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Text of the page (random words):
irst book i would like to talk about it abusive relationships it s a common accusation that the relationship between christian grey and anastasia steele is abusive this accusation is absolutely correct this post can illustrate it far better than i can christian grey is a terrifying individual anastasia steele spends most of the book bouncing back and forth between enthralled and terrified there is an actual rape scene which neither character quite acknowledges there s stalking abuse of power the use of alcohol and sex to manipulate but so what don t get me wrong if this were a real life relationship i d want ana to run screaming toward the hills as a reader i still do but ana is not a real person christian is not a real person no real people are harmed during the course of reading this dreck fifty shades is hardly the first book series to feature an abusive relationship and not really treat the subject with the seriousness it deserves romance novel shelves are rife with tales upon tales of alpha males and the women they walk on to be fair there are also stories of truly maddening harpies and the beta males they ve virtually castrated and there are even healthy portrayals of people in love but they are not relevant at this time romance novels aren t alone in this but they re an easy target because unlike say james bond for whom no also seems to be far more negotiable sometimes than it ought the relationship is the crux of the story fifty shades isn t the first or the worst example of this type it is however the most popular and of course it s that popularity that has a lot of us gasping and clutching our pearls when we read passages of this book this book is normalizing abuse this book is teaching women to accept abusive relationships bullshit no one has yet proven correlation or causation between liking fifty shades of grey or twilight before it or any of the countless examples before that and becoming a part of or staying in an abusive relationship something we really ought to remember is that while anastasia steele starts off as a virgin with no idea how to interact with a man in a sexual or romantic relationship the primary readership of these books are not the majority of the readers of fifty shades of grey are adult women who have had a broad depth of experience they know what a real relationship is like they know what abuse is and i d wager that the vast majority of them would run screaming if their husbands actually acted like christian grey and okay yes there are those essays and articles that pop up every so often i wish my husband was more like christian grey and i left my husband because he wasn t like christian grey but if you actually read them instead of looking horrified by the title you see fairly similar narratives there are some women whose needs aren t being met in their relationships and now they finally have a way to articulate this they re not looking for their husbands to actually abuse rape stalk and terrify them like christian does ana they just feel bored neglected and want a little bit of an exciting fantasy to spice things up a little rape abuse stories can be power fantasies and not always like you expect i mentioned above how fifty shades of grey isn t the only book in which you see rape or abuse romance novels featuring rape are hardly new one example that pops up on tv tropes all the time is e m hull s the sheik from 1919 the gor novels have a substantial female fanbase and one day i will blog my horrifying childhood experience with books by sharon green if you ever decide to look at the non consent reluctance category at literotica com or under the rape non con tags at archive of our own it becomes pretty clear that quite a lot of people the vast majority of them are not rapists or wannabe rape victims like to read and write erotic stories featuring rape i like to call this ravishment fantasy because while the situations in the stories books are rape and abuse without question and would be terrible if they happened to a real person the point of the story really isn t the rape the point is often the power fantasy and the power dynamic isn t always as obvious as it looks here s one good girl redeems a bad boy a cruel man meets an innocent girl and through her kindness and love she makes him want to be better than what he was he becomes a good man for her this is beauty and the beast this is fifty shades of grey in this sort of fantasy the rape and abuse are actually part of the woman s power fantasy yes christian grey can physically overpower anastasia steele yes he controls pretty much every aspect of her life but in the end ana essentially rewires who he is spoiler he s still a dick please note that while i use heteronormative scenarios for this the actual pairings in these stories do not have to be heterosexual male female nor does the male character have to be the one who is the abuser or rapist when it is a heterosexual relationship here s another good man can t help himself this one s a bit darker the man normally a morally upright fellow generally stoic and controlled meets a girl and simply cannot control himself he must have her he can t resist his urges this is what she does to him of course in the real world this is utter bullshit it is never the victim s fault when an abuser hurts him or her but escapism isn t the same as reality the key part of the fantasy of course is that the man in this fantasy is someone the woman desires one that she imagines never would have noticed her but he did notice her he can t help but notice her and of course he s torn up by guilt afterwards but now she knows how he feels so the power is in her hands the good girl who never gives up here s a kind of perverse power fantasy when you think about it our culture is so very fucked up about female sexuality promiscuity is bad fantasies are to be mocked and god forbid any woman over fifty confess to sexual inclinations ew and if you re raped you deserve it because only bad girls wear those skirts go to those parties walk in the park at night good girls don t do that but then how does a good girl get to explore sex it has to be forced onto her by someone she would have desired if she ever understood that kind of thing this is a moral high ground sort of power fantasy the fun of sex without the guilt the guy who provides everything whether you like it or not this is the rapey version of the cinderella fantasy really the girl is under a lot of pressure overwhelmed lacking the finer things in life and the guy rich and handsome swoops in to take her away he gives her clothes fine things takes her places but of course the girl being the modest sort and not a gold digger at all can t possibly just accept these gifts he must force her to take them she gets to enjoy everything she could ever want guilt free and he does this because he is obsessed with making her happy she might protest the sex too but he can give her everything she could possibly want there too without her ever needing to ask of course there are other reasons people read and write ravishment fantasies and this isn t intended to be an extensive list but using the ones above how many can you check off for fifty shades obviously the first sort of the second christian s not a good man but he is driven by his obsession for ana which seems to have no real explanation in the text ana hadn t ever had an orgasm before christian and he certainly is able to provide her with everything she could ever want including orgasms so yeah on a realistic level fifty shades of grey is a horrible book featuring an abusive relationship between a stalking psychopath and his passive victim but from a ravishment fantasy perspective the story appears to be fairly satisfying bad bdsm versus meta bdsm another common complaint about the book is that the bdsm is terrible which is to my limited knowledge of the practice absolutely true many bdsm practitioners are justifiably upset with the book because of the damaging and dangerous way that the books portray their lifestyle if you are interested writer jennifer armintrout abigail barnette has utterly demolished the books portrayal of bdsm at her jealous hater book club and peter tupper of http historyofbdsm com also posted his own reviews from a bdsm perspective it seems like the vast majority of bdsm practitioners who talk about these books condemn christian grey as a terrible dom the consent as being dubious at best and the negotiation is lip service he spends 3 4 of the first book trying to push this idiotic fucking contract down her throat ignoring her distracting her when she attempts to negotiate anything closer to her own liking she gives him some limits of her own i e anal sex and he blithely decides to ignore them i m certainly not going to say these practitioners are wrong to be mad this is completely offensive but i think some of the worry that this will inspire new people to try bdsm without any real understanding of consent or potential harm or that it will scare people away from bdsm by portraying it as abuse is a bit much the average reader of this book was never going to be a hardcore bdsm person she s a middle aged woman who wants a little spice in her life and maybe she can realize that despite what society tends to say it s perfectly fine to own a sex toy or two though on an interesting meta level there is a more consensual bdsm situation going on here not ana s and christian s of course that is just fuckery but one between e l james and the reader i m thinking about roleplay scenarios even non bdsm folk occasionally like to play with those i ll be han you be leia i ll be the naughty school girl you be the principal with a firm hand on his ruler i ll be the naive college student you be the millionaire who just can t resist her for no real reason that s basically what this is e l james has set up a scene for us we get to play ana through the first person story while e l james controls everything else to give us the experience we are or are not as the case may be looking for ana s relationship with christian may not be safe sane and consensual but the reader gets to indulge in this silly ravishment fantasy with the ultimate foolproof safeword in the fact that we can close the damn book mommy porn the one thing that fifty shades of grey and its sequels have done that is legitimately positive is that it has given a generation of women a somewhat more legitimized outlet for sexual fantasies for whatever reason this thing has taken off and people are actually talking about it a lot when female sexuality especially older female sexuality gets derided so often it s actually pretty refreshing of course this isn t going to stop people from derisively calling it mommy porn or whatever other term is cool right now that term if nothing else proves why we shouldn t belittle or ignore this effect women shouldn t be shamed for having sexual fantasies and the fact that fifty shades of grey seems to be inspiring a lot more criticism than hot tub time machine 2 or whatever the fuck that crap is really says something a conclusion of sorts again i am absolutely not saying that people shouldn t be criticizing these books there is a lot to criticize ana is one of the most genuinely unlikable characters that i ve ever seen christian s a psychopath the relationship is terrible the bdsm is awful the sex is overrated the series is rife with sexism racism and homophobia both overt and understated if you want to tear these books apart do it please and give me a link i love reading that but let s keep the whole thing in perspective it s a crappy book series it s not going to lead to an upswing in abusive relationships it s not going to ruin sex bdsm or popular literature in general it s not the end of feminist empowerment as we know it and per the tumblr post that inspired this yes absolutely give money to domestic violence shelters they really need the help but go see the movie if you want to even if you re just curious even if you want to mock the shit out of it you re a consenting adult do whatever the hell you want posted by kalinara 7 00 pm 3 comments sunday november 23 2014 random thoughts on television can i just say that i m loving all the awesome comic book type television shows that are on right now well not all of them i gave up on agents of shield because the only character i find remotely interesting is a villain and that s not really enough for me i m not a huge fan of villains without some kind of redemption arc i m okay with some anti heroes or morally grey characters but this character really isn t one so i m moving on to a show where i like the heroes i adore flash flash is goofy and cute and fun and features a main character who actually likes being a hero i ve seen some people compare it to smallville but really it reminds me more of lois and clark barry s got his costume and his name and it s very obvious what romantic pairing is going to be end game but it s such fun to see how it happens i m less enamored with arrow it s a well written show and i am amused by exactly how much of a douchebag oliver queen is in this or any really universe but it s not really i must watch for me gotham however is great i m leery on bat products i ll be honest with you they always seem just a tad repetitive the same could be said for superman products but superman has traits that appeal to me more i ve never claimed to be fair however a bat show starring commissioner gordon is great and in a weird way i find it more optimistic than most bat products yes gotham city is going to hell in a handbasket but there is someone who s trying to do what s right who will hold the moral line until bruce grows up and is ready to deal out some batarang therapy i m sure gordon won t escape without a little tarnish but as long as he gets to keep that inner core of jim gordon he should get to avoid the worst of the corruption if they do irredeemably corrupt jim gordon i will be really really upset also i m enjoying that i can leer at ben mckenzie without guilt i love flash and they re all very pretty but they look so young to me i just want to give them hugs and pack them lunches no leering damnit i haven t seen any constantine yet though is it any good posted by kalinara 12 03 pm 4 comments tuesday october 14 2014 oh right i have a blog though to be fair a two week hiatus is better than two years i have been spending far too much time playing video games than actually doing anything interesting sorry but i m back theoretically p posted by kalinara 1 12 am 1 comments about me name kalinara location binghamton new york united states view my complete profile read this please pfp comment policy revised 2023 helpful index type posts adventures of the galaxy rangers recap index earth final conflict review index links my twitter feed my tumblr page 4th letter a less than reputable source absorbascon again with the comics aiee run from kelvin s brainsplu...