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way good afternoon boomed the doctor he held up a bottle of wine half empty or maybe it s half full he roared you ve been examining my arch enemy i see just having a look mumbled derek it s quite a display that s not actually a person in there is it he felt stupid asking the question even as it had formed on his lips no said the doctor in a serious tone that s a pain in the arse job being a cyberman the head is screwed on and you can hardly see out of it and you sweat like a pig they ll have put a dummy in there for the time being he walked around the deserted equipment fiddling with the cameras wonder how these work after tweaking a few knobs he gave up what do you think the doctor gestured with a sweeping arm wonderful isn t it it s great they ve really captured what i was thinking about said derek i m really pleased you like the script i loved it boomed the doctor as he plonked himself down on a faux stone block it s what the children want to be thrilled and scared they love a bit of horror or at least i did when i was a lad he swigged from the wine bottle but some people are on their high horse mary bloody whitehouse for a start even robert holmes reckons that young ones shouldn t watch it but he s wrong because i speak to kids all the bloody time what derek couldn t get a word in edgeways it won t last forever the doctor sighed i tell myself i might as well make the most of it most of the time i think i am the fucking doctor he laughed except bloody jelly babies i can t stand them i carry this scarf around all the time just in case there are kids around he flicked the end of the scarf at derek the clothes weren t too dissimilar from his on screen wardrobe shabby and subdued browns all he needed was the hat the doctor took a swig of wine they re always trying to change the show but they don t understand the doctor the way the kids do the number of times i ve had to put my foot down it s unreal he looked derek straight in the eye with a piercing glare i wrote liz sladen s departure do you know that he shrugged i suppose not it hasn t been aired yet but that s why sarah jane was written out of your script after another mouthful of wine he sighed they ll write me out as well eventually and it ll be younger fresher hipper more appealing or so they ll tell themselves derek looked at his watch err i think they might be locking up soon he grinned fancy a pint though it s great talking to you okay the doctor staggered up from his seat lead on my faithful assistant he lingered by the camera in fact let s get a shot of you beside the cyberman just for posterity now where can i put this he waggled the half empty wine bottle aha the doctor placed it on the mummy case none too gently should you be doing that derek was nervous that s an ancient artefact as long as it isn t cursed the doctor laughed echoing throughout the chamber the grand illustrious high priestess of the khazi how about that for a fart efact he thumped the bottle down again spilling a little wine it looked like blood in the dim light he shambled over to the camera lights camera after some fumbling and fiddling it whirred into life come on let s get a shot of you beside the cyberman something crunched under his foot oh fuck i think i ve killed a cybermat scarab thing i wish it was that easy on the show derek posed uneasily beside the centre sarcophagus are you sure you should be doing that with the camera shut up i m the fucking doctor he aimed the camera at derek they can wipe the tape anyway and reuse it the bastards have done that to most of pat troughton s episodes just open the mummy case and put your arm around it for posterity derek opened the flimsy lid of the fake sarcophagus cyber skin glinted from the gloom and the overhead light made skull like hollows of the blank eyes above the expressionless slit mouth take that gold mask thing off the cyberman put it beside that other gold thing the doctor waved towards a plinth with a bust of a large chinned face that s osiris i remember him from the pyramids of mars a very nice chap indeed derek did as he was told then the light bulb flickered and dimmed and the cyberman lurched into life what the fuck derek screamed as the cyberman lurched towards him gloved hands outstretched to seize his throat this is a joke isn t it for once the doctor was silent derek jerked backwards and the silver glove closed on his arm with a vicelike grip it wasn t a joke only the sweat on his forearm allowed him to wriggle greasily free something scuttled over his foot a cyber scarab searing needles bit into his ankle and he screamed that brought the doctor to his senses a cyberman he boomed quick catch this he tossed one end of the scarf towards derek who grabbed it light shimmered on the cyberman s bulky form as it loomed towards the two men hands poised to grasp and rend bone and flesh it stumbled forward as if uncertain of it s new mobility blank circular eyes and slit mouth emotionless in its sheet metal faceplate pull the doctor and derek pulled the scarf tight both men crouching on the ground tally ho the doctor leapt towards the cyberman dodging a swinging fist and derek followed him together they wrapped the scarf around the silvery legs three times in total it was too slow to catch them with its clumsy blows and collapsed forwards but the scarf was just wool and would not last for long what do we do now derek was shaking in terror as they retreated towards the doorway get out of here the doctor darted out into the corridor and ran for the stairs he grasped the door handle and twisted it in vain the bastards have locked up for the night derek wrenched the handle downwards as well but the door was solidly locked are there any other doors derek glanced nervously down the stairs it ll be free soon they ll all be locked the lift as well the doctor rummaged in his coat pocket but i ve got an idea what is it derek laughed shrilly a sonic screwdriver you need to get back in that room i ll lure it along the corridor but be quick or i ll be dead why get that statue of osiris gold will kill it but that s just made up for fuck s sake and so is that metal bastard downstairs the doctor s staring eyes locked with derek s own eyes just fucking do it at the bottom of the stairs a shadow fell across the corridor floor it was coming by the moons of gallifrey i wish i wasn t so pissed mumbled the doctor as they crept down the stairs you hide here and i ll distract it derek hid on the shadowed stairs as the doctor jumped out into the corridor fancy a jelly baby you bastard he yelled as he threw a handful of sweets at the cyberman then he ran away down the corridor pursued by the cyberman derek cowered against the whitewashed brickwork as the cyberman lumbered past he dashed out just behind it and sprinted for the chamber dodging the scurrying cyber scarabs he grabbed the bust of osiris it was heavy and the gold warmed quickly in his hand he rushed back into the corridor nearly too late the cyberman bore down upon the doctor at the other end of the corridor it grabbed his shoulders and squeezed i think i m going to puke gasped the doctor and he did wine tinged vomit spraying over the metallic faceplate the cyberman released him wiping the vomit from its face and the doctor scuttled between its legs quick he yelled ram that statue into its chestplate the blank metal face turned towards derek as the doctor ran past him derek thrust the bust of osiris forward against the grille on the cyberman s chestplate grimacing at the stench of vomit clinging to the metal faceplate the hard metal tore into the soft gold fragments falling into the holes of the grille the cyberman grabbed derek and threw him along the corridor he landed painfully beside the doctor quick muttered the doctor in here he grabbed derek and dragged him into the chamber where it had all began something s wrong here he murmured and i don t know what it is outside the cyberman lumbered along the corridor getting closer derek whimpered in terror what are we going to do the mummy it s the mummy cried the doctor its meant to be cursed sank the fucking titanic or something i remember now right give me a hand he darted across to the mummy case and grabbed one end let s get this onto the ground derek seized the other end and they lifted it roughly from its plinth onto the ground the doctor placed the heel of one boot onto the cracked face of the mummy board right you desiccated fucker he growled i don t know what we ve done but we re sorry he raised his foot but if you don t call off that cyber bastard then i m going to grind your bandaged bones into dust starting with your skull above them the light flickered outside the shadow loomed along the corridor then with a wheeze and a crash the cyberman collapsed to the ground come on yelled the doctor let s try the door again as they ran out the chamber the doctor grabbed his scarf miracle of miracles it s in one piece they climbed over the cyberman and ran up the stairs derek got to the handle first jerking it downwards this time the door opened at the bottom of the south stairs he crept up the stairs and looked round the corner they haven t locked up yet whispered derek but it must be close to closing time because there s no one around and it s dark outside let s get out of here the doctor pushed derek forward heads down they walked briskly towards the front door grateful that no one was around to observe them once outside they breathed in the cool night air walking leisurely towardsgreat russell street leaving the pillared plaza behind them i need a drink muttered the doctor they found a pub and the barman handed over two double scotches derek reached for one and the doctor grabbed it they re both for me you ve got a pint coming he emptied the first glass in one swallow grimacing at the bite of the alcohol the barman handed a pint to derek what do we do now the doctor bowed his head in thought nothing he said we saw nothing you left early and i was never there they ll think some pissed up students broke in and did it and they won t be happy with at least one damaged exhibit so they ll probably call the police shouldn t we tell someone not on your flaming life hissed the doctor they d probably shut down the show don t breathe a word of this to anyone ever he downed the second scotch and stood up leaving derek sitting at the bar alone with his pint and so the show went on but not for derek he was given his marching orders the next day the scapegoat for leaving the door open the museum staff decided not to call in the police much to the relief of the bbc mainly because they assessed the damage to artefacts as thankfully minor as for the doctor he finally fell from a radio telescope tower on 21 march 1981 his downfall witnessed by some six million viewers who declined in numbers with his each successors until the series was suspended in 1989 the doctor s decline was mirrored by derek s ascent minor scripting credits led to larger commissions until he landed the job of his dreams script editor of the new doctor who series which aired twenty four years after the doctors fall after an interval of sixteen years and during these years the tapes from the infamous cancelled cybermen episode lay gathering dust in an archive until someone found them east sussex 2011 tom was greatly amused by page five in the evening standard some footage had been released on the internet showing the apocryphal cancelled cybermen episode or at least something purporting to be that so that night he sat in his study staring at the computer screen as the video played there was no sound just grainy half light footage of someone opening what appeared to be a mummy case and what definitely looked like a 1970s cyberman stumbling out for much of the video there was little action from the point where the cyberman fell to the floor and staggered upright to the moment when a shadowy figure grabbed something and fled from the room later on it looked as if a mummy case was shifted to the ground by two people with someone standing on it until the people finally left one of them looked a bit like the doctor but unlike the distinctive cyberman only the shadow of his curly hair laying claim to this possible identity opinion was divided some reckoned it was genuine some shouted fake a few people recalled some forgotten scandal at thebritishmuseum tom laughed as he remembered the incident all those years ago then he flicked across to the bbc website doctor who script editor battered to death screamed the headline the article had little detail beyond the name derek adams and the fact he had been beaten to death by one or more assailants in hislondon flat there was the inevitable police appealed for witnesses or information downstairs something rattled is that you there was no answer maybe it was the wind then the lights flickered free story the fleshless posted september 7 2011 in stories 0 the department of forensic archaeology can be found in an ornate victorian brownstone building overlooking the tenements pubs and traffic of south edinburgh the space had been vacated by the pre medicine courses relocating to the new infirmary to the south of the city and then taken up enthusiastically by this new combination of forensic science archaeology and anatomy departments doctor porter surveyed his class with little enthusiasm a grey man approaching his sixties he felt little in common with the handful of students who took his anthropological anatomy classes even in their fourth year of study they still dressed outlandishly and the handful of prep dressed home counties types still intimidated him decades after his own studies today there were four in the class the remaining two students would probably furnish lacklustre excuses for their absence later in the week one was a greasy haired girl with a nose ring two were overgrown boys feet tapping to their own inner rhythms and the fourth was a quiet asian girl from the midlands he had some hope for the asian girl who was quiet and diligent the laboratory was deathly quiet except for the drip drip drip of water somewhere the tiled walls and concrete floor chilled the room beneath the vaulted ceiling even more than the autumnal season which seeped in through the high single glazed windows the two enamel examination tables were worn smooth from centuries of use less practical than the movable steel tables at the new medical faculty but the forensic archaeology department did not attract anywhere near the same level of funding an assistant wheeled a metal box into the room and lifted it up onto a table the specimen s here he mumbled as he left porter glared at his retreating back the specimen was supposed to be delivered before the class started porter slipped on a pair of latex gloves and lifted the lid he looked at the class today we will assemble a skeleton from fragmented remains and we will arrive at some conclusions about the life and death ...