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burden on him feeling as if he wasn t the provider and pater familias but a burden or something we all know he had healing to do and was no burden at all but how do you tell someone that when all he can see is a comparison between working and not working all i know is how delighted i am when he shows up here wanting to chop wood talk eat bacon and you know be alive like really living alive one of the thoughts i had soon after being told he d never get out of bed was that i knew he d rather be dead than in the bed permanently his father was the same way i remember thinking that when the doctor told me he d never recover that he d rather be dead than in the bed a burden on the people he loved himself went a different path than 3 going to his heavenly reward 3 s business here isn t done and even though i still get anxious about him and sometimes when he struggles with his words or the weather is making his leg hurt i mourn for what he used to be but i also know that god saved his life for something and the fella occasionally reminds me that i am being ungrateful i suppose i am but he s going back to work he talks almost normally his skills as a mechanic and electrician are intact his reflexes are a little slow and he has to think about what he does instead of it coming smoothly and naturally but that will improve with time and practice my heart is full posted in uncategorized 1 comment philosophical posted on january 10 2019 by rootietoot 3 and grandpunkin spent the day here this happens once or twice a week they show up around 7 30 or 8am have breakfast with us and the day goes on having a grandpunkin in the house is fun all noise and dirt and matchbox cars and cheezits greasy crumb crusher is what the fella calls anyone under 4 feet tall grandpunkin fits that description perfectly earlier today and it was a cool day he decided shoes and pants were for losers and took his off the menfolk were in the garage putting new brakes on 1 s car and gp was wandering around i assumed being relatively supervised by the 3 men when i saw him trotting across the driveway shovel in hand and no pants to be seen i squawked and the fella informed me that we should all be as comfortable with ourselves to be able to wander around pantsless since gp is a chunky little thing well upholstered and unlikely to suffer i chose not to worry too much and he and i hunted for the missing clothes until they were located in the backyard next to the firepit i watched 3 a lot today not out of any sort of supervisory thing but just watching him thinking about what could have been but wasn t how 8 months ago he was in the icu and we didn t know if he would ever get out of it how broken his body was and today he was chopping wood and fixing cars and driving a utility cart around the property today he used a chainsaw and ate a hamburger and listened to music and laughed and complained and lived sometimes i am sad at the changes in his life the frustrations he has to endure his mental changes and his current inability to work but i step back and compare that to what might have been and my heart is full today my oldest son was promoted got a raise and spent time with his grandparents he has found purpose and some contentment today my second son called from his training program in birmingham showed off some serious tech he s been given for his new job and talked about his future he s found a reason to get up in the morning and something about which he can be enthusiastic today my fourth son called and is starting his 3rd semester of school on monday he is working and living with his uncle and aunt and has goals and a place to plant his beloved gerber daisies today i have the fella 4 sons who are doing well parents who live 200 yards away and i can help them out i know i m not special and god does whatever he wants to do and sometimes those things aren t what i want but right now at 7 06am on a normal thursday morning i m very blessed and i m grateful for that posted in uncategorized 1 comment i remember posted on january 9 2019 by rootietoot 3 was chopping wood in the backyard today it s something he loves to do and it s helping get his strength back anyway we had music going on the phone isn t technology amazing and grandpunkin was picking out songs aren t kids amazing 3 years old and he can pick out songs on his daddy s phone he played toto s africa and we started singing along with it here s the story behind that a while back several years and before he was married 3 and 1 shared a house they worked different shifts and because 3 was an assho i mean a jerk he would play africa on repeat and really loud when he came home from work and 1 was trying to sleep it became a joke after a while and 1 would do the same when 3 was trying to sleep skip ahead a few years to may 30 of 2018 when 3 was still unconscious in the hospital after his accident his brothers came to see him and when they walked in the room they started singing africa 3 s heart rate and brain activity he was on an eeg wires wires everywhere jumped and it was the first time we d seen any real response from him it was just a couple of days after his accident and we didn t know at that point if he was even still in there after that we knew he was there and it was just a matter of time even though the neurologists were telling us he wasn t posted in uncategorized leave a comment 2019 and all is well posted on january 8 2019 by rootietoot yes it s been a while so sue me i ve been busy doing what you ask what could possibly be more important than writing on the interwebs on a regular basis so i ll catch you up on stuff 3 is doing well physically he is healing up beautifully though he has been left with barometric joints yep now he feels the weather like old people and he s only 27 he s also not been cleared to work though he has been cleared to drive which is a relief for the fine wife the inability to work is very frustrating for him but he still lacks the stamina to hold a regular job and certainly can t do something as physically taxing as his previous one hopefully he ll be cleared to work sometime soon and can find something anything really that will make use of his still intact mechanical skills the good news is that he s alive and his brain is improving every day work continues on the new house a shop is slowly going in but the rain rain rain and more rain has prevented the installation of the second shipping container and subsequent shop construction it s winter it s what winter does also mud the yard looks like a flamin pig wallow right now what with multiple 4 4 trucks and s 1 and 2 parking here yes due to 3 s situation they wanted to be close to family so have moved here they ve both found gainful work and are living here whilst saving paychecks to be able to rent some place nearby and i after a hair over 30 years and a recent college graduation am seeking gainful employment i have discovered that an associate s degree magna cum laude y all in business management was a wise decision as was listing my resume online with indeed people are contacting me and that is kind of flattering tomorrow jan 8 2019 is my first interview and while i don t really intend to work for them because they re 30 minutes away and i want to work part time so i can help my parents and grandpunkin the interview is a great trial run and a chance to test the interview chops you know writing a resume was an interesting exercise i really had no idea of what all i d done in the last 35 years until it was written down there s a lot mostly unpaid volunteer work but hey it counts one of the instructors at the college i attended actually told me to please use him as a referrence which was also sort of encouraging there are a lot of things i d done that i didn t really think amounted to much until written down like an ability to navigate lexisnexis and other research stuff i actually love doing research and i m darn good at it anyone want to hire me i also make a great pot of coffee one of the local places that s hiring actually has that on their requirements you have to be able to make coffee i guess that s how they get around the politically incorrect request for a secretary and administrative assistants are too highly trained to do something as pedestrian as make coffee heck if it makes the office run more smoothly and the boss is happy and can do his job i ll make coffee all day long and maybe even bring cookies once in a while i ain t too proud for that magna cum laude or not i ll make the coffee really and truly all i want is an office job and get paid to be organized i love forms and filing and answering phones and making people s lives run smoothly i don t want to be the boss or the ceo or the next woman to break the glass ceiling i just don t care about that if i can make someone else s work day run smoother and come home knowing i d done a good thing for someone else that s enough for me when i was in school i took classes with the idea of perhaps working for a non profit in some sort of administrative way non profits don t pay a whole lot but i don t need a whole lot the idea of working in some way that would help others is appealing not in a young save the world sort of way but in a what can i do to help way as a young person i was too selfish to be interested in saving the world but now i m ready to do my part for someone i can t save the world but if i can make one person s life better then i m good with that the interview i have tomorrow isn t with a non profit but it is a chance to put on my navy blue suit and business like watch and see if someone would be interested in the likes of me 53 grey hair and glasses efficient and a stellar maker of coffee it s a practice run and a chance to get over the inevitable nerves that come with knowing one is being judged for one s history and vocabulary and maybe typing skills which i can modestly say are prodigious back in the day when i took typing as a senior in high school i was accused of cheating on the speed test because there was no way someone of 17 tender years could possibly blow out 90 words per minute and yet i couldn t figure out how one cheated on a typing test that was dictated and it was a manual typewriter too because i wasn t apparently worthy of an electric one so yes 90 wpm on a 1950 s era royal manual typewriter 8 years of piano lessons didn t hurt i knew where my fingers where and what they did so yeah i am one of those old school secretary types with the readers on a chain and wearing a twin set and totally unfazed by anyone and i make excellent coffee posted in uncategorized 2 comments i used to be organized posted on october 28 2018 by rootietoot a long time ago i was very very organized i was one of those people who started on christmas stuff in june then when it became apparent that this was borderline ocd i waited until right after october 31 did you know there s a move to change the date of halloween to some other time in october but i digress to begin gathering all the stuff needed like nuts and spices and yards of fabric and consulting the list of ideas that began in february then that date slid from november 1 to december 1 and after himself passed away it all became something of an afterthought or that 9pm semi panic on december 20 that resulted in a flurry of amazon gift certificates thank goodness for cookies too because most people like them and fresher is better and you can double those batches with little ill effect now there s a grandpunkin involved and i m back into wanting to make some things more involved than flour butter and chocolate chips when the boys were little i loved making big squishy stuffed animals of the sort that could be used to lean on while watching the ubiquitous thomas the tank engine videos that allowed me the opportunity to take a much needed shower grandpunkin isn t the sort to be charmed by a curly haired purple hippopotamus the size of a la z boy recliner s true i made one of those no idea what happened to that silly thing probably it s still in the attic of a small house in south alabama unless someone found it he s more of a dinosaur shark other toothy carnivorous animal type he tends to be very proud of whatever shark dinosaur john deer monster truck shirt he s wearing so i m pondering how to incorporate those concepts into one beast research at the local fabric store happens whenever possible and the discontinued pattern for a large child sized stuffed shark was located on etsy how john deere and velociraptors will meld into a shark is undetermined but i ve done it before albeit 25 years ago and shall do it again everyone else will get cookies and coffee really good coffee coffee roasting friends of mine with best coffee ever buy it you won t be sorry posted in uncategorized 1 comment update on 3 posted on october 5 2018 by rootietoot i realized it s been a while since i ve updated on how he s doing in short he s doing amazingly well his healing is nothing short of miraculous over and over again he knows this and credits god with it and has told his doctors so one of his injuries was a complete break of his left femur at the head there s a lot of nerves and blood vessels there and the surgeon was sceptical about it healing properly even went to far as to say she expected the head part to die off and he d need a hip replacement we prayed for it to heal so he wouldn t need that extra surgery and it did his hip was completely healed praise god from whom all blessings flow i am the lord the god of all mankind is anything too hard for me jeremiah 32 27 when he visited the doctors in birmingham 2 weeks ago he walked walked into the hospital and offices completely unassisted no cane no walker no help maybe a bit of a limp that s all my little turnip the one who wasn t expected to be able to do anything more than look at us maybe oh i know the doctors have to give you the worst case scenario it s called cover your ass because no one has ever sued a doctor for malpractice because the recovery exceeded expectations i know they couldn t say he ll most likely be just fine but honestly they truly didn t expect it when they move a person from the neuro icu with comments like we can t help him anymore and we need the bed it s not because they think he s fine truly i am not gloating i hope it doesn t sound like i am there were 2 other young men in that neuro icu who were hurt in accidents the same day as 3 one of them died the other was not expected to ever recover in any sort of way why 3 and not one of them i don t know i hurt for those families that lost their sons there were other families with sons and fathers and loved ones in that icu who were hanging on desperately to hope some of them got their wishes and some didn t those are questions i can t answer cognitively he is recovering in fits and starts his memories are coming back in bits and pieces and we are trying to help that along by always talking to him abo...