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ed me with anti symptomatic medicines instead and asked me to come back on thursday on my way home i stopped by mercury drug to buy my medicines i also stopped by a carenderia to eat i was so hungry i ordered the first thing i saw fried bangus with black beans while i was eating an old woman sat near me and started chatting she said her secret to old age is malunggay and told everyone there that it s reason she hasn t gone sick ever she claimed that malunggay has like seven times more vitamin c than a whole orange what made me almost jump off my seat was when she announced loudly that if people with hiv will realize the power of malunggay they ll significantly improve their resistensya wtf really it came out of nowhere look i don t believe in the supernatural this is definitely supernatural an old woman almost gypsy ish suddenly talking about the wisdom and power of malunggay and its effect on hiv what are the chances of me being there i suddenly felt something cold running down my spine and got some goosebumps i had the feeling that she was actually talking to me just me i finished eating paid my bill and got out right away i didn t even look back it felt so weird my mom also loves malunggay i remember she would force it down my throat when i was a kid i hated the bitter shit and i didn t care about the miraculous things she would tell me about the herb but now when i come to think about it my mom hasn t gotten sick save for that day she fainted when she found out i smoke is this a sign maybe i should stop being such a hard headed kid and should start listening to the elderly i am sick and desperate if someone would tell me that i should climb mt apo and drink from a magic spring on its peak i would maybe as simple as eating malunggay isn t that bad at all it s funny when you think about it but what is there to lose posted by fishinthepacific at 9 29 pm 1 comment tuesday may 4 2010 a new lesson learned it s very long day today but i m too tired to go through the details anymore i m even too tired to write another hundred words anyway here s a recap of what happened today 1 went to the hills for my consultation i was informed last week to come a little earlier than lunch time 2 disappointed ate a was not there the opd was full so i had to tell kuya r what my agenda were right away 3 was told to wait at the lounge until 2pm for the doctor 4 the lounge was packed with people from various provinces all were told to wait until 2pm 5 chit chat with everyone while watching showtime and wowowee 6 found out that almost everyone is new in various stages of newness wow so many batchmates some are really cute too bad the cutest was already taken 7 atty a met him last month through a poz friend arrived at 2pm and brought some luscious moist chocolate cakes they were delicious umandar pagka pg ko i had three slices lol 8 we were asked to go to the opd for our consultation only to find out that dr d wasn t around wtf 9 we all went back to the lounge to complain to ate e who at once went looking for an available doctor she did find one but she told me that i had to see dr d instead for arv enrollment she asked me if i were ready i said yes i have to come back some other time maybe a few weeks from now 10 i learned a new lesson today i should call the hills first before going there again or else i would just be wasting my time and effort if it weren t for the new friends i met it would have been a complete waste of time posted by fishinthepacific at 7 18 pm 4 comments thursday april 29 2010 my lucky number i ve just came back from a much needed vacation for a few days i made my life feel like the old days i wished i could just stay there in paradise and escape from reality but then i reminded myself that i have to face this challenge life is not all about sitting by the sandy beach sipping glasses of banana shakes i know it s going to be a bumpy road up ahead but maybe just maybe i can still avoid the potholes if i am going to be careful today i went to the hills again i ve only realized now that going there is kind of stressful i work during the day mondays to fridays which means that i have to find another excuse to file another leave of absence every time i go there i really hate not going to work but i also hate getting sick often so i have to make a few sacrifices either i don t show up at work sometimes or i don t show up at work often i was thankful ate a was there she s one of the friendliest people i know it was a busy day at the hills today no less than five pozzies were there and she attended to us all two were there to get their supplies of darna pills one was having rashes just like me more than a week ago one was feverish due to the darna pills he took another was a very old lady complaining about her darna pills getting lost in transit by fedex and another one was just there selling some handbags to another lady pozzie almost everyone was accompanied by their real moms while the lola was accompanied by her apo i almost cried at the thought that i went there by myself but no i have to stop being such a whiny kid the reason my mom was not with me was because of my decision not to disclose it to her the rashes kid s mom looked at me and smiled she looked really worried and started talking about how her son ate a can of spam last night i told her that i had the same rashes a week ago and they re all gone now thanks to the anti histamine the derma prescribed me i then assured her not to worry much because the rashes look like they re just allergies and i told her son not to scratch them no matter what meanwhile the lola was on the phone talking to a fedex guy she was mad because according to her she hasn t taken her meds for three days because of the delay in delivering them to her place she then gave the fedex guy some directions and put down the phone i m amazed at how healthy looking she was yes she is really old probably more than 65 years old and living with hiv she has been so for almost two decades now wow what an inspiration finally it was my turn with ate a and she told me about my results my lucky number is 338 a friend already texted it to me yesterday though so i wasn t surprised anymore that s a bit short so that means that i am now a candidate for arvs the x ray says i ve got a normal chest whew i ve got no syphilis yey my overall cbc s looking good amen no tb exposure i already know about that but then i knew there was going to be a catch i am also positive for another sti hbv transmission and the works are all the same as hiv s but it eats my liver instead which means no more alcohol for me from now on ate a sent me to the laboratory right away so i could have my hepa profiling it s pretty much the package i ve got and i think it s not that bad at all posted by fishinthepacific at 8 49 pm 3 comments monday april 19 2010 weekend panic last weekend i went out of town i needed to see at least a change of scenery so when a friend from the office invited me and some other officemates to her provincial home i took that as an invitation for myself to relax and breathe some fresh air yes the scenery was of course green the air was fresh except in the sugar fields where the soil was mixed with cow dung the food was unlimited and free it was the perfect weekend but of course things don t always go according to plans i forgot that the countryside is also full of insects outside my friend s house insects were all over the place i got stung and bitten everywhere while were all having fun i was kinda praying that no mosquito with dengue or malaria would bite me the other thing is the knee high grass my god a few seconds in the field and i felt already itchy everywhere i m not being maarte but i still have to go the beach the next weekend who d want to wear long sleeved shirts and jeans on the beach to cover the bite and grass itch ridden skin so i wasn t really having fun at all i asked one of my friends to accompany me back to the house because i badly needed a shower i checked myself in the mirror and god it wasn t looking good i hoped that the itch would go away so i wouldn t accidentally scratch the bite marks and do more damage the shower helped somehow and i felt relieved my friend s mom already served dinner and i ate right away after i showered and changed clothes the food was really good especially the paksiw na galonggung after i finished one fish i felt itchy again but i was enjoying the food so i somehow didn t mind the itch at all the next morning when i checked myself in the mirror i was already full of rashes and scratch marks they look really nasty my skin are full of tiny red rashes with red scratch marks on top of them i panicked i became really worried what if these weren t actually bite marks what if these are symptoms of another opportunistic disease i wanted to go back to manila right away but of course i couldn t because we d only go back later in the afternoon the day went by with me pretending i was enjoying everything we were doing but in fact not it was already 7pm when i arrived home too late to go looking for a dermatologist i became really paranoid but the trip going home made me very tired that i was able to sleep right away i woke up very early the next morning today packed a few things and i headed to the hills when i arrived at the hills i immediately went looking for ate a but unfortunately today s her day off kuya r was there and he checked my ppd skin test and declared it negative indeed the patch of skin where the ppd skin test was injected has no sign of being positive dr d also checked it and said it was negative i am thankful i have no tuberculosis and i am glad but i was still worried about my rashes ate e told me that hiv positive patients have to wait until 2pm for derma i texted my office that i couldn t make it to work because i ve got some allergies which they ve actually noticed the day before so i waited at the lounge two guys who are living with hiv for the past 12 years were there and they interviewed me they managed to make me cry when they told me that i should tell my parents i really want to tell my parents but i can t that s another story though at 2pm ate r accompanied me to the dermatology building the doctors were having a party so i waited until like 4pm the doctor asked me to strip down and she checked on the rashes carefully which became redder with embarrassment she interviewed me about what i did what i ate what soap i use etc she then told me that the rashes were caused by an allergy i am relieved to find out that this is just an allergy and not some contagious disease well i really hope so and i hope that the medicine and the hypo allergenic lotion she prescribed me are going to be effective i really don t care anymore if i won t be showing off some skin on the beach this weekend i m just happy i m not sick again posted by fishinthepacific at 9 23 pm 3 comments friday april 16 2010 the hills i woke up very early today as a pozzie i think this is one of my biggest days go to the hills the hills is a place where pozzies go to have their vital statistics checked i was kinda stressed out thinking about all other illnesses i might have so a few minutes before meeting my mother who would accompany me to the hills i lit a cig oops mother isn t really my mom for pozzies the one who s gonna bring them to the hills supposedly becomes their mother it is a beautiful place a far cry from the third worldly setting of shc sorry i can t help comparing the two i immediately know why the picky beckies choose to go there when we arrived there the place was buzzing with many people it was almost 10am but ate a accommodated my request to be checked but she said i would have to be the last one for that day and for that i was very thankful more than the beautiful setting the hills is beautiful because of the beautiful people who made me feel i m gonna be okay i m forever grateful for the people who were there my mother and g i was also happy to meet new fellow pozzies who exude so much positive attitude in life i can t wait to go back there see my results and go on posted by fishinthepacific at 7 49 pm 5 comments tuesday march 30 2010 the box for the few weeks that i ve been waiting for my confirmatory result i have been somehow a bit hopeful after all the rapid test is only 95 accurate so for us optimistic mortals that remaining five percent is enough to push us to dream that once pandora s box is opened again it would somehow say please god non reactive but of course i have also remained positive that the rapid test was correct looking back at my life especially the sluttier parts of it i couldn t blame the damn result for crying it out loud at my face that i am reactive to anyone who actually knows me it would be more surprising if it says otherwise when ricky martin confessed today that he s a proud homosexual man did anyone get surprised i had slept with countless men since i was a teenager i get dizzy just by trying to remember them all i had sex everywhere anywhere and anytime to say that i am a whore is an understatement i was even proud of it because i didn t care and because i was such a sad insecure bitch every time a boyfriend leaves me i was very aware of the consequences but every time i m in the arms of a beautiful man i forget myself today i went to open pandora s box again honestly even after a few days of already accepting the fact i still felt fear albeit tiny but i was more peaceful i have already faced and forgave myself and promised not to screw it again this time no matter what the final results are there s always hope and it has always been in the box for anyone brave enough to open it so i opened it laughed and said i know right posted by fishinthepacific at 8 54 pm 5 comments sunday march 21 2010 goin bananas saw this posted somewhere and this is good news a study found out that lectins naturally occurring substances found in plants especially in bananas are just as potent as two current anti hiv drugs a friend wittily commented that bananas could indeed prevent hiv even if you don t eat it and guess what i think you can even have unprotected sex with bananas if you re really into it the next time you go to the supermarket don t forget to add bananas in your cart this is one thing we all have to include in our diet from now on click here for the full article bananas may prevent hiv posted by fishinthepacific at 7 07 pm no comments labels hope news research older posts home subscribe to posts atom about me fishinthepacific a new chapter of my life unfolds a fish alone in the ocean but not for long i wish to live my life to the fullest and see it from a positive point of view view my complete profile posts 2010 14 may 2 supernatural a new lesson learned april 3 march 9 readin lucky 13 the queen is back 11 years ago back in the closet ain t all that bad 12 years ago the not so talented delfin dj justiniano ocampo montano ii why the gays rule 13 years...