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Text of the page (random words):
idontliketoread trying to deal with a slow brain idontliketoread trying to deal with a slow brain home who the what the fuck i luv it october 15 2009 this morning i woke up with a bit of the cap ns crunch smashed into my pillow i thought to myself let s eat healthy today so i had the mcdonald s egg n cheese biscuit instead of the sausage egg n cheese biscuit at work some guy told me that there was some study done a couple of years ago that said taco bell and white castle are actually the most healthy fast food you can buy done and done lunch and dinner right there and i checked neither were even in the top 20 of any of the studies i read about off google but i really don t care i know fast food is nasty it is bad for me for sure it is certainly not a place i am going for atmosphere today i ate at white castle while a transvestite or a very unfortunate looking lady yelled at someone on his her cell phone it s just so tasty fries burgers fried chicken in various forms i can t get enough i m going to texas to see jordan again in a couple weeks and i m not leaving with out visits to whattaburger and jack in the box we don t have them in ny anyway i washed down my white castle doubles with a pot brownie so this whole writing thing is starting t bug me out fast food tubular my calories for the day mcdonald s sausage egg n cheese biscuit ok i lied 570c hash brown 150c taco bell 3 chicken chalupas 1 080c 20oz diet pepsi diet 2 6c side note a 20oz regular pepsi 226c so apparently getting a diet does make a difference white castle 4 double sliders 1 000c 1 chicken ring sandwich w cheese 198c regular fries 398 medium ice tea 244c that adds up to 3 642 6 calories some calorie counter i found off google said a man my age height weight needs about 3 300c a day to not gain weight so not so bad 1 comment uncategorized permalink posted by jpr radical awesome excellent october 14 2009 what about tubular where did it go i think it s hiding somewhere in 1987 with corey heart i m going to drop a cliched i m bringing it back on tubular i m not sure if i m supposed to be engaging in some kind of water sport not that kind pervert whilst uttering this but i m saying it from now on this is where i would list the different make believe times i said this word i e awkward boss moment doctors office etc i m not creative enough for all that do it in your head but make sure to help me bring it back you know you wanna say it do it do it somewhere in your normal life around people who don t read obscure neglected blogs drop a tubular on someone and i guarantee they give you some kind of smile ad a dude or bro even if you re talking to a girl if you feel comfortable with that tubular it s so liberating you don t have to yell i just happen to be a yeller 7 comments uncategorized permalink posted by jpr nerd alert august 19 2009 it really annoys me that in the newest addition the the x men movie franchise sabertooth is depicted as wolverine s brother in the comics it is always silently understood that sabertooth is his father if anything i saw this movie almost a month ago and it has been eating me up since hey hollywood cool guys you did not get away with this i see you consider yourself exposed i don t know why this has been bothering me so much there are plenty of discrepancies between the movie series and the comic series but i feel strongly about this one i don t know why maybe it s because i m as furry as these two mutants maybe i feel a common bond to hairy animals and demand that their stories are depicted truthfully whatever the fuck the reason is tonight i can sleep knowing these big shot movie suits have been called out 3 comments uncategorized permalink posted by jpr people just like ice cream july 22 2009 you can make the best chocolate truffle in the world create a sublime tiramisu the god damn best chocolate suflay it really doesn t matter people just like ice cream 10 comments uncategorized permalink posted by jpr p d a june 29 2009 i re posted this entry cause i have no talent and struggle to have original thought public display of airguitar that s right children i m that guy you know your on the train maybe on line at the store there s always that dude he s whaling on the pocket of his levis with his right hand the left hand is spazing while the fingers are twitching he has the ipod on and he could care less who witnesses his orgasmic air solo face this is me the other morning i found myself in some post drug induced haze at 7 30am on the corner of 38th and 7th fucking shredding a dave mustaine solo on symphony of destruction a truly rad way to start the day life is really too short to hold back that type feeling and i know you don t like metal maybe it s some sick jigga hook spinning between you ears and can t help bobbin your head or perhaps the gods have smiled on you prince has just become audible at the grocery store and you just cant stop your self from freaking the cilantro cause we all know there s something sexy about cilantro the point is just rock when you wanna don t let the dirty looks sneers jeers or even the tomatoes tossed at your head keep you from expressing yourself 12 comments uncategorized permalink posted by jpr i don t need these june 23 2009 the night i turned 18 chris and i ate an 8th of mushrooms each you know the wacky kind everyone we were with disappeared and in good fashion we bugged the fuck out why did i do this is it gonna be like this forever why is my ribcage so squishy i could hear every word spoken by every person on that shitty board walk in ocean city md the ground was running away from me my camel special lights were attached to the pack with crazy glue and i was wearing shoes wait that last part is perfectly normal everyone wears shoes this is commonplace chris that s the problem man you don t need em me but my mom just bought me these i looked down at my eight day old puma romas they were fucking shiny man bright blue and fresh and to top it off they matched my favorite shirt a blue york prep polyester baseball tshirt a 2 thrift store buy that i still have today me they re nice shoes chris has taken his shoes off chris you don t need them ahhhh this is the time when he made a sprint for the ocean and flung his foot protectors into the atlantic he was running and laughing like a mad man what could i do i tossed my pumas into the water and i gotta say it helped it was liberating fucking dumb cause we spent the rest of the night tripping barefoot in dirty ass o c m d but it helped me grip the trip a little better liberating now this was gonna be the part of the post where i tied this story into my life today you know some cheesy metaphor about throwing my problems away but reliving that trip really made me want to do mushrooms again so if you ll excuse me i have to make a phone call 14 comments uncategorized permalink posted by jpr question june 14 2009 you re starving you order a pizza and fries the pizza place is only two blocks from your house one block into the two block trip you stumble and one of your flippy floppys falls in the gutter do you finish the journy and pick up the pizza and fries with out the aid of a full floppy set or do you back track a block get another pair and start the trip over 21 comments uncategorized permalink posted by jpr a slice june 2 2009 preface every once in an often the slow drag of the blues gripes me even while on a beach in paradise the undertow of melancholy is inescapable today i had a slice of pizza for lunch i do this about 222 times a year but toady was different this slice of pizza was so god damn delicious it made me want to light myself on fire the first bite was all sauce the tomatoes must have been vine ripened in the garden of eden this sauce was the perfect blend of everything garlic oregano basil and it was sweet not sweet like candy but sweet like the first ray of sunshine on a perfect may morning light and almost unnoticed then the mozzarella it wasn t cheese at all this milky congealer must have been the silk that athena herself slumbered upon a salty heaven when all that was gone i was left with the crust the dough that made this crust could only have been made by my father s father i never knew the man but family has told me that he and i we were cut frome the same stone he and his brothers were bakers i grew up with the smell of freshly baked bread in my nostrils and up until about 5 years ago that same bakery was around the corner from the house i live in now 10 comments uncategorized permalink posted by jpr team america june 1 2009 i was out of the country for the past five days in the dominican republic it was quite laterally paradise i drank gambled and yelled at strangers these are three of my favorite things to do in the sun strangely enough whilst yelling at a russian couple i realised something profound being patriotic is very much like being a sports fan explanation there was more than one time when other vacationers from other countries would hate on me americans now i do realize the massive ego it takes for me to feel as though hating on me means that you hate all americans but i am in fact american and that massive ego is why some people from abroad dislike us so here we go there was a russian couple in particular that pissed me off the most they seemed to be giving me dirty looks all week i was drunk the whole time so it s quite possible it was all in my head finally on my last full day my mom my step dad and i were at the pool laughing very loudly and obnoxiously at god only knows what that was when this russian couple who were out to get me from go walked by and in a mocking tone said russian couple ohh haha i am american hahaha jibber jabber americans me fuck off russia russian guy who by the way was three times my size and could kill me with a pinkie we are from the ukraine american me same thing bro now the fact that he just kept walking and did not destroy me in front of his amazingly hot girl friend is amazing the funny thing is that he knew exactly who i was and where i was from a dick from america but i noticed them at first only because the girls fake tits had been shooting across the resort all week otherwise my ignorant ass lives in a world that revolves around me and me only this to me was just like when i lived in baltimore and orioles fans would hate and mock yankee fans any chance they got to do so but on the same token yankee fans were always indifferent at best to thoes same o s fans you see yankee s fans are not even aware of the fact that o s fans exist let alone hate on them and if a yankee fan does become aware of this fact they will undoubtedly say who cares the o s are insignificant and we have better pizza i don t know what this means and i don t think people from other countries are insignificant but there is something to be said for the fact that everyone notices us in other countries and this has happened to me before while traveling abroad but we just go about our way being harmlessly obnoxious maybe it s ignorance maybe it s tolerance maybe it s just obnoxious i apologise if this made no sense but in true american fashion i just farted it out of my mouth with no regard 11 comments uncategorized permalink posted by jpr i fuckin rule man may 20 2009 apparently i m a self absorbed ass hole today at work this happened female co worker your single right why don t you ask her out me she s not cute enough female co worker you think every girl in the world wants you don t you me yes female co worker your an asshole me yes this is not my fault people i blame my mother every day before school she would tell me that i was very handsome what little boy does not believe what his mother tells him am i to think that the person who gave me life and saved it many times is a liar well i should tell you that this is a woman who when i was a child would tell me that the man would come take me away if i miss behaved can you fucking believe that there i was like 6 or 7 thinking that my mom was just gonna let some fucker come take me away to god knows where to do god knows what to me shudder i m convinced that is at least part of why i have such a self destructive personality or something like that anyway i m really not that conceited but people in relationships just get ridiculous sometimes when it comes to being single they act like us singles have some kind of disease they always want to set you up with someone aka cure you of your single i m doin great people i do what i want when i want by myself i eat dinner whenever i want alone i don t have to wait because someone wants to share their day and nice thoughts with me who wants that i can drink all this wine solo the walls of this 70 year old house never talk back except all night long because i live practically alone in a haunted house with lots of empty rooms wait what was i saying i forgot cause i just spent that last 15 minutes sobbing xanax 14 comments uncategorized permalink posted by jpr previous entries archives october 2009 august 2009 july 2009 june 2009 may 2009 april 2009 march 2009 august 2008 april 2008 march 2008 categories uncategorized blogroll a view from 5280ft baking with plath culinary couture face of the cookie lbluca 77 live it love it she s lump surviving myself the gospel of jp meta create account log in create a free website or blog at wordpress com idontliketoread blog at wordpress com subscribe subscribed idontliketoread sign me up already have a wordpress com account log in now privacy idontliketoread subscribe subscribed sign up log in report this content view site in reader manage subscriptions collapse this bar loading comments write a comment email required name required website design a site like this with wordpress com get started