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is twentieth birthday dana showed up that morning to see him off she was a walking billboard of encouragement with her marines hat and a t shirt stating pain is just weakness leaving the body i was barely able to keep my weakness intact as the recruiter s car carrying my son turned the corner dana and her husband were a great help to me and my family they knew exactly what we were going through they had been there not so long ago in the months that followed dana and i talked a lot i had known her for years but our sons military paths brought us closer although i couldn t help but feel that i was failing by comparison in the mom pride department i was proud of my son s decision to serve our country and was growing more proud as he worked his way through the thirteen week training regimen but couldn t bring myself to put on a sassy shirt and cheer my thoughts were still muddled with all of those what ifs meanwhile these fears were coming to life for dana a few months before david enlisted billy s unit was deployed to afghanistan at the end of their tour while dismantling the camp they were ambushed and two of his friends were killed this held up their departure when he was finally back on american soil it was not the happy homecoming that dana had hoped and prayed for billy was depressed and angry and had no way to express it so he drank dana tried talking to him and urged him to seek help she knew something was wrong but billy wasn t ready to face it all she could do was keep trying to get him to talk to her to a friend to anyone what they later found was he was suffering from ptsd post traumatic stress disorder the mayo clinic defines ptsd as a mental health condition that s triggered by a terrifying event some symptoms can include flashbacks nightmares and severe anxiety they have found people who seek help soon after experiencing symptoms have a better chance of recovering and a decreased chance of developing a long term disorder studies released by the united states department of veterans affairs claim combat exposure as a leading cause of ptsd cases among military members and list many secondary problems that often accompany the disorder like depression drinking or drug problems and job or relationship problems these can also exacerbate into physical symptoms such as chronic pain the mayo clinic warns that symptoms can continue to worsen if untreated and can lead to thoughts of suicide or violence towards others seeking help at the onset of symptoms is the key to recovery but what if military members don t want to seek help dana knew her son was experiencing some of these symptoms and drinking heavily since returning home she begged him to talk to someone he told her it wasn t what marines did and that he would be fine the department of veterans affairs reported that out of the one million troops that left active duty in iraq and afghanistan from 2002 2009 about half came in for va services out of them 48 were diagnosed with a mental health problem like ptsd their concern is for the military members that do not seek help for their symptoms the reasons ranged from concerns of being judged as weak to feelings that therapy in general is ineffective there are also cases where military members did ask for help but were turned away kathy dobie a reporter for the nation wrote about such an incident involving a young marine from new jersey after his second tour in iraq lance corporal james jenkins was having a hard time coping with the violence he experienced he was involved in close range combat with enemy forces which resulted in a tremendous loss of life including eight americans jenkins repeatedly told his mother about his nightmares overwhelming feelings of remorse and uncontrollable adrenaline surges he started gambling because he liked the fast pace and risks involved and it quickly became an addiction when his money ran out he began writing bad checks to continue gambling he was arrested twice and spent time in the brig a military jail he started talking about suicide his mother tried to get help by calling his commander but was told they had too many soldiers to worry about besides him and he was probably only using the threat of suicide to avoid getting in trouble instead of facing his third arrest jenkins deserted the marines found jenkins living in a nearby town with his fiancée they surrounded the house but before they could reach him he killed himself lance corporal james jenkins was 23 years old dana kept pushing billy to seek help and eventually he gave in she jokes that she harped him into it but the relief in her eyes is evident billy s symptoms have improved and he has stopped binge drinking dana does not give away too many details of his therapy which i respect but she does say it is an ongoing process for him i asked dana how she did it how was she able to put the worry and fears aside and beam with pride for her son the marines and the country even after everything they have been through her response was simple the fear is always there i just choose to support him by being as positive as i can my son david is currently in advanced training to be a fire crash and rescue technician for the marines i find that my pride has for the most part won out over my fears i have even bought a t shirt although it is modest in comparison to dana s collection it just says usmc with the words semper fi printed underneath i will be wearing it to my son s graduation in may along with the biggest smile i can muster as he has learned to live by the marine code semper fidelis always faithful i will learn to live with the fear and all of the what ifs because i too have a code semper mater matris always mother not even the marines can change that dana and billy s names were changed to respect their privacy but all other names and research are factual and a list of references used is available upon request david has graduated and is a marine firefighter stationed in yuma arizona although i have a new list of fears like the fact that he eagerly dives under planes to pin secure the wheels during emergencies i have also never been prouder of my marine thanks for reading kristin posted by kristin callender at 9 29 am no comments thursday july 26 2012 sam bags as i mentioned in my previous post i have volunteered to fill 50 gift bags for graduating marines who will have no family or friends attending their ceremony these brave men and women are called sams stand alone marines although i have only volunteered to help with the sam bags in my son s company there are always sams graduating from parris island this bothered me i know through my son how much hard work and strength it takes to make it 13 weeks in the marines boot camp this is no small accomplishment and every man and woman that does it deserves to be celebrated both for their perseverance and for their future service to our country so i set out to find other companies and people who felt the same this is what i found case of puzzle books 40 and many more out dated books donated by penny dell publications norwalk ct 2 pack shavers 50 2 pack pens 50 donated by bic shelton ct handmade thank you and congratulations cards 50 donated by family and friends 50 marine red or 1st battalion red notebooks donated by family members 100 each of the following trapezoid drawstring bags protect care kits pacific aluminum bottles koomba pens ear buds eyeglass holders clock buddies all of this donated by 4imprint com i m amazed at the response i ve gotten so far so many generous companies and people it s heart warming to know our soldiers are appreciated and that these sams will be properly thanked for choosing to serve proudly heart swelling thankful kristin posted by kristin callender at 1 53 pm no comments monday july 23 2012 proud marine recruit mom hi everyone i know it s been a long time since i ve posted on here or have been active online at all after some life changing experiences and inner battles involving writing and just plain needing to figure out me as life changes i took a long break but all that is for another post and another time today i am back to share something very personal my son david joined the marines this year he is now at boot camp in parris island sc where he s been training since may 28 2012 i couldn t be more proud of him although as a mom wouldn t have chosen this path for him or any of my children but i do believe that serving your country is a brave and selfless act one that allows us all the freedoms that we often take for granted so for that i thank every man and woman who chooses to serve in the military i also feel that choosing to join is a calling for some so how do you stand in the way of that you don t no matter how much you want to lock them in their rooms until the world is a safer kinder place as the weeks pass i write my son and wait anxiously yes i am that sappy missing her kid mom for his letters i also follow his training schedule and connect with other family and friends of marine recruits through a website run by the wives of parris island drill instructors www parrisisland yuku com it has been such a huge help for me and my family to get through these long 13 weeks his graduation is quickly approaching now august 24 2012 and i can t wait to see him through my casual observation of the yuku site discussions and by that i mean constant checking and lurking for anything from my son s platoon or company i found out that many new marines do not have any family or friends attending their graduation therefore have opted out of their 10 day leave these soldiers graduate line up at the bus station and head directly to their next training facility the marines call these men and women sams stand alone marines families from each company are asked to help fill gift bags for these sams to be given out as they leave parris island as time went by i realized that no one from david s company was stepping up to organize this project and this broke my heart since parris island graduates new marines almost every week they cannot possibly keep up with the never ending need for these gift bags so if no one volunteers the sams from that graduating class do not get any special send off at all for all of their hard work and training so guess who stepped up yeah me it was one of those weak moments when my heart swelled bigger than my wallet i ve been busy emailing and calling every local and national company i can think of to fill the 50 bags needed for bravo company s sams although i m not a fundraiser i dread my kids coming home with those wrapping paper catalogs or cases of candy bars i am determined to make sure those new marines feel appreciated for their choice to serve and protect us if you are as moved by this as i was you could help too maybe you work for a company or know someone who would be willing to donate something to this very worthy project anything helps and any excess donations not used at the graduation will be sent overseas to deployed marines nothing goes to waste and no amount of help is too little or too much i will post more details shortly about what items would be useful and of course keep everyone updated on any progress made even just keeping these proud new marines in your minds and hearts is nice positive thoughts have a lot of power on their own sam bags progress feel free to drop me a comment about this or to share some great gift ideas thanks and talk to you soon kristin proud marine recruit mom posted by kristin callender at 4 36 pm no comments tuesday april 19 2011 welcome back thanks for stopping by for my welcome back blog post it s been about 2 months since my last post way too long where have i been buried under layers of life i started a new job in the school system and joined a health club with my kids these and the never ending daily concerns have absorbed much of my time while trying to get used to a new schedule and working outside of the house again my writing was put on the back burner not an excuse i know this week is spring break for us and i plan on using it to get my writing self back in gear so far it s gotten off to a good start this morning i was challenged to a word war on twitter yeah first time back on twitter in a long time too i wrote a little more than 500 words in an hour certainly not a record setting writing session but this was a great kick start to get me back into my story i ve also taken some time to update my blog today new background added links new ways to follow and even a new post whew have you been feeling the urge to make changes or restart something you ve let slide lately i d love to hear from you and please let me know what you thing of my blog improvements thanks kristin posted by kristin callender at 12 02 pm 6 comments labels finding time making time spring break writing older posts home subscribe to posts atom followers blog archive 2014 1 february 1 semper mater matris always mother 2012 2 july 2 2011 7 april 1 february 3 january 3 2010 105 december 8 november 12 october 4 september 4 august 2 july 2 june 7 may 10 april 17 march 20 february 16 january 3 2009 72 december 5 november 2 october 10 september 7 august 9 july 9 june 11 may 9 april 10 traffic counter class class about me kristin callender ct united states i am a mom of four children wife of one big kid author daughter sister aunt friend teacher lifelong learner and much more oh and of course i am a twitterer view my complete profile there are no contests at this time for more details click the picture of the book above more book and author info to purchase the truth lies in the dark on amazon to purchase the truth on publisher s website visit my website book reviews etc http www twitter com kcbooks book review disclaimer just in case someone is curious about the nature of my reviews here s my disclaimer i review books that i like and if that review helps another author find more readers that s a bonus most of the books i review are given to me by the author publisher or a publicist involved with the books i donate all of the books i receive to area schools and non profit groups all other books i have bought begged borrowed or stolen heh heh from my mother i do not accept any book on the assumption that i will provide a positive review only that i will read it and consider it for review thanks kristin callender all time favorite authors ernest hemingway s e hinton sidney sheldon via hatchette harper lee danielle steel robert frost stephen king author blogs websites nora roberts steven pressfield lydia ondrusek beyond the margins co written by a great group of authors keri stevens randy susan meyers lisa pietsch jamie debree denise robbins poetry blogs haiku love songs songs for the dead redux shelsilverstein com the official site for kids poetry forum post poetry writing community the poet sanctuary poetry forum free poetry community savvy verse wit moments favorite foodies minute chef rachael ray chris perrin book revi...