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justforscuz skip to main skip to sidebar justforscuz friday august 20 2010 how to be alone part 3 i always find it fascinating when people say i d rather have that or do this than be alone because like my co contributors i relish in alone ness like it is a sacred gift from the world itself think about it every day we shuffle ourselves off into the daily grind there are people at the bus stop on the t at work if you are employed at stores at the park on the street in our apartments some might call them roommates i call them intruders in my life kidding etc etc etc there comes a point when you need a break from it all when you need to sit in your bedroom hair uncombed with a bag of peanut butter m ms a diet coke and 2 seasons of pushing daisies to watch on your antiquated laptop which barely has the technology to post in this blog this is not to say i don t like people well maybe it is i ll be honest i don t always like people but even as a child i constantly plotted ways to escape my extremely nice non overbearing relatively amazing family in the grand scheme of crazy families anyway whether it was through reading a good book or rather any book consider my obsession with the trixie beldon series nancy drew was too cool for me krissy knows what i am talking about or hiding out in my bedroom or climbing a tree i found my ways to be by myself now that i ve grown up sometimes it seems i am alone in my desire to be alone see how i did that i m just so good at disappearing by this point i don t even notice my tendency to going into lone wolf mode anymore i ve planned vacations and then clued my family in last minute as an after thought because i am sure they d want to know that i will be in a developing country for 2 weeks i leave the apartment in the morning return at midnight with little to no explanation instigating concerned text messages on a phone that never has the ringer on if i am bored with a situation i leave the room leave the party my picture is probably next to the definition of the irish good bye the truth is it doesn t occur to me that people would ever want to be clued in on the goings on of my little old life this goes beyond me not wanting people to cramp my style i ve just never had anyone in my life that required me to check in even as a teenager i told my parents where i was going and what time i was going to be back and as long as i stuck with that plan i didn t need to keep them posted along the way as depressing as this will sound i consider myself a disposable friend here when you want me gone when you don t need me around out of sight out of mind i blow in and out of people s lives like tumbleweed am i done with these metaphors yes yes i think i am as i watch friends jump into relationships connecting their lives with others in a way that goes beyond a facebook link i wonder if i will ever be able to pull that off when people tell me they hate long distance relationships i am always afraid to admit i secretly dream for that opportunity scheduled phone calls long weekend visits emails about hopes dreams and muppets that s the stuff i can do but if someone wants to see me every day talk to me every day it makes me nervous and i start to make excuses why it just won t work if that kind of togetherness is what the other person wants it s not me to need that it s taken me a long time to get to this place but i like being on my own i function well alone i am comfortable with it i like to move easily about the cabin that is life and when you are attached at the hip to someone else it can be difficult to maneuver i just haven t learned the steps to that dance yet and maybe it s because i was never ready for it but behind every loner there is a closet romantic i want the white picket fence and all that comes with it i do want that one special person with which to grow old and if he is the right person he will understand my need for personal space in the form of an office studio space in a converted carriage house out back and a few kids if the fates allow definitely a dog the thing is all of these hopes and dreams come with a dose of reality my life isn t that white frosted fantasy i may have once naively imagined but being alone for so long has made me see what it is i want and what it is i will need to be happy and this sense of self is all really one can hope for posted by ms rackow at 7 30 pm 10 comments labels ms rackow monday august 16 2010 how to be alone part 2 having been alone my whole life it s an adjustment not being alone worse and more difficult than to explain this to friends or random people is explaining this to someone you re dating like krissy i have had friends i have had family but before i had friends i was alone i didn t have close friends until i was 15 or so it was a strange concept which is perhaps why i was so easily convinced once that no one wanted to be my friend even though they did i had a large family so i was never completely alone i had 3 brothers but they had different interests as much as i pretended to like these interests or they pretended i wasn t an inconvenience attempting to play sports i was set apart in basketball we came to an agreement that i would stand in one place which was a sweet spot for me and when given the ball i would shoot i think when i sunk a shot i sang i m still standing by elton john no wonder i was alone even so my siblings had friends at a much earlier age at first i probably hated the lonely feeling then lonely didn t feel so lonely the times when i did want to be alone i never really was i brought up the notion of going to the bathroom while another person was showering in the same bathroom it freaked my boyfriend out we did it all the time growing up 7 people and 2 bathrooms do the math before the age of 24 i only had my own room for 1 year and then for two years i was an independent fully employed young man who lived with his parents now that i can be alone sometimes i just want to it s hard now to explain to someone that you choose to be with and who chooses to be with me that sometimes i just need to be completely alone it s probably more often than is acceptable and i will keep the quotes because having spent so much time not worrying about societal norms i don t think there is an acceptable amount perhaps it sounds selfish to the other person when you explain that it is not about them it has absolutely nothing to with anyone but me maybe it takes loners more time to be good at a relationship again i keep the quotes because i think the best relationships are formed when two people maintain their strong characteristics it doesn t mean i love any less being alone you learn a lot about yourself i m always told i seem very sure of who i am well i hope so because i have had more time to work on myself than the average person and i like me me and myself have had some good times together the older i get the harder it is to stay in touch with some friends with jobs meetings relationships family friends weddings parties hobbies exercise there is precious little time for oneself i have to make more of an effort to find quality time with important people in my life to catch up with an old friend sometimes i need time to catch up with the oldest friend i have follow the advice from the video in part 1 the more you learn about yourself the better you will be for yourself and others posted by tim at 11 10 pm 2 comments wednesday august 11 2010 how to be alone pt 1 so i m pretty sure if there s one thing we kids at justforscuz can agree on it s that we love to be alone we re used to it we re good at it sometimes gasp we even prefer it i ve recently started seeing someone shocking i know and have found myself struggling to explain my fondness for aloneness i think it s often confused for loneliness and herein lies the problem being alone is a choice and it s a mighty valid one being alone doesn t mean i don t have love friends or family it just means that when i find myself alone with myself i am content with the company of my own thoughts see it s not as easy to explain to you as it was to myself one point for being alone anyways here is someone much more eloquent to explain how i feel posted by kriz_lemon at 11 25 am 1 comment monday may 10 2010 that s my main b tch you should be listening to melanie fiona if you re not already her music samples a lot of good oldies songs this is my favorite track posted by tim at 9 18 pm no comments wednesday april 28 2010 myplate a coworker showed me a feature on livestrong called myplate it s kind of awesome and i ve been playing on it all day what it basically is is a food and fitness tracker to create a profile you enter your information gender height weight and activity level and your goal weight management lose 1 pound a week lose 1 5 a week etc what i really like about it is that is has everything for food and very specific it had the exact type of whole wheat wraps i eat and dunkin donuts bagels versus just bagel in fact even trublood is an option if you are a tv vampire living in the bayou i also entered my morning run and it tracks time speed and distance to calculate calories burned as a weight watchers graduate not that i paid for it or went to meetings shhh i think this is a great product because it is a user friendly way to track calories in and calories out the weight watchers system works on this principle but simplifies the calories into points a point is about 50 calories factoring for fat and fiber for those who are interested or need it the site also gives specific percentages on your intake of calories from carbs protein and fat for the truly obsessive or those with specific health goals you can track sodium cholesterol and sugar i may fall in and out of keeping up with this site but then i ve done that with my weight loss efforts for 5 years and this is another thing that i can always go back to posted by tim at 2 57 pm 3 comments labels health nerd alert reviews technology screech people particularly en masse are stupid at a bar last night there was a vote on what to listen to while on the tvs the red sox and the celtics were on the choices were music the red sox or the celtics my vote because i am not at all interested in the celtics and would like to be able to watch the red sox but also listen to music was music besides it being a more pleasant sound you can t see music to be fair to everyone since two out of three choices possess the ability to be seen and heard music should have been the defaulted decision the vote was conducted by who could be the loudest music was first i said ooo ooooo and a few other people cheered red sox were second not very many votes there celtics were last here s the thing if you leave a choice for last in a noise conducted poll you are already giving it unfair advantage everyone knows how loud the first groups were and therefor exactly how loud they need to be they could even be fairly quiet as long as the decibel level is greater than the groups before because of this we will never really know if people liked screech and lisa s dance the best on saved by the bell applause o meter i think not speaking of screech the celtics won the applause o meter vote in this case the celtics basketball really that s what you want to listen to music doesn t hurt anything you can still see what s going on do you really need some old dudes to tell you what already happened or read the stats to you off the screen most of the time they re just gossiping or talking about inside jokes that only the two of them get my second vote would be for baseball you get the spring night time sounds the crowd the crack of the bat the umpire calling the pitches but no we re gonna listen to basketball screech screech dribble dribble airhorn whistle screech screech buzzer screech 7 foot dudes falling on the floor the only good noise in basketball is a swish and i don t think you can even hear that on tv big mistake posted by tim at 11 42 am 1 comment labels gripe of the day rant tv tuesday april 27 2010 my legacy i posted this on a friend s facebook page because it s amazing and he posted it on his blog for the new york times mindless minute so i have changed the world and left a mark i can die now posted by tim at 2 38 pm no comments labels disney just for scuz movies older posts home subscribe to posts atom blog archive 2010 11 august 3 how to be alone part 3 how to be alone part 2 how to be alone pt 1 may 1 april 3 february 2 january 2 2009 63 december 4 november 40 august 3 april 2 march 1 february 5 january 8 2008 17 december 17 labels apartment living beard off black friday blerg cooking costco dancing with the stars dating disney driving events flamingos garden gnomes gremlins gripe of the day halloween harry potter health high horse holidays just for scuz karma movies ms rackow muppets music nablopomo nanowrimo nerd alert over hated posts we can t seem to finish products we hate quick quote rant ratings resolutions restaurant reviews road rage running slafghan slap bets superheroes technology thanksgiving that s what she said tv work writing youtube followers writers ms rackow tim justforscuz kriz_lemon blogs we read quarter life rhythm 2birds1blog the good eatah