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Text of the page (random words):
anged to fly out to la for a week to provide some comfort and a diversion during a recent phone conversation my dad asked if there were any touristy things i might want to do while i m there hmmm maybe a tour of the movie studio what about cruising out to see the whales then it hit me with an excitement only compared to a sale on knitpick s needles crazy aunt purl lives in los angeles i could hunt down visit crazy aunt purl purl s name is actually laurie and she s not really my aunt but i d claim her over many of my relations and she s not really crazy she s my imaginary bestest friend i drink wine vicariously through her when my husband fixes things i silently thank dimitri when i fly to california i m packing five days worth of clothes in a carry on bag in her honor i hope to read her latest book on the plane i love crazy aunt purl so how will i find her clues my curious friend i believe in my heart that she knows i m her soul best friend and she has left clues so that we can find each other after extensively reading her blog www crazyauntpurl com i have put together a list of bread crumbs she has left just for me she shops at the burbank ikea store all i need to do is sit in the doorway of the ikea store and look for someone who is drunk devoid of a wedding ring and covered in cat hair she works at a bank how many bank employees can there be that wear dkny cozy wraps she lives in the valley in a building full of russian men named dimitri i will stand outside of all the apartment buildings yelling for dimitri until i find it i wonder if my bull horn will get through airport security she drives a jeep that has the roof held on by duct tape how hard can that be to spot in la she talks about spring and flower street a lot if i dangle alpaca and a bottle of wine i just know she ll come running to my corner that or i ll get arrested for being a kinky prostitute so there you have it but what will i do when i find her i will hug her and squeeze her and pet her and call her george well maybe we ll just find a glass of wine somewhere she ll autograph my book we ll talk about me since i know all about her she ll introduce me to all of her friends that i ll be replacing and we ll get those little photos taken in one of those booths disclaimer dear laurie you have nothing to fear i will have passed through airport security three times by the time i reach la i am a licensed teacher and professor and have regular police background checks as a condition of my employment i knit therefore i m harmless really www braindebris wordpress com tags breast cancer crazy aunt purl friend knitting la posted in uncategorized 2 comments come knit mittens pa thrum thrum thrum thrum december 24 2009 i ve learned a few things about my knitting self i m a yarn snob an extremely soft and washable acrylic can tempt me to stray but for the most part i m a natural fiber girl my favorite so far is alpaca but if anyone would like to send me samples of other horrendously expensive yarns i d be happy to reconsider i can find an excuse to own every piece of knitting paraphernalia on the globe i need a multitude of bags totes and baskets to meet every portable project need i need a plethora of needles in a variety of sizes i need straight and circular wood plastic and metal i need more than one set in each size just in case i decide to knit two of the same thing at the same time i need them and for my non knitting loved ones yes little wooden sticks make great gifts i am highly susceptible to knitting project spores you know those things that are carried on the fly away strands of knitting projects being knit too close to you if someone is near me knitting something i haven t yet tried or something in a pretty color or something using a needle i do not yet own i will become obsessed i have no immunity this effect will only be made worse if the wool is expensive and the needles are hard to find my doctor tells me that knitting is not contagious the man wears store bought socks need i say more this brings me to thrummed mittens at the december meeting of my knitting group the fact that they meet at the chocolate cafe has nothing at all to do with my attendance one of the ladies was knitting an adorable pair of pink thrummed mittens i watched in fascination as she pulled little wisps of roving carded wool fibers out a bag and knitted them into the stitches from the outside the roving looked like little hearts but like an iceberg most of the roving was dangling inside the mitten like a cloud of warm snuggliness yes that s a word with my mint chocolate drink in hand i left the meeting and realized i had been infected with a massive dose of spores must have been the roving fibers first her project took size 6 double points she was using bamboo i didn t have size 6 double point bamboo needles to make thrummed mittens you needed roving i didn t have roving i d never tried making mittens before no heels to turn can t be too hard i needed to knit thrummed mittens so the hunt for a cure began i needed new needles and a pattern and darn i d have to buy more wool and some roving and since i ve never knitted a pair of thrummed mittens i might make the little heart shaped thrums too big and run out so i d better get extra roving i finally found a supplier i really liked for the roving and the wool http www camillavalleyfarm com knit thrums htm they started buying wool from russia in the hopes that establishing trade would help lessen the threat of a nuclear war interesting idea but then they are knitters knitters are endless optimists just ask anyone who has cast on a sweater christmas eve for a gift exchange the following day since my mitten obsession was also going to facilitate world peace i decided i had to have three kits after all i bet my mom would love a pair of thrummed mittens and then there s my niece to be she d probably like a set of thrummed mittens because she s hoping to live in new york soon and her favorite color is orange and i ve never knit with orange wool before and of course i need a pair for myself because my fingers love warm snuggliness hyperventilating here it s the spores four double point needles three thrummed kits two hands that need mittens and one more reason to knit sorry i tend to break out in song on christmas eve with my mitten kits on the way all the way from canada even i went in search of needles of course i do believe i forgot to mention to my husband that i was driving around in a slick snowstorm in between my day job and my night job looking for these needles but don t ask don t tell after striking out at two hobby stores i finally found what i needed at the quilting store since they seem to be scarce i bought two sets after all i might decide to knit mittens two at a time now i will declare publicly that i did not buy a new knitting bag or basket couldn t find one with kits finally in hand and my little wood needles jumping up and down with excitement i cast on my first pair of mittens i decided to knit the orange ones first because i found adorable orange clips that my quirky niece to be would love to dangle from her mittens without further ado thrum roll please meet my mittens good thing i bought that extra bag of roving here s a picture with the thumb hole showing i ll let you know if a hand actually fits in there when i m finished http www braindebris wordpress com tags knitting roving thrummed mittens posted in adventures in knitting 1 comment my excuse note december 12 2009 dear stalkers and my four fans i know you have been frantically refreshing your computer screens in the hopes that a post from me would magically appear don t despair i have several good ones waiting in the wings on such topics as good genies come to those who wait how many pairs of mittens can a human knit in two weeks replacing your husband can double your loot i plan to tippy type my little fingers off for all of you just as soon as i finish decorating the house bake cookies knit 3 more pairs of mittens get my crashed computer fixed grade college finals design a whole college course and syllabus grade my day job papers spend a few days out of town with friends and re edit my mom s novel sorry lost what i had when computer crashed but i ll meet my january deadline www braindebris wordpress com posted in uncategorized 5 comments does anybody really know what year it is december 1 2009 today my students embarked on a journey through negative numbers we discussed how number lines are infinite and how they can be represented horizontally or vertically at one point a student mentioned that a vertical number line looks like a thermometer and a horizontal number line looks like a time line there are just moments as a teacher when you get all verklempt sorry i don t have a yiddish dictionary his timeline comment led us off the beaten path which is actually more beaten than the beaten path in my classroom but then i digress from my digression i taught social studies for two years before moving solely to math and science so i have a little bit of timeline trivia stored in my noggen that i squish out on special occasions seeing a few eyes glassing over in the back of the room i decided it would be a good time to enlighten the little darlings on the arbitrary nature of time i began by asking what determines a day and was delighted with the rotation of the earth verklempt moment 2 then i asked what determines a year and was dazzled with the revolution of the earth around the sun verklempt moment 3 it was a good day then i asked how many times since the earth was formed has it revolved around the sun hmmmm little trickier some said we don t know since there weren t people counting back then ok so i asked how we know what the year really is if no one was there to start counting from the beginning if you ever want to mess with gifted kid s heads pose deep questions it took awhile but someone finally hit on the fact that our timeline doesn t start at one it has a zero and we count backwards because we don t know how many years there are before the zero so i asked if we really had a year zero what does zero mean more puzzled looks but every student in that room was hooked at that point we decided there couldn t have been a year zero so the timeline is not exactly the same as our number line then i asked who decided when year 1 should start a few students were certain that jesus decided i m sure my jewish students were thrilled at this revelation to move things along a little i told them that a monk actually made decisions about our timeline when he was trying to determine an accurate date for easter seems my christian students weren t that far off the monk used historical references and counted backwards a few hundred years and settled on the timeline we now use the only problem is he didn t take into account the biblical story of king herod according to authentic documents texts artifacts and carvings king herod died around 5 or 6 b c e which poses a teensy problem since he was the king that ordered the execution of male babies in an attempt to off the baby jesus the two of them had to be alive at the same time which means christ was actually born 5 6 years before the birth of christ cool huh that led to a few side discussions about how their moms take a few years off of their ages too i m sure the moms will be thrilled to know their kids are discussing their ages in school then one kiddo shouts wait what does that do to the mayan calendar at that point i was completely forgotten as groups of kids frantically tried to decide if we ve already passed up the year 2012 and what year it really is the general consensus was that it s really the year 2014 sorry all of you alarmists you missed it i hope you kept the receipts for those gas masks to close things up a bit i mentioned that the same kind of panic happened at the turn of the century the y2k terror i couldn t even buy a stinking can of sterno to fondue on new year s eve because the loonies bought it all to heat their homes when the power grid crashed since these kids were 3 years old at the time i had a little explaining to do i asked what numbers represented the first 100 years and they agreed that since there was no zero it had to be 1 to 100 we labeled that on the board as the first century we agreed that the next century would be 101 to 200 so the turn of the century is actually when the year changes from the 000 to the 001 hmmmm all the sudden it occurred to them that celebrating the turn of the century in 1999 was a year premature get the students engaged and you can get them to explore anything i doubt many other math teachers had to tell the students it was time to stop talking about number lines and get back to work so i spent 1 2 hour of math class pondering the nature of time even if i m not remembering my history perfectly i ll bet my students will remember features of a horizontal number line http www braindebris wordpress com tags history math number line timeline posted in the wonderful world of education 4 comments how i spent my sunday after thanksgiving november 29 2009 i embarked on my sunday by rolling out of bed at around 10am the official time that sane people wake up after all there are very few things worth doing that can t be done in bed unfortunately unless you re under 3 using the restroom isn t one of them which is why 11am isn t the official time that sane people wake up bladders can only wait so long i made myself a cup of coffee in the keurig it s really our camping trailer coffee maker but we brought it in for the winter good thing too because my husband just killed our fourth coffee maker trying to de lime it yes that was a 4 did i mention he de limes coffee makers for a living it seems commercial grade acid and clr eat the insides of residential coffee makers he s no longer allowed to de lime my appliances i can t afford his hourly rate anyway sitting in my glider rocker yes our life has been reduced to that of my grandparents my husband has a lazy boy and i have a glider rocker he watches tv while i knit we have no social life i sipped my coffee until i looked down and realized i was sitting on my boobs why is it pajama manufacturers haven t realized that women who have long since given up on sexy lingerie and wear flannel pajamas are also at the stage in life where they have gravity issues they could put a support panel in there at the very least they could put some kind of waistband elastic guard so you don t snap your tatas when you pull your pants up begrudgingly admitting that i wasn t going back to bed i pried myself out of my chair gathered up my boobs and headed off to get dressed for my third accomplishment of the day i count getting out of bed and getting dressed as 1 and 2 i attempted to make memorial day weekend camping reservations because i was one day out of the six month reservation window i was forced to add a day on to our camping weekend such a hardship i go...