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Text of the page (random words):
please be patient with the blog for a bit as some things might look kind of fucked up at times well more fucked up than usual i should say oh and please don t comment on this post either i think i took down the comments but who the hell knows my new site is going to be great can t you tell thanks leave a comment filed under uncategorized may 6 2009 8 51 am picking the best part the other day i attended a jewish wedding for the first time and let me tell you those jews know how to have a good time i was raised as a catholic and all the weddings i ever went to growing up were boring as hell though i guess hell isn t very boring at all you know with all the fire and never ending sadness happening but that s beside the point what i realized at the jewish wedding was that because ari is about 07 jewish when i get married in september i m going to be a jew this is obviously pretty exciting to me not because when people see a picture of me and my big nose and ask me if i m jewish i can finally say yes instead of no i just have a fucking big nose asshole no it s because i fully intend on doing that thing that jews do at weddings when they lift the bride and groom up in chairs and dance around with them when i saw that happening i looked at ari and said oh we are totally doing that at our wedding and because i ll be a jew as soon as i end my life as i know it i mean accept the vows of marriage it will totally be an acceptable thing to do i can see it now everyone will be dancing and lifting ari and i up in chairs and i ll yell shalom yom kippur and ari will glare at me and everything will be great unfortunately i have to wait until the wedding to have this experience so until then i suppose i ll just keep dreaming of that day and of that dance and toil away at work to pass the time oy vey 44 comments filed under uncategorized tagged as getting married is weird my girlfriend puts up with a lot the jews are going to love me may 5 2009 3 09 pm sic em there s been a lot of rumors flying around today about apple possibly purchasing twitter and as you can plainly see by my elaborate web site here i am a technology expert so i feel compelled to comment on it my thoughts can be summed up thusly sorry techie speak let s hope so twitter could be a lot better if i don t know someone fucking smart was behind it it just seems like it s always messing up and it s now obvious that the dudes who invented it have no clue how to operate it the biggest proof of this is the fact that they re sitting on millions of wasted ad sales because they can t figure out how to make it profitable the guys who invented twitter are like your childhood friends who would suggest playing hide n seek then promptly stand behind a stop sign when it was their turn to hide they re great at starting something up but the follow through leaves you disappointed and confused go ahead and sick ol jobs sick or not he s still powerful enough to make anything lame cool just be adjusting his crotch on twitter apple it s long overdue 19 comments filed under uncategorized tagged as apple controls my life steve jobs has a mighty crotch twitter helps people may 5 2009 8 11 am tuesdays are melancholy at best more words probably coming later but for now sit back and embrace your inner hipster by listening to this song by we are scientists i m a total hip hop head but this track is amazing try it you ll like it oh and yes your t shirt is hipster approved if it has a logo of something you like but don t really like i know i don t get it either hat tip to jp for introducing the band to me 20 comments filed under uncategorized tagged as i m wearing a flipper t shirt music may 4 2009 8 55 am i ve got a bad feeling about this cooler than you thoughts on my second favorite chewie is first obviously star wars character boba fett in honor of today star wars day everyone knows episodes i through iii are absolutely terrible but here are the reasons 1 boba fett is like ten in episode ii and all he does is watch his dad get killed lame more boba fett equals more good stuff 2 jar jar binks enough said one of the things that made boba fett so cool was all the gadgets he had also the cup on the outside of the pants which is how all people wore them in the past yes boba fett was a fashion icon i just feel like the cape is unnecessary way to go overboard there boba that s definitely an antenna on his helmet while boba fett was hunting down people for money dude was listening to talk radio that s how gangsta he was 36 comments filed under uncategorized tagged as if you know the significance of the post title you rock pop culture stuff star wars is sweet may 1 2009 8 31 am men men men tomorrow night before the blogger meet up and the fight a few of my man friends and i are going to pregame at my apartment before we go to the bar yes that is something alcoholics do because this is an event of epic proportions i have titled the gathering man fest 09 i realize that sadly there are a few of you out there who don t know anything about man fests so i have posted some faq s below for not only your enjoyment but your education 1 why is it called man fest it s called man fest because there will be an apartment full of men and one male dog doing man things like drinking so much that they almost die and seeing who can punch the apartment ceiling 2 when was the first man fest the first man fest was a long long time ago when dinosaurs roamed the earth one day chokchok wandered into moot s cave by accident and because moot was having a good time punching the wall chokchok decided to stay and punch the wall as well shortly after this ung heard all the punching and laughing so he decided to come into moot s cave and hang out too all three men punched the wall then punched each other and laughed and had a generally fun time that was the first man fest 3 can i come to man fest are you now or are you in the early stages of becoming a man then yes otherwise no it s for your own good 4 what does one wear to a man fest casual attire is encouraged also anything flammable is always a hit 5 has anyone famous ever attended a man fest yes in 1992 fresh off of the classic film white men can t jump wesley snipes attended man fest 92 in los lunas new mexico a funny story from that event was that even though it was held at night snipes wore his sunglasses the entire time and insisted that everyone in attendance high five him after every joke he made it was obviously one of the best man fests ever i hope this list helps you with getting a better understanding of what i am going to be undertaking tomorrow night if you re a man and in the city please come oh and sorry ladies no pictures will be taken 36 comments filed under uncategorized tagged as man things men moot was really popular april 30 2009 9 18 am real adventure when i was growing up the first thing i ever imagined myself becoming when i was an adult was indiana jones i figured like any young boy would that getting women punching the shit out of bad dudes and saving enslaved children by grabbing some weird rock was a pretty good life of course now that i m an adult i ve been sucker punched by this thing called real life and to my dismay i don t think i m ever going to be indiana jones in fact the closest i ever get to it is the mad dash to a train that is about to leave the station there really isn t anything more exciting than seeing the subway doors start to close and jumping into the car right at the last possible second i actually take quite a bit of pride in my ability too it s not for the faint hearted sky diving please try weaving through a crowd of angry commuters knocking the weak aside if that s what is necessary and leaping through the air to catch a train all to save yourself ten minutes now that is what i call extreme the best part about it is seeing the faces of doubt when i make my move toward the train when i pick up my pace to a steady jog i always see the people who have exited the subway and i know what they re thinking he ll never make it what a fool he s going to be ten minutes later than he thought i think his fly is down and i m feeling intrigued but i keep going why because this is my temple of doom this is my lost ark and damn you to hell if you think it will be my last crusade when the doors begin to close that s when i make my jump straightening myself out so as to give myself the most room possible to squeeze through then when i make it on the train i always take a look around at the people on there already i nod at the few who have just witnessed this miracle this feat of amazingness and feel bad for those who missed it jumping onto trains at the last minute may not be fulfilling my dream to one day become indiana jones but it certainly comes close let s see an archaeologist do that 39 comments filed under uncategorized tagged as i am a risk taker indiana jones is awesome train thoughts april 29 2009 11 09 am minus one i should explain first that i hate the show jon kate plus 8 when ari watches it i want to punch myself in the face until i pass out because if i wanted to listen to eight kids screaming and yelling i d i don t know have some fucking kids with that because i ve seen the show i can t help but notice how shitty kate is to jon if you ve seen it you know exactly what i m talking about jon is like a shell of a man which i guess is what happens when you have eight kids but kate definitely makes it worse but now there are rumors of a security guard catching jon in the act of cheating on his wife and i feel like screaming yes jon has his life back i m not saying cheating is a positive but really this is a good thing and don t tell me about how it s bad because what about the kids do you think it s better for kids to grow up in a house where the parents hate each other or one with just one parent exactly so this is just to say hello jon it s nice to have you back among the living also tell kate her hair is weird 45 comments filed under uncategorized tagged as i m allowed to judge others because i have a blog pop culture stuff april 29 2009 8 33 am true this card that i made sums up my feelings pretty well 15 comments filed under uncategorized tagged as being friendly is overrated i express feelings with sarcasm april 28 2009 9 48 am either or i often grapple with many difficult questions such as why are my feet always so hot who told k fed that he should pursue a music career why don t more people give more respect to the movie taps while those are all great questions arguably the hardest question i ve ever tried to answer is who i like better batman or superman i know right away what the most of you are going to say it s batman and the only reason you might not vote for batman is because they put nipples on his suit in batman robin but i don t think it s that clear cut i think superman is vastly underrated in the super hero realm and because of his good guy image he gets a bad rap here s how i try and solve this dilemma who would i rather go to a bar with at first it would seem that again batman is the easy choice but life is never that easy if it was i d have my first book published and eva mendes would be all oh you re hot do me at my book signing and i d be all nah it ain t like that if i was at a bar with batman all night long i d be trying to keep up with his coolness which is basically impossible he d be talking to women and i d just be sitting there bored out of my mind all my guy friends wouldn t want to hear my stories anymore because let s be honest while the time i told a guy he looked like crocodile dundee is funny it can t compare to the 437 times batman saved someone s life while i d be playing second fiddle to batman if i went to a bar with superman it d be completely different because he s such a nice guy he d make sure i was part of the conversation at all times and even maybe give me one or two of his stories to pass off as my own even with this thought out i still cannot decide which super hero i like better but at least i am certain of one thing no matter which one i was with we d all end up making fun of aquaman by the end of the night and really isn t that what matters most 33 comments filed under uncategorized tagged as aquaman is a loser batman should wear more jeans important things to think about older posts the new hotness chris doin work picking the best part sic em tuesdays are melancholy at best i ve got a bad feeling about this men men men real adventure minus one true either or everything to worry about come one come all now you re playing with power join my network on facebook blog network name surviving myself topics humor news observations join my network blog networks follow me on twitter if you re really bored tweets by bksurviving click this crap alcohol makes me happy and sad alcohol makes things fun being friendly is overrated blogs are important brooklyn bruce willis is bald and he s cool burt reynolds time bitches dates without underwear are the best kinds of dates dinosaurs make me happy dogs are hell first thoughts fun times with alcohol games that make you feel cool getting married is weird getting old guest bloggers are awesome hatin helping others i m a grouch i m allowed to judge others because i have a blog i m a scientist i m different than you i m not as good of a dancer as i thought i was i m not smooth i m really a man i swear i m sensitive i m smart if rocking is wrong i don t wanna be right i help famous people i help people i like big butts and i cannot lie important things to think about indiana jones is awesome introductions it s okay if you like old ladies jack jesus was awesome kim kardashian makes me happy in more ways than one larry david man things memories men movies that offend me music my girlfriend puts up with a lot obama reads my blog office talk people are odd pop culture stuff ranting relationships robocop would arrest my blog for being too awesome seinfeld makes me not hate everything snow is for kids sometimes i think about things that don t matter stuff that sucks tackling the tough issues tequila makes me nice the bad hair descisions of youth the egyptians are overrated the gym the rules of life suck things that make me cynical things that suck trader joe s train thoughts triumphs based on ari being unable to stop me tv twitter helps people voting is fucking important we all lose sometimes wine makes me blog without material goods who are we women make me tired work old stuff may 2009 april 2009 march 2009 february 2009 january 2009 december 2008 november 2008 october 2008 september 2008 august 2008 july 2008 june 2008 may 2008 april 2008 march 2008 february 2008 surviving myself create a free website or blog at wordpress com surviving myself blog at wordpress com subscribe subscribed surviving myself sign me up already have a wordpress com account log in now privacy surviving myself subscribe subscribed sign up log in report this content view 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