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Text of the page (random words):
id where are you is this two lines do you see two lines no no here here two they re kind of faint yes right there you want me to take another one now no don t open that bottle of wine i think this one s for real fine i ll take a test tomorrow morning too fine if it s negative you re going to be sorry though my hopes are all up i don t think i could take it this one might be for real this time oh honey was it ever for real i ve got five pounds hanging around my waist and a 14 pound baby on my chest sleeping now that vouch for how real that whole thing was this time last year it seems like years ago years power struggles only not the kind you re thinking july 27 2010 posted by erin f wasinger in being a mama 1 comment so far dave was out on the airventure grounds late which means the 5 30 scheduled pick up from the sitter s turned into a 6 p m pick up and by the time the three of them swung back around downtown to the office to pick me up it i was about to just bunch my jacket under my head and sleep under my desk alice screamed mama with three exclamation points as i hopped in the car but i could tell by the dark circles under her eyes that any conversation i might try to start with her held verbal land mines i tested this theory anyhow and lobbed a comment about changing into pajamas she shrieked no mama no jannies do i know my verbal landmines or what what this continued every step of the way inside the house no she didn t want daddy to take her out of her carseat she wanted mama she didn t want daddy to help her up the stairs into the house she wanted to hold mama s hand she didn t want daddy to put the pot on the stove for ravioli she wanted mama to do it darling by the time i scooped violet out of her carseat to feed her alice was in hysterics mama no vi yit mama up alcie howld mama i tried to ignore her with the good natured smile because what am i if not good natured right but the kid just couldn t handle life at that moment she flung herself on the ground and wailed into the wood floor until dave lured her to the table with ravioli i fed violet in the recliner we d shoved in the corner of the dining room see also we need a bigger house and oh this i live like this yes as alice and dave silently ate when dave was done we swapped duties he held the content violet i got the touch and go alice who had just finished her last ravioli and had her eyes on my full plate cue shark music you know on nature shows when the gazelle realizes it s about to watch a predator yank its dinner from beneath its nose well this time the gazelle won i stared at my own ravioli the now cold kind of pasty looking ravioli laying on my plate in the most unappetizing heap ever and i never wanted anything so much i knew i did i did know this that it was our fault that alice was so peeved we worked too late she ate dinner late it was past her bedtime and dave never ever makes enough ravioli more avioli alice screamed pointing to my plate dave tell me you have more ravioli on the stove no he said backing away slowly land mines exploded in my head david david more avioli more exclamation points i sat down in front of the plate i looked at her tired teary blue eyes back to my ravioli back to her eyes back to my ravioli and then i freakin ate it i did i ate it i ate it while she screamed at me it was cold and it came apart in pasty bits in my mouth dave tired from being on the airventure grounds all day working handed me violet to take on toddler damage control what do you want me to do he asked over her screaming i don t know i shrieked shoving ravioli in my mouth more darling i m sure the best mother would ve shared a patient mother would ve at least explained why sharing was out of the question another mother would ve hidden the ravioli until bedtime and then reheated it but i am not those mothers i am the mother who eats the cold lumpy ravioli because i was hungry because i d just worked 10 1 2 hours because the world can be a cold callous place when a mom s tired and because i m teaching her that sometimes there just isn t enough ravioli dave will never make enough ravioli all i m sayin is you d better eat that whole plate dave said a few minutes later as alice stared at me coldly wiping her tears with the back of her hand pity graham cracker in hand watch me my 3 month old version 2 0 july 27 2010 posted by erin f wasinger in letters to violet 1 comment so far dear violet not to constantly compare you to your sister but compared to your sister at this stage in her life life with you is like fumbling through a dense forest and wandering right into a marshmallow bush sweet unexpected delicious a bit impossible to believe with your sister it was more like stumbling through a thicket patch and stumbling on a poison ivy patch a mile wide uncomfortable unfortunate itchy you re like a real baby you cry when you re hungry you laugh when you see me or your sister or your dad you snuggle on our chests and sleep while we watch pbs chubby rolls on your arms and legs are almost impossible not to constantly pinch your smooth skin makes me weep over my old lady exterior johnson s lies no lotion will ever transform my skin to replicate how feather soft yours is life is unfair you coo you speak to alice and i when we hover over your little flailing arms and legs on the blanket in the living room every night from 9 to 10 30 i hold you in the crook of my arm and alternately read and watch you sleep staring at the little purple veins in your eyes and how your dark hair sticks to your sweaty head sounds creepy but i think as you get older and start going to bed earlier i ll miss being pinned under a sleeping baby as i say it s my excuse not to take out trash or fold laundry it s violet s time with mama plus i ve read some really great books so there s a personal satisfaction to this whole tradition too it s mama s time with mama but confession remember all that whining and crying i did before i put the shackles of the working world back around my ankles all that carrying on never see my babies stuff well if i stumbled on a winning lottery ticket tomorrow i d yelp in joy at getting the freedom of choice back but i might not walk away from work completely might that might comes easily because i know i will never ever be in that position my lottery tickets tend to be more in the 0 to 2 range on the winning scale but also because i feel like i have a balance however precarious it is with my temporary mondays free and my four full days at work i m not thinking about the five day weeks coming up or the money i m missing by only working four days a week i just think i ll never regret not working more now i would regret not being here with you we sat outside on the deck today mama mondays and your sister pointed out airplanes over our heads bound for airventure and i plopped your chubby legs into the exersaucer and you grabbed for the buttons that turn on the music one why must every toy play tinny versions of bach and beethoven why i demand to know who thought that was a good idea and two i didn t know you had the dexterity to do anything but flop around in the exersaucer s seat i gasped and snapped a dozen photos as proof that it s all going to be over so fast thrilling and sad all at once love mama she s a poseur july 26 2010 posted by erin f wasinger in being a mama add a comment vi yit s bell button yes that s violet s belly button i said as alice jammed her pinky into her sister s stomach while i was changing violet s diaper i m sorry violet baby cuckoo have bell button she pointed to the stomach on her unfortunately named doll yes i m sure baby cuckoo has a belly button and mama yes mama has a ok yes there now you see it great that s my belly button it looks different from yours because i had two babies she let my shirt back down note to self teach modesty next week alcie have two babies too alcie have big bell button alice said lifting up her shirt uhhh wow two babies your abs look fantastic what s your secret you know my name look up the number july 22 2010 posted by erin f wasinger in being a mama add a comment actually we re not in the phone book that s a reference to one of my greatest accomplishments tonight as alice and i were giving violet a bath i started singing the beatles you know my name because nothing says retro indie hip like bathing your baby alice said no mama alcie do and i was so flabbergasted by the lyrics coming out of her mouth correctly that i let the attitude slide by more proof that i m teaching her less of the stuff she should be learning and more of the stuff i want to crowd her little brain with teaching the real life skills i confidently said i d take my kids back to ohio for a a palooza reunion my family throws but then i gave birth to a second child and whimpered a little bit at all the fun i m pretty sure i m going to be missing an eight hour drive becomes an eternity when kids are in the car that s a fact this two kids thing is kicking my yeah july 21 2010 posted by erin f wasinger in being a mama 1 comment so far i had it all under control dishes laundry junk mail collections it was all under control for about two hours on monday today after the baby was up last night three times for reasons only god knows and after a full day at work and after alice refused to have anything to do with me because i m mean mama and dad is fun and he can flip her upside down and he needs 17 kisses before he leaves for the second half of his shift yay daddy after that i just can t just can t go on and it s only wednesday two kids is one relentless drooling often whining chubby cheeked monster if i had the strength to do a dramatic collapse and if i weren t currently pinned under a baby dozing in my arms i d be laying face first on the floor nose in the carpet sleeping the deepest sleep one could ever imagine and i d wake up in february if not for that nagging sense of ugh love and ugh extreme homesickness when i m apart from them i d be signing the hotel bill right now in some other state that motherhood it s a sticky thing look at those eyes sigh she s got me right where she wants me the little booger some discord among the siblings july 19 2010 posted by erin f wasinger in being a mama kind of unreasonable 3 comments some strange sticky yellowish green substance had dripped along the top shelf in the fridge all the way to the back down underneath the bottom drawers that hold our yogurts and apple sauce cups i don t eat green things i don t drink green things i m not really sure what it was but perhaps lemonade but we haven t had lemonade since uh we had that party in august 2008 and i m quite sure i ve cleaned the fridge out since then right uh awkward silence anyhow today i said well there s no time like today to clean up the mess that i ve been wiping at with paper towels and cleaning off the bottoms of milk jugs for at least violet s entire life yes look at me go violet was sleeping in the swing alice was talking to sesame street on the tv i got a bucket of warm soapy water and started pulling out items from the shelves and wiping up crumbs and feeling very hints from heloise and accomplished on my happy little monday off work but then violet woke up and i had to stop and feed her babies are such a drag man and alice wanted apple juice now and i had many small toddler emotional fires to put out smoke still lingering in the air figuratively i put a happy violet on a blanket in front of the tv which you re not supposed to do tv makes babies stupid but i had a strange green sticky substance in my fridge and i needed elmo s help alice yanked her baby stroller from its place in the corner and put baby cuckoo inside and as i dashed into the kitchen i thought i had five maybe seven minutes to work with i was just removing a shelf from its hooks in the fridge when i heard the scream that can only mean a i m in a great deal of pain or b wolves have broken in and they re lookin hungry mama and luckily for me because mr big was nowhere to be found to toss for bait it was the former from my baby my baby i dropped the shelf on the ground and did the most graceful flying leap over the pile of pickle jars and ketchup bottles and leftover containers on the floor to run at olympic speed to the living room where alice was standing frozen in place her stroller on my baby ok on is a little misleading it wasn t like on her head but its front two wheels were clearly touching violet s no poor defenseless violet s head and belly and alice was just frozen what did you do i yelled to alice the little traitor the little booger who d all violet s life been nothing if not gentle with violet except for that time she dropped the toy piano on violet but i would ve until this moment called that an unfortunate toddler s misjudgment of spacial relationships alice jerked from her oh shit stance and backed away from my red faced and gasping baby did you hurt violet clearly i had the screaming answer in my arms as i tried to survey the damages visions of an er visit ran through my mind was it her kidney did alice ram her hard enough for there to be internal bleeding how will i explain this to my mother time out you need a time out i said and alice nodded and sat on the couch willingly scared i think at both my all capital letters and of violet s reaction to a little friendly nudge with the stroller seething i was seething positively fuming violet s head and belly are fine and judging by her smiles she s going to survive her injuries but jeez jeez poor little violet who did nothing but lay there and love her sister and smile and kick her chubby little legs and flail her little arms anyhow the take home lesson is this you know that time you asked your mom whether she liked one of her kids more than another and she told you in a falsetto no absolutely not don t be silly she was lying observations on how old these kids are getting july 15 2010 posted by erin f wasinger in being a mama the baby toddling it add a comment she started singing the abcs mostly correctly l m n o p becomes applebees though we never eat there just out of the blue a b c d f geeeee she sang one second she was stuffing blueberries into her mouth the next her voice pierced through my heart with her confidence in her attempt and colors she knows a few of them alcie www eeear boooo shirt mama wwww eeear pritty dress she says when i shut the hair dryer off in the morning mama www eeear peenk shirt sob and this one this one sits in the bumbo and laughs silently at the three of us eating our dinner around her her eyes lock onto alice the second violet registers alice s voice in her little ears the pile of outgrown clothes that need to be put in the closet whenever i get a second or 60 so in 2014 grows beside her dresser faster than i can emotionally handle never seeing these tiny itsy clothes again til that garage sale i m daydreaming about i mean her clothes have little smiling elephants and sunshines and polka...