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Text of the page (random words):
al being perhaps i m an asexual being who has developed some limited sexual feeling this concept opens up so many new ways of looking at things that it s slightly blowing my mind right now i ve always felt a great psychological desire for sex but perhaps what i m craving there is not actually sexual fulfilment at all perhaps it s other kinds of fulfilment i ve simply assumed all these years that a fabulous sex life was the goal because you know that s what all of our culture throughout all of history tells us perhaps there are other things i want and other ways to find those things perhaps it s even possible to find people who are like me to some extent who might be interested in the way narrative makes things hot and not remotely interested in a storyless grinding of bodyparts together who might want something from sex that isn t sex perhaps we might be able to find other ways of being intimate and excited about each other is it possible to be both dominant and asexual if it s possible to be straight and asexual or gay and asexual i don t see why not am i dominant or do i just love drama am i dominant or is that feeling just a desire to never again do anything i didn t actively want to do resulting from years of doing stuff that other people were more excited about than i was and the feelings of alienation that result am i asexual partly asexual and all those intense psycho emotional crushes i ve had on people i knew i had absolutely no desire to sleep with at all there have been many of them many people i admired and adored and would have loved to be allowed to interact with with the kind of intimacy and passion you have in a relationship but in a non sexual way these passions have caused people to consider me a flirt over the years imagine if those people identified as asexual or even simply knew of the concept how things could be different i might be able to express my passion for people without having to worry that they would feel i was leading them on promising something i wasn t going to deliver the cardinal sin for a woman far worse than promiscuity i have no idea if this label really fits me i may be way off base but just knowing that it exists makes it possible for me to think in all kinds of new directions and there are certainly parts of me that it fits and making room for those parts makes me feel much less broken and much less hopeless sometimes i ve got so angry about the sex thing it s felt as though it s something that every other person on the planet gets but me and like a complete barrier to the possibility of a loving relationship apparently neither of those things are true hurrah via male submission art to maymay s which led me to dev s post love i hate kissing from the bottom i get pretty bored kissing from the top but then noone would ever let me bite them and asexy beast s and thence to aven posted in asexuality 9 comments control and emotion september 28 2009 by nameless posts eh none for six months and then three come along at once since i was posting i couldn t not also post about the spock stuff from the new star trek movie it pushes sooooo many of my buttons few things do it for me like a guy trying and failing to control overwhelming emotion sadness pain is best but i love anger too there s just so much tangled up here thousands of years of cultural stereotyping and archetyping the fact that whenever i write about this i always want to use the word manfully to describe this attempt at stoicism shows just how ingrained this stuff is of course the more stoic the guy the more delicious it is when he s overwhelmed the bigger they are the harder they fall and who is the ultimate in stoic self control why spock of course so what could possibly be more delicious than spock succumbing to grief and pain and anger and we ve got the h c thing here too the ultimate h c when it comes to emotional h surely i mean the guy s just lost not only his mother but his entire planet and become a member of an endangered species awesome women all over the world must have wanted to grab zoe saldana by her perky ponytail and yank her out of the way plus you know zachary quinto om nom nom i really wanted to post the clips for posterity but sadly all the actual clips appear to have been removed from youtube leaving only the crappy crappy fan vids please fans stop posting crappy crappy fan vids it makes it really hard to search for actual clips and seriously noone wants to watch your montage no matter what soppy song you set it to posted in men in emotional pain 1 comment heroes september 28 2009 by nameless so i fell off the face of the planet can t promise not to do it again i m still struggling with this stuff and still can t face going out to try and actually interact with it it s not even the thing itself that worries me at this point it s the thought of the scene i actually now feel like i want to move towards this to explore but i just have no clue how to do it so instead i ll just keep trawling the mainstream media in the safety of my own home getting far too excited about everything which looks even a little bit like something which might be my thing anyway i ve been meaning to post about heroes for a while flawed as it is here s a lot to like in it and i heartily approve of their equal opportunity approach to lechery season 2 was pretty much the season of half naked milo ventimiglia and season 3 the season of half naked zachary quinto thanks heroes producers in fact though ventimiglia s character peter didn t do for me at all in season 1 i might have loved him when i was 12 but as an adult he was just a bit twee for my taste but then season 2 opened it s the contrast as much as anything so i ll give you the back story peter was a sweet soft decent floppy haired pretty boy in a family of manipulative political near mobsters he was caring gentle emotional and perhaps a little fragile and worked as a palliative care nurse then he turned out to have the ability to absorb other people s superhero powers by empathising with them making him potentially the most powerful hero of the lot he tried so hard to use his powers for good but eventually he picked up some radioactive power that he couldn t control at all and at the end of season 1 his brother had to fly like superman not like aeroplane him out of new york in the nick of time to stop him accidentally blowing up the whole city so season 2 opens four months later and peter s still missing noone really knows what happened when he um exploded through the whole first episode everyone s wondering what happened to him and then far away in cork some petty criminals with incredibly unconvincing irish accents really rarely have i heard worse go to a dockyard looking for some stolen merchandise and open the crate to find not the ipods they were after but a very confused shirtless peter handcuffed to the wall all cropped hair dirt and muscles and with no idea who he is or how he got there i think my friends were a little confused by how excited i was about it but i m sure you can see it gentle peter suddenly turning up all dirty and muscular and bewildered like someone picked up that soft delicate creature shaved his head and brutalised him for four months and then chained him up in a crate and left him there what did they have him doing all that time was he digging holes being forced to use his powers for evil on a chain gang being experimented on so many fun places the mind goes to and then the not irish guys tie him to a chair and work him over still half naked so you can see all the muscles and sinews stretching splendid video of peter all dirty and bewildered and being beaten up in cork youtube continues to be too smart for me so you ll have to watch it on vimeo instead by the way it turns out that where he s been is indeed a research facility where he s spent four months being the plaything of the boss s sadistic lightning wielding daughter awesome and at first he s all these people know best i should be locked up because i m a danger to myself and others all docile and quietly taking the pills but later persuaded by the english guy next door another truly atrocious accent he starts plotting to escape and then he starts smooching up to her and letting her zap him to distract her from the fact that he s stopped taking the drugs which of course pleases my men offering up their body when out of other options thing no end and wow i wish i could shoot electricity from my lips how much fun video of peter being toyed with by sadistic daddy s girl in a research facility the following season the lightning wielding sadist elle ends up in a facility herself where she s visited by series big bad serial killer sylar quinto who killed her father to take his powers he s got a sudden case of the warm and fuzzies having had a taste of unconditional love from his long lost not really but he thought so real mother and so now his long lost not really but he thought so real father thinks he can change his ways and learn empathy to take people s powers without killing them by learning empathy so sylar lets elle take her revenge on him which she does by lightninging him up yes i said lightninging to the point where she s literally flaying the flesh from his bones i mean sure he regenerates but that doesn t mean it doesn t hurt hello wolverine my old friend and he just keeps getting up and letting her hurt him more taking it all for her and really they could hardly have found a better body to rip the clothes off with lightning video of lightning vengeance and then the next season the government decided everyone with powers should be rounded up and killed locked up experimented on so all the heroes had to go on the run i love men on the run the desperation the fear the loneliness the physical hardship the sheer unrelentingness of it yum yum yum so yeah a lot to love posted in coolness desperation drama hurt comfort mainstream sadism dominance pretty young men violence and physicality 3 comments if only she d kick him a little harder september 26 2009 by nameless after the fun of watching nsync being chased by dogs pop served me up another little morsel this morning i turned on the tv to find britney shoving some hot guy around thank you britney now sure it starts slow i came in about 2 38 when things are moving a bit more and there s an awful lot more pointy shoes than i d like if i was gonna kick someone i d be inclined to get out the combat boots but still hot guy being kicked in the stomach and thrown around by his tie and he looks so pretty when he s scared though there is a blink and you miss it backhand in the office scene just in time to mistake the gloved finger for a gun and get all excited posted in mainstream sadism dominance leave a comment all the mansubs in the land april 9 2009 by nameless having just read this post by axe i m now imagining a kind of fairy tale scenario you know like when the handsome prince invites every eligible woman in the land to a big ball in the hopes of finding one to marry like that but with one femdom and every mansub on craigslist would save a lot of time posted in uncategorized 8 comments meaningless labour february 25 2009 by nameless the powers that be are tormenting me having declared my labeouf lust i go to look up his other movies and what do i find holes labeouf is wrongfully convicted and sent to a brutal desert detention camp where he joins the job of digging holes for some mysterious reason which sounds like it ought to be the perfect movie escept that a it s disney and b he was just a kid at the time gah one day i m going to make a bdsm movie starring this guy you guys will invest right or perhaps you have more delicious ideas for casting posted in uncategorized 5 comments your compliance is vital february 23 2009 by nameless i seriously doubt anyone s going to be bothered but just in case i m declaring spoilers for eagle eye i have a little shia labeouf thing going at the moment what a great manga face i looooove big eyes to borrow a phrase from a young friend of mine i would wreck that i mean look at it why am i boring you with my slightly sinister cradle snatching lust because it represents a partial return to form for me you see i haven t been quiet just because i ve been busy though i have nope i ve been right off this whole bdsm m thing for a good month or so my brain has been utterly refusing to engage with it at all it hasn t wanted to play it s been like you know this thing is messed up let s just not look at it we can manage without sex we can get by without intimacy wouldn t that be easier move along now nothing to see here i ve been feeling intellectually repulsed by it i forget who called this social nausea but it s perfectly descriptive and sexually detached from it and then i saw eagle eye and found my um ears pricking up and it quickly became apparent that of course it wasn t the manga eyes that did it though that helps but that good old pain shame powerlessness self sacrifice thing again shia s character jerry is a drop out who is weighed down by feelings of inadequacy having being consistently outshone by his twin brother ethan and ignored by their parents at the start of the movie after being estranged from his family for some time he hears that ethan has been killed cue funeral scene with some really top notch crying god i love crying men he then gets activated by a mysterious woman who turns out to be a near omniscient and onmipotent computer and spends the next hour or so being a helpless pawn making futile attempts at rebellion but ultimately being outclassed and emotionally manipulated if only the computer had gone in for a little sexual harrassment as well sadly she is a computer and wastes the opportunity learning that his brother worked with the computer as a super secret air force secret agent type jerry decides to go along with it and finish the job for him he then discovers that ethan actually tried to foil the computer because it was trying to kill the president and so he has to race to stop the planned assassination and this was the yummiest bit to do this he runs into the state of the union address where a tiny crystal bomb in a necklace is about to be detonated by a trumpet i know mental climbs on a table and starts firing into the ceiling knowing full well that while this is going to save the day it s also going to result in him getting shot by every secret service man in the room the look on his face as he does this is simply gorgeous he knows what s coming and he can t bear to look so beautiful so as i m sure you expected here are some clips funeral with tears first and aftermath then we jump forwards to see him confronted with childhood memories and then of course the grand climax if all you want to see is the look on his face as he sacrifices himself for the greater good and his brother s memory skip forwards to about 6 45 edit gah youtube hate me you can watch it here instead so i guess i m ...