born an eeyore or a tigger and that s that although it s true that genetics play a big role about 40 per cent of your happiness level is within your control taking time to reflect and making conscious steps to make your life happier really does work so use these tips to start your own happiness project i promise it won t take you a whole year 40 712775 74 005973 share this share on pinterest opens in new window pinterest share on telegram opens in new window telegram share on whatsapp opens in new window whatsapp print opens in new window print more share on x opens in new window x share on linkedin opens in new window linkedin share on tumblr opens in new window tumblr email a link to a friend opens in new window email share on facebook opens in new window facebook share on reddit opens in new window reddit like loading featured posted on june 12 2019 categories for the moment of happiness uncategorized tags bebloggerofficial happiness life moment 18 comments on for the moment of happiness when you finally decide to live your dreams our eyes only see and our ears only hear what our brain is looking for you ve been thinking about this for a long time haven t you you ve revelled in shallow friendships numbed yourself in trivial distractions and justified low living for long enough you ve tried convincing yourself to no avail that you re not the person you can t seem to escape over time you ve disconnected with your environment and relationships you ve started little by little to be more authentic with yourself and the world around you what took years to hide only took a moment of honesty to recover and now here you find yourself on what feels like the edge of a cliff looking out you re terrified of what might happen if you allow yourself to go there will everything fall apart you re tempted to turn around and go back to the lie you ve been living where it s easy convenient and less demanding you ve done it so many times before so why is this time different this time is different because you ve caught on to the fact that there s really nothing behind you it s all nonsense at this point going back would be more painful than the unknown before you no matter what that might be so actually you can t go back how you see yourself has fundamentally changed and that s why this time you will succeed 40 712775 74 005973 share this share on pinterest opens in new window pinterest share on telegram opens in new window telegram share on whatsapp opens in new window whatsapp print opens in new window print more share on x opens in new window x share on linkedin opens in new window linkedin share on tumblr opens in new window tumblr email a link to a friend opens in new window email share on facebook opens in new window facebook share on reddit opens in new window reddit like loading featured posted on may 27 2019 categories when you finally decide to live your dreams uncategorized tags bebloggerofficial dream life makingitcometrue 2 comments on when you finally decide to live your dreams how to conquer the fear of failure living in constant worry doubt and fear makes your life miserable and it takes away all your joy fun and happiness it seems like worry doubt and fear is a very widespread illness in our society almost everyone seems to worry that this and that may happen a lot of people are worried about their future their financial situation that their husband or wife may leave them that they may get ill have a terrible accident and there are surely hundreds of other worries and fears are you one of them do you worry too much as well how much of it did actually come true probably very little on the other hand things may have happened you didn t even imagine or think about so why spending weeks months and even years worrying about something that probably never happens it just doesn t make any sense to torture yourself because of something that only exists in your mind and has nothing to do with your current reality let s say because of certain events and circumstances your logic tells you things don t look good and you start worrying here is what happens because of your worries and fears you will start feeling worse and worse whenever there is an event you would normally enjoy those nagging fears will take away most of the joy staying for a long time in the emotion of worry and fear will not only make you tired but it will also make you more prone to illness as within so without if you spend most of your time in worry and fear you will also create unpleasant events and circumstances in your life that correspond with the energy of fear in other words there is a good chance that you will actually manifest what you are so afraid of just because you constantly think and worry about it in other words there is absolutely nothing good that can come from spending only even 1 second in worry doubt or fear if i could see at least 1 tiny advantage you could get out of worrying i would say yes every now and then worry for a few minutes because it is good for but there is absolutely nothing positive about those negative emotions and that s why i suggest you simply banish worry doubt and fear from your life that s right you no longer need those emotions you are done with them so just let go of them but bad things happen to people every day of course unpleasant things happen to all of us but to constantly worry about what could happen won t prevent unpleasant things from happening quite the contrary that s actually a very efficient way to attract more unpleasant things into your life yes unpleasant things happen but when they happen we simply deal with them we find a solution and we grow through them we become bigger wiser better and believe me tackling those challenging situations is far easier from a positive mindset than from a mindset that s entrenched in worry doubt and fear also you may have already realized that being in the middle of a storm and dealing with a challenging situation actually feels better than the state of dense fear that only exists in your imagination and is created out of the constant worry that something bad might happen sometime in the future so i think we can agree that spending even a minute in doubt and fear won t add anything positive to your life but the big question is how can you get rid of your worries and fears you say those emotions just overtake your life and it isn t much you can do about it that s wrong because those worries and fears are simply the results of unhealthy thoughts and beliefs you engaged in over and over again thousands of times the exact same way you created those fears you can also get rid of them and replace them with much better feeling emotions all you need to do is to change those core beliefs that lead to negative thoughts which in turn create your worries and fears you may smile about the child who is afraid of the green monster in the closet but most of the worries and fears of us adults are not any more real just think about some of your fears right now they are only a product of your imagination once something unpleasant happens you are no longer afraid of it because it already happened and you have to deal with it but then you may be afraid of what could happen next and again at that stage what could happen next will only exist in your imagination 40 712775 74 005973 share this share on pinterest opens in new window pinterest share on telegram opens in new window telegram share on whatsapp opens in new window whatsapp print 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