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t just me or is that odd dispatchers cops and family i would love to here some funny stories on such and un funny topic got any honorable mention the following was in the comments section of this blog but it deserves to be spotlighted it waaaaay tops my story for humor and creativity way to go stacy i was dispatched to an attempt by candy bar once i was like what the we get on scene an a trooper walks over to me laughing his butt off and goes he is a diabetic and he says he will kill himself by eating a candy bar if we don t leave so i walk in and asked him what was going on and he was like come any closer and i ll eat it don t think i wont i was like hey you know what i was just getting ready to eat my lunch when they called us and i am really really hungry can i have a small bite of your candy bar and he goes ooooh sure of course and handed it to me i proceeded to hand it to the cop who threw it away haha the guy was like awww i can t believe i fell for that the cops were all upset that they didn t think of it first and transported the guy to cpep it was pretty funny keep em coming guys these are great stories posted by rebecca at 16 10 07 6 comments sunday october 07 2007 the deerly departed i have told a deer tail or two in my time as i mentioned before they run a bit rampant in wonderful city i have told of a time where i got 7 calls for an injured deer while at the same time one block away i only got one call of a man down on a busy street corner i recently told the tail of the woman cavorting in the middle of the night with a deer that was well cavorting in the middle of the night but this tail takes the cake a deer was run over or heck perhaps it died of natural causes but it ended up at the 2600 block of the major avenue this all started at 0715hrs it started slowly at first hi i d like to report a dead deer at the 2600 block of main ave ok no problem i ll call the humane society and they will pick it up soon after hello you need to send someone out fast there is a dead deer out here and it is right in front of the middle school the children are going to see it ok no problem the humane society has been called tell them it s an emergency now in the beginning i asked why why is it an emergency by the 10 th call i just said ok our chief was out patrolling totally cool right he was doing traffic stops and everything then he called in a dead deer et tu next i got a hysterical caller that wanted us to change the position of the deer because it s legs are sticking straight up and that is just upsetting great i can only imagine the calls we d get for re positioning a dead deer later still the humane society was very busy and this was considered low priority a woman called because there are men in a white van moving a dead deer they re moving it yes ma am they notified me they just trying to help by moving it out of the flow of traffic can they do that she cried clearly very upset um sure if they want to i answered i am still not sure why that was so upsetting to her about a dozen more dead deer calls later that seemed to be increasing in urgency an officer came up on the air with a callout for department of public works before i even thought about it i said go ahead unless you are reporting a dead deer the officer called me up a moment later laughing and said he was going to put a sign on top of the deer that said i am ok i have gone to a better place the humane society must have finally came and picked up the deer shortly after that because at 2 45 in the afternoon the dead deer calls finally stopped whew just in time i can only imagine the frenzied callers if it had still been out there when school got out venison anyone posted by rebecca at 7 10 07 6 comments tuesday october 02 2007 i am so proud here is a picture of my brother jim he sent the picture from his cell phone with the text new bike new ticket wiping away a tear i m just so darn pround sniff is it just me or is the chp officer a bit fluffy for an officer posted by rebecca at 2 10 07 4 comments wednesday september 26 2007 i ll write more soon i only have a moment or two so i would like to share a couple of quick ones said by my favorite salty officer when clearing a barking dog complaint me and the dog reached an understanding and he agreed to my terms advised cooperative 10 8 i ll be out with a couple of independent strawberry entrepreneurs later i dispatched this same officer to a hot call i was a little rusty due to lack of recent shifts so i was so proud that i remained calm relayed the suspects descriptions and no weapons mentioned past contacts etc when i finally un keyed the mic to take a huge relieved breath the officer said that s all great but where am i going i forgot to tell him where to go duh that s dispatching 101 location location location mortifying posted by rebecca at 26 9 07 3 comments saturday september 22 2007 pop quiz hot shots first person to tell me why it is a crime that gas prices have reached 2 86 wins the admiration of their peers hint 2 61 would have been even funnier posted by rebecca at 22 9 07 4 comments wadical let er rip i get emails of comments so that if someone comments on something older i ll still see it i found this comment on my 24 beers in a case 24 hours in a day coincidence i think not entry it was written yesterday at about 7pm i left the spelling errors censored the language a bit obviously this guy thought he found a different kind of site i was going to delete it i did delete it from the post then i thought why not have a little fun wadical you are so much better at this kind of thing do you mind responding to our wayward visitor from trenton new jersey thank you statcounter you are both incredibly creepy and very useful anonymous said cops suck there dirty and there d ks for no good reason because they think there better than the law complete bulls t i had a cop tell mer personally he saw a coke dealer driving around and he knew he was a dealer and so the cop pulled him over and smashed his tail light with his flashlight so he would have a reason to pull him over thats so d k you cant do that its completely illegal that code 7 picture is that really right to have that many police in one place honestly its just a huge waste of and resources wight wing wadical said knuckles cracking get the kids out of the room first of all i got no respect for anonymous contributers who have such limited vocabulary that they must resort to no less than 3 obscenities in the course of one very poorly constructed paragraph from the content and quality of your composition it is obvious that you re approximately ankle deep in the gene pool drawing into question both the validity of your claim as well as your assessment of it but let us assume for one moment for the sake of your pathetic argument that what you say happened actually happened and that you re not just recalling some episode of reno 9 1 1 you watched while cranked up on some of that coke you re so concerned about being unmolested in its distribution let us assume for a fraction of a moment that it would be preferable for a community to have coke dealers on the street driving around without any fear of coming into contact with the local constabulary who gives a crap the dealer his customer and jesse jackson that s who you ain t jesse jackson so i guess that kinda narrows it down now doesn t it because i assure you that a staggering majority of the tax paying job holding registered voting citizens who actually choose to contribute to the gross national product rather than suckle from its worn out teat certainly don t give a tinker s damn about their friendly neighborhood crack dealer s tail light nor his civil liberty to roam the streets you consider it so d ck and completely illegal i consider it more like pass interference in the end zone in other words acceptable considering the alternative would be that the crack slinging malcontent would complete his transaction unfettered thus contributing in no small part to the decline of the community who s responsibility it is for the offending police officer to protect and serve when you choose to live outside the law you forfeit your right to cry foul when a rule is cracked to catch you doing so go back to sleep anonymous if your local supplier gets locked up there will no doubt be another who is willing to step up and take his place posted by rebecca at 22 9 07 8 comments wednesday september 19 2007 breastfeeding in not a crime this post will seem totally out of left field but not to me today i have got babies on the brain still no luck on that front btw i have previously mentioned my stance on nursing i know it is a natural bodily function but so is urinating and you won t see me doing that in public either earlier today i was cuddling with little man and he is getting so big i was thinking back to when he was a newborn and this story popped into my head this may be one of those you had to be there situations but really when has that stopped me before so we have a sgt who is a very good cop but he is very strict with dispatchers i was working an 8 hour shift and i asked the sgt to please come into dispatch me sir i need a 20 minute break sarge you already had your lunch break so i m sorry you can t have a 20 minute break i ll get an officer to give you a bathroom break if you want me um i am going to need a little more time than that sarge why me i just need more time sarge well you are not entitled to another break me well technically that s the point this kind of break i am entitled to boy i didn t want to spell this one out i am so private about such matters you know i begin pleading with my eyes chanting in my head dontmakemesayitdontmakemesayit sarge no i don t know me um sir you have daughters right sarge not following my train of thought yes me and your wife did she well you know um sarge what me practically shouting nurse nurse did she nurse sarge shouting back oh oh he turned red accidentally looks at the boobs in question gets more flustered and begins talking to the ceiling oh yes mrs sarge did that that is the most natural thing in the world you know it is so natural that me yes yes cutting him off because i am absolutely mortified so sarge oh no problem absolutely no problem i will get an officer in here immediately me there is no rush i just needed to warn you so arrangements could be made sarge not a problem officer s will be in here at 9pm promptly so you can pu me thank you thank you sir sorry for the hassle there is no need to tell officer s why i ll be as quick as possible then at 8 55pm officer s walks in officer s is one of my favorites he is a salty dog and he is not a softie by any stretch of the imagination so right away his gentle demeanor was making me nervous officer s so go ahead and take your time um feel free to use the bathroom at the end of the hall it s bigger perhaps if you like you can um light some candles and maybe play some soft music or something at this point i thought i was going to die of embarrassment me no i ll be back in 20 or less thank you officer s no problem it s the most natural thing me thank you anyway after this embarrassing incident i didn t take any more shifts until i was done nursing it was a pain all the way around and although the agency was wonderful as usual i just felt weird about asking for special time told you it was a random entry posted by rebecca at 19 9 07 4 comments saturday september 15 2007 welcome gentle readers new and old i would like to take a moment to thank all of my loyal readers you guys are so awesome i love that there are so many other cops and dispatchers who share similar experiences i would also like to take a moment to welcome all the new readers from the command staff at wonderful pd and some old friends from huge pd i really like this blog i like the feeling of venting and commraderie that i get with other people out there who get it i have so many stories to share from the 4 very different pds i have worked at my own life stuff and stories from my husband s job this blog is my creative outlet it s mine mine mine mine mine and as it is mine i reserve the right to exaggerate real life events to make them more enjoyable to the reader at times i have taken two stories and blended them into one i have always changed names times and skewed actual events just enough to protect my privacy both at home and on the job be forewarned comments on my entries are welcomed and encouraged however any comments that i feel are inappropriate or i feel may lead to discocery of my location at home or at any of the jobs i have ever worked past and present will be promptly deleted then my husband will hunt you down just kidding or am i that said allow me to share my latest bonehead moment i sent officer f on what i thought was just a usuall citizen contact officer assist later from talking to the caller i realized it was a potential officer safety 5150 contact so i said officer c to cover officer f due to his unstable nature long open miked pause as i realized how that sounded clarification the caller is unstable not officer f geez and that s what happens when i go a month without working i get rusty posted by rebecca at 15 9 07 4 comments friday september 14 2007 a vicious circle the entire police department received the following email which began like this all sworn personnel hostile work environment sexual harassment prevention training and taser deployment training will be conducted on friday that s as far as i went and i just couldn t stop laughing are they combining those classes are they going to taze the people who are sexually harassing others and wouldn t that in effect create a hostile work environment it s 3 am i honestly have no idea if that is as funny as i think it is or if i ve gotten loopy i ll tell you after i attend the class tomorrow morning boy i ll be careful what i say though morning sarge you look nice today tzzzzzzzt ahhhh i take it back i take it back oh man i ve got the giggles now posted by rebecca at 14 9 07 3 comments thursday september 13 2007 me talk real good the problem with going one entire month without working is that i get rusty i get my rhythm back pretty quickly but sometimes i just make an a of myself i had sent officer m to a call that seemed to be a single officer kinda lame citizen s assist outside agency assist call i then determined i should send a back up unit due to some additional information so i said unit 1 to cover unit 3 due to his unstable nature long pause as i slowly realized how that sounded clarification the caller is unstable not unit 3 sigh yes i am that talented a dispatcher posted by rebecca at 13 9 07 1 comment tuesday september 11 2007 let s be realistic i haven t had many shifts recently hence my lack of posts i just completed a class on hostage negotiations for dispatchers it was an awesome class i really learned some great techniques that i will employ with my next suicidal caller as...