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Text of the page (random words):
en we worry we are often mentally living somewhere that does not yet exist we imagine a conversation and hear what the other person might say we picture ourselves failing at something we have not attempted or someone being disappointed in us we imagine a diagnosis loss rejection financial problem conflict or some other outcome we do not know will happen the imagined event may never occur but our minds and bodies can begin responding to it as though it already has our minds have the capacity to anticipate danger and that capacity can serve us well until it doesn t imagination helps us prepare plan solve problems and recognize risk but fear can recruit that same capacity and turn it into an endless attempt to create certainty where certainty is not possible a gift designed partly to help us recognize danger was never intended to be owned by fear id 152403951 hriana dreamstime com we are image bearers of the elohim who is love and his perfect love casts out fear if god is my refuge i do not need to know everything that will happen in order to be safe i do not need to mentally solve every possible future before it arrives i do not need to rehearse every possible conversation so that i will not be caught off guard i do not need certainty about tomorrow in order to trust the one who will be there when tomorrow comes if fear can use imagination to rehearse what might go wrong what might happen if we intentionally used it to rehearse courage trust growth and faithfulness instead as elul draws us toward the remembrance of creation it also invites us to look ahead and imagine what has not yet taken shape hope does that it reminds us that what is now is not all that can be elul guided reflection imagining the year ahead everything that is real was imagined first velveteen rabbit we cannot know or predict the future but we can become more intentional about what fills the unknown spaces in our minds fear is often quick to populate the future with loss failure rejection conflict and disappointment for this reflection rather than allowing fear to decide what you see begin from the knowledge that adonai is your refuge and that you are already deeply loved find a quiet place where you can think and write without rushing before answering anything take a moment to become aware of god s presence you might remember the picture traditionally associated with elul the king has come into the field you do not have to pass through palace walls or observe complicated protocols he meets you in the ordinary landscape of your life begin by looking back over the year with him consider the good the bad the difficult and the unfinished ask him to help you see the year through eyes of both truth and mercy what does he want you to recognize about the year you have lived is there anything that still requires teshuvah repair gratitude grief or release where can you now see growth that you may have overlooked while it was happening as you reflect remember that you do not have to perform for his love you cannot make him love you more by getting the next year right he is far more concerned with your relationship with him and how you love the people around you than with your performance the actions you have been trying so hard to master are meant to grow out of love not fear or worry now turn your attention toward the year ahead resist the urge to begin with everything you think you should accomplish instead become curious what would you love to be different a year from now or how would you like to be different don t think about whether your answer is realistic give yourself more possibilities than limitations then imagine an ordinary day in the future in which this change has begun to take root see your future self what is different when you wake up that morning what occupies your thoughts how are you carrying yourself how are you relating to adonai and to the people around you what are you doing differently what feels different within you now imagine encountering an ordinary challenge in that future a misunderstanding an unexpected change a mistake a delayed answer or a moment of uncertainty how does this version of you respond what strengths enable this response id 4824489 madartists dreamstime com this is one of imagination s most practical gifts we can mentally rehearse fear but we can also rehearse faithfulness we can imagine pausing before reacting speaking truthfully without becoming harsh setting a boundary without overexplaining resting without guilt or remaining grounded when we do not know what someone else is thinking then consider another question what would you love to experience more of in the coming year perhaps your answer is peace joy friendship intimacy with god creativity rest courage meaningful work adventure or deeper connection with the people you love perhaps there is something you would love to learn try create or explore for the moment do not explain why it could not happen discernment and practical planning will come later for now notice what becomes imaginable when fear is no longer directing the conversation then ask yourself who am i becoming do not answer with a role title achievement or list of goals consider the person taking shape beneath those things what would you like to become stronger in you what are you learning to release what do you want to believe more deeply how would you like to love differently what would greater trust in abba look like in your daily responses now bring what you have imagined into the present what is one small step i can take right now toward this future now faith is the substance of things hoped for the evidence of things not seen for by it the elders obtained a good testimony by faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of god so that the things which are seen were not made of things which are visible heb 11 1 3 nkjv elul is like a threshold in time the present now where we review the past and look forward to the future grounded and grateful for this moment what you imagined is neither a promise nor a prediction the coming year will contain things you cannot anticipate the year before us has not happened yet before fear fills that unknown space with everything that might go wrong or tells us what is and is not possible we can remember where our refuge is and allow ourselves to freely imagine from the place of love and faith what you imagine directly affects your perception and your behavior but it also substantially impacts your brain and your biology dr cassandra vieten imagine that transform how you think feel and live with the science of imagination further reflection when you feel unsafe where does your mind tend to run where would you rather it go name one way you can redirect wondering anxious thoughts what future have you been rehearsing what stories about your past or future does your mind imagine when you are ruminating or worrying what are you trying to prevent or protect yourself from if you knew that abba would be your refuge regardless of what has happened or might happen what would you no longer need to rehearse or worry about share this share on facebook opens in new window facebook share on pinterest opens in new window pinterest share on linkedin opens in new window linkedin share on x opens in new window x email a link to a friend opens in new window email print opens in new window print more share on tumblr opens in new window tumblr like loading categories ethics new moon tags cities of refuge elul future imagination king is in the field refuge sixth month 3 comments sacred pain the month of av 2026 posted on july 13 2026 by k gallagher grief is the one pain that heals all others it is the most important pain there is 1 dr henry cloud and dr john townsend av is a month of both grief and comfort it begins in the narrow place of the three weeks and carries us through tisha b av the great day of communal mourning over the destruction of the temples and other tragedies in jewish history the three weeks begin on the 17th of tammuz and culminate on the 9th of av a period often called bein hametzarim between the straits or between the narrow places we are not left with only grief in av it is also called menachem av meaning comforting father or father of comfort this gives the whole month a redemptive arc we do not enter grief to stay there we enter grief truthfully so comfort can be real and not merely cosmetic we all experience grief webster s 1828 dictionary defines grief as the pain of mind produced by loss misfortune injury or evils of any kind this pain can also come through sorrow regret and repentance when we recognize that our own choices have caused harm the phrase that webster used pain of mind is salient because grief is not just an emotion it encompasses a spectrum of emotions thoughts and processes that involve the mind heart and body we obviously experience grief when a loved one dies but sometimes the loss is a relationship a job a business a dream or even the life we imagined we would have we might lose our nervous system s sense of safety due to a health crisis or immense stress sometimes we lose our ability to hear god hear others or hear ourselves clearly av is not only a month of sorrow it is a month of healing sorrow it teaches us not to rush past grief but also not to build a permanent identity around destruction we remember we lament we tell the truth we listen and in that honest place comfort can begin to meet us and repair can begin in truth the pain that heals there are five commonly named stages of grief denial this can t be happening to me anger why is this happening who is to blame bargaining make this not happen and in return i will ____ depression i m too sad to do anything acceptance i m at peace with what happened id 217077374 vectormine dreamstime com cloud and townsend write grief is the one pain that heals all others when i first read that statement it stopped me in my tracks the obvious question was why why would grief the pain most of us avoid resist minimize or rush through be the very pain that heals all others their answer is both simple and profound grief is not merely an emotion it is a progression that requires time it is never a one and done as much as we would prefer that god designed our souls and our brain and he knows what is needed for us to come to terms with a reality we don t like or want so though painful grief is the process that enables the mind body and soul to heal neuroscience helps us understand why grief is a form of learning the brain must slowly update its inner map of reality when someone or something we counted on is no longer available in the same way the brain is predictive it uses past experience to anticipate what should happen next when our new reality violates that prediction the nervous system often reacts with alarm confusion denial anger or attempts to regain control this is the mind and heart saying i do not want this to be true protest and bargaining are not signs of immaturity by themselves they are part of the system trying to resolve the mismatch between the old map and the new reality until that inner map changes the mind will keep searching bracing protesting or reaching for what has been lost the body is also involved bereavement research shows that grief can affect stress physiology inflammation immune regulation sleep cardiovascular function mood and behavior the body can remain organized around threat longing vigilance or protest until the loss is processed and integrated thus unprocessed grief can keep the body in a state of physical stress while honest mourning gives the nervous system a path toward release regulation and rest something has been lost something has died it may be a person but it may also be a dream a season a relationship a plan a role a hope or an image of who we thought we would become at first we protest we do not want the loss to be true we may deny it numb ourselves become angry or bargain with reality we may keep trying to make someone love us understand us choose us approve of us or become who we needed them to be we may try to resurrect a dream a season or a relationship that has already ended eventually if we allow grief to do its work we come to the painful surrender this really is true this is not what i wanted but it is reality the wish and the truth stand in the same room this is the moment we often avoid but it is also the doorway to healing then comes grief proper we cry we tell the truth we let go we say goodbye to what cannot be we stop demanding that the dead thing act alive we allow the soul to finish what it was designed to finish av does not invite us to despair it invites us into the kind of sorrow that heals it teaches us to stop bargaining with ruins and begin receiving comfort in truth shimon hearing the grief shimon or simeon is the tribe traditionally associated with the fifth hebrew month his name comes from the language of hearing when leah named him she said because the lord has heard that i am unloved he has therefore given me this son also so she named him simeon genesis 29 33 that gives av a profound connection to hearing especially listening from a place of pain i cannot help but wonder what grief leah carried as the unloved one scripture tells us her eyes were weak and whether that detail was physical symbolic or both the text makes her pain clear jacob preferred rachel how painful it would be to accept that your life your reality was to always be second in the eyes of your husband most of us would do exactly what she did to try to get our need for love met we would try to earn buy and negotiate our way into the heart of the one with whom we are in covenant maybe you are doing that now with adonai because you believe you are the unloved one despite the truth that he is no respecter of persons grief heals the mind and heart of falsehood if we enter the gates of sorrow in earnest unprocessed grief keeps us in a dangerous mind loop of emotional spiritual and physical pain simeon the one named after hearing and listening to pain teaches us what happens when we ignore that crucial voice in genesis 34 simeon and levi respond to dinah s violation with violent retaliation their pain is real the injustice is real but their response was not merely reactive rage it was planned strategic deceptive and vengeful resulting in the massacre of the men of shechem jacob later rebukes simeon and levi in genesis 49 5 7 calling them vessels or instruments of chamas cruel violence he declares that his soul his nephesh should not enter their secret council and that his glory should not be joined to their assembly because in fierce anger they slew men and in lustful passion they hamstrung oxen that phrase hamstrung oxen is striking to hamstring an animal is to cut the large tendons behind the leg making it lame and unable to walk properly it is an act that does not merely kill it disables wounds and renders something powerless this is how jacob d...