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Text of the page (random words):
er rn er rn welcome to the crazy world of er nursing the stories that come out of the er can make you laugh make you cry and make you pissed sometimes all at the same time er rn s are a special breed and i do believe we all lean a little bit toward the insane side of reality come in kick up your feet and prepare to be astounded by what your fellow humans do tuesday april 02 2013 night shift in the nether regions it s 0300 on a sunday nocshift in bfe i am surrounded by the tick tick tick of the second hand as it wraps it s way around to 12 again i start to understand why the psych hold room doesn t have a clock the er is empty and i am trying to catch up on the latest issue of people magazine nursing 2013 as my eyelids drift closer and closer to touching my cheek finds a new home in a puddle of drool and a slick magazine page i hear the swish of the automatic doors and i instantly jerk upward almost toppling my chair in the process housekeeping has arrived for linen restocking i wipe the slimy wetness off my cheek with the back of my hand and then wonder if i remembered to wash my hands after i cleaned the diarrhea off the edge of the stretcher in room 3 shrugging my shoulders i step over to the back counter and guzzle down the remainder of my hot diet coke from 3 hours ago sally from housekeeping is looking at me with a wary eye i think i may look a slight bit possessed she shuffles off into the ortho room to restock the closet and then disappears dr q is nowhere to be found i assume he has hit the sleep room with his blankie and a good book i wonder why the doctors get to sleep during their 12 hour shift but the nurses do not it seems like a slightly unfair working condition and i ponder staging a sleep in to alert administration to the needs of the nursing staff this thought is quickly discarded as i realize i drooled all over dwayne johnson s face in the magazine poor guy i haven t had a patient in 3 hours three hours that have passed over what feels like a solid month long stretch wandering slowly from room to room i straighten linens restock cupboards and organize the cords hanging off all the cardiac monitors my muscles ache with fatigue and i feel like i am walking through the sludge of slowly drying concrete it crosses my mind for the 5000th time that evening that i hate working night shift and will never volunteer for one again i sit back down at the desk and stare aimlessly into space my mouth hanging half open and my arms flopped at my sides i wish i had something to do i say to the walls never wish for something to do in an er seriously i am started out of my zombie like state by the ems tones head on collision on state route 48 2 victims multiple injuries and so it begins posted by julie at 9 11 pm no comments labels bfe i need to sleep night shift wednesday november 21 2012 how not to date a nurse i was told the other day that i was a hot little redhead and i might have to come to the er more often to see you crickets ummmm please don t i believe that the furrowed brow and look of incredible disgust on my face was an appropriate reaction or maybe it was the fact that he had just thrown up all over my scrubs and the smell of alcohol drifting off his body put him at a probable 30 on the etoh scale seriously people don t hit on your er nurse unless you are the rock and newly single it just isn t going to go your way we know everything about you everything that is important anyway such as your history of herpes and your habit of frequently using a few too many of your monthly supply of oxycodone my nursing career has surprisingly put me in the path of many romantic opportunities what is it about you men and the fascination with nurses i ve even been proposed to the reality is that it is completely unethical to date a patient i won t sit here and tell you i have never been tempted but i can say i have never acted on that temptation i may have the wind knocked right out of me when i walk in a room and lay eyes on my patient and stammer like a school girl but i won t ever hit on that patient i may enjoy the view and the interaction but that s it i ve heard of some nurses who cross that line and it makes me very uncomfortable these people are vulnerable while they are under our care i feel like those nurses may be taking advantage of that situation now if you run into them at the grocery store a year later well posted by julie at 9 26 pm 4 comments sunday april 15 2012 alaska how i love thee i miss alaska i want to move back i want to move back and spend the rest of my life in that gorgeous beautiful state i lived in sitka during my formative years and i still call it home therefore i ve been perusing every hospital website in the great state of alaska over the last week or so choices choices choices how about suggestions posted by julie at 7 28 pm 7 comments labels alaska saturday january 21 2012 sp vs bsi i got into an argument today with a medic on an internet board i know i know you don t have to say it regarding the terms sp vs bsi she was insistent and i mean name calling snarling spitting vulgarity insistent that we must must must use the term bsi for body substance isolation and that the term sp standard precautions went out with the dinosaurs and rn s are incompetent killers if they continue to use the term sp so minus all the emotional rhetoric what say you guys i had never been exposed to the term bsi at least in any way that stuck into my brain as being a requirement for use we ve used sp forevah go sp i looked up the cdc guidelines from 2007 admittedly but the bsi were from 1987 so which is more current and they can be found here cdc guidelines 1987 bsi outdated 1996 standard precautions into favor wtf am i missing here is this just a medic vs rn thing is it an unstable mental person her or me who knows argument on the interwebz the term truly doesn t matter i know it s the idea of providing barrier protection between potential infectious agents for pt care provider but damnit i wanna know what you all think so lay it on me posted by julie at 11 16 am 14 comments labels body substance isolation medic vs rn standard precautions universal precautions people do amazing things yo see you cannot make this shit up man shoots nail into his brain posted by julie at 12 08 am 1 comment saturday december 31 2011 i am the patient and not a very good one either i have found out that i am the type of patient i want to punch in the face seriously i have issues i broke my ankle after christmas i knew it as soon as i stepped my foot wrong on the step and rolled my ankle 180 degrees i mean i instantly knew it was fractured i heard a pop felt a crunch and lost my balance then i proceeded to fall down the next 3 steps in front of my 13 year old child it was awesome i could not believe how much it hurt holy balls batman i needed to puke hyperventilate and scream mother fucking fucker of all that is fucked what the fucking fuck ahhhhhh all at the same time my poor child was standing there with her hand over her mouth unsure on if she should laugh cry or tell me to shut up because i was embarrassing her my bet is the latter my mother came running down the stairs after me screaming i m calling 911 i m calling 911 now let s talk about my mother she s a bit um how do you say it hystri fucking onic i had to catch my breath and tell her if she called 911 i d have to cut a bitch there is no way in hell i m letting my ems coworkers come pick me up they d probably get me naked and stick a rectal tube in or somethin just sayin my mother backs the car up into the driveway almost taking out my head in the process thank god my 13 year old has the reflexes of a cat and knows how to scream stop in 0 25 seconds and i manage to pull myself up into the passenger seat i do believe the neighbors got quite an eyeful of my ass in the air while i was crawling into the seat too i ve always wanted to be in the annual neighborhood block party slide show i figure they can use the pictures of my ass for that away we go to the hospital my first thought as mark came out the door was oh shit he s the best nurse we have but he s also ron white on crack i was going to be spending the next 2 hours with a jacked up jokester who would hit on my mother even if she was 85 years old and using a walker mark helped me out of the car into a wheelchair and rolled me back to the exam room i was sobbing like a 3 year old who got her barbie stolen from her seriously i could not control myself it was like something possessed me and would not let me stop crying what the fuck i don t cry i just don t i mean unless i am pissed off and thinking of killing you or frustrated because you are being an asshole and i can t punch you in the face otherwise i don t cry except for this time apparently i think mark was wondering who the hell i was he looked at me like i was an alien with 3 heads he was not used to seeing me act like i even remotely had a heart i think i shocked him into silence until i cried out between snot rags oh god i haven t shaved my legs mark laughed and then shoved a big ass needle into my vein followed by some morphine that i m sure he was using to shut me up i mean really 12 mg of morphine for a little fracture it couldn t have had anything to do with the fact that i kept asking for just a couple more milligrams mark i was just trying to maintain a 0 pain level right i know you all know what i m talking about especially you haters who bitch me out every time i post about drug seekers anyway mark was awesome as always even though i whined like a baby the entire time i was there they got me splinted gave me some percocet and sent me on my merry way i go in for casting on monday hopefully then i can bear a little weight on my leg living on crutches and being non weight bearing this past week has sucked balls it s hard to get around with metal extensions attached to you so i lift my crutches to all you people out there happy new year may you enjoy and injury free 2012 posted by julie at 10 25 pm 8 comments sunday september 26 2010 yeah whatever seriously it s hard to keep up with this blogging thing i m ready to throw in the towel i keep making promises and never following through kinda like and addict maybe i should find a new habit so i will make no promises nor will i say i will even try to keep up but if something strikes my fancy you may find it on here or my coworkers may just hear about it at work we shall see we shall see posted by julie at 5 38 pm 5 comments tuesday march 16 2010 rural er it s a totally different world out here in the the boondocks lab and xray have to drive in from home the doc is probably at the playoff basketball game and you just had someone pull up to the er with an unconscious cowboy in the back of their pickup who got thrown off his horse oh and the next closest hospital is 2 hours away in fact the next town is 2 hours away across the barren land of desolation now it s just you and lucy for the next 20 minutes just you and lucy 2 nurses alone in the world can you hear the violins playing no admitting clerk to register them no scribe to write what happens ems is out on a call 40 minutes from town your cna is elbow deep in diarrhea and falling old people what do you do a quit b pop some vicodin and go to sleep c throw out a few good fuck shits and damn its d grab lucy slap her across the face and tell her this is it it s now or never e wonder why you ever applied to work at this damn facility anyway f curl up in the fetal position and cry like a baby g get to work ummm do i have to answer posted by julie at 8 52 pm 9 comments labels frontier medicine rural emergency care rural er rural nursing older posts home subscribe to posts atom obligatory disclaimer obviously i will maintain all confidentiality in my posts if you think you recognize a story as your own or someone in your friends lovers pets uncle s third cousin once removed s family you are absolutely incorrect a post may reflect single stories or a compilation of attitudes and commentary word for word conversational authenticity is not guaranteed as i do not have a photographic memory and sometimes can t remember what my doc said to me 5 minutes ago much less 5 months ago you re lucky if i even edit to take my typos out so take that and swallow it with an ice cold diet coke enjoy oh and these opinions are my own and do not reflect in any way shape or form those of my employers past present or future about me julie expanding my horizons gaining knowledge having way too much fun along the way i am a complete and total smart ass who loves dirty jokes view my complete profile stat counter see who is visiting me blog archive 2013 1 april 1 night shift in the nether regions 2012 4 november 1 april 1 january 2 2011 1 december 1 2010 12 september 1 march 1 february 1 january 9 2009 28 november 3 october 4 september 1 august 1 july 4 june 2 may 4 march 3 february 2 january 4 2008 58 november 4 october 3 september 3 august 4 july 9 april 1 march 14 february 10 january 10 2007 52 december 14 november 17 october 6 september 4 may 2 april 2 march 2 february 4 january 1 2006 18 december 3 november 3 october 2 september 1 august 1 june 1 april 1 march 1 january 5 2005 1 december 1 partners on the streets police and firefighter blogs officer smith cop n attitude if you get stopped you deserved it in the bay ems blogs a day in the life of an ambulance driver crusty ambulance driver drug induced hallucinations ems haiku happy medic mm we got a bleeder street watch notes of a paramedic trauma queen behind the double doors nurse blogs angry nurse crass pollination an er blog crzegrl diary of a trauma nurse dust in the wind mama mia ednurseasauras emergiblog ernursey guitargirlrn head nurse life according to candice madness tales of an emergency room nurse medical mission mel s blog musing of a highly trained monkey nurse ratched s place tales from a bohemian road nurse trauma diva weird nursing tales the waiting room non medical blogs but damn good reads pulsipher predilections coal creek farm funny funny funny stuff overheard in pdx cranky epistles sweat pants mom busy mom snazzy like cotton candy great girly artwork you re boring me the t dude the doctor s lounge a surgeon s letters home from iraq mdod suburban emergency tales from the emergency room and beyond ten out of ten from an er doc awesome inc theme powered by blogger