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of and look forward to after getting pretty depressed while i went through some very serious health stuff that triggered him to have serious health stuff and b brush up on his skills especially for when given commands while off leash and some distance from his handler so we can finally do agility both of those objectives were fully met now i just need the weather to cooperate staff may 22 2022 ha that zebra was no match for me i tore off its leg ripped open the skin and flung zebra bits everywhere demerits to staff for not letting me eat the zebra skin i wanted to swallow it whole but she opened my mouth and stole it from me a mighty hunter such as myself deserves to consume his prey as he wishes savannah boss bixby riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip carnage galore may 23 2022 923 859 603 836 575 demerits to the frenchie next door i was standing on my deck sniffing the wind minding my own business when she came busting out of her dog door cursing and yelling the rudest things about my mama and my manliness and my intelligence it made my hair stand straight up i can t let such horrible smears on my character and made at such a high pitch and loud volume go unanswered so i had to give her a big boof in return and then staff made me go inside the frenchie next door is the worst bixby of the big boof time for our annual summer train bixby to ignore the frenchie next door lessons to begin sigh that frenchie is such a pain staff may 27 2022 10 merits to staff for not narcing on me to senior staff when i snuck into the forbidden zone when the barrier was open in order to do some very serious sunning in the most perfect pibble sunning spot in the entire house 20 480 387 demerits for senior staff dubbing this area the forbidden zone because some nonsense about bixbys not being allowed on the fancy white couches every couch should have a bixby for a captain especially the white ones i am sometimes allowed to do some supervised sunning in the forbidden zone but i snuck in while senior staff was distracted this time ha 100 000 merits to me staff told me that because she didn t know i was in the fz senior staff closed the barrier when she left i was technically trapped out there except i was so sound asleep that i didn t wake up until staff came around to photograph me about an hour later and opened the portal so i could go back to the permitted zone when i was done sunning sneaky bixby le roi soleil i spy the space between the couch and the windows gets so warm there s good sun all over the forbidden zone in the summer can t keep my eyes open may 28 2022 help i ve melted caramel sundae sauce bixby may 29 2022 go away staff i m busy being a precious sleeping angel puppy baby with a sapphire halo over here and it s a private fantasy that doesn t involve you beatific bixby june 2 2022 i don t know why my staff is making such a big deal about the fact that i m sunning on her bed in the afternoon i mean yeah i didn t sun on her bed for two whole years because nala told me i wasn t allowed on the bed during the daytime but i m sleeping with staff at night again after two years of not doing that and it s only natural that i would feel like i had a right to be on the bed during the daytime bixbys are very logical and good at extrapolating bixbys also like to sun without cameras intruding so step back staff and let me omd was that the frenchie next door bixby the nonchalant unless the fnd is involved what s the big deal sure it s been two years but i m here now and i have sunning to do and you re distracting me smoldering bixby eye omd was that the frenchie next door it was indeed the fnd but not something that bixby decided he needed to do anything about i m thrilled that insisting that he sleep with me at night has meant that he s using the bed in the daytime again too take that nala she really was a jerk about it and i was too sick to stop her so i felt so sorry for poor exiled bixby but he s back and his eyes are so beautiful in the sunshine staff june 5 2022 what do you mean where am i supposed to go i have very clearly left you a space you re supposed to squeeze up tight against my shoulder i didn t want to miss out on sharing my pillows with you tonight so i made sure to get in place before you got in bed remember there shouldn t be so much as an atom of empty space between us bixby snuggler in chief i had wrestle a pillow away from his clutches to put my head on how is it that sleeping dogs can get so heavy during the night he actually found a position where he could lay across me that didn t bother me closer to the pelvis than the rib cage for once and with no bony elbows in tender places and we both fell asleep that way it was his idea of heaven and pretty nice from my perspective too staff june 8 2022 1 000 000 000 demerits to senior staff for moving my dog bed out of her bedroom i was so sure it meant that she did not love me anymore i may be sleeping in staff s room full time now but i knew i always had a place with senior staff until she moved the bed so i got very sad and scared so sad and scared that it upset my tummy and i also had to be very clingy i was hoping that senior staff would make a special exception and let me up on the couch because i was feeling so worried but she wouldn t which was further proof that she didn t love me anymore staff at least felt sorry for me and senior staff moved my bed back into her bedroom and has been telling me she really does love me and then i was allowed access to the forbidden zone for sunning to help cheer me up but it s been a rough day folks bixby the tenderhearted since you maybe don t love me you might not mean it when you said i could be out here stress yawns if you really love me you ll take off my pillow nala was a jerk and booted me out of the first spot but fortunately there are multiple good sunning spots in the forbidden zone this time of year both staff and senior staff came out to sit with me ahh this place is my very favorite in the late afternoon the sun warmed wall feels so nice against my back i can finally relax a bit but i m going to need some good cuddles tonight for further proof that i am still wanted in this family it s a guess that moving his bed was what upset bixby so much today but it s a very educated guess knowing what we do about his sensitive heart if he thinks he s being rejected it wounds him so deeply poor guy staff june 9 2022 i want to give 100 merits to all the staff members in my household for proving that they still love me and want me though i may never fully recover from the horrible 1 000 000 000 demerit scare i got yesterday when senior staff moved my dog bed and i thought maybe she didn t love me and want me anymore i made a point of getting in the dog bed in senior staff s room for a while yesterday evening so that she knew without a doubt that i still wanted a bed in there even if i m sleeping in staff s room i think we all learned a lesson namely don t ever do that or anything like it again bixbys are sensitive souls and it is very important that every bixby knows at every moment that he is loved and wanted being loved and wanted is the natural state of bixbys and it is important to maintain the proper environment bixby the sensitive soul june 11 2022 the people puppy can just munch away on something delicious smelling called nori without having to do any tricks at all for senior staff while we have to hold a long leave it for rice chex so unfair martyrs nala and bixby this is especially wrong since the people puppy is a little boy and i am also a little boy and seems to me that all little boys ought to be sat at the table with sheets of nori or if not that at least i should get to be under the table while the pp plays with me with his feet but nooooo it s bixby get out from under the table pp needs to focus on eating his lunch if i was at the table i wouldn t be under the table did you ever think of that little boy bixby june 12 2022 staff called me a golden buffoon this is slander 6 02214076 x 10 23 demerits i m not a buffoon i m a gentleman and a scholar in addition to being a very handsome good boy in other words a bixby i am golden so i will issue 3 14159265859 merits for at least getting something right the name s bond bixby bond he s not even a golden buffoon he s a tan one queen nala the unimpressed june 15 2022 many demerits for staff for cracking up every single time she looks at me i got my board shorts and my muscle tank on i m ready to hit the beach or maybe the basketball court to shoot some hoops i look super stylish bixbys are of course very stylish by nature and i can t fathom what s amusing about that perhaps jealousy does jealousy give humans the giggles bixby athleisure animal extraordinaire who s a handsome boy i am who s the best dressed boy i am this is what happens when you lick your belly and your butt too much it s working great though my father got to come home to the sight of the dog wearing his underwear and laughed and laughed about it in addition to preventing him from licking i m able to slather on ointment without worrying about bixby licking it off staff june 19 2022 no demerits here just wanting to show off my breakdancing i think i look pretty fly well demerits to staff for not hooking me up with my own breaking crew are any of you pibbles breakdancers cause if you are watch out humans the battle is on pit bulls will naturally dominate the world bboy series because we are the bestest boys and girls in every way b boy bixby june 23 2022 feeling betrayed because i was only trying to coach the little squirrels who were on their first day out of the nest i was yelling encouragement and just wanted to make sure they were safe by wanting to be right under them as they crashed and slipped and ineptly leapt from branch to branch but noooooo staff made me come inside and leave the poor little squirrels alone how are they ever going to get trained up to be top notch acrobats without proper training also i think coach bixby has a nice ring to it don t you coach bix june 27 2022 merits to staff for turning up the heat demerits for also turning up the gravity boneless bixby july 1 2022 staff said it s not that bixby s shallow it s just that the water is extremely clear i m pretty that s a backpawed compliment forepaw compliments only staff and the thing is i think i do get pretty deep like here i am pondering what it means to be a good boy if you re not living up to all seven definitions of the adjective good can you truly say that you are a good boy humans often ask the question who s a good boy but it seems like they already have an answer in mind so should a dog even bother to quantify his own goodness can humans be trusted to make this judgment since they always answer the question who s a good boy with you re a good boy regardless of whether you are in fact by your estimation maybe not being the goodest boy at the moment should a gentleman and scholar such as myself aspire to a higher ideal of goodness than the humans do also what s the difference between a good boy and a good boi what does it mean to be a good boy and what s the difference between a good boy and a good boi the seven definitions of good 1 to be desired or approved of 2 having the qualities required for a particular role 3 possessing or displaying moral virtue 4 giving pleasure enjoyable or satisfying 5 thorough 6 valid 7 used in conjunction with an exclamation to express extreme surprise or anger july 3 2022 story time so there was a new friend cutting up the bushes in my yard this afternoon yay except i had to go outside on a leash because senior staff said we don t know if the pruner likes dogs which is total pibble because i am a joyful battering ram of golden sunshine and who wouldn t want this giant head coming at them at high speed boo staff insisted that i had to be on my best leash behavior too and not try to pull her over in my attempt to say hi hello i am a bixby i love you to my new friend who was snippy snipping the bushes boo to that too but i had to so whatever i found a place right by the fence and was maybe a little constipated and while i was struggling to pinch one off the havanese next door not to be confused with my best frenemy the frenchie next door on the other side of the yard came running up to the fence and was barking at me just inches away while i was trying to poop omd when i finally got that poop out i went wild it was amazing i almost pulled staff over i told that blustering hnd what i thought of him and his ruff ruff ing ha but eventually i let staff pull me away because the hnd is a total poser and not worth much of my time then i dragged her back to the house because the rule is if i come running back inside when one of the neighbor dogs is barking at me i get a treat jackpot i got treats poured into my mouth huzzah so i had a marvelous time in the end despite not getting to say hi to my new pruner friend because insulting the havanese next door is always super duper fun ha bucking bronco bixby suuuuuper bad timing by the havanese next door staff july 6 2022 bixby check out my booty in these shorts nala no how on earth is a dignified mature lady supposed to enjoy the simple pleasures of life while living with a bixby i find a nice spot of sun by the wall and what does he do stand over me and shake himself so i m stuck inhaling bixby dander in his shadow i find another nice sunning spot by the front windows and there he is again parking that blue clad butt right in my face he is so deluded that he thinks he s a fashion model well i ve got news for you you idiot you re wearing a pair of underpants backwards because you re so dumb that you ll lick your butt until it bleeds queen bixby should only exist on my terms nala bixby hey look here s my booty nala no i notice that you re happy enough to cuddle up to this hot bod come bedtime bixby the i m too sexy pibble july 11 2022 staff said oh bixby you re so silly major demerits because this is not silly there is some extremely serious work going on here i m practicing being a very handsome well dressed upside down kangaroo bixbys strive for versatility which requires great concentration made much harder by the fact that i haven t had dinner yet antipodean bixby who looks smashing in an off the shoulder look july 13 2022 omd omd omd omd merits everywhere merits flying like confetti senior staff let me lick the mixing bowl after she was done making my food for the week i m always very helpful when she prepares my special bixby food keeping close watch to make sure she uses the recipe formulated just for bixbys and tidying up after any spills and taste testing the scrambled eggs but this was the first time demerits for that that she let me clean the mixing bowl for a staff member who is normally prejudiced about making use of the pibble pre rinse cycle this is a stunning concession yum yum yum yum yum the bowl tried to run away from my vigorous bixby tongue but i p...