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Text of the page (random words):
dagsboro days dagsboro days i live in dagsboro these are my days saturday february 20 2016 imho the way i see it there are a couple ways of dealing with cancer i can let it have the power consume me wallow in it embrace its misery or just be me i consider myself a realist with a fairly positive point of view i saw a side of the cancer me on thursday briefly it was not pretty i awoke at 4 30am drove across the bridge for an appointment with my oncologist it was basically to inform me of the dirty facts on the chemotherapy and her drugs on my list my friend becky accompanied me she was a great diversion we are good support partners as we both experienced a summer from hell together i started all the pre op stuff blood work x ray ekg all went accordingly no drastic news nothing to turn me at some point during the day i became angry everything everyone i started to ease up as we drove to easton knowing i was going to see and hear anders osborne amy helm and the handsome strangers opened up and what a delight they were more ease anders came on and stared rocking the house right away people were up and dancing and pretty soon making their way into our space that anger started coming back i couldn t see or hear anything but my own frustration and anger it was aimed at the concert goers but i know that was not the true source at one point the energy on stage and off was so in sync it was almost like it was a heart beating or one breath in that instance i knew i had to let it go and miraculously i did the show ended everyone was up clapping hollering for an encore when anders came out he asked if there was a dana miller in the audience addressed me and dedicated the last song to me i am still in awe he took the time to read an email from my youngest who just asked him to watch out for me that i had a long probably rough day of appointments and could use a hug that act of tenderness and thoughtfulness made me feel the love coming from so many sources so anders while i said i might have a hat for your next time in town and i still might i am going to concentrate for a while on passing that love forward i will make hats to take with me to my chemotherapy treatments and give them away i will let the recipients know that healing thoughts and love went into each stitch this will be my healing also and will ward off the anger i truly am the lucky one my handsome prince by my side my daughters and their men my family my friends and some random people in there including an artist from new orleans are all on my side yes i am the lucky one this is the song a serious car wreck a bad fall from a cliff and the raging blue river once took me from a raft in breckenridge i ve been held up in new orleans and strung out in stockh olm and i ve slept on those cold cold streets of new york city alone i can t explain why i m still here today i m just thankful that i am yeah i have survived more than i should pushed it as far as i could reachin for the skies and i walked on the edge more than most heaven knows i have cut it close but i m alive after all that i have done it s you that makes me the lucky one yeah my heart has been broken by love and by death and i ve been down on my bad knees prayin to jesus with a devils breath and i lost all my money you know faith and beliefs but somehow the world around me showed nothing but sympathy and everyday that i wake up to see the sun and i thank god you still think that i m the one pushed it as far as i could reachin for the skies and i have walked on the edge more than most heaven knows i ve cut it close but i m alive after all that i have done it s you that makes me the lucky one it s you that makes me the lucky one posted by dana at 9 03 pm 1 comment wednesday february 17 2016 diversion the sky blue the tide low the trail sandy the pines fragrant the herons sighted the solitude unbroken almost this was a much needed diversion from the anxiety that was threatening this morning my solitude was broken by a phone call from the court system saying i was truly excused from jury duty one less thing on which for me to dwell my oncology appointment is tomorrow morning which means i will be leaving before the sun rises i have a friend who will be my second set of ears and my handsome prince will be home with our dogs again one less thing as i do worry about them i will have lunch with audge a bright spot in the middle it will be a long day but it ends with none other than anders osborn and you know how i feel about him he is knit worthy posted by dana at 1 50 pm no comments friday february 12 2016 family motto i think this statement defines my family encompassing much from job changes and insecurity to graduating early to a cross country move to numerous cancer diagnosis it has saved us and it will pull us through yet again even across miles funny how i see it at work every day three weeks ago i found a lump in my breast i immediately had my order changed from a screening mammogram to a diagnostic one along with an ultrasound from afar my dr was all over it suspicious they said along with you have dense breasts a biopsy was quickly scheduled and within two days i had those results positive for cancer wednesday my handsome prince and my sissy accompanied me to the gbmc breast care center this is a recap of my day wow what a day marathon in length and overwhelming with information i did not realize how many factors there are in the various ways breast cancer presents itself needless to say i would have been happy to have remained naive i have a small aggressive tumor nothing unusual treatment will take about a year it s nothing they haven t seen or done many times my treatment protocol begins with treating the whole body first with chemotherapy for approximately 3 months intravenously about every 3 weeks i ll get a break for a few weeks then will have outpatient lumpectomy along with a possible lymph node biopsy currently there does not appear to be any invasion woohoo after chemo has knocked out any stray cells and shrunk the lump and the lump has been removed radiation will take care of anything possibly left in my breast there is one medication that is a cancer cell growth inhibitor that i will be on for a full year that s only a small portion of the information i received there was nothing we did not like about my doctor her communication her thoroughness her explanations i will not seek another opinion i do have an appointment with an oncologist next week which i believe will cover the treatment plan yet again i received a pink rose which i still can t decide is sweet or just a really sucky consolation prize phrase for the day you have very dense breasts yeah i know wish i got money every time they said that good news i m getting out of jury duty i think i circulated that as an email to my family my friends my ministers and i have started spreading the word that i would like prayers meditations strength i am overwhelmed this time with love and gratitude i had been thinking about resurrecting my blog filling it with creative endeavors this is not what i had in mind but it along with my knitting will be therapeutic posted by dana at 7 58 am 4 comments thursday april 02 2015 rockin the v my friends and employers started the v stance at work we stand arms raised in a v and send out our wishes for a good day yoga prayer whatever you want to call it it feels comfortable for me my feet rooted firmly to the earth and my energy flowing out and my heart open and ready to receive feels so much more natural than to be closed up with my head bowed hands clenched so yesterday on my walk on a trail i unloaded my thoughts concerns joys and thanks i stood at the water s edge listened to the wind and the waves and was renewed and refreshed i think i am gonna keep on rockin the v posted by dana at 7 12 am 1 comment monday april 21 2014 hallelujah it was a lovely weekend a lovely day like old times the only thing missing was church well and other family members and that s not due to lack of faith belief or desire it just happens that way when the whole gang is visiting we hung out played games cooked delicious food drank good beer and just rejoiced in our time together in good health rejoiced for future events and i know a few of us rejoiced for the risen one posted by dana at 8 52 am 2 comments tuesday january 07 2014 today i am 50 and i am genuinely content satisfied dare i say i happy i have made significant changes in my life the last several months i have discovered things about myself this year and drawn on an inner strength that i did not know existed i have loved the man in my life so fiercely and protectively and he is still here with me 28 years and still counting my girls are both in good places in their lives though not without challenges and have faced their daddy s illness with such grace and strength that i am brought to my knees i have renewed friendships and really made some genuine ones here in delaware i have developed my knitting to a higher level and it has brought me so much peace meditation one year ago i was crying in the shower dreading the day it was the day we were to visit the medical oncologist and get the schedule of treatment and afterwards dreading dinner out something i usually thoroughly enjoy and anticipate making nice after receiving who knows what kind of news it was not the way i wanted to celebrate my birthday and yet i survived the day and look i survived the year on top happy birthday to me this year my handsome prince threw a party for me like no other today it s been a day spent with my maminka who came over for breakfast in the morning another joy that we can do that an incredible post from my sissy another from my eldest and a phone call from the youngest and my father knitting working out being serenaded by my trainer and her daughters another reason to love her knitting snuggling with my little man and best of all chillin with my handsome prince making plans watching movies and just being us and here i am full of attitude for what s to come for i know that i am in the moment with my contentment and there are challenges ahead posted by dana at 11 33 am 1 comment the rest of the story remember this post well i knit the hat packaged it in a little gift bag and managed to stand at the front of the stage at dfh while my favorite musician anders osborne performed i was close enough to smell his spearmint gum and felt like a little girl holding this package all nervous to present it at the end of his set he exited and everyone cheered for his encore before he began i lifted up my bag and with a tilt of his head a surprised look on his face he said for me and i nodded the joy and smile on his face was perfect i gave a gift no expectations and the response was genuine but wait there is more this year during a morning check in on my ipad i came across a photo in my facebook news feed and exclaimed no way i turned the screen around to show my handsome prince and he knew right away he said with some pride in his voice he s wearing your hat a professional photo of anders osborne performing wearing the hat i knit for him how cool is that i saved the photo to my album and that was the end of that but wait there is more my handsome prince planned a party for my 50th birthday it was at our favorite pub the same place where anders performed the place where we have found our community of people the place that we look forward to going every single week family and friends from near and far joined us and it was a great evening at one point mhp wanted me to open the gift from him a large package wrapped in brown craft paper as i opened i laughed it was a photo of anders focused on his guitar wearing my hat it was signed dana thanks for the hat anders and i laughed again just call me knitter to a rock star and now you know the rest of the story posted by dana at 11 25 am no comments tuesday december 31 2013 happy new year we were cleaning for our the christmas celebration we were hosting and found some old gift tags they were from a present from my friend and i kept them because she made them they were creative lovely and i liked them one of them read something along the lines of 2013 will be the best year yet i voiced aloud oh yeah the best year yet very sarcastically there was a pause and then my handsome prince said but it was and then he listed all the great things that had happened most importantly the fact that he made it through so yes 2013 was the best year and do you know what so will 2014 happy new year may we all find the best yet in every year posted by dana at 8 21 am no comments older posts home subscribe to posts atom about me dana view my complete profile blog archive 2016 3 february 3 imho diversion family motto 2015 1 april 1 2014 3 april 1 january 2 2013 69 december 1 november 2 september 3 august 9 july 8 june 2 may 16 april 6 march 6 february 9 january 7 2012 4 june 1 february 1 january 2 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