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Text of the page (random words):
ants you to be his master because without your firm guiding hand duke s life would be just an endless sea of emptiness and self doubt devoid of any meaning or purpose he s a typical canine in that regard dark ruminations about forgotten playthings aside i wonder if it isn t time to revisit the heroic pup as toy franchise model only with a 21th century spin my proposal has been prepared and is currently awaiting approval from the relevant powers that be the advances in electronics and toy design over the past three and a half decades mean that the oscar the pughuahua toy will include a voice activation feature where certain key words and phrases will cause him shake off his inertial topor and prance around the house on little chicken legs in case you were curious those phrases will be out mashed potato beef jerky go to bed and donut and yes there will be a variety of accessories sold separately of course dr alimantado tribute to the duke from best dressed chicken in town 1978 when he wasn t zipping over chasms or hauling around his rescue rickshaw tm the action dog spent his downtime napping in front of the space heater in his secret hq and dreaming to the sweet sounds of well crafted reggae depeche mode master and servant from some great reward 1984 love in the age of thatcher posted by bitterandrew at 3 40 pm 1 comments labels advertisements dogs nostalgia oscar reggae retro synth toys tuesday november 11 2008 nothing you can touch find a gap in the market and fill it preferably in a more efficient manner than your competitors can manage that axiom might seem straightforward enough but it can be highly problematic when applied to industrial capitalism s economies of scale while you might make terrific profits upon unleashing a new must have commodity there comes a point where sales stagnate in the face of market saturation and demand based on consumption and attrition falls well short of your corporate target if you have a stove in your home you re not going to buy another unless it stops working somewhere down the line perfectly logical until you consider that economy is driven by consumption or more accurately the assumption of ever escalating rates of consumption zero sum is a heretical concept and plateaus are where the losers go to die from falling share prices this is why there is such a thing as marketing not marketing in the simple sense of letting potential customers know what you re offering and where to obtain it but marketing in the high powered arm twisting sense of creating urgent demands where they wouldn t otherwise exist there are many tools in the overarching arsenal such planned obsolescence which has worked so well for the automotive industry and hahahaha bluray presenting minor tweaks as essential features hello consumer electronics biz and broadening the perceived functionality of a product in a way that will convince folks to buy even more of it that last one is an especially favored tactic of the fine folks in the food industry these purveyors of processed palate pleasers have never passed up a chance to turn an iffy medical study into a full court this shit essential for your health press or an opportunity to present some product intensive nightmare as the cutting edge of suburban ranch home cuisine which brings us to this ad from the late 1970 s yep that s right miracle whip popsicles i am a man who likes his mayonnaise with which miracle whip has a tenuous and contentious familial relationship that mix of egg white oil and vinegar adds just the right tangy zing to a chicken or turkey sandwich and when i was a wee lad my favorite snack was mayo smeared on a slice of wonder bread don t judge until you ve walked a mile in my boots kay i also know people who use mayo or miracle whip in less orthodox culinary ways like as a dessert garnish that said i can t imagine what it would be like to snack on a frozen block of mayo substitute crammed with frozen strawberries and mini marshmallows i definitely do not want to imagine how such an unintuitive concoction would handle the long or maybe not so long trip through one s gastrointestinal tract i want to assume the strawberries would mellow the oil vinegar melange but given that someone thought that faux mayo sicles would appeal to the masses i can t assume anything to paraphrase bruno bettelheim the cultural history of the 1970 s is a nightmare from which we have just begun to awaken psychedelic furs pretty in pink from talk talk talk 1981 the 80 s however were pretty cool once you got past the rise of big conservatism and the constant fear of nuclear armageddon the music was certainly better at least during the first half of the decade note i must confess a certain nervousness about composing today s post as there is evidence that making fun of misguided foodstuffs from previous decades can turn a person into an unfunny self righteous batshit foaming at the mouth right wing ideologue i m trusting that you my dear readers will hold an intervention should i start to succumb to that malady posted by bitterandrew at 4 50 pm 13 comments labels advertisements is this any way to run an economy junk food mayo sicles new wave retro monday november 10 2008 parade of sub stellar objects oh how i miss those comics anthology series of yesteryear when i first started collecting comics many moons ago no trip to the flea market quarter bins which is where the bulk of my childhood collection came from was complete without an issue or three of marvel premiere marvel spotlight marvel presents or any of the reprint heavy 100 page giant books dc put out in the early 1970 s this was before peer and industry pressure imprinted themselves on my tastes and the criteria for selecting which comics to buy was based entirely on my own childhood whims thus my formative comics reading years featured a parade of of d list or lower characters and as the twig is bent the tree is inclined that the stories were utter crap for the most part didn t matter as much as the gnostic aspect of being the kid who eschewed superman boring or batman tired in favor of an optimistically branded sensational new character find of 197x or a back bencher given some solo face time there s something magical about that mix of youthful enthusiasm and gullibility where you re eight years old and totally jazzed about owning the first appearance of 3 d man or the torpedo while there s always a chance that such affections can calcify into an unfortunate state of fan entitlement and delusions of ownership that sincere fascination with the excitingly stupid and absurd is fandom s unpolluted state of grace it s not about collectability speculation or gratifying the yearnings for vicarious bad assery it s about enjoying entertaining nonsense for its own glorious sake comics publishing has changed since then and despite calls from the usual armchair quarterbacks the anthology format is a non starter in the current evironment readership has contracted across the board and publishers have retreated to the security of proven franchises the days when straight ticket marvel or dc buyers could float a solo appearance by woodgod or monark starstalker are unquestionably over if it was even feasible to begin with i didn t realize it back then but the quarter bins i dug through in the early 1980 s were filled with the previous decade s unsold stock the growing shift toward trades as long term revenue generators has effective killed the incentive to publish one off slush pile stories featuring obscure characters if a franchise is deemed strong enough to merit publication prevailing wisdom demands going with either a prestige format one shot or a limited or ongoing series better suited for publishing in collected format while it saddens me that scattershot risk taking wide tapestry approach of thirty years ago has gone the way of the dodo it is difficult enough these days to sustain sales on proven properties quality titles outside the major franchise boundaries manhunter blue beetle etc are lucky if they clear the two year hurdle before their cancellation is inevitably announced sure the next generation of pre adolescent quarter bin divers won t have the joy of discovering the 21st century s answer to woodgod but then again what kid reads superhero comics these days the innsmen things are different now from a 1967 single collected on green crystal ties vol 8 1998 here s another fine piece of midwestern garage rock this time from a michigan outfit unafraid of letting the bassline call the plays posted by bitterandrew at 2 10 pm 11 comments labels anthology comics garage rock nostalgia sunday november 09 2008 your kiss is not on the current agenda this man is clearly a visitor from an alternate universe things that need doing abridged version get super lumina s brake pads replaced scale the cherry tree out back and unhook the windchimes before the bad weather starts clean off and store the patio furniture figure out what i m going to do with pronounced woo bin get my christmas shopping sorted out before things go crazy migrate armagideon time to a wordpress setup on my own webhost dig out the sumacs that have snuck their way into the raspberry brambles get a haircut mail out some packages to my friends complete the articles i promised for other sites finish sorting and cataloging my popcult archives quit kidding myself that making lists will aid me in getting any of the above items done the blue things you can t say we never tried from the blue things story 1993 i suppose it depends of what you definition of tried is mine might be a little more generous than most and encompasses those transitory flashes of obligation i feel while playing videogames or otherwise procrastinating not that effort automatically equals success as kansas s the blue things later the bluethings discovered when their rather nice byrdsean sound failed to propel the outfit out of the midwestern regional market oh well there are worse fates than being a well regarded 1960 s garage rock obscurity posted by bitterandrew at 5 10 pm 3 comments labels complacency garage rock laziness lists work saturday november 08 2008 to the vanquished the spoils combining historical accuracy with cultural sensitivity here is the scenario your side has just been decisively defeated by the opposition while the rout can be credited in part to the superior leadership organization and tactics of the enemy the unfortunate but entirely forseeable consequences of your side s ideological and policy decisions were also a major factor even after launching every weapon in your arsenal and mobilizing your most loyal and reliable ground forces you had to fight and lose on fronts that you hadn t even anticipated from the outset so faced with such a colossal rebuke of your strategy tactics and global vision do you 1 humbly reflect on the errors in judgement that caused your loss and recalibrate your focus 2 brazenly attempt to dictate terms to the victorious side while refusing to acknowledge the reasons for your defeat if you answered 2 you could have a great future ahead of you as a right wing op ed columnist manual scan american way from a 1982 single collected on this is mod v 6 the united states of mod 1999 never apologize it s a sign of weakness if there s one thing i ve learned as an american it s that sociopathy and arrogance are more socially acceptable behaviors than signs of weakness are don t let the compliation title fool you this cut may be mod revival by association but the postpunk influences gang of four and pylon specifically are unmistakable posted by bitterandrew at 3 45 pm 3 comments labels election 2008 failure is a state of mind idiocy mod revival politics postpunk older posts home subscribe to posts atom about me bitterandrew i have two arms two legs a small scar on my cheek a bigger scar by my hairline and an aversion to rose tinted spectacles view my complete profile contact info email bitter dot andrew at gmail dot com my other baby pronounced woo bin if you love comics and music armagideon time will be your new favorite place on the world wide web chris bopst it s like the asynchronous version of the best radio program ever myk tzg 2 0 the struggle itself toward the heights is enough to fill a man s heart one must imagine sisyphus happy albert camus the myth of sisyphus the saddest day of your life isn t when you decide to sell out the saddest day of your life is when you decide to sell out and nobody wants to buy norman spinrad bug jack barron it was incredibly stupid yet we danced to it maura queen of animals it goes without saying but if you like the tracks i post here seek out and buy the originals tracks posted here will be available for around a month i don t do reposts although i won t rule out the occasional best of roundup feel free to leave comments follow bitterandrew at http twitter com blog archive 2008 339 november 15 goodbye city life and we can t build our dreams you treat me like a dog nothing you can touch parade of sub stellar objects your kiss is not on the current agenda to the vanquished the spoils you always leave a stain take a look at this from top to bottom the turd in the punchbowl a historic moment night turns to day wake up tired of being upset today i need some hate october 35 september 34 august 32 july 34 june 32 may 33 april 28 march 33 february 31 january 32 2007 378 december 34 november 32 october 35 september 30 august 34 july 38 june 33 may 33 april 28 march 32 february 29 january 20 2006 160 december 20 november 19 october 31 september 18 august 16 july 13 june 20 may 23 other places of note 17 seconds 8 bit gadfly am then fm art for a change austin martin bahlactus beaucoupkevin benjamin birdie bleedin out bully says comics oughta be fun cable tweed cactus mouth informer cleveland love comic gays dave ex machina dave s long box dr k s 100 page super spectacular echoed myron electric roulette fits and starts fusion 45 gad sir comics garagepunk com gather round children giant killer h m s impossible hallway of memories i correct myself i really am a lucky guy ac 44 i rock cleveland ickmusic jb s warehouse and curio emporium kbd records ken lowery s movie reviews last days of man on earth ledger domain little hits lurking rhythmically martin scorsese is really quite a jovial fellow metrokitty mojophenia mostly ghostly my dreams gave me away near mint heroes nuzz prowling wolf oddio overplay p e n g u i n d e v i l paranoia is freedom phoenix hairpins pith helmet planet mondo post traumatic sound disorder postmodernbarney pretty fizzy paradise progressive ruin punkphoto punks on postcards random panels redthreat retro music snob ringwood sexyloser siskoid s blog of geekery slave to shuffle soulfish stew sunset over slawit supervillain sweeping the nation tangognat the agoblinist the isb the johnny bacardi show the rack the record robot the riverboat captain the secret sun the vinyl villain this recording tzg 2 0 underneath...