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looks or acts sad most of the time cries often can t feel any emotions positive or negative can t get out of bed or leave the house can t work can t take care of themselves or others thinks or talks about suicide that s what severe depression can look like and it s a terrible and potentially deadly illness most people would notice those signs realize something was wrong and hopefully get some help but depression has many different faces and manifestations i was one of the walking depressed some of my clients are too we have many of the symptoms of clinical depression but we are still functioning on the surface people might not know anything is wrong we keep working keep going to school keep looking after our families but we re doing it all while profoundly unhappy depression is negatively impacting our lives and relationships and impairing our abilities our depression may not be completely disabling but it s real walking depression can be hard to recognize because it doesn t fit the more common picture of severe depression but it can be just as dangerous to our well being when left unacknowledged this list isn t meant to be exhaustive or to diagnose anyone but these are some of the signs i ve observed in myself and those i ve coached nothing is fun you root around for something to look forward to and come up empty you can t find flow working on your creative projects feels like a grind but you keep plodding away your energy is low maybe you re not getting enough rest because you re too anxious to sleep or you re trying to cram too many tasks into a day or you re punishing yourself by staying up whatever the reason you are effin tired you feel worse in the morning and better at night i remember explaining this to a friend who found it mystifying in the morning i felt the crushing weight of all the things i had to do that day in the evening i was temporarily free from expectations and could enjoy a moment s respite you have simmering resentment toward others sure you re still doing what everybody asks of you but you stew in anger the whole time you are jealous of and bitter toward people who look happier than you feel your self talk gets caustic you say nasty things in an effort to shock yourself into action you use shame as a motivator you feel distanced from people around you it s hard to have genuine intimate conversations because you have to keep up this front that you are alright you deprive yourself of creative work time this helps you exert some control and stirs up feelings of suffering that are perversely pleasurable also taking on new projects that prevent you from writing or making art lets you prove to yourself that you re still strong and capable jen lee has coined the term dutiful creatives to describe those who are inclined to take care of their responsibilities before anything else if life were a meal you d consider your creativity as the dessert and always strive to eat your vegetables first pacing and knowing how to say no are your strengths but your creativity is more essential to your well being than you realize from jen lee you notice a significant mood change when you have caffeine or alcohol a cup of coffee might make you feel a lot more revved up and optimistic a glass of wine might make you feel really mellow and even gasp happy that s how i finally realized that i was depressed you feel like you re wasting your life some people have a high sensitivity to the inherent meaning in what we do creativity coach eric maisel calls this our existential intelligence if our daily activities don t carry enough significance if they don t feel like a worthwhile use of our talents and passions then soon we are asking ourselves what s the point why should i keep going why is it hard to admit that you have walking depression you may recognize many of these signs in your life but still be slow to admit that you are depressed why is that because it feels presumptuous to put yourself in that category when you re still getting by you feel like it would be insulting to those who are much worse off than you you may feel like you have no real reason to be depressed because your pride and your identity take a hit you have to admit vulnerability and allow that you are not the all conquering superhero you thought you were because you realize that you and your life need to change which feels like more work piled on your plate because you are admitting your own responsibility for your unhappiness and that can trigger self judgment because you might uncover grief or anger at those around you for not seeing and taking better care of you what to do what to do i ve posted another entry about how creatives heal from walking depression and here are the highlights rest make use of medication and other physical treatments do therapy practice gratitude make connections reduce your responsibilities spend time creating change your thoughts develop meaning practice change your life these steps are simple to say not easy to do so make sure you get as much support as you can pilgrimage of desire a path out of walking depression my life s work is to help writers and artists recognize their depression and find healing by making their creative work a priority as a young adult i longed to make my mark on the world as a writer but after university i got sidetracked by all the demands of ordinary life soon i joined the ranks of the walking depressed i was working volunteering and looking after my family but i was also desperately sad i found the path out of depression by following my desires to write to travel to become a friend and a creativity coach eventually i left ordinary life behind i thought i d found my happy ending but there was more to the story 40 712775 74 005973 share this share on pinterest opens in new window pinterest share on telegram opens in new window telegram share on whatsapp opens in new window whatsapp print opens in new window print more share on x opens in new window x share on linkedin opens in new window linkedin share on tumblr opens in new window tumblr email a link to a friend opens in new window email share on facebook opens in new window facebook share on reddit opens in new window reddit like loading featured posted on october 11 2018 categories pilgrimage of desire a path out of walking depression uncategorized tags bebloggerofficial betterness depression life meaning music 13 comments on pilgrimage of desire a path out of walking depression stop waiting for the perfect conditions to start really living be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don t matter and those who matter don t mind dr seuss at 27 i look back on my 20 s in an interesting way i m not yet out of my 20 s but i m old enough now that i ve started looking back on the past 7 years with a lot of clarity i don t take any of it back as regretting the past is as useful as placing your hands on a hot stove but if i was back in my early 20 s again and knew wiser there are so many things i would do differently making the most of life isn t as difficult as it might sometimes seem you can have an amazing life right now if you give up doing these nine things settling for less than your worth whether it s settling to be with someone you don t truly love deciding to just take that 50 hours a week job your friend offered you because you don t think you ll ever finish school or turning your back on what you love don t settle for less than your worth the likelihood is you re worth far more than you give yourself credit for by the time we re young adults we ve been through so much in life that we can often think things like i m not good enough or i don t deserve that but you are good enough and you do deserve that one of the greatest fallacies in life is the idea that we re incomplete that we re missing a screw lacking something or altogether messed up but this couldn t be further from the truth you were born absolutely and completely whole and you continue to be no matter what you go through no matter how many mistakes you make and no matter who wronged you you re the same beautiful person you began life as realize that you re priceless and stop settling for less than you re worth changing for others i was guilty of this myself we act like someone we re not to get the girl or guy we like we do something unlike ourselves to impress a group of people we want to be our friends and overall we give up what makes us us just so that others will like us but all this ends up doing is making us lose track of ourselves in the needs of others we forget who we are and when we come to we realize all that time was wasted wandering around in disillusion don t change who you are for others the people that are right for you will love you for you not for who you re trying to be spending the day online the internet is the future it s as simple as that everything you could ever want to know is on the internet and a lot of the most popular forms of entertainment too oh and you can make a living on the internet to boot so it makes sense that we d spend so much time online but to spend almost literally all day online is unhealthy both with regards to your body and your mind maybe you re a programmer or run a blog and spend a huge portion of each day online that s fine you re making a living or are working on making a living through the internet but even then you need to get out and experience nature talk to people face to face and just plain have fun with all those things that life has to offer that you can never find or experience online learn how to balance your life between time online and time fully experiencing the beauty of life while disconnected and you ll be far happier and healthier thinking likes and followers genuine friends one of the biggest mistakes we make in our 20 s is convincing ourselves that facebook friends followers 1 s and the like are genuine friends but genuine friendship is built upon the depth of the connection between two people you can t go through things or experience life with followers and facebook friends the most you can do is like the same post and occasionally say what s up or yeah me too today do a quick inventory how many genuine friends do you have if you re having hard times or something comes up unexpectedly who do you have that you could turn to if that answer is one or none you probably need to get out and start building some genuine friendships our relationships are the most telling factor in not only our ability to be happy but plays a big part in helping us thrive in all areas of life so invest time in building friendships it will serve you well for the rest of your life sweeping problems under the rug when we re younger we tend to push our problems aside or ignore them often for endeavors that help us drown them out and forget about them altogether but that won t make them go away they re still there waiting for their chance to strike adopt the habit of taking care of things whether regular responsibilities serious issues or surprise occurrences head on and as soon as they come up remind yourself that whether you take care of it now or later you still have to do it eventually and that if you put it off it can escalate into a far worse problem than what it is now you ll begin really living life the day you decide to face yourself all your problems whether big or small decide today to lift the rug on all of your problems and shine a light and you ll discover how exhilarating and joy filled life can be caring what others think of you the number one fear that holds us back is the fear of what others may think of us at one point or another we all suffer from it it s only natural to feel this way i felt this intensely from the time i was a young teenager all the way up into my 20 s this is probably most intense from high school on into our 20 s a time where we often want to impress or at least not feel the critical eye of numerous groups of people from the other sex groups of friends or potential friends to potential employers and family but guess what in a very real sense while you might think that all these people are constantly looking at you and being critical of you most people are never if every thinking about you once you realize this it s nothing short of a life changing realization don t believe me use yourself as an example are you constantly thinking about those around you nitpicking and being overly critical of everyone near you or are you too busy being concerned with your own problems and aspirations to sit around thinking critically of everyone around you the likelihood is you don t and almost no one else does either and those that do well thinking you only have a few options i grew up thinking i had to go to college to make something of myself and while this is a respectable path thinking this was my only option is just another example of limited thinking don t convince yourself that you have to take some specific path in life this all comes down to not restricting yourself and thinking your only options are what you see everyone else doing or what others expect you to do the world really is open to you and you have so many different options in front of you look around use your creativity and don t take no for an answer get out there and live your life and don t let anything hold you back living absent minded truth be told this isn t a problem only 20 somethings have but it is a critical ingredient to thriving in life and something which if tackled now will show huge dividends both immediately in your life now and for decades to come the way we usually live our lives we re pushed and pulled here and there based on a combination of responsibilities impulses and only the occasional moment of clarity we live quite literally only half awake to the moment in front of us more often worried about the future and regretting the past do this simple exercise say to yourself i am awake i m here right now fully alive to the beauty of this moment as you say this focus your attention completely on the present moment experience get out of your head completely stop purposely thinking thoughts will still crop up without you doing anything this is ok and be fully alive to this moment your entire life is waiting for you realize how amazing your life can be by simply becoming fully awake to the moment in front of you thinking you have all your life right now it can seem like you have so much time that there s little bother rushing to tackle anything of value this is natural and you shouldn t rush around doing anything either way but you need to live aware of the fact that life is a lot short than you think before you know it you re going to turn around and be 30 and when this happens you re going to wonder where all the time you wasted went create a bucket list make plans and get out there and do all those things you ve always wanted to do as you grow older you ll find the only things you regret are the things you did...
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