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Text of the page (random words):
assembling self december 2009 skip to main skip to sidebar assembling self a piece from here a piece from there i pull the parts together where the facts i ve found and those still gone are segments searched and sought so long together joined and linked i find small questions answered in my mind assembling self and as i go not really half but never whole assembling self thursday december 3 2009 and in the beginning i began this blog and i chose this background for a reason i first saw blocks small squares building blocks pieces that are put together to create a large whole like pixels on a screen things people don t really notice or see or take for granted until they are partially missing or gone as a whole terms such as pieces parts blocks fragments are all symbolic of what is missing and absent from the foundation of my life that leaves me partial in so many ways and what i am endlessly doing assembling my adopted self as an adoptee this terminology has a depth of significance that goes beyond the grasp of john q public because as adoptees are told we are like everyone else but for me and so many others this is not the truth like eve that ate from the tree of life once you know the truth you can t go back in the pursuit of these truths i have fallen down and scraped my knees and elbows tripping over obstacles and pulled myself back up i have screamed in jubilation over the discovery of long sought facts and collapsed in defeat over rejection and blows to parts of my very soul i thought would die and risen up to go on i have spent hours and days over keyboards searching and seeking weeping over them in desperation shreiking above them in exhilaration pounding on them in sheer aggravation and yes spilling the occasional beer on them opened my big mouth far too often and fought for change and rights along with others that are on a similar journey but more importantly i faced what i once thought would kill me but have come to realize has only made me stronger and more determined to change the system that failed me and in this journey i found a book inside of me a chronology in poetry of my search and semi reunion story which i hope to share more of later i wrote and wrote and wrote until i couldn t write anymore my fingers at times couldn t fly as fast nor could my mind grasp the emotions that came pouring forth sometimes i didn t even think i just felt and purged and at the end of this catharsis i had a book assembling self it has a great ending i found myself and when i held this book in my hands i had so longed to complete i felt like forrest gump after running 3 years 2 months 14 days and 16 hours when he turned to his followers and stated i m pretty tired i think i ll go home now and so i did home to me my poems are parts of me some i like such as my graceful athletic body and ability to communicate with wit and intelligence some i don t like as in my gapped teeth and nose and some that are as vital to me as my beating heart and so i feel the need to write again unfortunately in my older age i not only have lost the ability to see hear and remember but the ability to spell which as a former teacher is quite perplexing i seem to have a huge problem with double consonants and yes i even had to look up occasionally but in this search and fight for truth you take the good with the bad and do the best you can with it and continue on to fight another day thanks for listening posted by assembling self at 10 18 am no comments newer posts home subscribe to posts atom lost daughters i write here too come visit us adoptee rights coalition join us in 2016 adopted my favorite writers neither here nor there never lose hope 9 years ago birth mother first mother forum mother s day for birth mothers is hard 1 year ago elaine s blog family preservation not adoption separaration i hate the word adoption 9 years ago landofgazillionadoptees com why is home décor essential 5 years ago laura dennis blog restored an author interview with deanna shrodes part 1 10 years ago marginal perspectives foxes and melencolia 7 years ago mothermade korea is my concubine 8 years ago musings of the lame the department of state s international adoption symposium 6 years ago one option means no choice 11 reasons i m here 6 years ago sea glass other fragments introducing becca 8 years ago the declassified adoptee dumping a social worker s cards on the table adoption cannot solve abortion 7 years ago adoptee rights blogger and poet karen brown belanger create your badge networkedblogs blog assembling self topics adoption adoptee poetry follow my blog followers blog archive 2020 1 february 1 2017 1 august 1 2016 1 november 1 2015 2 september 1 january 1 2014 5 december 1 may 1 february 1 january 2 2013 5 november 1 july 1 may 1 april 1 january 1 2012 20 december 1 november 7 august 2 july 1 may 2 april 1 march 2 february 1 january 3 2011 29 december 1 november 12 october 1 september 2 august 1 july 2 june 1 may 2 april 1 march 1 february 2 january 3 2010 43 december 4 november 13 october 5 september 3 august 1 july 1 june 3 may 4 april 3 march 1 february 2 january 3 2009 1 december 1 and in the beginning contributors assembling self unknown