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ate that some people have stopped in here daily for years and i wish i could have a cup of coffee and zucchini bread with each of you you have made me want to be a better writer one day that might happen yet posted by jody at 7 33 pm 10 comments labels i m still here memories what is it about nitty gritty friday september 12 2014 this is the stuff we will want to look back on this guy four years old attending preschool 3 mornings a week still not always using the potty when he is supposed to wakes up totally grumpy or totally sweet but the sweet wears off usually by the time he has to go to the potty he sings when he plays games he plays games when he eats he eats like a puppy most of the time and he whines like a puppy when it s time for bed he loves playing tricks and bugging his siblings and can t have daddy leave for work without giving him a high 5 exploding knuckles hug kiss pinky promise and arm bump his idiosyncrasies are almost too much to deal with in a given day yet our days wouldn t be the same without them he can drive us all crazy and then melt us all in the same two minute time span he must have some hidden super power or something because with a single tight squeeze around your neck you forgive him for all the little crazy and big things he s done and all he makes you feel is love oh teague what a guy posted by jody at 2 42 pm 3 comments labels challenges just fun love memories perspective monday august 18 2014 a life interrupted all of a sudden six months have passed and really if anyone is still stopping by at all that is a small miracle in and of itself for this blog first of all my apologies for not posting and sharing or at least putting up a graphic that says nitty gritty out to lunch or something to indicate that i was still here just not here i can tell you in the past several months there has been a lot of living going on in our life and family so much so that i don t find or make time to blog like i want to or should there has been a couple of birthdays and preschool graduation there was a new puppy and a lot of fun and cute pictures with our sweet goldendoodle hazel and then there was the tough decision to find her a new home after a week of wyndham having such high anxiety over a puppy that she literally wouldn t eat so hazel got a new home there were tears and life lessons and i could practically write a whole book on just that week in our life alone maybe one day i ll write that story in addition to puppy days there were days at the beach and riding the one cent pony at the grocery store there was a week of camp and grandparents here from michigan there was coke float day and maybe you got in on that with is even if it was a virtual celebration i could probably write a book about how coke float day has evolved and become almost a summer holiday all its own there have been parades and pool days and more days spent by the pool there have been a couple of day trips to chicago and days recovering from those days which means catching up on laundry and sleeping in as late as we can our summer has been full in so many ways from fresh local produce our favorites are the jumbo blueberries cherries and peaches to gourmet cupcakes and walks to the park there have been lots of days that felt like fall and only a handful that we needed to turn the a c on which is rare for where we live there have been new friendships formed and new experiences including brock finishing driving school and getting his permit there has been so much and yet really we have just so enjoyed doing nothing for nearly three full months it has been a wonderful summer and we have one week left to enjoy it to the fullest so with all of that going on behind the scenes of nitty gritty it s no wonder there has been a quiet lull on this blog but something else has happened something that stirred in me and brings me back to my laptop to click away and put my thoughts down in this place it s a book called interrupted by jen hatmaker maybe you have heard of her and or her book it is in easy to spot places like barnes noble and you can pick up a copy right here online at amazon too i don t know jen i have heard her speak briefly at a weekend conference via satellite but after reading this book i feel like i know a big part of her heart she writes this book so authentically and candidly i actually laughed outloud at times and that s not normally how i read books i cruised through this book in a matter of two days which also speaks to the readability of it the way and they why she wrote this book so resonated with me and that is what made me want to dust off this blog and write again if you have followed nitty gritty for any length of time then you know full well that chip and i have lived a life that was interrupted one sunday during brunch we recently marked thirteen years since that day happened and we are still learning lessons and living in light of so much of the events of that tragedy i can t help but shake the feeling all these years later that there must be a big purpose or point to the pain and hurt behind our interruption knowing just how much god loves and cares and acts out of goodness and justice simply doesn t add up to the amount of pain and hurt we have endured but we know he is in it and over it all so we have hung on and clung to his promise of faithfulness to us even when we can t see or understand his ways in all the twists and turns at times some of what jen writes in this book touched on the parts of me where i still sense such a deep longing or where i just want to see the senseless parts of life make sense she reminded me in sharing her own life journey that god can be trusted in all of it to the point where we can literally pick up and start new again if we are putting all our trust in him for what comes next we have been in places like that even with our last two moves when we didn t know where we were going or what we were doing next but god knew and sometimes i think he leaves us hanging without a clue as to the next step to test us and see if we are willing to get out of the boat and follow him not just with our words and rhetoric but with our whole hearts and selves it s easy to give money or to raise a hand or nod approvingly to the sermon being preached in church it s a whole other thing to get up and actually respond and do something especially something radical i have wrestled and prayed a lot since reading interrupted it s one thing to read the book but another thing to be moved it s one thing to read the bible to know it to study it to love it to lean on it to believe in it to turn to it to memorize it and study it and share it it s another thing to let it so penetrate your heart and mind that you are different each and every day because of the truth in its pages i have wondered and questioned why things have happened in our lives the way that they have especially in regards to the move to minnesota and back it hasn t made sense in my practical and structure loving mind i have asked god to show me how or why or what to do as a result of this i have opened my heart and soul for him to use me use our whole family here in any way that he feels led to do so sometimes i have felt like i missed the calling when i was single and more able to pack up and serve him in africa being a sahm stuck at home mom as i refer to myself many times in a mostly middle class white america feels like a box a very blessed and wonderful box but a box just the same i have wondered how god could use me or why he would need me here this part of jen s book made sense to me and makes me realize that no matter where we live or who we are or what we have to offer god can use it all and he wants too as long as we are willing to say yes when our life gets interrupted we have the privilege of serving jesus himself every time we feed a hungry belly each moment we give dignity to someone who has none left when we acknowledge the value of a convict because he or she i added that pronoun is a human being when we share our extreme excess with those who have nothing when we love the forsaken and remember the forgotten jesus is there i still can t say that i fully understand or ever will fully understand how god wills moves or works but i am willing to open my heart to his ways and be moved as a result in every little or big way that i sense his call in my life i am willing to be interrupted inconvenienced embarrassed put on the spot broken and uncomfortable for the sake of his glory and kingdom not because i am worthy or great but because of what he did for me on the cross it s the least i can offer back to him posted by jody at 10 01 am 6 comments labels figuring life out as we go along the way i m still here truth saturday march 01 2014 ready for spring hello march 1st i would like to think that it signals the onset of spring but we are getting more snow even now as i write this blog post we had a couple of inches over night last night so between the accumulation of new snow and the cold temperature today was right around 20 degrees here in west michigan it doesn t seem all that hopeful for an early spring but they do say march comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb so we are perfectly on course to do that march 1st also brings the opportunity for anyone who wants to get a cocoa daisy kit add ons or day in the life kit the chance to do so this month s grey street kit has been a big hit with the subscribers and we as a design team all loved it too the greens gray and splashes of other colors make it fun and definitely get you wanting spring even more so i loved scrapping the page about teagan s rainboots and the sweet memories they bring to my mind even all these years later march is teagan s birthday month and so those memories are even more vivid as we prepare to mark another birthday without her here on earth with us but never far from our hearts and minds she will always be such a colorful cherished part of my memories and i am glad that her stories can still find their way onto my scrap pages i loved scrapping teague s newborn baby picture too there is something so amazing wrapped up in the hopes and dreams of a new baby teague is quite a handful now than he was all tiny and sleeping in that photo but i still have huge dreams and hopes for all of my kids i am sure that never changes even as they grow and change themselves here s to a bright future a new beginning with the onset of spring and hopefully sunshine to start melting all the snow posted by jody at 10 12 pm 3 comments labels just fun memories missing teagan scrapbooking tuesday february 25 2014 memories old and new i love getting to re live memories as i scrapbook and create pages and mini books each month this month cocoa daisy s reveal night is earlier than usual it s happening tomorrow the 26th due to the short month of february so here are a couple of sneak peeks of grey street to tide you over until the full reveal tomorrow this kit has some fun pops of green and yellow and of course gray i have enjoyed documenting moments and stories that still impact me years after they have happened small details but so big in the scheme of stories i don t want to soon forget and even better to capture on page and pass along as the years go by they fly by so fast proof of that is brock s 15th birthday last week he ended up getting a snow day and school cancelled last tuesday but the weather turned sunny and nice and so our whole family went out to a japanese steakhouse and to the lego movie to celebrate such a big day it was fun to have an unexpected family day to mark the occasion there was a morning homemade latte to kick off brock turning 15 and homemade vanilla bean cheesecake to round out the day we all feel so blessed to be a part of brock s life he has been a great kid and a truly nice guy as a teen too the best of both worlds for our family and i am pretty sure he is turning into a pretty great young man right before our eyes as well we are glad for all the moments and years we have had with him and i hope to scrapbook more of them as the years go on yay for living the memories and capturing them on page too posted by jody at 8 53 am 1 comment friday february 14 2014 beyond the fluff of valentine s what i would love to write in this space today is how dreamy and sappy it is to be celebrating valentine s day with my true love who doesn t want the perfect love story at some point in their life especially on valentine s day but the truth and reality in this great big world of ours even on valentine s day or maybe especially so on valentine s day is that true love isn t as pretty and sweet as the cards flowers dark chocolates and fairytales that consume this holiday would like us all to believe those things are great they are awesome and special even they do say i love you and they can certainly communicate what is in one s heart i am not writing off dark chocolate sea salt caramels wrapped up with a bow ever but i am sharing my own heart and thoughts about what i have learned love to be and i can tell you it s not all rosy and chocolates in fact the deepest most pure love that i have ever experienced in my 41 years of life most often has been shown to me not in the form of a tangible gift at all it hasn t been showered on me when life has been it s prettiest it has been in some of the deepest darkest pits of life that i have felt loved supported cherished and comforted the times when i look back in my life and know that love was holding me are times when flowers and chocolates would have failed and even felt offensive as a gift of love it strikes me as interesting that when i have needed love and care the most in my life that the most thoughtful most meaningful gesture of love has been simply having someone sit next to me and weep with me or hold me close and cry with me love has shown itself faithful and true to me in an embrace at the airport in chicago standing next to baggage claim it has stood by me as we sang it is well with my soul as we said good bye to teagan at her memorial services love has lifted me when i felt i couldn t bring myself to say i forgive you love was wrapped around me when i claimed that truth and it helped set my heart free love was there when i cried out and wept over a load of fresh warm whites to fold and found myself unable to breathe it whispered to my heart look to the heavens and trust me for your very breath love has wrapped its tiny newborn finger around mine and made me believe in joy and hope in this world again it has gotten up with me in the middle of the night too many times to count and helped give a shower or start a load of laundry and held a sick child love has walked in the door and placed take out on the counter too many times to count that as well it has scrapped the snow off the windshield and started the vehicle so that the inside was warm for travel love tells me to text him a grocery list and says no problem when i say ...