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Text of the page (random words):
jeremy kyle show about this matter as i believe all possible avenues should be explored in the end it may well be that peter cushing and his wild haired girlfriend here really are my parents and that i m stuck with them for the duration outside the world looks an exciting place where people can enter tv talent contests or play online bingo in here th ah there goes the doorbell again the scent of patchouli oil from the previous visitor still clings to my skin like the tentacles of an octopus with separation issues but one ploughs on with already characteristic stoicism daddy is probably right heroism does indeed come in many guises categorized in moonkelet diary in praise of our armed forces 10200710 01 00 27 responses i don t know if you heard but there is a campaign this week which is encouraging us to show our appreciation for all the hard work that our armed forces have been doing in iraq and afghanistan we are being asked by one of the campaign organisers to create a logo for a t shirt anything that takes our fancy and send it to them the intention is to improve our soldiers morale and fill their hearts with warm and loving feelings towards humanity when they realise how appreciated they really are we should then post the t shirts to them at the same time thereby creating one of those hollywood moments at the end of the film when the poignant music plays while the weary soldiers having witnessed every kind of atrocity known to mankind open their packages at the same time for that extra touch of emotion they could drape one of the guys who didn t make it with one of these t shirts an admirable idea i m sure you ll agree but that was yesterday and since i missed the deadline for sending the t shirt i decided to write this post instead because i just couldn t pass this opportunity to express my feelings of gratitude it must be a source of great distress to our brave boys and girls that the latte swigging guardian reading lefties scoff and roll their eyes whenever an idea as noble as this is suggested what our soldiers would like is for a bit of appreciation from the british public you know perhaps nothing quite as ott as what the american soldiers get back home the red carpet treatment would suffice they do after all lay their lives on the line for us and as demi moore once famously said they stand on that wall and say nothing will happen to you not on my watch assuming there are no friendly fire incidents stirring stuff indeed mr kipling as well as making exceedingly good cakes wrote a bit of kaki nosed poetry in his spare time too he called this phenomenon mocking those who guard you while you sleep oh and how they mock what those tree hugging sandal wearing beardy weirdies don t realise is that when those impressionable young people joined up it had nothing to do with the recruitment ads on tv which implied that joining the army is a lot of fun really all that climbing up and skiing down mountains playing with a lot of hi tech kit or even learning to drive through an unlit wooded area instead of joy riding around the backstreets of southshields nor as they point out between gulps of fruit tea and mouthfuls of muesli did they join because of later ads which suggested that being in the army would make them a lot more attractive to the opposite sex you know the sort of thing in them female officers could expect leering men in bars to become completely incapacitated and sometimes even soil themselves in anticipation of the kinky sex that lay ahead after introducing themselves as captain dimwit and lieutenant spongebrains equally male officers could expect women to become so up for it once they listened to the two bragging pilots discussing who was better at landing helicopters in a storm that a simple tap on the shoulder would automatically cause their knickers to fall down around their ankles nope they are too bright and perceptive to fall for that kind of trickery they joined because they wanted to make a difference like the gallant great war soldier guided by the romantic image of charging at an enemy machinegun turret armed only with a single shot rifle and bayonet they wanted to combat the forces of evil they are also intelligent enough to understand that their superiors know best and it is not up to them to question orders however amoral or irrational they may appear they comprehend at once that their commanding officers are acting on behalf of queen and country and her majesty is after all the head of the church and as such instinctively knows god s will it s all about courage you see a concept which the vegetable protein munching raspberry frappuccino guzzling liberals cannot grasp it takes courage to press that red button knowing that innocent people are going to die just like it takes balls the size of watermelons to invade a country to depose a tyrannical regime which we helped implement and supported in the first place all that and their faces still manage to retain their usual pallor it is about time that we recognised that sort of bravery in this country for my part i would like to say a huge thank you to those brave boys and girls out there doing their bit thank you for making our country richer with the extra oil for me personally it has been a huge bonus being a curvaceous 25 stone person i can now afford to fill my two ton 4 4 with petrol and drive to mcdonald s for my daily extra large big mac instead of having to walk the twenty minute round trip and for all that i shall be eternally grateful now s ince i missed the chance to send the t shirt that i designed i thought i might post what i came up with here i hope you like it a v for victory of course oh and i do hope that you will forgive the placard carrying pink champagne sipping socialists for their unpatriotic dissent forgive them for they know not what they say it says so in the bible you understand i m sure that the main reason for wreaking such havoc around the world is so that we can all express our opinions freely without fear of persecution now praise the lord and go kill them all and remember it s not rape if they re dead categorized in uncategorized oooh it s posh in harrogate 920079 01 00 21 responses i go out for a walk in town i descend the first floor steps out into the courtyard and under the archway which supports the working clock tower complete with signature weathervane apparently it was built by a man named samson fox an ancestor it turns out of james and edward fox for those of you who only believe in the value of something if it has a celebrity connection as a stable block for grove house with the intention of not only lodging the future king edward vii s horses on his visits to yorkshire but also to provide them with that modern essential the equine turkish bath as i step out onto the street pavement i instinctively look over to my left towards the house which a few months ago was the focus of intense concentration by the police they were there for a good three days a car parked adjacent to the house with two police officers standing behind it staring intently towards the house the rest of the street was cordoned off and the residents were told not to go out it transpired that a man inside the house was armed and refusing to come out the residents became prisoners in their own homes for those two days or so today everything seems to be back to normal apart from a mixed group of teenagers perched on the bench drinking what looks suspiciously like lager over the years they went from pesky children shouting abuse at passers by to much more threatening near adults in town i visit the only two bookshops if you count whsmith they seem of late to have been invaded by books with emotive covers featuring angelic looking children and bearing titles which are variations on please daddy no in the pedestrianised cambridge street rudy the local character walks around shouting into a karaoke machine what sounds like a rock version of bright eyes stopping occasionally to chat to teenagers on my walk he is the only person to look me directly in the eyes and say hello he calls me brother which i haven t been able to ascertain whether it is because of the connection between our skin tones or whether this is how he addresses everyone on sunny days he tends to sit in the middle of the walkway cross legged and staring into the sun harrogate seems to possess that dangerous combination of sheltered provinciality and a past associated with nobility and royalty indeed one often has the impression that everything in harrogate has a royal connection streets pubs hotels squares perhaps for this reason it has always struck me as a town with ideas above its station something acquired no doubt through hundreds of years of royal schmoozing in the days when its foul tasting sulphur and iron rich water was seen as a blanket cure for any illness beyond the grasp of medicine s rather petite hands it became a haven for medical lost causes not least the members of whichever royal household happened to be reigning at the time they still come now though no longer to drink the water prince charles visits every year apparently on valentine s day i ve seen him in one such occasion coming out of betty s tearooms to plant a tree in the cenotaph square under the adoring gaze of a crowd of royal groupies frantically waving their miniature union jacks nowadays harrogate has little more to boast about than the international conference centre and the great yorkshire show which plays havoc with the already heavy traffic system but its previous history has left its citizens with a disproportional level of hubris and quaint old fashioned values in the cafes demure old ladies daintily eat their sponge cakes and sip their tea while no doubt discussing the latest royal visit and speculating on the next one for me harrogate s a rather neat metaphor for life you shuffle between banks and shops ignoring the significance of the war memorial until eventually overcome with tiredness you end up down in the valley gardens for a long rest when i return home i notice the teenagers have dispersed as i reach the archway entrance i see a girl crouched down her back against the wall she looks like she is in trouble and i prepare to ask if she needs help but as i approach i notice a stream filling in the gaps between the smooth cobbles the source of which appears to be somewhere under her skirt steam rises from it like fog hovering over a river she looks up and sees me and although she reacts in a suitably sheepish manner manages simply to say as if categorized in harrogate under the copper beech 820078 01 00 21 responses i approach the garden with a certain amount of trepidation the grass which is usually trim hasn t been cut in a while at the bottom of the garden there is a copper beech tree whose branches droop almost as far as the ground creating a secluded canopied area underneath through there she says pointing to the tree i make my way in gingerly pushing the branches aside with one hand and holding the spade with the other the earth here is dry unaffected it would seem by the recent diluvial weather i examine the body in surprisingly good condition considering it has probably been here for a week when he was first reported missing i half heartedly begin to dig but this is not the kind of work that accommodates half heartedness and the arid ground refuses to yield why now i think aggrieved by recent events his stubbornness and refusal to respond to reason is quite exasperating for someone who spent his entire life regularly exercising and eating healthily why would he give up so easily i am my own doctor he had said clearly irritated by our concerned badgering people in their sixties even their seventies are not considered old anymore and yet at the first sign of trouble he expects the worst confronted with the headlights of a potential death sentence delivered by a doctor decades his junior he becomes paralysed by fear doctors are young and would have no interest in treating someone my age if i went into hospital i probably wouldn t come out alive he had said looking emaciated like a prisoner of war his distrust of doctors seems to stem from his belief that they are directly responsible for his wife s death nearly fourteen years ago when she had slipped into a hepatic coma the doctors having given up on her withheld food and water which although counterintuitive since the liver is an organ capable of regeneration is apparently standard practice in england i look up at her through the leaves she is standing on the concrete path that surrounds the house arms anxiously folded across her chest i didn t know her when her mother died despite her unflagging cheerfulness i have often noticed a well concealed sadness in her eyes and an almost imperceptible quiver of the lips disguised by a solemn look of remembrance particularly whilst relating a recurring dream in it her mother is still alive having made a full recovery from her coma and life has once again returned to normal but her narrative ends there she doesn t speak of the pain that each time she awakes to realise it was only a dream must cause her now expecting her first child our first child this i stab at the soil with renewed vigour bitten again by the untimeliness of events the hole looks deep enough how deep is deep enough and i gently scoop the animal up he is lying on his side in a languid stretch and disconcertingly has his eyes open staring unseeingly ahead it must have been one of those cases often told in cat lore in which the poor animal sensing his time was up decided to make his way to a secluded spot to accept his fate apparently he was around fifteen years old had he shown signs of illness i wonder even if he had it is unlikely his owner would have taken him to a vet no doubt worried that they might put the animal to sleep my job here is done and i walk back across the long grass to where she is standing in the distance the accusing whirr of a lawnmower is cranked into life as we leave the garden in a silent embrace categorized in uncategorized the grand old lady of the adriatic 820078 01 00 17 responses full of tricks this old girl even before you arrive you are already bound by her demands and caprices they shall only reach me by boat she determined evidently understanding the romantic appeal conveyed by this simple trick she also insists that you approach her from a certain angle the light catching her just so during what is a vulnerable moment in the traveller s suggestible heart there she sits devastatingly beautiful in a pose that is at once demure and provocative the cityscape equivalent of the mona lisa she is dressed in the finery designed for her with the natural rhythms of daily life style and colour coordination cunningly interwoven for maximum visual effect as well as the long liquid emerald necklace carelessly draped over her body she is adorned with the treasures created by her many artistic sons and ...