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se tactics work on low value sales so it s a kind of pressure closing techniques wouldn t work for high value sales because those are based on relationship and that s what the rest of the book talks about but as a parent i think most negotiations are low value type so these should work well i ll illustrate how i used some of these tactics 1 assumptive closes when my boy doesn t want to go to school i took his snack box and milk packet to show it to him i told him that he can eat this in school later in the afternoon this assumes that he has agreed to go to school which he hasn t 2 alternative closes when my boy doesn t want to brush his teeth i ll ask if he wants to brush his teeth here or there both options are perfectly acceptable to me but giving him a choice will allow him to commit to it he doesn t know that there is another choice which is not to brush fingers crossed if that happens 3 standing room only closes when my boy eats too slowly or is distracted by other things when eating i ll create some competition by trying to steal a bite that usually creates a sudden urge to eat faster because the food is not only for him there s another person waiting to eat it that s me i know it s evil stealing food from young children but hey it works this can be manipulative i understand there is a blurred line between manipulation and motivation i do that to my students when i teach them too basically the role of a tutor is also to persuade them to do something that they dislike if i can t make them do that nothing much can be changed i see manipulation as changing the behaviour of others in order to gain from it while motivation is changing the behaviour of others so that they themselves will gain from it the difference lies in the intention behind the push for behavioural change and who benefits from this change it might not be so evil when you know that children also employs such tactics to manipulate parents into doing things that they want read more thursday march 18 2021 richness far beyond that of silver and gold thursday march 18 2021 parenthood self realisation 290 comments during cny i went to my mum in law home for dinner my son was offered 3 ice cream cones of which he was to choose 1 for himself alone but he quickly grabbed all three and passed one to my wife one for me and one for himself i wasn t really interested in the ice cream so i wanted to pass it to another person but my son took it back and pressed it in my hands it s quite sweet actually that he thought of his family first it s not the first instance when he did that there was a time when we went up to take an mrt ride somewhere and there were only 2 seats left usually i ll just stand so i told my wife and son to just sit at the two empty seats they did but when my son realised that i wasn t seated he rushed out to grab my hands and pull me towards the seats this is an indication that i should sit down together then he proceeded to squeeze his big butt in between the two of us lol is my son selfish can t really say so because usually selfish is reserved for people who think for themselves alone but is caring only for your immediate family considered selfish behaviour i will say that it is but it is less selfish than those who cared for themselves only obviously it s just that i think the sense of self should be defined a little broader what if we treat self to be inclusive of the weak and the defenceless what if we include all other humans other species the world at large some religious texts will say that the self is a self construct and an illusion everything is really just one i know that is an ideal case but it s really a good goal to aim for if he can include his selfishness within his tribe and we work to enlarge the size of the tribe to include more and more sentient beings he will be more compassionate and empathetic that is a far fetched goal but nevertheless a good value to inculcate to the next generation as parents i think it s our sacred responsibility to bring up kids that will make the world equal or better after they leave rather than worse i understand that as a single child my son might inherit some characteristics associated with that status like selfishness self centred entitled etc i m quite determined not to make that happen if my son grows up well and becomes a positive contribution to the world that will be a richness far richer than that of gold and silver live long and prosper read more monday march 15 2021 having a gentle mid life crisis monday march 15 2021 self realisation 16 comments i am at this middle age where i see others doing better than me their careers are progressing well getting more recognition and pay then there are others who are making more money and are deemed more successful than i am their kids are smarter than mine their cars are flashier their watches have more diamonds than there are numbers if i keep on thinking along these lines i m quite sure i ll get a mid life crisis but here s the thing that s the cue for me to take a step back and re evaluate my life so far the young should and must take over the old otherwise society becomes stagnated and takes a backstep and everyone suffers it s a natural progression for the next generation to step up and eventually take over the previous one but am i ready for this change cognitively this is rational and logical but i m more than just rationality i think i have it easier because i don t have colleagues i work alone and that shields me from a lot of pressure from comparing with others there s no water cooler gossip about whose kids did better in national exams no rumours about who got a bigger bonus my blog saved me too it allows me to network with many people from different slices of society some older than i am some younger this gives me perspective and also comfort i think it s good to know friends younger than me so that i can guide them along with life s milestones and share my experiences mentor them and guide them so that we can also share their successes vicariously friends who are older than me provide me with the reassurance that things will turn out fine and will help me when i face one of life s obstacles if i am with my peers only i ll have a much narrower perspective of life and that can only be bad i think it s important to see beyond the material world and find meaning i mean i m middle aged and have reached the halfway mark of my life and what have we got to show people at this age will start to think back and see if they still want to continue wasting the second half of their life doing something that they dislike if not the sudden realisation that time is not on their side might force them to do a career switch become deeply religious or spend more time with their family and loved ones these are observations that i ve made for me i don t have a full blown mid life crisis it s just a gentle realization that the stream of my life is no longer in the white water region all fast and furious aggressive and relentless the time for that has passed and my life stream is now gently meandering around river banks it is calm and peaceful and that s how i hope to see my middle age defined as live long and prosper read more tuesday march 09 2021 astrea vi bonds buy or bye tuesday march 09 2021 3 comments there is a new bond offering for astrea vi bonds the sponsors of the bond come from astrea capital vi pte ltd an indirectly wholly owned subsidiary of azalea asset management pte ltd which in turn is wholly owned by temasek holdings that name should not immediately give you assurance of the safety of this bond and is not in any way guaranteed by temasek or azalea so please be aware of that bond details 1 maturity date 18th mar 2031 2 scheduled call date 18th mar 2026 3 expected raintg a sf a sf 4 interest rate 3 00 pa payable semi annually on 18th mar and 18th sep each year 5 special features a if the bonds are not redeemed back in full on their scheduled call date i e 18th mar 2031 which is five years from now there will be a one time 1 0 pa step up in the interest rate i e to 4 0 pa b a bonus redemption premium not exceeding 0 5 of the principal amount of the bonds is payable upon redemption if the performance threshold is met on or before the scheduled call date 6 the bonds will be listed on the mainboard of sgx on 19th mar 2021 9am so you don t have to wait till maturity if you need to liquidate your holdings however you have to sell at whatever price it is transacting on at that point in time which depends on supply and demand the bond will mature 10 years from now in 2031 at par value if it is not redeemed at the scheduled call date 5 yrs later in 2026 7 the conditions to redeem back all the bonds on the scheduled call date is as follows a the cash set aside is sufficient to redeem all the bonds fully b there are no outstanding credit facility loans once all the conditions are met the bonds must be redeemed at the scheduled call date failing which there will be a step up in the interest of 1 0 pa as stated above in point 5a 8 min amount to apply is s 2k and thereafter in multiples of s 1k with an admin fee of 2 that is paid upon application you can apply through atm dbs posb ocbc uob or internet banking websites or mobile apps can t do it from ocbc mobile app closing date and time 16th mar 2021 12 00 noon 9 i m not the best at explaining the cash flow and priority of payments for the investments here s a nice pictogram taken from the prospectus that i cut and paste here for your perusal click to enlarge taken from the prospectus 10 the nitty gritty details can be found in the prospectus here my take 1 the last publicly listed bond from astrea is back in 2019 that s for the astrea v private equity class a 1 bond i wrote about astrea iv bonds here and eventually subscribed to it and it s doing pretty okay even during the mar flash crash where it plunged to the near par value of 1 it had recovered with the rest of the stocks in sgx 2 back then in 2018 the bond has an interest rate of 4 35 with the possibility of stepping up to 5 35 if not redeemed 5 yrs later in 2023 i know it s different times now but 3 seems to be a little hard to part with my money especially if there is a real risk of losing your capital is it enough to risk your capital for 3 pa you have to answer that yourself 3 this is not a fixed deposit and must not be treated as such yes it s a higher interest than a fixed deposit but the capital is definitely not guaranteed do not associate the safety of this bond with the name temasek holdings 4 i m 70 sure that i m not going to apply for this i thought of getting some for my parent s retirement portfolio but nah better not risk it especially for 3 i m still holding on to the astrea iv bonds though and will likely hold until they recalled it back in 2023 the 30 why i am thinking of buying this is to replace the astrea iv bonds that i m very sure will be recalled back in another 2 years time i e 2023 i m currently using this as another place to park my emergency cash i m just afraid when the time comes to tap on it the value might drop way below my principal like during the mar flash crash of 2020 5 based on a quick behind the envelope calculation the already publicly traded astrea iv 4 35 bond is traded at 1 056 at last close so it s giving a current yield of about 4 1 pa which is higher than the newly issued astrea vi bonds at 3 pa but don t forget that the astrea iv bond is now trading at 1 056 which is above par value so when it s redeemed back at par value of 1 00 you ll lose 0 056 too capturing all these details the yield to maturity of the astrea iv bond is at about 1 5 pa but we haven t included the bonus 0 5 of bond principal upon redemption at the scheduled call date included that bonus we have a yield to maturity of 1 76 pa still lower than 3 pa of the newly issued bond this means it s still better to apply for the astrea vi 3 0 bond at par value all of the above information could have errors i try not to do it but it might still happen please do your own due diligence and i do not take responsibility if you act on the above information in any way not say you win money you ll donate some to me right so if you lose money don t blame me update i made a mistake and mentioned that the last time astrea issued a bond was back in 2018 i was wrong it s supposed to be in 2019 for the astrea v bonds i ve already made adjustments to the post read more monday march 08 2021 my naive views on financial independence monday march 08 2021 self realisation 20 comments last time i was quite naive probably still am but hopefully less so lol i thought that after reaching financial freedom i can relax no need to work shake legs and spend my passive income and i ll be happy i calculated my expenses to be 2 5k per month that s before i have a lot more adult responsibilities like the current me which works out to be 30k per year assuming 5 returns per year i just need to get 600k capital and i m settled and that number just gets anchored in my mind for the longest time i am naive because 1 on paper having 600k 5 per year can settle my monthly expenses but it just makes my life easier i still have to work because there s no buffer i can t sleep well with 100 invested in the market as well in practice i need more than 600k probably 30 cash buffer will be very nice which means a total of 1 mil is a more realistic figure to aim at 2 2 5k is really just good enough for me at that point in time i m at a different life stage now with more commitments so 2 5k is just not enough i didn t account for future life plans back then or rather i didn t know what changes it will make to my expenses to account properly for it 3 5 returns per year this is based on average returns i am below average because i m not wizardry material i know now but i didn t know back then i thought i can be warren buffett but i am just 我人不肥 i know myself better now and have a more grounded expectation based on data rather than hopes 4 thinking i don t have to work after financial freedom is really naive on paper everything is fine but i did not have a more holistic view of financial freedom in the past it s all just about money but progressively i think financial freedom is more about philosophy ultimately it aims to resolve the question of what we are going to do with our lives here it is more about meaning instead of materialistic pursuits if we don t have a meaningful outlet to pour our life s best work in we ll never end up free regardless of whether materially we are financially free or not hence i adapted this fi financial independence koan on the outside nothing has changed after fi we still do the same things as before but on the inside everything has changed our mindset and attitude are not the same and we will approach the same task with more purpose and meaning don t expect life after fi to change drastically on the outside it s all happening on the inside where no man can...