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apparently on christmas all nicaraguans return home bearing ginormous amounts of luggage and a million obnoxious backpackers descend on the country smelling like weed between those two groups and my long sleeved shirt no visible tattoos check brown hair check i snuck through customs without having to even open my bags let alone flash the world vets letter thus i emerged from the airport bleary eyed and dazed for some reason copa does not allow people to sleep on it s red eyes every two hours i would get shaken awake and offered a beverage or a tray of flat unrecognizable food managua airport seems to have paved the runway a bit better but costena still has the same plane it was parked on the runway covered in the same old bondo but resplendent in a new paint job priorities people i m so glad i don t have to get on that damn thing again outside the usual crush of taxi drivers and family reunions was taking place and then there was that smell that wonderful awesome only nicaragua smell that made me want to lean down and lick the pavement someone needs to make a nicaragua scented air freshener for people like me preferably the same people who make the toilet terror deodorizer so i can stop explaining to americans that there really is a product called toilet terror in central america and it s not something for your gi tract let s feed the cats before they overthrow us i am standing there sweating buckets in my california weather appropriate jeans and sweatshirt and looking for the blue beast donna s monster toyota truck that i ve spent so much time riding in the back of when i see her sans vehicle walking towards me on the pavement there is a hug a declaration that she has to piss and that there is a new truck over across the street and then we re hauling my enormous bootleg flea control stuffed bag over the sidewalk and into the truck and then we re passing pharaoh s the crappy casino i always use as a landmark for the road home to granada and we re on our way back if i haven t told you how much i love donna s house i love donna s place i love the murals on the outside walls love the crush of her pets that form a caterwauling staring horde when they hear the front gate creak open love the guest place in back where i can spy on the neighbors while i shower donna herself has new beasts there are a bunch of new cats the remnants of abandoned litters she found homes for rafael a silly low riding clown of a basset mix that was machete d but now looks worse from a bad hair cut than from than the scars don vito an ancient one eyed medium black dog who just squeezed through the gate one day helped himself to food in the kitchen and never left xena a gentle laid back shepherd mix who i ve known forever now older she occasionally nips at the cats if they screw with her and growls at rafael and chinga don t look up what that means in spanish a bossy tail less old lady who yodels psychotically whenever donna leaves her sight new mural on casa del donna some of the cats fixed and flea treated don t have names so i set to naming them donna might be the only person in the world who appreciates my names bitchy cat a sweet calico that beats holy hell out of the other cats uno one of a trio of orange cats who turned up on her porch is the only friendly orange the other two i name dos and dos y media because they re so damn skittish they re not even like having two separate cats terrifying 20 ft puppet killed by karaoke more difficult to love the art warehouse across the street that makes enormous fucking creepy puppets and has now started a karaoke lounge scattered in the road are the detritus of fifteen foot heads and crumpled bodies at night a man sings celine dion in spanish with wavering vibrato through what has to be largest amplifier in freakin nicaragua while donna screams shut the fuck up you assholes okay i lied i actually dig that at home noise drives me nuts here not so much nicaragua is the loudest country in the world unencumbered by adequate mufflers motorcycles shriek by car horns are employed constantly and with joyful abandon the advertisement trucks circle blaring gallo mas gallo ads for electronics on a thirty second loop people yell in the streets and five hundred stereos compete for attention roosters crow and dogs bark and everything is so hopelessly vitally alive and kicking there is a new truck a new set of sarna dogs five in total living at the clinic and a whole shit ton of new developments more on that later big old wonkin thank you to berger for the worldvets letter gallo mas gallo is a chain of electronics stores down here translate the name hours of mirth ensue donna feeding casa lupita s class of 2014 posted by finn dowling at 8 20 pm no comments friday september 25 2009 watch this space the laptop is toast it s cobbled together enough that i am trying to rescue some of the corn island entries and photos i have on it and post them this weekend i m trying my damndest to endure the constant freezing up and powering itself off at inopportune times to get the entries up i am also spending a shit ton of money on coffeehouse diet cokes as i had this brilliant idea that i would have my wireless turned off so i wouldn t spend so much time in my abysmal dungeon of an apartment but expect me to vomit up at least one semi pertinent entry by sunday night or else everyone can hunt me down and kill me preferably by beating me to death with this shitbox of a laptop in the meantime though i offer a really unflattering self portrait of me exhausted in the la colonia parking lot in granada on this last trip observe donna yelling at someone in the background and this gem the corpse of an enormous tarantula in the same la colonia parking lot which is why i m sitting on my ass in the car taking useless pictures while donna loads the bags into the truck that fucker is huge when i pointed it out to donna she waved it off and said cheerfully oh they just fall off the bananas sometimes thus insuring i would not eat bananas or shop in that la colonia while in granada pali might be a dingy shithole but it doesn t have fruit infested with hairy monstrous spiders this is the sort of thing i take photos of posted by finn dowling at 9 40 pm 2 comments labels don t eat the bananas really unflattering photos scary ass spiders snowshoes thank god for that baggage handler eye stuff my friend karen gave me yelling donna sunday june 28 2009 a granada interlude the run up to bondo planes and boats from hell i mentioned before that there were going to be some entries out of order stuff i started writing before i left for the islands that didn t make it up before the laptop bit it slowly but surely i m dissecting the corpse of said laptop and picking out those pieces so there will be some backing and forthing chronology wise salon letty is always busy it s on the corner of martirio one block over from one of the cathedrals and it s very nicaraguan in that everything you get done there takes forever a manicure and pedicure can easily take an hour and a half not including the wait a trim takes thirty or forty minutes letty has three or four women working for her at any given time but if you go in on a saturday you re going to wait a long time that said she has the best eyebrow waxers in the world in the us i pay 12 for a mediocre waxer at letty s i pay 2 50 and i love letty s i love letty herself a woman with a shock of blonde shakira curls and an hourglass figure who wears the tightest jeans in the universe and four inch heels and always talks with her hands gesturing with a brush or a blow dryer to make a point about someone s husband or what the neighbor did salon letty is what american beauty parlors probably were like in the 50 s stuffed with women everyone talking with their hands and bitching about their husbands it s crowded and a little dark and the shelves are full of odd dusty items and old mannequin heads but it s perfect when i wake up on my first morning in nicaragua i run some errands walk around and then go to salon letty i let my eyebrows get fuzzy just so they should re shape them as always it s packed tonight is the hipica i ll find out later so there are more people in there than usual when i walk in letty recognizes me which makes me absurdly happy during the two hour wait i people watch there s a woman everyone is fussing over she has three people working on her one on her nails one on her hair and one brushing eyeshadow on her and filling her brows with pencil she s obviously nicaraguan but she speaks flawless unaccented english with her teenage daughter and effortless spanish with the women working on her both she and her daughter have the fair skinned delicate spanish features of the upper class and they re both beautiful it s the nicaraguan version of the beckhams she holds court while they fuss over her talking to her daughter to letty to the other women in the shop they ve made her a little throne moved a comfortable chair to the middle of the room though she looks haughty with her chiseled features and the ease with which she receives their ministrations her ability to read a magazine while they brush gloss on her narrow lips she s not she chats and gossips like everyone else i m fascinated by her and enormously curious as to who she might be to receive this treatment when they finish with her she is flawless her bob cut swinging sleek and thick to her chin her make up understated and perfect there s no evidence of the central american penchant for kohl rimmed eyes and bright pink lips she looks like she just walked off fifth avenue as she walks out she stops examines my leg san judas she says bella beautiful over the next two days i notice that somehow st jude has changed my image whereas before i would just get stares and maybe some comments from men and the occasional undercurrent of hostility and suspicion from women tattooed women in nica are either prostitutes or gangsters but good old san judas tadeo has made me approachable women come up and ask about it buen suerte good luck old women come up to me in the market and pat my hands even the salon women her retinue of drivers waiting outside stops to put her hand on mine and beam bella muy bien st jude is the patron of lost causes si do with that what you will saturday morning i get up early i don t realize it s early my cell phone can t get in touch with the universal clock so when i look it s says 12 i think i slept until noon it s only when i power up my laptop at euro café that i realize it s 8 am and i had just eaten asian noodle salad for breakfast go me it feels odd and good to be back almost like i never left at euro cafe the owner recognizes me and we chat for a bit walking down to the market the hisses and whistles start if you re easily offended don t go to central america it s just white noise i don t even really hear it halfway back to the house i register something going on behind me a hey but i don t even turn around until someone grabs my arm i turn around to raise holy hell and it s oscar my old neighbor i didn t know if it was you he tells me then i saw your arm we hug catch up on the neighbors everyone who s lived in the house since our group has been lame the secret bakery is still there no one hears from alan i promise to stop by when we get back from corn islands he thinks my spanish is better it s not i just can t ask jon or linda to translate for me in the square i run into julio who lives with thalia and we chat for a bit sunday donna saves me from hospedaje ruiz which is nice but loud and the cobweb population is starting to freak me out either there s spiders in there somewhere lots of them from the amount of webs or the whole place has been sprayed with industrial strength bug poison i move into her upstairs the new improved casa lupita bring on the falling horses this is the corn islands line up dr tom who i ve worked with since my first stint at casa lupita and who is the home vet he has a house in granada and comes often i think he helped found the clinic dr terry who has a house in san juan del sur i ve worked with her before there are pictures of her on older entries dr dave who looks familiar and is from rural area vet service in the us dr s kathy and andrea from world vets the other dr cathy meg a vet student from georgia claudio who runs the clinic in granada and lives above it he doesn t do surgeries but he and heidi see animals every thursday there andrea who volunteers with another program a school i think and got pressed into service when heidi found out she couldn t go norman the other dr kathy s eighteen year old nephew who seems determined to kill poor claudio by dragging him out to the bars every night me sunday the vet group returns from a clinic in san juan del sur and we meet to pack for corn islands i am blown away by the clinic despite having been in regular contact with donna she s neglected to tell me that they ve moved the school that was there to the old café chavalos building and the clinic has expanded to fill the whole space what was the school room is now an exam room the old clinic is now just for surgeries and it s beautiful shockingly amazingly awesomely fantastic the wall of kennels formerly just cement are lined with ceramic tiles not only better looking but able to be sterilized the back porch where the kids gathered for outdoor classes is lined with kennels it looks like an actual genuine animal hospital i could cry claudio is living upstairs and he keeps the yard spotless to everyone who has sent donations from this blog they were used and used well we are so far from my first days in the clinic with the one table and a few supplies and me trying not to barf in the garbage can under the table we pack and chat a bit i fold and tape drapes in the old surgery room with the techs in the next room the vets and claudio put duffel bags on scales and pack them as full as they can the costena planes to the island are small everything will be weighed as it goes on things are put in bags pulled out rearranged everyone buzzes working well together the san juan trip was a good dry run the group stayed in a house together worked the kinks out of the system i was sorry i couldn t arrive in time for it tom has built portable surgery tables ingenious creations of pvc pipe and canvas they are set up cleaned knocked down and bagged so very far away from the first days after we pack for a while we decide to take a break walk out to calzada and watch the hipica hipicas are a huge deal in nicaragua and granada has one of the biggest the horses haven t started marching yet and already the streets are jammed with everyone granada and managua folk in their finery like the woman from salon letty and a million trendy young adults sweltering in polo shirts in the heat the campesinos in to see the show wearing denim slighter statured and darkened from the sun everyone is wearing cowboy hats shiny glitzy ones on the city peo...