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Text of the page (random words):
rom one of the ashurnasirpal ones absolutely identical somehow the commanding powerful presence of the neo assyrian kings doesn t quite come through in meringue my tart king looks wet and annoying you don t get the feeling he d ravage your city but he might put on a slightly whiney voice and ask to borrow it perhaps he could be esarhaddon the readership of this blog has expanded somewhat of late so for the non assyriologists esarhaddon was a permanently sickly neo assyrian king who spent a lot of his time moping in his room on the other hand the main thing that really sticks with me about esarhaddon is that he had a horrible skin rash all over his body and that s not particularly appetising let s say it s ashur etil ilani one of the last kings of the neo assyrian empire we don t know anything about him except that he only managed to hold onto the throne for three years but if he d been made from meringue he d definitely have looked exactly like this the breakfast of champions i mean the afternoon tea of champions i definitely don t schedule these blog posts to be published long after i ve written them there s no way i took this photo first thing in the morning even though i m planning to post in the afternoon and i m certainly not going to eat a slice of chocolate tart with meringue and added cream for breakfast i wouldn t dream of it i should probably be nicer to esarhaddon he clearly had a pretty awful time of it and in order to hide his hideous chronic illnesses he insisted that everyone who came before him should be veiled and kneeling which sounds so much like the premise of a borges story that you have to be on his side share this share on x opens in new window x share on facebook opens in new window facebook like loading the assyriology easter duck weight cake march 26 2018 sarah 1 comment happy almost easter everyone obviously thinking up an easter themed assyriology cake wasn t hard while rabbits and eggs don t really have much of a connection with mesopotamia ducks certainly do in that hundreds of mesopotamian weights are shaped like ducks a smaller collection of stamp seals are also shaped like ducks these aren t weights by the way even though the look like it i ve spent the last two months in various museums around the world weighing duck shaped stamp seals and discovering that they aren t weights what an exciting life i lead since duck weights are clearly the perfect easter theme for the perfect easter cake i added piped grass and little flowers just to make sure this is a delicious replica of a hematite weight from the late third millennium bc its inscription describes how it was made by the king shulgi and weighs five mina or about 2 5kg it s made of chocolate cake or at least the replica is although to be fair i ve never tasted the real one here is the real one that is shockingly the only available photo so here s a replica that s less cake based than mine but far more useful for getting an idea of the object itself those of you with sharp eyes and an uncanny ability to read my poorly copied inscription may have noticed that the customary royal epithet nita kala ga the strong man is mysteriously missing from my copy maybe i accidently forgot it because i was writing this from memory maybe i decided that shulgi who is mainly famous for reforming the bureaucracy of his state and distributing weights and measures didn t really conform to the hyper masculine standards of 3 rd millennium mesopotamian kingship and shouldn t have felt he needed to so i removed the epithet as a retroactive display of support for his more administrative approach to ruling i really want it to be the second one of those options because i like shulgi and his governing style and also because i don t want to be the girl who has sumerian weight inscriptions badly memorized but i should probably just embrace who i am as a person i feel this cake is an excellent show case for my talents that s a hilarious joke because the talent was a unit of weight in mesopotamia but it s also true i made this cake under severely difficult circumstances i m in germany which in itself is fine but it also means i m without access to my palette knife my rolling pin good black edible paint honestly decent edible paint should not be that hard to come by anything that i could use to dye fondant decent fondant and baking powder germans have baking powder and it doesn t work i m not just making that up it s genuinely different from english baking powders which is fair enough but the german stuff is at best a placebo i tried to bring my own from england but for some unknown reason my box of white powder got confiscated at the airport this has become a tangent but i really feel that the lack of working baking powder in germany is a serious problem of which more people should be aware incidentally when i wanted to a quick shape guide while i was carving i just googled duck weight it turns out that not everyone makes the immediate connection to mesopotamia and google certainly doesn t did you know that a mature mallard weighs 0 72 1 6g eating artefacts will return after an easter break with an ugaritic tablet cake that was actually requested by more than one person i knew i wasn t the only one who wanted to eat ancient artefacts share this share on x opens in new window x share on facebook opens in new window facebook like loading a timeline of writing in the third millennium made of victoria sponge march 18 2018 sarah 5 comments this is obviously a continuation from my previous timeline of the invention of writing you could link them up if you wanted of course that one had dates whereas this one has period names maybe i thought period names were more appropriate since these tablets are always by known by their period and never by their dates perhaps i ate too many of the strawberry laces to write out the dates perhaps that would also explain why the period names are abbreviated as opposed to written in full perhaps it will always remain a mystery so starting with this nice little little archaic ur text from the early dynastic i ii period the large most obvious signs are the number signs they still look like the uruk period ones and although there are some wedge shaped signs there are still some with rounded shapes then we move to the early dynastic iiia here s a copy of a lovely if slightly broken tablet from the city of shuruppak notice how the number signs are still impressed in the same archaic as the uruk and early dynastic i ii tablets but that all the rest of the signs are now the nice traditional wedge shape i can attest to the fact that making the signs out of impressed wedges is a much quicker way to write than drawing them out at least on fondant ed cakes this is the next stage a tablet from early dynastic iiib girsu again the number signs are still nice and archaic and probably impressed with the end of the stylus by the way this tablet is exciting for another reason as well this is one of the first texts that references a measurement of grain called the gur sag gal poorly written in the top left hand corner hmm it s possible that that particular fact was only exciting to me i study ancient systems of measurement and if we re being honest i lost track of what other people find interesting a long time ago does it show and then we come to the old akkadian period the akkadian kings brought numerous changes to the writing systems and the tablets and to metrology as here the tablets are much more rectangular and the number signs are at last written with wedges as opposed to impressed with the end of the stylus all of the lines on this tablet except for the top one begin with numbers and finally we come to the uninspiringly titled ur iii period it s the ugliest name flat unimpressive and when you say it in conversation to non assyriologists they stare at you blankly and make you wish that you studied something that included the word babylonian but it s tablets are the best this one here is a little receipt for a quantity of silver incidentally moudhy al rashid posts wonderful stuff on twitter under the caption cuneiform is beautiful and she s right it really can be cuneiform is beautiful pic twitter com issb9rckpw dr moudhy al rashid moudhy march 10 2018 shiny diorite stele with precise even signs or huge cylinders with tiny writing covering them completely are very visually appealing moudhy s photography skills help too but as far as i m concerned the scrappy ugly little tablets are the best bits of assyriology they re the most human of ancient artefacts tax records scribbled receipts bickering letters their ugliness is part of their charm a demonstration of the fact that their contents are all that anyone cared about and an attestation to their honesty royal inscriptions and the like can be stunning and well written but they re also riddled with lies exaggerations and nonsense but look at that ur iii tablet or at least at its cake replica because of that tablet we know with absolute certainty that a man called basaga gave another man called akalla 43g of silver in the 33 rd regnal year of king shulgi over 4 000 years ago the precision and undimmed truthfulness of that kind of knowledge astounds me ever time and then i make it out of cake the ur iii texts have another wonderful bonus they re the perfect fondant fancy size for mid afternoon tea points if you can guess what book i m reading points in the form of cake seriously i m producing a lot of cake would anyone like some share this share on x opens in new window x share on facebook opens in new window facebook like loading the stele of ur namma march 10 2018 sarah leave a comment this is the detail from the stela of ur namma the famous image that looks something like the cake i ve made and a little more like this the stela dates from the ur iii period at the end of the third millennium bc and shows the king ur namma receiving the rod and coil a symbol of power from the god of his dynasty while he pours some water on a tree incidentally despite my reproduction the stela isn t actually made of a grey stone but a nice beige one i ve seen the black and white copy above so many times that i bought grey fondant without even thinking the cake itself is more proof of concept than a truly excellent bake it s a bit rough and ready and it certainly lacks detailing all of this is a great shame because i really wanted to say that it was stellar my problem was this how to properly capture mesopotamian reliefs in cake bas reliefs on cakes are normally fondant pressed into shape in a mold and then laid on top of the cake there were a few problems with this technique first while i am definitely in the market for ancient mesopotamian molds i didn t have one to hand this afternoon second i really dislike the practice of building up huge deposits of fondant on a cake it s not because i don t like eating mounds of pure sugar its normally best to buy double quantities of fondant when i m decorating because i do snack as i go it just feels like cheating because at its heart then fondant is just edible modelling clay so this is what i went for instead a sheet of cake with figures cut from a second sheet and laid on top then i built up the 3d features like the arms and clothing folds with more cake and icing before laying fondant over it it sort of works what a relief i m hilarious the other bonus about this cake is that it actually relates to an article i m writing which at least references the rod and coil this is pleasant for me because my current research focuses on ancient mesopotamian measuring systems and is heavy in statistics so it was this or the the cosine quantogram analysis i hear you saying that i couldn t possibly make that into a cake and you d be right i had to use biscuit to make a version of the cosine quantogram analysis results from my last paper i ve found the appeal to be limited share this share on x opens in new window x share on facebook opens in new window facebook like loading a timeline of the invention of writing which is made of cake and chocolate and strawberry laces march 4 2018 sarah 2 comments i have spent longer trying to figure out a good pun for this post than i spent baking the cakes and i ve finally just given up i nearly made the entire thing out of scottish tablet so i could work one in it would have been the right colour and a pretty good consistency but then i don t like scottish tablet and what s the point of making a timeline of the invention of writing in cake form if you won t enjoy eating it afterwards so instead this is all chocolate cake coffee icing coffee fondant chocolate and strawberry laces i can now inform my readership that strawberry laces do not go with any of those other foods this blog truly is about learning all dates are naturally bc so we start off with chocolate tokens in geometric shapes those splodges of chocolate definitely count as circles non chocolate versions are found from 8000bc 3000bc at various archaeological sites and were probably counters to keep track of goods so one cone represents one jar of grain and one splodge represents one sheep and then in 3500 bc tokens started being stored in round hollow envelopes in some cases impressions of the tokens that were inside were made on the outside so you didn t have to crack open the envelope to see what was inside gradually flattened clay tablets with the signs impressed on them replaced the envelopes by 3100bc there were added pictograms which could indicate the goods names of individuals and perhaps even the intended use of the goods so in the larger more complex tablet the box on the top left has a quantity a picture of grain and a picture of ration bowls so maybe this suggests that this grain was intended as rations or maybe not honestly every time i read about these archaic writing systems i become more convinced that they re just looking at squiggly pictures and making it up this is what all this looks like when it s not made of cake by the way it s terribly impressive but here s what you can do with mine that you can t do with ancient artefacts they may have invented writing but this is my lunch i think we all know who s winning here i also have a new favourite blog it s the crews project blog and their ancient artefact baking knitting and pun game is on point i d like to sincerely thank them for giving me something to read while i avoid cleaning the kitchen next week how these archaic systems developed into cuneiform woo share this share on x opens in new window x share on facebook opens in new window facebook like loading the sutton hoo purse lid cake october 10 2017 march 2 2018 sarah leave a comment one of these days i d like to do a carved chocolate replica of the sutton hoo helmet but for now i m starting small so here s the purse lid from the same burial complete with imagined replica purse because i wanted an actual cake instead of just a biscuit as with all these cakes this represen...