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left who hadn t bent the knee to baal and we decided to sell the building and close the doors three years ago my wife and daughter and i said goodbye to my daughter my son in law and my grandchildren we had one last breakfast at their house and hugged and then left california for good this is where the mixed feelings come in i miss them intensely and still get choked up i had a few very close friends that went through the fire with me and i miss them so much it hurts but when i think about everything else we left there is a lightness in my heart and a spring in my step i see the old pictures of our meetings and shake my head i can t believe i sat through that garbage i can t believe i participated in it and i m so so glad i m out and i love our new town and our new community i get asked so many times about why i left california and it is always asked with a sort of hushed incredulous tone i left because after spending most of my life there and being born and raised there it wasn t home my niece told me a while back you were just in the wrong circles for the first time in my life i feel like i m home like i belong like this is where i fit i think she was right i know my old circles think that i m a far left liberal lunatic who has gone off the rails i know that they tell each other that i left the safety of the church and now i don t have any rails on my thinking i know that i am the topic of many conversations as a warning but i don t care those in the cave never understand the ones who got away those who are afraid that god will punish them if they step out of line will never understand a god who loves freely and unconditionally and calls us to freedom to release fear and suspicion and hatred of the other but those who got away understand completely they are my people a lot has happened in three years my thinking has become for firm and less dogmatic all at the same time the destruction caused by conservative reformed churches is reaching its peak and will burst soon for those who don t know pete hegseth is a member of a cult lead by doug wilson who has been corrupting reformed churches for thirty years those who think like wilson have his books on their bookracks in church and follow him were those who destroyed my congregation the breaking of covenants that i saw repeatedly in my denomination is now carried out internationally and is destabilizing the whole world this is one area that i really wish i wasn t right about but i had warned about it for years and then i see the architect of patriarchal rot standing in the pentagon preaching and i say i was right about this those who whisper in hushed tones about feminism like it is a dirty word those who crush the poor and the widow those who mock the orphan and the fatherless by the way in those circles a feminist is a woman who expressed disagreement with her husband or her male church leaders they believe that feminists must be defeated or society will fall apart but this rot will tear itself apart we live in similar times to isaiah who wrote to the faithful outcasts fear not says your god i will never leave you nor forsake you and he never has even through fiery trials hard times hard goodbyes nights of vomiting heart palpitations heart attacks he is still there walking with us he hates what is happening because he hates injustice and cruelty the one who loves me also loves iranian schoolgirls and hates what happened to them and he will come in vengeance when the time is right for now he is giving us all a chance to reflect and turn away from this course before it is too late but i fear it might be too late hold on be kind to each other encourage your neighbors give to the food banks fight for justice and integrity and walk humbly with your god and he will lift you up leave a comment filed under uncategorized tagged as bible christianity faith god jesus january 25 2026 4 49 pm comply or die i moved to minnesota a few years ago now i joined a wonderful congregation of believers at first english lutheran it is called first english because it was the first english speaking lutheran church in faribault if my memory serves we have recently celebrated our 168th year as a congregation i wasn t a member the whole time but it is still a milestone everyone is so kind and generous and loving most are norwegian they will engage in gentle humor towards the swedish lutherans from time to time but i ve found my people i have never been a part of a scandinavian community of people before they don t expect me to eat lutefisk but it is available at the local grocer hot dish is a real thing minus 15 isn t really too bad it s the wind that makes it cold i m getting used to it they find the culture that i escaped from very strange i think it is hard for minnesotans to grasp what is actually happening with ice they seem a bit shellshocked but they show up for the community but i grew up with the culture that spawned ice i grew up in christian nationalism i remember the potlucks where the members of the church would laugh and joke about killing muslims queers libtards mexicans the culture that i was steeped in celebrated the murder of george floyd as a righteous killing and the death of breonna taylor as her own just deserts i could see the men in my former culture in a pick up truck stalking and killing ahmed arbery for jogging in the wrong neighborhood when i was writing about those things at the time when i was appalled at the senseless slaughter the response was so immediate and huge that my heart would palpate i would wake up vomiting my friends called me woke liberal a social justice warrior the church started splintering i would delete the posts go house to house trying to explain but they were convinced i was communist liberal woke feminist my new lutheran friends have a hard time understanding it if you were a democrat you would never admit it my father would have disowned me screamed at me denounced me he passed in 2016 he made life so miserable for my democrat cousins that they had to block him on facebook one man i know was alienated from his son because his son was a democrat his son would invite him over but have to hide the joe biden sign or this man would just scream at him for hours these aren t isolated it was the water we drank the air we breathed the atmosphere we lived in anyone who didn t comply to the right wing agenda would be shunned ridiculed or denounced publicly at church meetings the jokes were continuous the assumption was that every good christian was republican authoritarian homeschooled everyone either was homeschooled or went to christian school the curriculum was a beka it is strange for me to be in a culture that doesn t know a beka america was founded on christian principles slavery was good the wrong side won the civil war the earth was 6000 years old secular science has an agenda to destroy christian values for reading everyone used mcguffey bad boys deserved to be beaten and shamed good boys have good things happen to them children are to be obedient and if they are not there is the rod of correction applied to the backside pain and fear purposefully inflicted are redemptive submit and you won t be hurt cower in fear and they might leave you alone recite the catechism word for word don t deviate from any declaration of the church if we say that cremation is evil you say yes we will comply if we say that creation happened in six literal days you say yes we will comply if we say that women can t be trusted in positions of leadership you say yes we will comply anyone who steps out of line is publicly shamed and if any girl finds herself pregnant and is stupid enough to ask the church for help she will be compelled to stand in front of the congregation and ask their forgiveness sanctified slut shaming you know and then they would all wring their hands in concern over the scourge of abortion if we say that life begins at conception you say yes we will comply if we say that the nine year old girl seduced the grown man you say yes we will comply if we say that a man has the right and duty to train up his wife and discipline her as he sees fit you say yes we will comply my norwegian friends would have no idea what to do with this read tia levings read valerie hobbs read rachael denhollender read sheila wray gregoire read kristen kobes du mez read aimee byrd read rachel miller green it is all there documented but they already have the answer paint them all with the feminist brush they re liberal women they have an agenda they reject motherhood so they try to fulfill themselves with progressive ideas yes i ve heard it all when you say i m not going to comply anymore this is wrong the fallout is immediate and huge i was diagnosed with severe anxiety i lost my home my church my job and moved to minnesota for my own health to start over and it was a wonderful move and terrifying what happens is this the thought of complying is terrifying but the thought of not complying is even more terrifying satan tells you that you will lose everything if you do not comply he tells you that your life would be in danger he tells you that you will be beaten or shot he tells you that you will lose your job or your family or your kids or your community and for many people that thought is too much it is easier to comply it is easier to just turn the mind off and go along and then we get ice we groomed an entire generation to comply just obey but we forget that ice isn t about obeying the law they don t want to enforce immigration law that was being enforced better under other administrations this is about returning to white power this is about trying to get the world back where the murderers of black children can grow up free bragging about it until they die this is about white men keeping black and brown people in their place cowering at their feet this is the kkk with new masks the world that we were creating where the murderers of ahmed and george were held accountable is unacceptable they were uppity they stepped out of line they didn t comply if we don t make them comply we will lose our place and our nation this is what it is about but something is different here in minnesota the norwegian lutherans didn t comply they don t play by the rules because they weren t brought up with those rules comply or die isn t really in the vocabulary in the lutheran church like it is in the reformed churches and ice doesn t know what to do with that so they hit beat kick spray punch and the more they do the less minnesotans are to comply so this is where we are by the way if you think i m talking about trump you missed it trump is a nasty human turd that only cares about money vengeance and power for himself he doesn t care about white power trump only sees trump so he is the ultimate loser this is steven miller krisi noem hegseth vance bondi and that press talking barbie they aren t about the law this is about comply or die they ve been steeped in the same culture i came out of ccm separatism racism misogyny all baptized with a thin christian veneer but if you stepped out of line you paid a heavy price if you sent your kids to public school if you listened to pink floyd or elton john if you wore modern clothes if you read secular literature the fallout was immense i had a man visit my congregation for a few weeks who wrote me a scathing letter because he found out that my wife read books that i didn t vet first for her how can you sanctify your wife if you allow her to read whatever she wants his wife had a lot of stomach issues and wondered why i m pretty sure my new friends think i make this stuff up this is why the reformed and evangelical world is still solidly behind the terror in our community they were raised with the board of correction beating them into submission and they still think that is christianity the devil is a liar you don t actually lose everything you gain your soul yes you might lose family friends or community but the reward is immense you gain that which can never be taken away you gain freedom you can breathe again you can laugh and sing and dance you could even get a tattoo if you would like or an earring i kid what you really gain is a wide space to stand in infinite possibility you are set free from the prison that you were in and there are those who may even lose their life but they will find a hundred fold more in the life to come god will not let one drop of blood fall to the ground in vain more to come but i m tired one more thing it is time for me to decide if i want to keep paying to keep this site open i m tired and i wonder at times if anyone even listens or if they ever did if you would like for me to continue this site i ve attached a donation form which would be helpful one time monthly yearly make a one time donation make a monthly donation make a yearly donation choose an amount 5 00 15 00 100 00 5 00 15 00 100 00 5 00 15 00 100 00 or enter a custom amount your contribution is appreciated your contribution is appreciated your contribution is appreciated donate donate monthly donate yearly 13 comments filed under uncategorized tagged as bible christianity faith god jesus december 4 2025 11 51 am the patriarchy ends at christmas anyone who has read through or has tried to read through the old testament has run into the genealogies you know the he beget so and so s that seems to go on interminably but there is a reason for them god promised that he would send a redeemer through abraham through isaac through jacob through david solomon and so forth he promised that through the nation of israel he would redeem every nation on earth israel was his firstborn son and would inherit everything in the heavens and the earth if they were obedient and faithful and so fathers beget sons the lord seeking the godly seed originally the patriarch of the family served as the priest for the family but this went away when aaron and his sons were appointed it wasn t fatherhood that made men priests it was the promise of god pointing to his godly seed for even the sons of levi needed purifying even israel needed redeeming throughout the old testament you read about slaughters murders destruction executions rapes slavery idolatry sacrificing children to molech god eventually cast israel away they would not be the firstborn son that god was seeking jeremiah 15 3 6 rsv 3 i will appoint over them four kinds of destroyers says the lord the sword to slay the dogs to tear and the birds of the air and the beasts of the earth to devour and destroy 4 and i will make them a horror to all the kingdoms of the earth because of what manasseh the son of hezekiah king of judah did in jerusalem 5 who will have pity on you o jerusalem or who will bemoan you who will turn aside to ask about your welfare 6 you have rejected me says the lord you keep going backward so i have stretched out my hand against you and destroyed you i am weary of relenting in case you were wondering how a god of...
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