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assembling self january 2015 skip to main skip to sidebar assembling self a piece from here a piece from there i pull the parts together where the facts i ve found and those still gone are segments searched and sought so long together joined and linked i find small questions answered in my mind assembling self and as i go not really half but never whole assembling self sunday january 11 2015 adoptees the truth and nothing but the truth erased an empty blackboard stands alone they erased who i was and gave me a new home lies are now placed where the truth used to be how could they take that away from me did they really believe i d never question what they gave me as a definition of the person i was supposed to become and never look back on where i came from where does one really draw the line of how much past you can leave behind they expect out of us what they could never do despite what they say i am searching wouldn t you the last articulately written adoptee article i read at the washington post has created more controversy with comments from nonadopted persons and than i have seen in awhile and of course it s the usual advice to adoptees in varying degrees of get over it be grateful you weren t aborted biological families suck too be glad you escaped get a life create your own path you need therapy are mentally ill and some really struck me as particularly hypocritical why well let me explain getting a life and creating our own paths is exactly what many adoptees are attempting to do every day when most adoptees search for biological family and speak out how being adopted affects them and their families we are expressing our emotions and desires to do something with our lives to bring peace closure and wholeness i see that as fairly normal healthy and mentally sound not to mention vitally important for many adoptees if not then why the genealogy fervor over the last few decades adoptees usually do not have the basic family history and genetic knowledge at birth and or access to it later as adults that others are privy to the informative genetic playing field we enter on to in life is not the same level course as nonadopted persons we are given handicaps disabilities and barriers the nonadopted world can t begin to imagine obviously it s a given for the majority of nonadopted persons that they know who their mother father sisters brothers grandparents and generations spreading back and forward are they have photos stories historical documents family heirlooms and all kinds of tangible evidence and facts about themselves through the people they come from what anyone does with that information is their right however it s not the same rights adoptees are given i am a 55 year old adult adoptee about to embark on my 5th court petition for access to my original birth certificate why would i keep continuing to pound my head against a brick wall you say and not move on because i can t and i won t and i hope my persistence will pay off eventually judges and social workers have to retire at some point not only for myself but for adoptees are there with me and will follow although i realize that at my age and with people dying taking knowledge about my adoption situation to their grave i can t allow myself to give up seeking searching and trying to find out where i came from i just can t believe although the evidence is overwhelmingly monumental that nonadopted persons think adoptee are lucky how anyone could not fathom not knowing who your mother and father are where your brothers and sisters are and waking up every day to look into a mirror at a virtual hereditary stranger if you as adoptee never feel the need to look back to know biological family or have the desire to explore in any capacity family history nothing wrong with that but adoptees who don t feel as i and others do for nonadopted persons labeling and judging adoptees to the industry of adoption and systems that continue to expect adoptees to accept less than other citizens stop we ve already conformed for far too long you want us to get over being adopted ummmm no although adoptees can learn to live with it and quite well and successfully how give every adult adoptee their obc honest answers to questions they ask if you have them and the support they need to put the pieces of their own personal life puzzle together into as cohesive a whole as is humanly possible level the playing field for adoptees by removing unnecessary obstacles legal restrictions and constraints in their quest to simply gather important and valuable truths about their lives abolish lies half truths and the falsification of documents in adoption then and only then do adoptees who want the truth s have a chance to grow into complete and authentic human beings i will still not be grateful because seriously who would be just to finally achieve the same legal status as the next person who never had to fight to get it but i will be equal with that i can then move on with my life and into whatever future i want to have until that time i live in limbo posted by assembling self at 11 35 am no comments labels adoptee poetry adoptee rights adoptee truth adoptees poetry newer posts older posts home subscribe to posts atom lost daughters i write here too come visit us adoptee rights coalition join us in 2016 adopted my favorite writers neither here nor there never lose hope 9 years ago birth mother first mother forum mother s day for birth mothers is hard 1 year ago elaine s blog family preservation not adoption separaration i hate the word adoption 9 years ago landofgazillionadoptees com why is home décor essential 5 years ago laura dennis blog restored an author interview with deanna shrodes part 1 10 years ago marginal perspectives foxes and melencolia 7 years ago mothermade korea is my concubine 8 years ago musings of the lame the department of state s international adoption symposium 6 years ago one option means no choice 11 reasons i m here 6 years ago sea glass other fragments introducing becca 8 years ago the declassified adoptee dumping a social worker s cards on the table adoption cannot solve abortion 7 years ago adoptee rights blogger and poet karen brown belanger create your badge networkedblogs blog assembling self topics adoption adoptee poetry follow my blog followers blog archive 2020 1 february 1 2017 1 august 1 2016 1 november 1 2015 2 september 1 january 1 adoptees the truth and nothing but the truth 2014 5 december 1 may 1 february 1 january 2 2013 5 november 1 july 1 may 1 april 1 january 1 2012 20 december 1 november 7 august 2 july 1 may 2 april 1 march 2 february 1 january 3 2011 29 december 1 november 12 october 1 september 2 august 1 july 2 june 1 may 2 april 1 march 1 february 2 january 3 2010 43 december 4 november 13 october 5 september 3 august 1 july 1 june 3 may 4 april 3 march 1 february 2 january 3 2009 1 december 1 contributors assembling self unknown