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reathlessly are you sure me fake gasp oh yes but when randy stripped off his pants the gasp that came out of me was real i almost changed my mind the only weenies i d ever seen were the itty bitty fingertips between the legs of babies these were olden times before explicit films and the internet bearing down on me was this jutting ugly as hell tube thing a thing my boyfriend intended to shove up me no way but i had decided this was the night i let randy climb on top he worked that ugly tube inside while i lay on my back knees bent with the bottoms of my feet facing the ceiling that was the first time in my life i had ever been in that position men if you ve ever been curious here are a real woman s actual thoughts from her very first experience of lovemaking this is not natural this is the most vulnerable position for a human to be in on the back with the belly exposed i feel like a turtle stuck on its shell i hate this why have older women been lying to younger women about this i was furious furious at women how dare they not share with all girls that there was nothing at all good about sex that it was all just a fraud as far as women were concerned even though i came my first time i didn t know what was happening it was just a physical response like a pleasant flush of heat that small diversion wasn t enough to make up for the extreme awkwardness and vulnerability of the unusual position and my lack of emotional involvement in my case it took a year until brain and body got their acts together and i got the hang of it all i have it now if you re still a virgin and a straight female this post from teen vogue don t laugh is a great quick read about what first times can be like so it s the next morning i m in the kitchen and the phone rings it s maria guess what okay what rob and i did it last night what you know rob and i did it last night crowed my pal you re kidding randy and i did it last night too i crowed back hah hah april fool s laughed maria i wish there was a photograph of my face right then yes my dears my first experience of the glories of sex occurred after midnight on march 31st making me a true april fool eight weeks later i found out just how much of a fool for we had not used a condom and i was pregnant why did it take until the 8th week for me to know did i not miss a period sooner even during my first adult pregnancy my periods continued for months although they were very light it was 1973 i lived in a house with two abusive parents parents who had not only broken my sister s jaw but far worse tried to break our sense of worth by verbally abusing us daily accompanied by hard cuffs across the face although i was underweight and hungry much of the time i d been forbidden to take healthy food like bread and milk to eat when i arrived home from school each day no longer were my clothes being provided my father was making around 400 000 a year in today s dollars was i to give birth to a baby while living in that house to be abused as i had been having severe pet allergies i had no other options for where to live i knew my fetus was better off never being born abortion was the only responsible adult decision i could make a handful of other teen girls had gotten abortions arranged by their parents even prior to the roe v wade decision they had been whisked out of state taken to private doctors and come back to school to buzzing whispers that wasn t going to happen for me i was so scared what could i do after extremely quiet inquiries one of my childhood friends came to me privately and let me know that the planned parenthood in downtown manhattan performed abortions for 100 over 500 in today s dollars i was deeply grateful to this friend she was devoutly catholic and for her to provide this information was to me a sign both of her deep caring and also her understanding that abortion was the right choice in my case with my family not long afterward the pope issued an edict excommunicating all catholics who provided or even had already provided any assistance whatsoever to those obtaining abortions my friend was devastated at the cost of her help to me however the current pope does seem a big improvement i had 8 to my name babysitting back then paid 1 an hour and jobs were hard to come by where would i get 100 as i investigated my options the days ticked by my boyfriend told me don t worry about it i ll take care of it but i wasn t counting on him it wasn t his body that was pregnant finally i gave in and approached my friend naomi in senior year we weren t as close but i knew our friendship was still there i asked naomi if she would lend me the money without knowing what it was for or when i would be able to pay her back this was a large amount for back then but she of course said yes because that s what friends do the day of the appointment i m now at ten weeks randy and i meet up and he hands over a crisp new 100 bill what the what where did you get this i told you not to worry about it but where did you get this i just did let s go i can tell there s something off but i don t have time for it we bus it across the george washington bridge take the subway to planned parenthood i sit down opposite an unsmiling unfriendly black woman her color will be pertinent when we get to the part about payment she asks for two hundred dollars not one but i was told by my friend that it costs 100 you came over the bridge today right yes you live with your parents right yes two hundred dollars she looked with hatred at me i grew up in a highly mixed neighborhood this was my first experience of negative assumptions being made about me based upon my appearance my color my features my style of dress my manner of speech i could suddenly tell that this woman had decided that she was seeing a privileged white suburban girl who could easily afford the highest rate charged on the center s sliding scale it took some minutes of talking before i convinced her that i d had trouble getting one hundred dollars two hours later i was led into a room where a suction abortion was performed it hurt a lot but not as much as my monthly cramps my family were cramp champions i felt only relief never have i ever felt any remorse if i could go back in time and advise teen babe on what to do i would say what do you think babe and then i would heartily endorse her abortion choice randy and i left planned parenthood that day and got on the subway almost immediately i began feeling ill i had to get off that shaky dark subway now we slowly climbed up the subway stairs to the outdoors and made our way to a sunny triangular pocket park where we sat on a little wooden bench while we sat a very tall man came and sat close by my side moments later another large man sat close by randy s side so that we were sandwiched between the guys started talking with us and we with them i wasn t feeling that chatty but was trying to be polite one of the men suddenly started laughing hysterically i asked what s so funny don t you kids know where you are you re sitting smack dab in the middle of harlem harlem the ghetto new york city harlem juillet 1970 le ghetto containers rouillès sur le trottoir abritant des feux et dètritus dans une rue photo by jack garofalo paris match via getty images my that was a surprise perhaps the guys had been surprised also that two white looking suburban kids hadn t been discomfited when two large black men had sat close beside us the guys explained that we had better not try to walk back to the subway alone it s possible they were exaggerating but in 73 they may not have been one provided his company as we made our way back and boarded the subway for the relative safety of suburbia where i thanked naomi and returned her money my largest charitable donation each year does not go to planned parenthood it is my second largest they saved two lives that day not mine and randy s mine and the life of my would have been abused child i have donated to them annually since 1973 my mother used to tell me often that were abortion made legal retroactively she would have never had me sad endum i learned later that my then boyfriend had obtained his don t worry about it hundred dollars by performing his first major theft he had broken a window stolen equipment clearly marked with the owning company s name but marked with removable marker gone into the downtown manhattan k mart where the manager purchased these clearly stolen goods in exchange for a crisp 100 bill i urged that pos piece of sugar boyfriend to make restitution which he did not however i shamefully did not break up with him quite yet when i did a few months later this is the boy who raped me share this share on reddit opens in new window reddit share on x opens in new window x share on tumblr opens in new window tumblr share on facebook opens in new window facebook share on linkedin opens in new window linkedin email a link to a friend opens in new window email more share on pinterest opens in new window pinterest print opens in new window print like loading 43 comments by outlier babe on 2016 01 22 permalink posted in sexism still tagged call them flowers or magic sticks but vaginas and penises are ugly and goofy looking dudes you seriously have got to stop with the dick pics first time sex happy birthday roe v wade i cannot believe we re still fighting this frigging fight i suppose i should add the tag abortion in here sex organs are proof god has a sense of humor thank you gloria steinem and betty friedan for opening my eyes back then thank you planned parenthood the biggest april fool what sex can be like the first time posted by outlier babe on 2016 01 22 https outlierbabe wordpress com 2016 01 22 find out what women really think their first time ask ms outlier how should i not write a marketing email a company rep tries to flatter me into performing free marketing for them their email to me hi first off i came across your site and wanted to say thanks for providing a great resource to the lupus community i thought you might find this infographic which displays the effects of lupus on the body interesting and helpful for your readers not their graphic but the single most perfect illustration of lupus s effects i ve ever seen naturally i d be delighted if you share this embeddable graphic on a link to one of my lupus posts the ninth and or with your followers on social sic either way keep up the great work all the best ms z assistant marketing manager money making medicine inc gwen has some doubt about the sincerity level here my email to them dear ms z summary you want me to link to your for profit site but offer me not one penny per hit for doing so no problem as long as you include on your site a link to my first not ninth lupus post an autocidal life part 1 in which babe feels a pea details suggestion 1 reword future emails exactly on what basis do you ms z feel it is appropriate for you to thank me for providing a great resource to the lupus community do you speak on behalf of that community in some capacity and for you to encourage me to keep up the great work let me clarify for you ms z i am in no way your subordinate i am at least your equal but i a patient with systemic lupus will now more appropriately take this moment to thank you ms z for providing a great resource to the lupus community of which i am a member by sharing that graphic you only think this image is a non sequiter i wanted a double booyah and this is what google returned this cutie must have awesome booyah power to overpower google s web crawler might i suggest ms z you modify the wording of your solicitation letter in case it offends others you contact besides me suggestion 2 read what i ve written before referencing it my website statistics reveal that you looked only at only the final one of nine lupus posts written and a post which would have been confusing had at least the one prior post not been read i suspect you did not read even that one post ms z you might try the series sometime although yet needing some revision and with chapters to come what is posted so far is still excellent i may not really be this confident but i was gonna sound confident to this woman by golly o babe gladendum to ms z s credit she sent the following apology which i felt treated me and my input with respect as a result i shall include a link to the graphic on the appropriate page of the series in whichever century i finally go back and wrap up that series hello o babe i want to sincerely apologize it seems my email came off condescending that certainly was not our intent and i think your feedback makes a lot of sense upon reading back over our email i will be sending your feedback along to our team to relook at how we reach out to the community share this share on reddit opens in new window reddit share on x opens in new window x share on tumblr opens in new window tumblr share on facebook opens in new window facebook share on linkedin opens in new window linkedin email a link to a friend opens in new window email more share on pinterest opens in new window pinterest print opens in new window print like loading 17 comments by outlier babe on 2016 01 16 permalink posted in snark attack tagged booyah how not to write a marketing email people who feel superior often reveal it when they speak that woman told some fibs didn t she the false flattery in this one is strong luke the last half posted by outlier babe on 2016 01 16 https outlierbabe wordpress com 2016 01 16 how should i not write a marketing email ask ms outlier how can i have fun with my customer service experience dear wefindyouforever fence co i can t tell you how excited and thrilled i was to start receiving emails from your company out of nowhere years after i made what i recall as a couple of scouting queries about a fence for the backyard of my four bedroom house in florida i so look forward now to wrapping one of your wonderful fences around the interior space of my current home a 700 sq ft condo in southern california with no backyard or front yard either perhaps i can make an indoor corral for my pygmy goats shown here in their former outdoor quarters i ll be the talk of los angeles please send me all the info you have on every fence style you offer and by all means keep those emails pouring in smooches miss outlier p s do tell me you offer snow fences i m most specially interested in those i don t want any of these getting into my kitchen how they responded dear ms outlier good afternoon thank you for your interest in our company and products we really appreciate it we have an almost unbelievable amount of information and number of fence gate products available online i would recommend taking a look at our website dumberthanafencepost com to see what style you are most interested in once your search is narrowed we can work toward filling your specific need here is a link to our wooden snow fence imnotsnowingyouimreallythisthick com thanks again have a great ...
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