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Text of the page (random words):
eading this was my escape i had something to find joy in and focus on now don t get me wrong i have always loved beauty products i am a lip product junkie and have a strange compulsion to buy and try new lip products at any given time i can have up to 10 lip products in my purse alone i grew up in a house with a mother who was an image consultant for a cosmetics company called beauty for all seasons i had a whole slew of makeup items at my fingertips on a regular basis and experimented quite often i knew my season and what colors looked best on me my aunt and grandmother were also involved in this company so i was surrounded i used to work at bath body works i love that store i also have always enjoyed reading various fashion mgazines especially when they have special issues devoted to the best in beauty etc i always made lists of products to try and sometimes purchased some but that was about all i have always been a little more frugal minded when it comes to extravagant cosmetic purchases and so my makeup stash usually consisted of a few simple basics that i used until they were gone and then replaced i like to say that i am going through a mid life crisis my current obsession is beauty products i check out the beauty aisles in every store i am in i am a much more frequent visitor to sephora ulta and lush i have more makeup now than i have probably had in my whole life combined and yes i can see how this could become a problem but i am trying to be careful i earn a little money on the side from thrive so i justify purchases as a treat for myself for my hard work this month is also my birthday month and mother s day so i justified some bigger purchases for those reasons ha ha my whole point to this rambling is to say that this new obsession of mine has been a really great avenue for boosting my self esteem and helping me to remember to focus on me sometimes just taking the extra time to have a fun bubble bath or use a face mask or try a new eyeshadow combo or hairstyle is making me feel happier with myself for so long now i have put my well being last i find this is making me take time to take care of me and while this might sound shallow to some people it has truly been a huge blessing and an eye opener for me now if i could just develop an obsession with working out and dieting and cleaning and organizing my house i would be set baby steps though right sorry no pictures i need to get them off our hard drive hoping to keep blogging i know i always say that posted by kerry at 8 39 pm 1 comments saturday november 03 2012 a little melancholy i have been a little blue lately i suppose i need to document it somewhere and this seems as good a place as any i think my emotions are finally hitting me i would have been 21 weeks pregnant today i probably would be finding out around now if we were going to have a little boy or a girl i think my emotions are creeping up about this loss because of all the pregnancy announcements i have been hearing lately all of which would have been due around the same time as me or shortly after i found out we were expecting back in july when we were visiting my in law s in palmyra we didn t say anything at the time so we could be sure in august we were in idaho for a family reunion and to see my nephew come home from his mission i have never had the opportunity to announce our news when with my entire family before so we spilled the beans a bit early just because i was about 7 weeks along at the time i scheduled my first ob appointment when we came home from idaho and went in around 9 1 2 weeks i had a sonogram at that visit which showed that we were going to miscarry i opted to wait to let it run it s course on it s own it took 2 weeks before anything happened i was about 11 weeks by then it was hard it hurt but i just made myself be tough and told myself it was for the best that it wasn t the right time and that things would work out i didn t want to tell anyone because i didn t want a lot of sympathy and i m sorry s i even sorta felt a little bit embarrassed about it we would have been due at the end of march we never told any of tony s family because we were waiting for a clever way to do so and then we found out it wasn t going to happen anyway so we never said anything about it i felt embarrassed and dumb to have to call my mom and tell her never mind i usually wait to announce our news once the first trimester is up but didn t this time and perhaps this is why i feel embarrassed about it false alarm everyone we are just kidding i hated telling the kids they weren t getting a baby anymore they were so excited avery really wants a baby sister i know we are still meant to have baby 4 it will just have to wait a bit longer today i am mourning the loss of what could have been sooner posted by kerry at 8 13 am 2 comments saturday october 06 2012 catching up ok wow you never really know how much time goes by until you see when you last wrote on your blog 7 months things even look different on blogger i just feel like my life is on fast forward sometimes and i can t figure out how i got to where i am because i don t remember time passing so quickly lately i feel like i have had so many thoughts in my head and not as many people to tell them to i guess this is where the blog comes in again i may blabber on about random things now just to get them out of my head so i don t feel so bogged down mentally sadly i find myself talking to myself a lot just for the sake of telling someone the things in my head ha ha i am a wacko i know but i might find myself feeling a bit more sane if i can journal my thoughts somewhere and the blog is as good a place as any i don t even know fi anyone even reads this anymore so i may be talking to myself anyway my kids logan 8 avery 5 and levi 2 these little munchkins have been in my head lately and everywhere else for that matter i see reminders of them in every room of the house the car the yard etc they are my life this week end is general conference so i tried to make a yummy breakfast to start our saturday off a little different than normal as we sat around the breakfast table together i looked around at the sweet faces of my 3 children and my heart swelled i sat there utterly amazed at these little humans who did not exist on earth until tony and i started our family and here we are 13 years later with 3 little additions to us who are part us and part their own unique and special selves here is logan my first he was a sweet good natured little guy when he was a toddler he was so easy and so good and didn t usually cause me any trouble at all he has turned into such a thoughtful creative imaginative tender hearted caring smart young man he is in 3rd grade that s so hard for me to fathom sometimes i totally remember when i was in 3rd grade while most kids his age are into sports logan prefers using his skills to turn our front yard into his own playland he manages to find all kinds of treasures in the garage which he then uses to build things ziplines swings forts you name it sometimes i am embarrassed about the way my front yard looks but then i don t care because the kids are having a grand time creating memories logan told me he wanted a real life portal for christmas not sure how we can pull that off i was thinking today that i couldn t have gotten a more perfect daughter for me if i had placed a custom order from heaven for her there is no way that i influenced her interests either she came straight from heaven already wired with her sweet loving personality when i was young i was shy around new people and very self conscious not my avery she started kindergarten this year i have loved watching her interact with her classmates she waves and smiles at everyone she sees she gives hugs good bye to her teachers and her friends she holds hands with her friends as they walk along together she even holds hands with her brother as they walk in to school together which melts my heart she loves to perform she even just started taking irish dancing which i am so in love with it isn t funny after watching the movie the luck of the irish on disney she is the one who told me she wanted to learn to dance that way i have been on cloud 9 living vicariously through her irish dance class she has practiced hard this past month and is doing so well i love it she loves to have girl time painting nails or going shopping she is my little side kick in all things girl and it is so much fun our latest adventure has been collecting lalaloopsy dolls i am just as much if not more sometimes addicted to them as she is she is so loving and always tells everyone she loves them and gives us hugs and kisses she is my sweet girl oh my levi pie that s what i call him sometimes he is my little buddy this kid came to us with a strong personality he may be little but he sure has a big personality he talks up a storm and can say pretty much everything he is bound and determined to do things himself and when he wants he is a monkey too and climbing on everything including out of his crib my first kid to ever do that he sure gives us a run for our money he has such crazy hair that there is no point even trying to tame it it is his signature look i have gotten so used to his crazy wacky hair that i forget when i take him places and start getting comments about his hair that most kids don t look like that it makes him him though for sure he loves his big brother and big sister and will often come to their rescue when they get in trouble for things he will defend them so beware to anyone who tries to bother his siblings he loves his blankies and has now grown attached to 4 rather than the standard one he will carry all 4 blankies bunched up in his arms so big they almost cover his whole self if i try to take them from him he says but i love them i love my ginkies and milk he will often wake up in the wee hours of the morning come crying into our room exclaiming need milk i need milk daddy do someping i need it he does have his moments where he will snuggle and i love it i love telling him i love you and hearing him tell me back that s the moments mothers live for it fills my bucket so my kids have been on my mind today so i thought i would share even though i slave over meals that they won t eat ask them to do chores that are a fight to get them to do feel like i am talking to a wall when trying to tell them anything and seeing what messes they have made this time i love them with all my heart and feel so blessed to me their mom posted by kerry at 8 53 pm 2 comments tuesday march 27 2012 still small voice i am writing this post on my new galaxy tablet i feel pretty cool thank you very much i am trying to figure out all the ways i can use this thing so it isn t just a really expensive way to play games ha ha i am sitting outside while my kids are playing they think they are going to build a tree house in our front yard we ll see how that goes so i started my 4th week of couch to 5k today i am repeating week 3 s training schedule though for one i am not ready to make the jump from running 1 1 2 minute and 3 minute intervals to 3 minute and 5 minute intervals when i started week 3 last week i thought i was going to die 3 minutes was tough for me it made me start doubting my ability to do this at all but after running today i could tell how much i have improved since i started i am so glad i invested in good running shoes they really do make so much difference i am not worrying about how my feet feel when i am running it s awesome whether i actually do the 5k now or not is another story i just found out avery s dance recital is on the same day the 5k starts at 10 and she has to be at the theater at 1 best case scenario has me done and on my way home by 11 so i have time to shower and get ready and get avery ready to leave by 12 45 the race is about 45 minutes away tough call i am going to wait till it gets a bit closer to see what to do so today i had another personal lesson on listening to the still small voice and how my heavenly father is mindful of me no matter how trivial tuesdays are busy for me i have play group at the church at 10 30 then i go pick avery up at preschool at 12 00 and take her to dance at 12 30 i have to make sure i have snacks packed diapers for levi any library books that need returned avery s dance clothes clothes for levi in case he is still in his pj s when we leave etc i feel like i am running around a bit crazy before i head out the door today i managed to squeeze in my run before i left so when i was getting ready i happened to notice tony s church keys sitting on the nightstand which made me remember that i had put my own church keys in my church bag on sunday and needed to remember to get them before i left for playgroup so i could open the church and get the toys out i would have totally forgotten about them if i had not seen tony s keys since they are normally in my purse after i had everything loaded in the car to go including levi i had a feeling i should put my new jumper cables in my car i had tony s jumper cables in my van until just recently and gave them back but hadn t put my own in my car yet i also just purchased from shelf reliance something that you just plug in to the lighter in the car and it will charge your battery in like 10 minutes that was in my messy basement and i didn t want to try to find it so i just grabbed my regular ones and away i went after avery s dance class i was getting ready to hurry home and put levi down for a nap when i had a feeling i should check to see if it was early release today sure enough it was so i went straight to the school to pick up logan about 25 minutes early i had the car off but on enough for the kids to watch a movie after about 15 minutes my battery went dead in the middle of the carpool lane i knew then why i had felt the prompting to get the jumper cables and even though i got it jumped by a teacher at the school i might have saved all the hassle if i could have self charged it with my new thing i felt like i had to document these things today three simple promptings or helpful reminders about simple things saved me a lot of unnecessary trouble today it doesn t always have to be a serious life altering event for the guidance of the spirit to come into play the fact that i have the constant gift of the holy ghost allows me to have his help and guidance always i know the more i listen to these smaller promptings the easier it will be for me to listen when it might be more important i am so grateful for that posted by kerry at 1 08 pm 1 comments sunday march 04 2012 a new goal my last post i talked about a goal i had set and was trying to work towards i am sad to say i missed it by a measly 5 points i am very bummed about that but i really did my best and worked really hard to reach it and i am proud of what i accomplished i just won t think about the fact that one more q customer or one more consultant would have...