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e losers perhaps if we are strong enough and build a strong enough city to keep out the gays and the trans people then god will look on us with favor again our president might be a pedophile a lying conman a thief a rapist but at least he isn t a liberal it s about identity seeking to overcome shame if we our tribe can make it to the top then perhaps we can silence that voice deep inside that tells us we are losers and not worthy of love or honor or respect that maybe somebody will find out that our whole lives are lived as imposters wearing clothes that don t belong to us trying to cover our shame but what if i told you this we could be the best in our field widely recognized as experts wear the finest clothes have the tallest statues and have everyone tell us how marvelous we are we could cover our mantles with the best trophies superbowl rings grammys emmys tonys wimbledon cups and whatever other big trophies people want or even have the most stunning wife the aura that stops the conversations in rooms the awed hushed whispers when we enter you could be so good at your job that companies are selling assets to be able to afford you and you could command any price you want you could play the piano so well that the mere whisper of a possible recital will cause riots we could master the entry and cause the world to weep when we exit ok your turn what is it that you dream of that would stop the suspicion in your mind that you might be a loser now imagine that you have it whatever accolade you dream of yours here s the good news god has recognition glory honor and love waiting for you that is so much greater than anything you could dream of that every glory of this world is dung compared to it and here is the beauty of it you don t have to hurt children you don t have to crush the votes of minorities you don t have to own the libs you don t have to prove that you are better than those other people you don t have to trample anyone but here is the catch that same honor that same glory waits for everyone who wants it the people you despise publicans and sinners homeless people addicts gay people trans people hurting people poor and hungry people the homeless person that you despised and voted to take away his shelter will be honored by god at god s right hand in fact one of the beauties of god s infinite nature is that everyone who wants to feast with god on the last day has a seat at the table at god s right hand god s right hand is big enough for everyone and those who are there won t diminish your glory at all because the glory that we seek is christ s and he gives it to everyone who asks how will that change how you live and act right now maybe we can work hard at resting just stop then you can use your gifts not for honor and glory but to make the lives of others better you can minister to one another you can live so that the greatest reward is to reflect the goodness and generosity of god s character so clearly that others feel it and then you will silence that voice that seeks to find honor by shaming others stop seeking superiority as a person as part of a group as a congregation maybe quit with the distinctives you reformed people know what i mean maybe those things that you think make you just a little superior to every other denomination is what is keeping you from the kingdom of god maybe the lust to fence the table is simple erecting barriers trying to determine who is worthy enough to come to the feast let s try a different way of looking at it let s look at lifting everyone up instead of repeating the same tired fox news racism try actually listening to black voices see what they have endured even at your hands learn to do better instead of repeating the same bullshit doug wilson mark driscoll misogyny listen to the women in your lives see what they endure and what their fears are what they desire and yes that will take a lot of time because right now they really don t trust you you may need to start with some books that you normally might not read read minority authors read women authors understand a different perspective read from different faith traditions read from different theological backgrounds far too often the evangelical church puts on the big show of lifting god on high while at the same time they tear his creation down it doesn t work like that lift each other up ensure that every voice is valued and heard even if you don t agree ensure that every vote is valued and counted every human has access to the same benefits and necessities that you have access to after all the heart of the christian life is what do you have that you did not receive and above all quit putting fences around the table god invites everyone to the feast those who won t go are those who are afraid that there might be sinners there until we understand that glory that waits for us we will forever be trying to silence our shame and we won t ever do it when all we need to do is understand how deep wide high and broad the love of jesus is we are are so much more worthy that we think we are one time monthly yearly make a one time donation make a monthly donation make a yearly donation choose an amount 5 00 15 00 100 00 5 00 15 00 100 00 5 00 15 00 100 00 or enter a custom amount your contribution is appreciated your contribution is appreciated your contribution is appreciated donate donate monthly donate yearly leave a comment filed under uncategorized april 16 2026 9 28 pm on being tired i am tired of this timeline many of you like me are discouraged and stricken silent by the enabling of the republican party we have a madman running us out of weapons and destroying the economy of the world because he is running out of treasuries to loot and republicans shrug i am honestly exhausted but then i remember that this isn t the only time in history people have felt this way gideon was told by god to whittle his army down to 250 elijah didn t know about the 7000 still awake and aware in israel he thought he was alone nehemiah s generation wept at the smallness of what they were doing and paul said when i am weak he is strong there are battles beyond our senses that we know nothing about the kingdom of god isn t won with swords and spears and bombs it is always won with love and joy patience and faith the victors in this world are often mistaken as losers just as christ was mocked on the cross they are hiding in caves being run out of the pagan temples masquerading as churches sometimes beaten poor hungry think about hebrews 11 of whom the world was not worthy god says but far worse than all of this is the betrayal of family and friends wondering what happened to their moral bearings were they just pretending why are they ok with rape with bombing schools and churches with taking money and healthcare from children the hardest is knowing that people you loved and trusted are racist to the core sexist to the core violent irrational morally repugnant ignorant foolish romans 1 29 32 they were filled with all manner of wickedness evil covetousness malice full of envy murder strife deceit malignity they are gossips slanderers haters of god insolent haughty boastful inventors of evil disobedient to parents foolish faithless heartless ruthless though they know god s decree that those who do such things deserve to die they not only do them but approve those who practice them see paul dealt with it too this bothers me more than anything else watching the evangelical and reformed churches rot from the inside out and i feel alone and helpless and not at all confident that the midterms will fix anything because no matter what the vote says i don t know how much of our infrastructure our treaties our social nets our medical care our food supplies will remain but worse than that are the millions who will still say but biden s laptop but here is what i know throughout the history of the world god delighted to do much with very few he uses the weak to confound the wise the humble to confound the arrogant love to overthrow evil don t lose heart it isn t about numbers it is about shining the love of jesus in this dark dark world it s about building a prayer room for your muslim neighbors and making sure they can worship in peace it s about making sure your jewish neighbors are free from threat or your palestinian neighbors can weep over the atrocities in their homeland without fear of reprisals or your gay neighbors being able to live and love and shine their colors it s about being a safe place for the one person that needs you to be a safe place love is spread one person at a time nowhere does the bible say that we as believers are required to point out what is wrong with everyone jesus didn t do it the apostles didn t do it it is a holdover from american revivalism the four spiritual laws are crap yes repent from your sins and report your neighbor s crimes against others but be at peace with one another love your neighbor as yourself talk about beauty and feasts and wine and joy talk about love and patience and shepherds and sheep leave conviction to the spirit he knows how to do it without crushing and breaking and remember the kingdom of heaven is for those who mourn those who are poor those on the outskirts those without strength and those are the exact qualities that crush satan s head that s my evening ramble and now to bed one time monthly yearly make a one time donation make a monthly donation make a yearly donation choose an amount 5 00 15 00 100 00 5 00 15 00 100 00 5 00 15 00 100 00 or enter a custom amount your contribution is appreciated your contribution is appreciated your contribution is appreciated donate donate monthly donate yearly leave a comment filed under uncategorized tagged as bible christianity faith god jesus april 15 2026 9 06 pm mercy and goodness are relentless i was on the verge of a thought the other day last september as many of you know i was very close to death against all the odds and all the science i survived it i didn t have any epiphanies i had some strange visions and some bad dreams that were most likely my body trying to process the trauma that i went through but i didn t have any i have a newfound lease on life moments i was happy to get hope i m happy that i m pretty healthy i m happy that i don t have any lasting damage to my heart but those really weren t any epiphanies i mostly wanted to get back to work because i thought they might be missing me turns out they weren t but that s another story but no life is fragile grab every moment moments i ve never been a seize the day kind of guy i just kind of try to get through without the day noticing me very much and that didn t really change in september another thing that didn t change was the driving thought that i m supposed to be doing something grand that somehow god expects me to be doing something but i m not sure what that is my stemi just made that worse god spared my life what am i supposed to be doing with it i asked my pastor about it and he said what about just accepting it as a gift i thought about that and i still think about it maybe i don t have to earn it maybe god isn t expecting me to do anything to pay him back maybe he doesn t have a i ve done so much for you what have you done for me lately thoughts like so many preachers thinks he has maybe he just wants me to breathe the spring air and swirl the scotch around my tongue maybe he wants me to really enjoy the smell of lavender or the petichor after a warm rain maybe just go for a walk or buy some blueberries or eat an ice cream cone and stop feeling guilty about it maybe he just wants me to kiss my wife and hug my kids and send my grandkids silly postcards and remind them how much they are loved and maybe he wants me to want those same things for my neighbor where he also can go for a walk without fear or kiss his loved ones without worrying what the neighbors think or have a full belly when they put their kids down maybe we should want them to not have to be afraid of getting medical care because they might be terrorized by the government or lose their homes because they can t pay how wonderful would it be if everyone could just sit under their own vine and own fig tree knowing that it wasn t because they magically lifted themselves up by their bootstraps which is impossible but because a good god loves them and provides for them and maybe god wants me to want my neighbor to thrive and blossom and smell the lavender without fear or hug their kids without wondering when they ll be taken away maybe god just wants us to stop stop the fighting and the wars and the bombs and the meddling and the moral busyness and just smile wave at our neighbors invite them to sit on the porch for a bit and have some tea and just for the love of god quit fussing over how they dress how they look or where they come from i digressed sorry my thought that i was on the verge of having was this one i m so tired of trying to prove that i m worthy of love or deserving of life and maybe god doesn t expect me to maybe i just need to accept his love and my life as a gift that he isn t expecting any payment for it flits around my head looking for a place to land but it has a hard time finding a roost so it flits away and for a while i go back trying to earn the gift but idea flits in again mercy and goodness are stubborn and they pursue relentlessly i wish i could truly learn how to just stop running one time monthly yearly make a one time donation make a monthly donation make a yearly donation choose an amount 5 00 15 00 100 00 5 00 15 00 100 00 5 00 15 00 100 00 or enter a custom amount your contribution is appreciated your contribution is appreciated your contribution is appreciated donate donate monthly donate yearly leave a comment filed under uncategorized tagged as faith jesus life love writing april 7 2026 6 01 pm hatred runs strong one of the things that has grieved me over the years in 2015 i thought that surely the grab em by the comment would end his support among christians then i thought it would be mocking the disabled then maybe the disastrous economy the revelation that he stole labor from every single one of his contractors his racism his hatred of women then maybe i thought it would be the epstein files would raping children be enough to end the christian support and the answer is no hatred runs deep fox news rush limbaugh hannity pulpits all over the country stoked the hatred and fear of the religious right until there weren t any values left just hate hatred of trans people hatred of brown people hatred of foreigners hatred of biden hatred of kamala hate hate hate so it didn t matter to his base as long as he stoked their hatred and now just like the bible predicted they are no longer able to judge good and evil it s demonic so now djt could come out and speak to the nation in pumps and full makeup wearing a negligee and his base would cheer and call it skilled negotiation he could strip naked an...