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description= A woman s journey to finding her best friend, herself.;
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Text of the page (random words):
ne intemperance a prudent man would shun of liquors that are vended tis easy to beware but statutes do not meddle with the internal bar pernicious as the sunset permitting to pursue but impotent to gather the tranquil perfidy alloys our firmer moments with that severest gold convenient to the longing but otherwise withheld share this share on facebook opens in new window facebook email a link to a friend opens in new window email share on tumblr opens in new window tumblr share on x opens in new window x print opens in new window print share on linkedin opens in new window linkedin share on pinterest opens in new window pinterest share on reddit opens in new window reddit like loading leave a comment full circle some people are full of surprises wonderful surprises posted on october 19 2014 by nora l pratt under journal entry journey of the month as i sit here on this fine fall day i m elated with the recent event of reuniting with an old dear friend we had a falling out of sorts some time ago it was stupid really and i lost my temper these past few weeks i ve reached out to old lost friends call it age but i m finding that life is too short to hold onto grudges or past hurts and i ve been told by these old friends in no uncertain terms to f off we don t want you here well i guess i can t blame them then again it left me feeling a bit sorry for these individuals i sort of pitied them i mean if i was receiving an email or call from an old friend especially someone i d known since childhood or for over three decades let s say with heartfelt apology asking if we can get past this i would call them and talk forgive and forget let bygones be bygones that is unless they sexually assaulted me or killed my mother however this was not how these individuals decided to treat the situation they chose to clutch their pain grudge and proudly wear it like an armor thereby warding off anyone mostly me like garlic to a vampire being the tenacious person that i am i recently reached to this friend that i heard from today giving her my apologies and asking if there was anyway we could move forward realizing that it had been three years i fully expected the same reaction as with the other lost friends i was working on my computer and sipping my coffee when my cell rang i was actually expecting a male friend who said he would be calling sometime this weekend though i thought it was a bit early as he was to be taking his student for an ocean swim so i answered this unknown number and to my surprise it was her thank you for reaching out she said well thank you for calling usually i just get a f k off and get defriended i replied and the tears started to flow we talked for close to two hours as if no time passed i ve spent a great deal of time dealing with those voices in my head that told me you re a bad person ann you don t deserve to have friends like them you expect them to forgive you you aren t worthy but some strange things came out this week as i ve said good bye so some toxic people who really not only recently decided i was not good enough for whatever reason never felt the love i felt for them for three decades or more i felt cleansed and felt those voices flushed away it was as if suddenly i could see my worth because i do forgive i do keep my word and don t spread gossip hurtful horrid gossip i used to think to never do that which you don t want done to you or on the positive slant treat others as you would like to be treated it doesn t always work that way as people are going to talk no matter what but this i do know and i ve said this before truth always wins out people will show you who they are and these individuals have shown me who they really were i just didn t have enough faith in myself to trust it i knew they didn t love me i could feel it in the way they treat me and the way they treated those friends around them i knew they were ashamed of me and that i didn t make the cut with their other friends who had more money and owned cabins boats vacation homes but again i couldn t allow myself to see the shallowness in them those people are my past they don t define me and no longer have any hold on me from now on i only care for and look forward to all that are in my life now those individuals that lift me up make me laugh and truly care for me as i do them friends and acquaintances will always come and go this is true but it is a certain blessed person that will realize that life is too short people get older we all do and sometimes you just need to let bygones be bygones and realize that there was love and deep friendship there to my friend today if you read this you know who you are i m so very grateful for you and love you with all my heart this is my best birthday present share this share on facebook opens in new window facebook email a link to a friend opens in new window email share on tumblr opens in new window tumblr share on x opens in new window x print opens in new window print share on linkedin opens in new window linkedin share on pinterest opens in new window pinterest share on reddit opens in new window reddit like loading 1 comment three s company or is it posted on october 16 2014 by nora l pratt under journal entry journey of the month it is october and there is finally a sense of fall in the air i actually turned off the ac so sorry i haven t written since july my apologies life has been wonderful and full my grief has lessened to the point i m smiling happy and have that wonderful peppy bounce back in my step even so however i ve found myself in a precarious place just a few months ago you might remember i was asking myself the question did i make the correct decision of divorcing my husband douglas i so longed for that man who i dated for over a year that man who was so genuinely kind and loved to cook was a champion fisherman and abalone diver there were so many things i loved about that man so many things that i wonder what happened what happened in our marriage that made me this woman his wife say enough i ask this because life has brought me back to this same man well not the same man an older man as i m an older woman we are not those same two youngsters saying their vows in the spring of 1988 we have had over 20 years of life of hurt of arguments of heart ache of love yes i said it love there were many times that i should have said adios but i couldn t by the act of simply kissing his lips i knew i loved him and that everything was going to be ok my problem is that now that we have been divorced i thought we could make a go of it and i ve found you can t go back people rarely are not what they tell you they are in other words the are who they show you they are basically in a nutshell he s not going to change actually i m not going to change not with him and not in the same scenario so i choose to change my life i choose to not marry him i choose to live my life the way i want to live it not sure exactly how that is but at least i m going to be the captain of my destiny now the plot thickens as i ve met this other chap i like him i like him a lot and he likes me ooh the problematic love triangle or is it problem is he is a friend of my ex so i m in a pickle other problem he might have found out just how dumb i really am that or how dull i really am he s very worldly i m not i m still learning so many wonderful things my biggest fear is that people realize just how stupid i truly am originally he was very boisterous can t wait to hear from you count down to see you what about a rendezvous and all that now he s been very distant very proper so he might be gone and there may not be anything to worry about oh well as my dear friends tell me should that be the case then he they just don t know what they got ah i guess that s true perhaps i should tell the voices in my head to go to the devil and hush really why do we waste our time worrying about such nonsense still it s truly nothing but a huge pain in the puss i m done for now my question should i be what do you think back thank you for your response name required email required website comment required submit δ share this share on facebook opens in new window facebook email a link to a friend opens in new window email share on tumblr opens in new window tumblr share on x opens in new window x print opens in new window print share on linkedin opens in new window linkedin share on pinterest opens in new window pinterest share on reddit opens in new window reddit like loading leave a comment family it truly does take a village we can t escape that and shouldn t posted on july 12 2014 by nora l pratt under journal entry journey of the month family there are many families those we are born with and those we pick up along the way i ve managed to have a wonderful family both immediate and extended i just got back from seeing my cousins in rapid city sd to many of my friends they ask why south dakota well it is wonderful country if you want to know the truth and my family happens to be some of the best people anyone could be related to i m proud to be part of them all of them with my trips to that wonderful country and those fabulous people comes my thoughts of what if what if my father had never left the area what if as a family we had stayed and we kids were raised right along side my cousins each time i return i m left with a bit of emptiness in my heart now don t get me wrong i love each of my siblings my niece and nephew and yes i know that the grass can always appear greener but they are so warm and loving very welcoming so much so that it makes me covet them i long to be a sibling is it even possible to covet people there is so much history to be learned each time i go back our family is everywhere in the history books we came over in 1634 it s quite fascinating and my cousin ann is engrossed in the genealogy and slowly pulling me in with her it does make me wonder about this wonderful history of ours and all of us who were born from it it s amazing when you consider what is genetic personality for instance i ve noticed that there is a certain personality traits on one side of our family that is much more gregarious than the other side it s not like one person has this personality trait most of them if not all of them have it it would be more of an abnormality to not be gregarious or charismatic incredible i m a bit of an oddity as i m not sure i carry this gene i mean when i am asked to play a role i can do it in gangbusters but for some reason i m unable to show that genetic side of myself one on one in a crowd or at a party did i lose out on these genes when my father decided that california was the place to live and raise his family i don t know my north hollywood cousins seem to have the genes and they seem to have the life in spades they know everyone they know the whose who went to school with all the whose who on the list so what does that make us the pomona macgregors what are we the misfits is this really a matter of circumstance or is it simply choice families are funny i spent most of my life wanting no wishing for that mother the mother that was my aunt she spoke to me like i was an adult she was always interested in what it was that i was doing with my life i was never too dumb too stupid too ugly no matter what i was doing i was magnificent to understand my love for this woman you would have to understand the trials of the girl me no matter what i did no matte how fabulous i sang in choir or in a musical no matter how well i succeeded in the arts it was never good enough that little girl known as ann would never be good enough to gain the approval of her mother but when the family went to north hollywood she would always always gain the approval of her aunt for it was her aunt who would make sure that there was a place at her breakfast table to sip coca cola and talk and to tell her all about her accomplishments family they come in so many shapes and sizes today i have many friends that are there none that i could say were there like my aunt louise but they are there as close as possible they still build me up and they believe in me even when i can t belive in myself these were people that pulled me out of what i refer to as my five year coma i have a couple of friends kat and den who literally pulled me out of my grief and torment i was surviving what kat referred to as a war i lost everything i lost my sister i lost my bother to alcoholism and i lost everything i owned to a fire i was literally surviving i was surviving a tragedy i never thought of it that way yet she s right i just saw the doctor for some abrasions that i had on my back the pain was severe i felt like i had the flu and i just could not get it together my diagnosis shingles of all things i was on my way out of town to my favorite town to see my favorite people and i have shingles my doctor indicated that this virus only comes out under a great deal of stress have you been under stress to which i replied me no psha only for the past decade she smirked and proceeded to lecture me that this was my body s way of telling me that it was now the time to listen to it i now had this virus and nothing no nothing was going to keep it from me the only way to keep myself from this was to keep myself stress free in a way i laughed i thought to myself does she know who she is talking with i am the caretaker of this family i am the one that the family depends on to care for our siblings and by all bets our brother is the next to die he has chosen alcoholism and is currently in what one might call wet brain it s only a matter of time you see this is what i was talking about early on we all come from a branch of the family and we come from the james david s branch and i can t help but feel ashamed my sister elizabeth has really made a wonderful name for herself she is someone who daddy will is should be proud but i look at david and myself and i wonder what went wrong david was a prodigy he was brilliant he had everything going for him and i just don t understand what it was or why it is that he has chosen to lose his life in alcohol such a gift so many gifts he could ve taught at the university for crying out loud he had a way with young people and he had a way of explaining the impossible of mathematics in terms that anyone could understand i can understand his not wanting to pursue concert piano but there were so many other gifts i e writing film making composing so many talents so my question continues what if would life have been different had we stayed or gone back to rapid city sd i look at my brother and at first i blamed him for not being stronger i now look at his life and admire him for all the struggles that he battled through he was nine years old when our father died and all of the worlds problems all of our mother s problems were placed on his shoulders he was never allowed to be a boy we talk so much these days about how it takes a village to raise a child it t...
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