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celebration of life where has the past 7 months go to saturday january 23 2010 the last entry was in may 2009 what happened in the past 7 months has it been frutiful and did i accomplished alot or was it just a series of activities after activites time for reflection to take stock of my life before 7 years fly by and i m none the wiser hope deferred makes the heart sick but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life sunday may 17 2009 proverbs 13 12 hope deferred makes the heart sick but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life pastor dom preached about pressing in and holding on to god s promises inspite of his silence discouraging words and rejection opened a new book when god waits and there on the second page was this verse again hope deferred makes the heart sick but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life god is good and has been active in helping me grow in areas of family friends and work but the relationship area of my life has been like a desert stripped of life for the past few years my soul sighs whenever it s baby dedication service or whenever i hold a baby close in my arms when serving in nursury it sure doesn t seem like a hard thing starting a family for the billions world wide moreover i m not fugly am easy to get along and can even be humorous on a good day so why am excluded from this rite of passage of life and left feeling incomplete i ve heard many great testimonies and had my fair share of don t worry you will find someone one day however with age catching up and my godly man nowhere in sight i can t help but ask god will i ever have the chance to hold my newborn close plant a kiss on his forehead as my husband gently put his arms around us polishing tuesday april 7 2009 have not found any lunch buddy since i started work three weeks ago this is a first anyways since i don t like the idea of lunching alone i have been spending the one hour doing time alone with god twag the first few times i indulged in oh so poor thing no one to lunch with thoughts but now i m looking forward to that one hour and thankful that i have such a nice comfy corner at work to do twag i m sure i ll get a lunch buddy eventually but till then it feels as if god is determined to spend time with me to build me up before releasing me into this new season of trials ephesians 6 14 stand firm then with the belt of truth buckled around your waist as good friday approaches i can t help feeling thankful that a young man jesus at his prime will give up his life for me a scapegoat for my sins he loved me unconditionally even before i know him how beautiful is that 1 john 4 19 we love because he first loved us i ve been worried since i took on my new job due to the high expectations and various other issues the repeat message i kept getting from various sources was look back at your life have god ever failed you matthew 14 31 jesus reached out his hand and caught him you of little faith he said why did you doubt never god might have put me through trials but he never ever left me though it sure feels that way when i was at rock bottom however it s always at that point when i m force to look to him and say i surrender your will be done yes my god is a loving god but it s also because of that that he permits trials for me to grow or return to the path i ve strayed away from rev 3 19 those whom i love i rebuke and discipline when i took up my previous job i was feeling inadequate and i questioned god why why do i have to humble myself and beg people for guidance why do i have to stand in front of close to hundred participants to present a topic i m not familiar with i cried initially wondering if i could but god remained faithful and sent his angels unexpected help every single time through this experience i learnt to be teachable and also have no qualms speaking in front of crowds the struggles finally made sense during my missions trip to india last year during the first two days my teammates were respectively called to share their testimonies in front of various groups pick me pastor kenny pick me i ll hope every time but it never happen i wanted to confront him and demand to share but god told me to wait finally i was assigned to share at a village rally at that moment standing on a make shift stage in front of close to two hundred people the pieces fell into place and the struggles i ve went through in my job made sense this is what god was preparing me for i felt like a piece of gem that have been polished by the trials and now i m ready ready to shine for god s glory another lesson i walked away was not to limit god i will be contented to share in front of a small group but he had hundreds in mind isaiah 55 9 as the heavens are higher than the earth so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts with that in mind though i m struggling in my job now i know god will eventually use whatever skills i ve acquired who knows it might be organising the largest church prayer conference in singapore or to be a missionary in china no matter what i just have to bear in mind that i m serving the lord and not man colossians 3 23 whatever you do work at it with all your heart as working for the lord not for men so remember not to box god up obey and let him use you for his full glory afterall we ve been redeemed by his blood so next time you stretch out your hands to worship him make it your way of telling him i surrender all my lips will shout for joy when i sing praise to youâ i whom you have redeemed psalm 71 23 jesus wept sunday march 29 2009 jesus wept this is the shortest verse in the bible john 11 35 he went through so much 40 days temptation harsh words demanding doubting followers without shedding a tear but when he saw his loved ones cry he wept seeing god in all situations saturday march 21 2009 it was a good day i was happy i could bring my nephew to dl again and he had fun it was a good day till my mom picked us up from church and on our way to lunch our car ran over the foot of a pedestrian we were on a narrow street and there was a family of four father mom sons walking along the roadsides both sides could have argued their case and heated words could have been exchanged so i braced myself and stepped out of the car he was visibly angry at first but instead of spewing vulgarities he regained his composure and calmly said it s ok let me sit down for a second first when we offered to send him to the clinic he declined and said he will just iced it at church first his wife was more concerned about his foot rather than accusing us of causing the injury and the teenagers were simply nonchalant does this happen to him often i wondered how can he be so calm cool and collected when a car just ran over his foot we drove him to his church and passed him our contacts my mom was shaken and my dad was angry when we told him about it at home sitting between the two of them in the midst of their argument i was upset as this wouldn t have happened if i haven t brought my nephew to church if i haven t sign up for tenet class in the afternoon a millions of if i haven t raced across my mind why now why now when my shoulders are already burdened and i was doing something good and definitely his will so why after wallowing in self pity i took a step back and asked myself where is this mel who was worshipping god in church an hour earlier who was moved by psalm 121 who wrote on her blog that she will sing no matter what where is she in all this it s so easy to miss god isn t it god s goodness and grace is present in all instances it must be and i refuse to believe otherwise psalm 121 where does my help come from my help comes from the lord the maker of heaven and earth he will not let your foot slip he who watches over you will not slumber soliciting prayer for the injured man his name is jacob and it s his left foot praying for healing and no long term injury thanks about ç¾ æ 5th blog europe was actually 2 summers ago in 2007 no didn t go to france nor saw the flower fields but i did rediscover god s â for me and that is worth more than all the pretty sights in the world this is a blog for me to share my blessings as well as struggles so come along now this is the day which the lord has made let us rejoice and be glad in it psalm 118 24 tagboard don t be a stranger view shoutbox shoutmix chat widget music makes the people come together yeah love songs fav sites useful links www joycemeyer org www trinity net www oprah com www wego com www pyotravel com www nciku com archives memories february 2009 march 2009 april 2009 may 2009 january 2010 layout from blogskin layout credits designer ink splash resources 1 2 3 4 inspiration 37pence